Support from your Partner

Chmarly

Hi All,

I was just wondring how many of you get support from your partner and if so what type. I only ask as mine dosn't give me any support what so ever.

Danielle8387

I am very fortunate in this department. My boyfriend loves me just as I am now. He is encouraging towards my weightloss from a health perspective, and even though he has very little weight to lose he has also changed his eating habits with me to be Paleo ("sigh, groan, paleo is stupid, blah blah")

That being said, I'm sorry you get no support from your partner, but hopefully you have been able to reach out and build a support group from other friends/relatives in your life. And of course, there is always everyone here too

Friend me if you would like!

Dawnog

Hi there, im very lucky my hubbie supports me sooo much. He is always telling me how slim I look and never moans when I go running, biking, swimming and horseriding, he even comes swimming and biking with me most times so we get us time without the kids. Im sorry your partner isn't supportive, I see you live in wales, I live about 1/2 hour away from you, add me as friend if you want, im always there to offer support ect

AsaThorsWoman

I shall underestimate the special way I appreciate that my boyfriend had these items just sitting out waiting for me to use today (because he had been using them, not as a hint I should take!): 1) body fat scale 2) tape measure 3) everything needed for bullet proof coffee and 4) keto-stix!

Yes, we diet and exercise together.

dlionsmane

So sorry to hear, I am lucky my SO has been right along side me the whole way. He appreciates that we are doing this for our health and longevity and we care enough about each other to do it together.

ladyargentum

My husband is also very supportive of my efforts. He's not in-my-face or anything as I don't do well with that, just generally telling me its great when I go out for a run and he is happy to eat whatever I eat so meal prep is no issue. For me having a supportive partner for meal prep makes it so much easier as I never have to do anything different for him for dinner. Also get the comments about changes in my body which is nice he is starting to notice them.

justcat206

Sorta. He's supportive of my eating mostly paleo, and he likes the shape I've become, but I cannot talk about weight lifting with him at all. He'll do cardio with me any time and we've tried (but failed due to childcare) to go to the gym together. But things are weird between us when it comes to lifting and I don't know why. I get the feeling that if I manage to start taking martial arts it'll be weird as well. I'm not sure why he clams up when I talk about fitness, but it happens just about every time. He's in good shape himself - runs every morning and no longer lifts but is super strong from farm stuff, so it's not a "he's not into the lifestyle" thing. ANYway - good luck figuring things out with your SO too!

sparklefrogz

I was just wondring how many of you get support from your partner and if so what type.

I do get support, but only because I've proactively let him know:
1. that I'd like support, and
2. specific suggestions of what support looks like for me right now.

Consequently he compliments my workouts and doesn't bring certain types of food I'm prone to inhaling into the house.

Before I had those conversations with him, I got no support because I was expecting him to think like a woman and read my mind about what kind of encouragement I wanted.

skinnyinnotime

Yes, he's great, listens to me go on about it all, cooks me loads of protein based meals and compliments my achievements.

CynthiaT60

Mine makes a list of what he used and how much (to the gram) when he cooks, so I can enter everything. Hard to top that! :happy:

BusyRaeNOTBusty

Um, he eats the food I buy and cook without complaining. He supported us joining a gym with a daycare even though we had access to a free gym without a daycare. He watches the kids when he can so I can go mountain biking. He was supportive when I told him I wanted to try mountain biking. He is very active and fit with in general just helps with my motivation. He doesn't care if I order a low calorie meal, or a high calorie meal when we go out to dinner. He doesn't comment if I eat dessert or not. He tells me I'm sexy all the time. I'm not really sure what else he could do to be more supportive actually.

docc30

My wife and I are doing this together, so she is very supportive. Although we sometimes eat different things for meals, it's mostly healthy food. We do cardio separately, but lift together. The only time she gets a little irritable about it is if I have lost more weight than she has.

Crochetluvr

My b/f doesn't give me any verbal support...he just lets me do my thing. He does appreciate the results and that's really the bottom line.

Amberonamission

I have had both. Last time I was trying to get healthy, my husband and daughter were a serious road block. I would do well for weeks but eventually watching and smelling the pizza and burger feasts would get me. Feeling like a stick in the mud all the time. I lost and regained 80 pounds in a year and a half.

