I've lost 43lbs, and nobody has noticed.

This is my first post here but I have used the app for awhile. I am only 5'4 and since November I have gone from 176lbs to 133. I look and feel like a new person, looking at me now and old pictures make me amazed at what I have done! But it is a bit... unmotivating (I wanna keep going to 125-120) that not a single family member, coworker, nobody has said anything. My boyfriend noticed and compliments me on it... but then again... he sees me naked. Back to the point I feel like maybe my loss is not so big and that I am thinking too highly of what I have done. It makes me sad. I may post a before and after to show... but has anyone else experienced losing a lot of weight and nobody noticing? :(
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Replies

  • pleasurelittletreasure
    pleasurelittletreasure Posts: 236 Member
    People may have noticed and just don't feel comfortable saying anything. Sometimes it's okay to say to a girlfriend, "Check it out, I'm down two pant sizes!" Then they know it is okay to celebrate with you. But don't be surprised if most people are just wrapped up in their own business and didn't take note. It's okay if you are the only one reaping the benefit of your new-improved-self, right?:drinker:
  • tincusa
    tincusa Posts: 3
    So i was experiencing the same thing about 2-3 weeks ago. Feeling very unmotivated, with no one saying anything. Then i read someone elses response similar to "allyyyson's" about as long as you notice and feel better then no worries. Buuutttt, then i saw someone else post something that made me feel way better, and that was; just pull out some old waredrobe that maybe used to be a little tight but you kept it anyways then walk around in it and you will feel tons bettter at just how well it fits now. Plus you may get the added notice just because its something "new" you havent worn in a while!
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,270 Member
    You don't know if they haven't noticed...they probably have just haven't said anything...

    You do realize that by saying something they can open themselves up to things like...

    "oh so I was fat before"
    "Oh I didn't look good before"
    etc

    esp at work if you compliment a co-worker you could open yourself up to a lot of crap.

    I have yet to have any co-worker or faily say anything to me at all as well.....family actually say things to each other...and typically wait months before commenting to me personally...

    It's the family/friends who don't see me a lot that comment the most...usually AMG your half the size...which is true...

    I am not here to impress them or have them validate me in what I am doing...I am here to impress myself thanks.
  • brevislux
    brevislux Posts: 1,170 Member
    I think sometimes people aren't comfortable saying anything. At your height and weight it's impossible not to notice. But I think people don't always know if it's intentional or they don't feel they can comment on your body. Especially if you haven't told them you were working on losing weight...
    Also, maybe the clothes you're wearing don't show how much you've lost? Are you wearing a larger size?

    You can show us before and afters! :) I'm sure we'll see a huge difference! And good luck....
  • emilyisbonkers
    emilyisbonkers Posts: 373 Member
    are you wearing the same clothes?
  • JulieFinn
    JulieFinn Posts: 52 Member
    Wow, that is a nice weight loss and I bet you are looking and feeling so much better! I can't help but think your family & friends are THINKING that you are looking good - I don't see how they could not notice that kind of weight loss! However, maybe they themselves wish they could lose some weight--and sometimes when you see someone who is losing weight and looking better, well, you just feel jealous about it and don't speak up and compliment. My suggestion is to be super proud of yourself and keep enjoying your life as a more slender person...eventually, someone is going to say something, to which you'll respond, "THANK YOU!":flowerforyou:
  • ajff
    ajff Posts: 986 Member
    Agreed that some people don't know how to compliment your loss without sounding condescending. Next time you see someone that hasn't seen you in a while, notice how long they look at you. This has happened to me a lot in the past week. They don't say anything, but they almost do a double take and look me up and down. THAT is a compliment.

    An aside: I teach high school, I have a freshman boy who is really into body building and really really bad at dealing with women. Yesterday he walked up to me and gave me a high five, no reason... but I think he was trying to congratulate me. Or he's a dorky freshman boy. EIther way, I'll take it!
  • Lorichr
    Lorichr Posts: 54
    are you wearing the same clothes?

    I was wondering the same thing. People at work really started noticing when I bought some new scrubs that actually fit and didn't hang on me. (I'm a nurse.) Big clothes can really hid even a significant weight loss.

    Congrats! You have done a fantastic job; and I guarantee people will notice. :smile:
  • oChristyo
    oChristyo Posts: 61 Member
    Sometimes I think it's jealousy.
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
    This is my first post here but I have used the app for awhile. I am only 5'4 and since November I have gone from 176lbs to 133. I look and feel like a new person, looking at me now and old pictures make me amazed at what I have done! But it is a bit... unmotivating (I wanna keep going to 125-120) that not a single family member, coworker, nobody has said anything. My boyfriend noticed and compliments me on it... but then again... he sees me naked. Back to the point I feel like maybe my loss is not so big and that I am thinking too highly of what I have done. It makes me sad. I may post a before and after to show... but has anyone else experienced losing a lot of weight and nobody noticing? :(


    Sometimes people don't want to ruin your juju by making weight comments. It's a well known fact that if you want someone to stop dieting and get fat again you just tell them how thin they look.

    their motivation disappears... they relax and BOOM ten ton tessie.

