Support from Husbands......

Katy009

So my weight loss has been slow, but I have lost almost 7 lbs now. People have started to notice and have been telling me that I look thinner, look great, etc. Well, my husband has not said anything….and I have not really expected him to (I don’t think he would notice if I lost or gained 10 lbs), however, he came home the other day and said that the dog, YES, THE DOG, looked great and seems that she has lost some weight. Whaaaa????

Ok, my main form of exercise is walking, and yes, I take the dog with me, and yes, she has lost weight…but so have I!!!

I just want to know what you all think of that. Would you be extremely mad or just chalk it up to men? I was SO mad that I didn’t say anything about it for two days (I just stewed for a while). Now he’s giving me compliments constantly, but that’s not what I wanted. Now they don’t really mean anything. It just would have been nice to have some recognition, rather than having it go to our German Shepherd!

Katy009

So my weight loss has been slow, but I have lost almost 7 lbs now. People have started to notice and have been telling me that I look thinner, look great, etc. Well, my husband has not said anything….and I have not really expected him to (I don’t think he would notice if I lost or gained 10 lbs), however, he came home the other day and said that the dog, YES, THE DOG, looked great and seems that she has lost some weight. Whaaaa????

Ok, my main form of exercise is walking, and yes, I take the dog with me, and yes, she has lost weight…but so have I!!!

I just want to know what you all think of that. Would you be extremely mad or just chalk it up to men? I was SO mad that I didn’t say anything about it for two days (I just stewed for a while). Now he’s giving me compliments constantly, but that’s not what I wanted. Now they don’t really mean anything. It just would have been nice to have some recognition, rather than having it go to our German Shepherd!

edyta

Wow, men are strange sometimes :happy:

Don't worry too much about that. Maybe he wanted to tell YOU the compliment by telling this about your dog?? I know it sound funny but I guess women can never understand men fully, hehehe.

I know how you feel - a compliment after you say you need one is nothing. Same with me.
On the other hand, maybe you husband just loves you the way you are, no matter if you have 10lbs more/less!
Tell him how good you feel about loosing these pounds, I'm sure he'll be happy when you are :flowerforyou:

magdalune

I would be annoyed, but I wouldn't be too mad. He'll notice eventually. Heck, you can even say it out loud, "Hey, honey, I've lost 7 pounds. Isn't that great?"

When you're having trouble with someone not saying something, that's probably time to be straight-forward. Otherwise things fester and communication stagnates.

Helawat

My man told me that he won't complement me on my weight loss until he notices it. I can notice the minor things but he won't notice until there has been a drastic change in my weight like if I lost 15-20 pounds.

I wouldn't take it to heart as men are generally not as observant as females. He'll probably start dishing out the real complements when there has been a drastic change in your weight loss.

When I lost 12 pounds, which is where I'm at now, my boy finally noticed and complemented me. It took long enough but I'll take what I can get. :flowerforyou:

edyta

Just wanted to add that my boyfriend never told me I look good because I lost weight. He was telling me compliments when I was heavier and less fit and he just does the same now.
I guess these few pound don't make that much difference to man
But expect to see jealousy if other man will notice you
Remember that all you do about you health and body is FOR YOU :flowerforyou:

chiefiron

Well as a former husband and current boyfriend i can tell you from my perspective it can be a road to unhappiness to comment on your significant others waist line in either direction.

Sorry but you guys make it really hard sometimes.


Tim

Katy009

Thanks....I guess I just needed to vent a little about it and get some other view points. Like I said, I was not expecting him to say anything to begin with, but I was also not expecting the comment about the dog.....lol....thanks again!

barracudamuscle

Well as a former husband and current boyfriend i can tell you from my perspective it can be a road to unhappiness to comment on your significant others waist line in either direction.