This time, the whole family was in the same situation I was. Everyone had gained and were ready to do something about it. This has been so much easier with all of us leaning in instead of pulling apart.

melaniedsm

The primary purpose of a partner is to have that support. If you aren't getting that from him, then he is failing you. You need to have that conversation. Mine is crazy supportive. He will have dinner ready when I get home from the gym. Yesterday he was working, so I did all his Juice stuff for him. I don't mean to be judgemental, just I would never stay in a relatioinship where I wasn't getting this. I mean isn't that the point?

dakotababy

My boyfriend supports me in every way. He does like to do some forms of physical activity, but not nearly as much as I. He is often very understanding with meals, counting. He always asks me how my work-out goes and pays attention when I talk about how the scale showed a decrease in my weight!

I love him.

PinkyPan1

I have had no support from my husband. He is a man of few words and has never been one to give me an "atta girl." He has tried to sabotage my choices and has finally stopped. He has been asked twice what he thinks of my accomplishments and states he is proud of me but only to the to the person asking. He has never said a word to me personally. Does it hurt? Hell yeah... but I use his silence as my motivation. I did this on my own and I feel pretty damn proud about that.

SteampunkSongbird

I get brilliant support from my fiancé. He is happy to help me get in better shape however he can; I suffer social anxiety and going out of the house alone is normally a nightmare for me, so despite having a hip socket issue and nerve-damaged feet due to type 2 diabetes, he goes out walking with me to keep me company. He encourages me when I feel weak about my willpower to eat better, and reassures me always that he finds me beautiful now, and will continue to find me beautiful when I lose weight, or if I don't lose any more, or if I gain it back. He praises me when he thinks I've done well, and cuddles me when I think I haven't. I couldn't ask for better support, and I count myself very lucky.

Some of the posts I read on here about nasty things people hear from the person who is supposed to love them make me very sad, and I feel heartbroken for those people who have actually lost a partner because of their appearance. Everyone deserves to be valued by their partner, not insulted or mocked; someone who will deliberately make their partner feel bad about themselves, particularly about their weight which is a very sensitive nerve for most people, should be ashamed.

Alatariel75

My husband loves me just the way I am, which means he's not much good when I want him to be my cheer squad. He won't tell me not to eat something, and he will suggest take-away for dinner, or bust out the chips as a snack, but I'm fine with that. This is my thing, not his.

I've been doing this a long time and I've very much come to the realisation that you have to be your own support. It isn't fair to expect other people to change to suit your changes. That's not to say, however, that it ought to be a conflict, or that you should put up with them steamrolling you, fact is that sometimes I have to make two side-dishes for dinner, one for him and one for me, or I have to eat a Subway while he's tucking into KFC. It sometimes means that I have to man up and drag myself out of a warm bed and leave him there to go get some exercise in.

He wouldn't dream of actually discouraging me or sabotaging me and he does love the results, but he also doesn't praise my every victory or encourage me to go exercise or anything - he'd rather I was on the couch with him and that's fair enough. I made the choice to change and those choices are mine alone.

sarainiowa

My fiancé started off supportive when I was talking about this. Week one he was supportive. Week two he would ask if I logged each day and how things were going.

Week three was a turning point. I think he figured out that I wasn't going to give up, like I had so many "diets" before. Then came the comments about being happy the way I was and asking why I want to do this.

I'm on week 21 of being on MFP. All support is gone. If I even say I'm going to workout, it's usually "oh that again". At dinner, when we do eat together, he is tired of less food and it being healthy.

This journey has stressed our relationship. I've learned to find support from friends. I'd rather be healthy and happy, then miserable and fat with someone.

paymentm

My boyfriend and i met at university but since we are both at home for the summer there is over 10 hours between us (driving). I am using the fact that he is coming to visit me for Canada Day as my motivation. I haven't told him how much I've lost only that I was trying to get healthier. So now I'm hoping to lose a little bit more before his visit!