    Nay I jest but there's a bit of truth in there. When you hit 120lb people are bound to comment unless they are men, or an older generation, in which case they'd consider that a personal comment, and inappropriate.
  • mtodm
    mtodm Posts: 6 Member
    Don't be discouraged. Your success is measured by you, not by others.
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,998 Member
    are you wearing the same clothes?

    I was wondering the same thing. People at work really started noticing when I bought some new scrubs that actually fit and didn't hang on me. (I'm a nurse.) Big clothes can really hid even a significant weight loss.

    Congrats! You have done a fantastic job; and I guarantee people will notice. :smile:

    People started commenting when I bought some new, slightly more fitted clothing. If you are proud of your new body, show it off. It is not antifeminist to look good.
  • FitnessLover001
    FitnessLover001 Posts: 188 Member
    Honestly, I wouldn't care if they said anything at all, because it's probably not going to be the comments you want to hear, it'll be negative comments like, "you've lost too much," or stuff like that. As long as you notice and feel good, why should you care? I know when people make compliments about you it makes you feel 100x better, trust me I love when I get compliments, but I also get the negative comments too. So I try not to even promote that I have lost weight or gained muscle or that I have dropped pants sizes, because I don't want to rock the boat lol
  • Beffo1
    Beffo1 Posts: 2
    Mentioning weight loss is a tricky subject. I guarantee that people have noticed, and they are not sure if they should say anything. They are wondering if your weight loss is intentional or due to illness, etc.
    If you are still wearing the same clothes as when you started, they are hiding your weight loss. Go out and splurge on a new outfit, new top, something that highlights the great changes in your body! I know that you don't want to spend a lot on clothes mid-weight-loss journey, but a piece or two that look great on you is worth it!
  • That is an amazing achievement ! Wow!

    It can take about 3 months on average for people to start noticing a real difference. But if people around you know you are conscious of your weight, they may be putting off saying anything because they don't know if it's positive or negative. It's fair to say we're all very proud of you!
  • ChristineinMA
    ChristineinMA Posts: 312 Member
    I've been on both sides of this situation. For myself, it took about 30 lbs lost before some of my closest friends at work commented. For coworkers who don't see me all the time, they noticed the difference right away, because the change appeared more drastic to them.

    Whether I have noticed another co-worker's weight loss efforts? Well, I commented one time about a co-worker who had lost weight who turned out to have a stomach ailment that was preventing them from eating properly - they were not real happy about the weight loss.

    When another co-worker was losing weight in preparation for bariatric surgery, I knew they looked different, I just couldn't put my finger on what was the change. A new haircut that showed more of her face? Did she have cosmetic surgery? It was when she started wearing new clothes that did not hide her figure that I was able to confirm and felt confident to say something about it.

    I've also complimented someone and tell them they look like they are losing weight and they answer sadly that they haven't lost - that feels awkward too. Or asked if someone was pregnant, and they've actually just gained weight. Most people are hesitant, in case they are wrong!
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,261 Member
    well done on your weight loss. we have lost roughly the same amount and it should 100% be visible. I like people noticing my loss so I understand what you are saying. In fact there are 3 people i know well who haven't said a word, but as people have said there are different reasons why people don't say anything.

    I hope you can see the difference in your self and just keep on doing what you need to do. very well done.
  • GothicsDarkAngel
    GothicsDarkAngel Posts: 78 Member
    My first thought, as others have posted was that people often times don't feel comfortable on pointing out weight loss (or gains for that matter).

    Good job!! If you see it, that is what matters!
  • FireOpalCO
    FireOpalCO Posts: 641 Member
    How private have you been about your weight loss? If you aren't saying anything, they aren't going to say anything. My team at work know about the weight loss and working out because they are all FitBit friends and a few of them are MFP friends. So they know it's okay to discuss. They have commented about seeing my face look thinner and my stomach flatter and cheered me when they see the weight drops posted.

    I've had other people ask about my FitBit because they noticed our little crew all wearing them. That can lead to a weight loss discussion. My in-laws all know (even though I meant to keep it private from family) because my husband went bragging to them when he saw them last about how active I've been lately.

    I think if you make some comments or put out some stuff around your desk that makes it clear that you are actively working to lose weight and you're okay talking about it, then people will want to talk to you. If they hear you talking about signing up for a 5K or see inspiration stuff by your computer, they will feel safer.
  • 130annie
    130annie Posts: 339 Member
    If I feel good, and my joints don't hurt.....I don't care if people don't notice if I've lost weight