Sorry but you guys make it really hard sometimes.
Tim

Yes I touch that subject like I stick my hand through a propeller, with a long stick and only when I want to die! My girl looks great in my opinion, yea she put on like 15 pounds since I met her but I love her all the same ( heck she loves me for some reason, I think shes blind and deaf but I can live with that!:laugh: ) I do give her compliments, maybe too much but I steer clear of any comments like that. I was telling her about this site and how ive lost 19 pounds so far and told her its great and alot easier then her note pad. She was like are you trying to hint I need to lose weight? Yea..... so I don't bring it up. She is trying on her on way so I let it be. She wants new cloths but wants to get down to her goal weight before she buys any. I think I about cut my throat by saying this to give her more motivation " I'll buy you a whole new wardrobe when you reach your goal weight " Now shes trying more and I'm thinking about putting my kidney on ebay to pay for the new wardrobe!

I wouldnt stress over him complimenting a dog, were weird and we know it, we dont always think and talk in sync trust me! Im sure he loves you the way you are, I try not to get too involved in all the weight subject just so i dont say something without thinking, i did as I said try to provide a carrot to help her, but thats as far as it goes!

Good job and keep it up!:drinker:

arubabound

LOL!!!!:laugh: Well...Chalk it up to being a man!!! They notice if the dishes havent been done or if they've run out of socks...if it doesn't affect them directly......they're just slower at noticing...that's not to say they won't eventually notice.......but sometimes you need to smack them in the face with it....like if you stood in the kitchen, and your pants fell off!!! But don't be too hard on them they really can't help it...see a women is XX and a man is XY.....now he may think it's an actually "Y" but we all know it's really a broken X......cut him some slack......and give him a roll of duct tape.....

chiefiron

LOL!!!!:laugh: Well...Chalk it up to being a man!!! They notice if the dishes havent been done or if they've run out of socks...if it doesn't affect them directly......they're just slower at noticing...that's not to say they won't eventually notice.......but sometimes you need to smack them in the face with it....like if you stood in the kitchen, and your pants fell off!!! But don't be too hard on them they really can't help it...see a women is XX and a man is XY.....now he may think it's an actually "Y" but we all know it's really a broken X......cut him some slack......and give him a roll of duct tape.....

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Tim

banks1850

The one thing you have to remember about men (trust me on this one) is that we have been beaten into submission from women about the subject of weight. Most of us really do realize that weight is a VERY touchy subject for the ladies, and to mention it, even in a positive light, can have some pretty weird effects on you girls. I know that I have tried, in the past, to comment to my wife about how thin she has looked, and gotten back in response something to the effect of "Really? I just weighed myself yesterday, I haven't lost a bit." and then she will sulk and be passive aggressive the rest of the day.

It's a slippery slope for us men, we just don't get it sometimes, and for most men, they feel safer not even broaching the subject of weight with you guys. In a guy's mind, it's a no win situation. It REALLY is up to you ladies to make sure your man knows the ice is safe to tread on before they will comment on it. Seriously, would you want to bring up a subject with your husband that has a 50/50 shot at making him mad the rest of the day, no matter how positive a spin you put on it?

I have relagated my comments on my wife's apperance to times when I know she has put an effort into looking nice and then just telling her I think she looks beautiful. It's the only safe comment I feel I can get away with these days. It's a little frustrating on our part to tell you guys the truth!

LokiFae

I agree with banks and barracuda. He's probably terrified that if he tells you you've lost weight, you'll sulk and say, "Oh, I'm actually really bloated and I went up 1/2 a pound, etc." I myself am guilty of the same thing. He was probably trying to compliment you by complimenting the dog.

BTW, congrats on 7 lbs. lost!!!

shameem

yeah i can understand ur feelings.....but mens r meant like this............................::mad: well one thing u should uenderstand....that love ur self .....just do things for ur self................and u'll b happy...............dont expect fromm n e body......................n if ur spouse is not comenting.................dont feel bad...........after marriage for men priorities changes and they start thinking abt their career more than wife...........just keep maintaining ur self in a way u r doing right now.....................best of luck

eyescatchfire

You know, I think I may be the dissenting voice on this one. My husband notices whenever I lose a pound, and he's always super happy and supportive of me. Of course, when I told him I wanted to lose weight (somewhere between 60-70 pounds) he told me not to lose "too much" !!! He's the one who is constantly reminding me of how proud he is of me, and how far I've come. While no one has noticed the 20+ pounds I've shed, my husband is convinced I'm melting! I think I'll believe him. :happy:

Of course, my husband never notices if the dishes aren't done--even if I leave them for him to do! :laugh:

sgtinvincible

Well as a former husband and current boyfriend i can tell you from my perspective it can be a road to unhappiness to comment on your significant others waist line in either direction.

