How do you deal with a friend who ignores you?

neandermagnon

This may be a different perspective than the other responses. You refer to this person as your friend, so how are your being their friend? By giving them a deadline? Your attitude towards this person seems to be: since I am not getting what I need/want from you, I am going to get rid of you. Does that sound like the attitude that a friend would have? Perhaps there is something going on in their life. Perhaps there is something that they need to discuss with you and they are not ready to have that conversation.

So, for what it is worth, here is my recommendation. Rescind the deadline. Tell them, in one short message, that when they are ready to talk, you will be ready. Then, move on. Stop sending this person messages. Stop using third parties to check up on this person. Cut out the drama. Write them off mentally if you want to. Then, if they contact you, have an honest discussion about what happened.

I didn't give them a deadline, I never told them that. I told you guys that because that's the point where I was just going to ditch them by blocking them. But I've already blocked them. My attitude towards them, is , 'I've given you MORE than enough time, for you to respond, I've spent way too much time on you than my other friends, And I don't deserve to be ignored when I have done nothing wrong.' No way to contact now, the person is an ex-friend and blocked. I think if you ask any friend they will tell you I am a nice person, who is also struggling, like everyone in their own way, and I am loyal. So that's that.

I think you're reading too much into it.... "I don't deserve to be ignored when I have done nothing wrong" - it sounds like you think he's made a conscious and deliberate effort to ignore you... more likely he's too caught up in himself or his issues to give you that much thought, or doesn't consider you a close friend, or he's just not a very thoughtful person. I do agree that it's not really worth you putting any effort into the friendship, but the way you're talking it's like you feel he's punishing you or something... he's not. He's just lousy at staying in contact. Don't take it all so personally, and don't attribute any motives to it beyond forgetfulness and (possibly) that he wanted a romantic relationship, didn't get one and wasn't really interested in pursuing a platonic friendship.

I know it's not easy when you don't have many friends, because it means you end up wanting more from friends than they want from you, because they're juggling you with a dozen other friendships while you have only one or two. There is a danger here that you can come across as too clingy/needy, and that can really put people off. You probably need to widen your social circle and make a few more casual/just say hi and like each other's facebook statuses kinds of friends... then you're more likely to meet someone you click with as a friend and then go on to develop a deeper, more meaningful friendship. Trying to force a deeper level of friendship with someone who just wants to stay at the casual friend level doesn't work, if anything it puts the person off and harms the friendship.

And regards suicidal feelings... this isn't normal. It may be common, but only because mental health problems are common, unfortunately. I've had depression and PTSD, and recovered from them. If I started feeling suicidal again, even briefly, I'd get in touch with my counsellor/therapist right away. Everyone feels sad sometimes, everyone has to put up with various crap and difficulties in life, people who let them down, people who cause trouble etc, but suicidal thoughts isn't normal "just feeling sad" or "*kitten* happens" - feeling so crap inside yourself that you'd contemplate suicide is not something that you have to live with, even if you know you wouldn't actually go through with it. Get in touch with a therapist who can help you.

AglaeaC

From what I know, I never did anything wrong, but he started to ignore me, he would respond to another person we knew from the group, and she asked him to reply to me, he never did. It is really sad for me, because I don't make friends too easily, I am an introvert. I have basically given up on him. One thing that was said to me by our acquaintance though was that he may possibly be moving nearer to his brother, because his 'niece and nephew want him there'. I believe this is why he could be ignoring me? As I have not had a good response to a convo we had about this over text message before. However, if he is, there is nothing I can do is it? He can do what he likes, no one wants a friend to move away from them, but that is life.

How would you react, I have ditched him. I don't really think I should give him any chances, today I told him I still would consider him a friend, now I have thought about it, I am taking that back. I told him how I have been stressed about other things and even felt suicidal at one point (although I was just really upset about an argument with my parents and just having troubles right now- I would never actually commit suicide so please don't worry about that- everyone feels suicidal at some point in their lives) yet I get no reply, I mean that isn't a true friend. He has til tomorrow to reply, and if not I will tell him he is ditched.

I see the comment on everyone wanting to commit suicide at some point in their life has already been addressed; not everyone thinks like that.

The second thing I wanted to bring up is introversion. For some introverts it might be difficult to make new friends, but certainly not for all of us. Extroverts get energy from being around people, whereas I as an introvert usually begin to feel drained by people at some point. Introverts usually recharge when away from people, either by themselves completely or among just a few others. I need my alone time, though. I can be very talkative, social and open when meeting new people, though, so in my case making friends has nothing to do with introversion.

In your case I think it would be best to look at why you are so stirred/upset by the whole thing. You claim to be done with him but it doesn't sound like it. Do you think you might have difficulties meeting yet snother new person? Maybe that is where your efforts should go. I'm saying this only because of your rather cavalier approach to discussing suicide; don't get a vibe that you truly are ready to check out the way you are responding to almost all comments here.

SunofaBeach14

I ignore them right back. And then we get into a completely silent passive-aggressive ignore fest, which always ends with no communication. It's quite brutal.

DebbieLyn63

I told him how I have been stressed about other things and even felt suicidal at one point (although I was just really upset about an argument with my parents and just having troubles right now- I would never actually commit suicide so please don't worry about that- everyone feels suicidal at some point in their lives) yet I get no reply, I mean that isn't a true friend. He has til tomorrow to reply, and if not I will tell him he is ditched.

He's obligated to respond if you're contemplating suicide? That's an awful lot of responsibility to put on another person.

I recommend handling it like an adult and moving on with your life without acting like a dramatic 14 year old.

Actually, it's not. Friends are someone to actually be able to rely on.... And a true friend, replies to that.

True friends do not use emotional manipulation to get attention. If you are not suicidal, as you claim you aren't, then don't even speak of it in vain. Using that to get someone's attention is SO wrong, and is a bad road to start going down.

I agree, too much drama.