Fit_Fox88

My husband is supportive but he doesn't participate on MFP anymore. He will eat healthier meals with me but then he will snack a lot, too. I don't say anything b/c I've tried and it has done nothing so I'll let him come around again on his own. When he's marinating dinner he will weigh my portion of meat (if I remind him). He compliments me and tells me he's noticing differences in my body. But he doesn't discourage me from doing it b/c he's not on board with it.

I hope your SO comes around soon. I know it can be challenging, but stick with it! You'll feel much better in the end :flowerforyou:

Live_To_Win

What is this strange thing you call support??? None here, just me and my MFPers

Sailatsorf

When I started losing weight, I was with a guy who was totally unsupportive and refused to even so much as go for a walk with me when I asked. During that time, a friend of mine had a huuuge crush on me, even though I was at my heaviest.

And, well, now we're married. He always tells me that he thinks I'm beautiful just because I'm me, and that the reason he likes my weight loss is because of the confidence it has given me. He takes walks with me every day, eats the low fat meals I make with gusto, and of course, warns me when he thinks I might be going on a snack binge I might regret. He's my rock.

If you're with someone who doesn't support the good things you're doing for yourself, maybe you've outgrown them. You want someone you can grow with, not grow out of. I hope things change for the better for you soon!

fullersun35

Meh, I do my own thing. I don't need support from anyone else. I've got it under control by myself.

kcmcd

Yes. He's not enthusiastic about, but he doesn't complain about healthy meals. He's not coming to the gym, but adjusts his schedule if I need him to (and pays for the membership). He is (or at least acts) interested in and happy for my victories. If he wants to go to dinner he doesn't mind me choosing the place we go.

So... he's not, you know, holding my hand - but he is aware and supportive, yes. I think so.

MegE_N

My fiance more or less leaves me to my own devices on the weight loss front. As long as I'm doing well he lets me do my thing, and if I start to slip he'll drag me out for walks more or make gentle comments like 'We really need to watch what we eat'. That said, he is quick to applaud my successes.

I don't think he's too fond of the smaller portions at dinner, though. :P

AwesomelyAmber

My husband is supportive of most all things that I do to make me happier. He supported me when I was 250 pounds, he supports me now at 160.
He supports my choice to make different versions of dinner for each of us, by assisting with the extra dishes.
He supports that while he is watching tv and the stationary bike is too loud, he may need to turn up the sound.
He supports my 5K participation by asking me how it went on those rare occasions that he has something better to do than stand at the finish line (not often that he isn't there)

Support doesn't mean that he does it with me... heck, I 'support' his love of hunting... I don't do it with him. :flowerforyou:
You gotta do YOU, he's gotta do HIM. When everyone is happy, life is so much smoother.

Katleskin

My husband is an utter star. He listens to me prattle on about MFP and tries all my new recipes. He loves walking with me, though I don't think I'll ever get him in the pool (he's a cyclist). He bought me a Fitbit and a Cross Trainer (better than flowers/chocolates any day!). He's always encouraging me and is totally supportive of my goals. It's incredibly motivating to know that what I'm doing is coming from a place of positivity (getting healthy/having fun) and not because of some paranoia that he'll 'go off me' if I don't lose weight. I've never had a negative weight-related comment from him in our 14 years together. So long as I'm happy, he's happy (and vice versa). His only minor concern is that my bum will shrink so he keeps asking if I've done my squats LOL.

Whatever I lose, it's just as much down to his love and support as it is to my own hard work.

enterdanger

My hubby supports me, but isn't interested in doing a similar thing for himself. He doesn't really remark much on how I look, but he will offer to take on extra kid duties so I can go to the gym early. He'll remind me if I haven't been to the gym in a couple of days or ask me if I really want that 3rd beer.

I can tell he is playing with the idea of starting to go to the gym again, but isn't really sold. He had lost over 100 lbs before we met 8 years ago. He's kept most of it off, but did regain about 35 lbs when I had our babies. He will eat whatever I put in front of him, but frequently follows up dinner with a bowl of ice cream. lol.

runforestrun35

He tells me I am beautiful if I am fat or thin... so I never really know if he is being honest.... but I love that he will tell me I am doing great !