How Do You Approach Friends About Weight Loss?

stickersticker

I'm not that big but we all have bigger friends. You know people close to you. How do you approach them about getting fit in a way they will listen? My friends aren't into the idea of scanning bar codes and recording work outs. If they were they'd already be doing it. Any ideas? A lot of you guys are going to say the motivation has to come from with in. I don't know, I golf with a group of guys and I've asked a few if they were curious to know what their diet actually did for them which is met with jokes about me being a calorie counter in a negative way. But what I see is the guy who has wings, fries and beer before golf and polishes the round off with some burger king. He constantly reminds us that he should stop smoking as it's killing him getting up the fairways. And all I can think is I can so help my friend. It's so easy. The first step is just committing to wanting it. Maybe I'm just a jerk.

BigT555

unfortunately most people arent going to take your advice to heart unless they truly want to lose weight.

i know alot of my friends who are bigger would tell me flat out the piss off if i talked to them about calorie counting, and they have expressed desire to lose weight in the past

maz504

I don't. Ever. it does have to come within, period. And you run the risk of really offending, embarrassing, and alienating them. My friends know about my weight loss goals and if they have questions they know they are more than welcome to initiate a conversation with me, but hell would freeze over before I approached them.

sugarlemonpie

I think sometimes it can come off as pushy and insulting. I know it's not the intention, but people can be VERY sensitive about their weight and it can have the opposite effect.

I think the best way is to start with exercise. Just say "Hey you wanna go for a hike with me on Saturday?" or something like that. My friend was larger than me, but that didn't matter. We'd go for walks and out to eat, and I noticed my eating habits were kind of rubbing off on her. Then she started kickboxing classes and got into it!

It's different for everyone. In terms of kicking habits like smoking, that's a whole 'nother ballgame.

Francl27

I don't. If people ask me how I did it (and a lot do), I just tell them I work out, walk a lot, and count calories. Typically the questions stop there and they tell me they can't imagine doing it because they love food too much.. but so do I, really. I just had to learn moderation, which I guess is the hardest part for most people.

DanaDark

I have an obese friend whose doctor told him he will most likely die within 10 years unless he loses weight.

He hasn't done a thing to lose even an ounce.

You can bring a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

I am one of the lightest among all my friends, and I am constantly trying to shed some vanity pounds. I always wish they would get on the wagon and shed a few. Not for looks, but for their health. Several of them have already suffered medical complications in their 20s due to weight.

cingle87

I don't and you shouldn't, I only ever bring up my weight loss when someone ask me a question about it I will never say oh you could do with losing 20/30lbs even though we're all thinking it.

alexagia

You kinda have to wait until they come to you. All I can suggest is try to set an example without rubbing their noses in it. If they see how well you're doing, they might see the light, and decide that they want what you have.

BigGuy47

Maybe I'm just a jerk.

That's exactly what they'll think if you try to impose your lifestyle on them. The good news is that you can easily out run them if you happen to piss them off. Maybe they will try to get in shape for the sole purpose of beating the crap out of you.

JCLondonUK

I don't. Ever. it does have to come within, period. And you run the risk of really offending, embarrassing, and alienating them. My friends know about my weight loss goals and if they have questions they know they are more than welcome to initiate a conversation with me, but hell would freeze over before I approached them.

^^ This

Mind your own business, and leave others to live their lives as they choose.

RBXChas

I don't. Ever. it does have to come within, period. And you run the risk of really offending, embarrassing, and alienating them. My friends know about my weight loss goals and if they have questions they know they are more than welcome to initiate a conversation with me, but hell would freeze over before I approached them.

^This, seriously.

OP, you're not a jerk. You care, and that says a lot. But you need to leave it alone unless you want your friends to think you're a jerk.

cwolfman13

I don't...at most I will invite them to join me on a bike ride or a hike or whatever, but I don't ever have "interventions" with my overweight friends. If someone would have done that with me when I was fat I would have kicked their ****ing *kitten* into next week. It's difficult, because these are our friends and we care about them....but there's not a whole lot that can be done outside of setting a good, positive example.

If they want to make that change, they have to decide to do it for themselves...I can be an example and I'm always willing to share what knowledge I have with anyone...but I don't push it on anyone. If they ask, I tell...but that's it.

tulosai

I don't. Ever. it does have to come within, period. And you run the risk of really offending, embarrassing, and alienating them. My friends know about my weight loss goals and if they have questions they know they are more than welcome to initiate a conversation with me, but hell would freeze over before I approached them.