Sorry but you guys make it really hard sometimes.


Tim

Yep, Chief nailed it.

jsmalla

I would be annoyed, but I wouldn't be too mad. He'll notice eventually. Heck, you can even say it out loud, "Hey, honey, I've lost 7 pounds. Isn't that great?"

When you're having trouble with someone not saying something, that's probably time to be straight-forward. Otherwise things fester and communication stagnates.

Three cheers for Magdalune! Direct communication is what it's all about. Most people aren't good mind readers. Help your hubby out. Take him out of the danger zone that some of the other guys have mentioned by following Magdalune's advice.

TamTastic

Yep, unfortunately...men just think differently than we do and notice things differently. Also, he doesn't want to get into trouble. Sometimes they just can't get it right, no matter what they say!!! Mostly because they don't mean it the way it can come out.

As I have been losing weight, as with most women....the boobs are often the first thing to go. And once I asked my husband.."Do you think they are getting smaller??"............and he said

"I am not answering that....if I say NO, then you will think I don't think you've lost enough weight for them to be smaller and if I say YES, you will say that I am so shallow to pay attention to them getting smaller."

Basically, it's a lose lose! I had to laugh though because I honestly wasn't going to be offended either way. It's just a fact!! HAHA! I said "Pete, they ARE going to be smaller, it's only normal!"..........and he finally said "Well, they are PERFECT for me!!"

PrincessLaundry

I'd be sad too!

If I want someone to notice something, and I was getting my feelings hurt, I'd work it into the conversation somehow and be more direct. Like, "Hey, ya, the dog had lost inches, but do you want to know how many pounds I've lost?" Brag about your weight to your good family an friends. They might jump on the weight wagon with you.

Your hubby might be a little jealous of your weight loss and if he admits you are doing great, it might feel like defeat to him. It's part of their *job* to tell us we look good! SERIOUSLY! Because they don't want some other guy saying it, so it's their job...or someone else will. Right? )

Anyway, my last bit of advice is to either let the hot new dog in your house sleep on the couch with him, or get ride of the dog. LOL (kidding of course!)

You are doing great, keep up the good work!

pam0206

How refreshing to get the guys' points of view on this one!

I love my dh to death, but he rarely mentions my weight (good or bad) and I guess that's good and bad. However, he does comment on my workouts, wanting to know the details there. So, I know what you're saying about your weight and obviously you're working hard to have already lost 7lbs. It would be nice to hear, "Gee, Hon, you are walking up a storm. How many miles can you walk now, etc."

So, overall, I guess I'm just empathizing. Anytime you want a high-five on your progress, post it here. THAT'S what we do. I'm more than happy to say WAY TO GO, GIRL!!!!

PrincessLaundry

Banks, I love your view on things.

After being with my husband since high school...errrr....over 19 years... He and I definitely know each other. A few years ago I was down on myself after he complimented me. He finally rightfully bluntly said, "Why do you always put a negative with me saying something good about you? It's more work to say something nice than to not recognize why I like you."

Although I was stunned...I am smart enough to think back and HOLY COW! Yelp, I did it each time he said something nice.

"Your outfit looks good hon!" my answer, "Yes, but I look like a sausage."
"Your hair looks hot!" my answer, "I need a hair cut."
"Are you loosing weight?" my answer, "No, I'm a pig."
"When did you get those shoes? They look nice." my answer, "They cost too much."

So who friggin wants to say something nice to me after that? LOL Although funny now, I think we as women/girls/ladies...are taught growing up that we aren't pretty enough, thin enough, and good enough. So if we outwardly admit our flaws, nobody else has to... We are also taught that if we let anyone know that we THINK we are good/skinny/pretty that we are show offs, or snotty. Eeek! I don't miss those days!

I now say to my husband when he compliments me, "Ya, I'm hot! It's funny. Anyway...long story made even longer...lol I love this board.