This. I only speak about it with anyone if they speak about it first, and even in that instance I proceed with EXTREME caution. The only exception to this might be if someone VERY close to me (husband, parent, sibling) had a confirmed health issue and it was very likely losing some weight to fix it. In that instance, I might try to have one brief come to Jesus with them, but if that did not work, I'd give up.

brenn24179

I have heavy friends and I could care less. I like their character and that is why we are friends. If they want to be big or small I don't care. If they want to lose weight I hope I set an example. I would not appreciate any one telling me to lose weight.

martinel2099

My best friend's GF came to me about it in a positive way. She does personal training / health promotion so for her it was an easy topic to bring up. She knew about weight watchers and recommended to me in a nice way, I never heard of it before she told me so it was good advice.

I took her advice and lost weight on WW, and now I'm here on fitness pal also at her recommendation and still doing great. If you love your friends and they love you sometimes they'll tell you things you don't want to hear. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Lives2Travel

You don't unless you're prepared to lose the friendship. People are ready to lose weight when they're ready. Not when someone else thinks they should.

peleroja

I know it's hard when you care about people to watch them not take care of themselves, but unless we're talking someone you're in a serious relationship with or an immediate family member, just don't. You don't know what they do for every meal, how they exercise, what they've talked to their doctors about....and quite frankly it's none of your business.

People get weird about health and fitness and often want to preach to everyone who will listen, but it's a great way to lose friends. Just like constantly spouting off about politics or religion, actually.

You don't have to hide what you do, and it's probably good if your friends know that you're on weight loss or fitness plan that's working, but that's all they need to know. If they want your advice or opinion, they'll ask. And then you can tell them what you're doing, but only then.

jennifer_a00

When people bring it up first saying they want to lose a certain amount of pounds I will say "hey we should do it together, I've already lost 55 pounds, I use myfitnesspal, it's free it's easy" etc. I don't really bring it up first though. Maybe you could focus on the fitness aspect more , some people respond better to that.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

earthboundmisfit

I wouldn't approach friends about weight loss unless I wanted to offend them. I know you care about your friends but the best thing you can do is set a good example.

QuietBloom

Why would you even think it was any of your business? I'm sure they know they are over weight. When they get ready to lose weight, and if the ASK your opinion, that is your queue to step up.

StaciMarie1974

I don't. Its 99.9% certain that if you bring it up, your good intentions will not be received well. Either you'll be laughed off or you'll offend someone, and they they certainly won't want to hear what you have to say.

On the other hand I am open with what I'm doing for me, if the topic should come up. If someone mentions my progress, I tell them I feel good & I'm not doing anything complicated. Just paying attention to what goes in and making an effort to be more active. Set a good example, and hope for the best. That's all you can do really.

penny0919

Are you golfing with my husband?????

kcasey155

I just put it out there that I'm losing weight and getting fit. If 'my friend' picks up on the conversation I jump right on in there with 'yeah, of course you can do it too if you want, etc. If 'my friend' dismisses the topic casually I let it go, happy that I may have started cogs turning.

Heatherybit

You kinda have to wait until they come to you. All I can suggest is try to set an example without rubbing their noses in it. If they see how well you're doing, they might see the light, and decide that they want what you have.

^THIS!

Tabata_Mt

I have no doubt that your intentions are good, but I would not say anything unless they ask for your advice. As it has already been said here earlier, there are people who are too embarrassed / uncomfortable when it comes to their own weight. I say this from experience, I have a very dear person in my life who often talked about the fact that I had to lose weight and it made me feel even worse about myself. Reached a point where I avoided seeing this person, because I did not want / was afraid of her talk about my weight.

Be very careful with it, the desire to lose weight must come from him, and when that time comes, do not be afraid to offer your help!

AmyMS86

Agreeing with most everyone.

Chances are, your friend knows he needs to lose weight, and how to do it. You telling him won't make a difference. He has to want it.

wheird

I mind my own business unless asked what I think.

sweetcurlz67

what everyone else says.

coming from experience, I had doctors tell me to lose weight. I had friends & family tell me out of love & care to lose weight. I WANTED to lose weight. it wasn't until something 'clicked' in ME (actually a major life event) when I actually started losing weight and began working hard at it. it truly has to come from within that person. no one else. that's when I started caring about myself and learning and asking. I know your heart's in the right place but you must leave it alone. or when he makes a comment, just politely tell him when he's ready, you're available for assistance if he needs it.

ew_david

I don't because it's none of my business.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

So, I guess what you're really asking is "What's the best way to lose all my friends?"...