Support from Husbands......

GravyGurl

What women don't understand is, how confusing our appearance is to men. Truthfully (and i'm sure most men would agree) we wear so many diff colors and so many diff styles...we tend to get burnt out on the appeal. Wrap it however you want it. It's what's inside that counts. Lose 20 pounds and see what he says...but remember, do it for you, not for him. :flowerforyou:

tekrueger

As a now separated husband, I can say I sure wish I had been more supportive of my wife when she was losing a lot of weight over a year ago or so.
Yah, for a lot of us, for better or for worse, it just doesn't come out... It may not be easy for us but it is SOOOOO important to acknowledge things, good and bad, especially when someone is making a lot of effort....
I'd suggest you clue him in on the fact that you are making some great progress and want his support, and he can then take it from there hopefully.
- Thomas

mrsksanchez

my husband doesn't see it at all. EVERYONE else notices i've lost 24lbs in a month i guess when they see you every day it's less noticible to them kind of how we don't notice our kids growing

Meriller

Well as a former husband and current boyfriend i can tell you from my perspective it can be a road to unhappiness to comment on your significant others waist line in either direction.

Sorry but you guys make it really hard sometimes.


Tim

Meriller

Well as a former husband and current boyfriend i can tell you from my perspective it can be a road to unhappiness to comment on your significant others waist line in either direction.

Sorry but you guys make it really hard sometimes.


Tim

Oops :blushing:
New to this "quote" business!
It's true, sometimes we women can be extremely cruel by reading the worst in whatever our hubbies say, depending on our moods!

I'm definitely guilty of that!
It may be just that if he comments on how much weight you've lost, or how great you're now looking, that you'll take it as a slight towards how you USED to look...

Don't be too hard on him - I'd definitely be hurt too, don't get me wrong - but try to give him the benefit of the doubt, that he's nervous to say the wrong thing?
Just my thoughts...

fatsis

Would us men be smarter if we just said you look beautiful today and not mention weight?
Please ladies answer.

LokiFae

The short answer is...Yes.

And don't say, "I love you no matter how much you weigh." :grumble: :grumble: :grumble:

We know you mean well, but that sounds like, "Hey Fatass, drop the bagel."

sgtinvincible

Well as a former husband and current boyfriend i can tell you from my perspective it can be a road to unhappiness to comment on your significant others waist line in either direction.

Sorry but you guys make it really hard sometimes.


Tim

Oops :blushing:
New to this "quote" business!
It's true, sometimes we women can be extremely cruel by reading the worst in whatever our hubbies say, depending on our moods!

I'm definitely guilty of that!
It may be just that if he comments on how much weight you've lost, or how great you're now looking, that you'll take it as a slight towards how you USED to look...

Don't be too hard on him - I'd definitely be hurt too, don't get me wrong - but try to give him the benefit of the doubt, that he's nervous to say the wrong thing?
Just my thoughts...

I have definately been on the receiving end of a compliment taken out of context, and let me tell you, it sucks. I try to be an encourager, but once you are hit with an irrational response to 'Hey honey, wow, you look great, I can tell you have lost weight.' and she responds with, 'Oh, so you thought I was ugly before I lost a few pounds and you didn't even have the decency to tell me!' all I can respond with is.... :noway: :huh: ....

It actually *has* made me more gunshy about dropping compliments, which sucks because I really do enjoy building people up. I guess I should just get over it and keep doing it, but the above conversation has happened more than once, and from more than one lady. I just chalk it up to gender differences. *shrug* I can compliment my buddies 'Dude, you are looking awesome since you lost weight. If you were a chick I would totally kiss you on the mouth.' (:noway: )and my buddies are like 'You know it.' and I respond with 'Yep. Hey did you see that new (gun, car, motorcycle, sports team, guy conversation piece) etc...' we go on. Compliment accepted, not another thought given to it.

Just my thoughts. So, cut us some slack! Most of us want to compliment you, I mean cmon, you are women. You are beautiful, sexy, and totally better at life than most of us guys. We are blessed that you even talk to us, of course we want to make you feel good about yourselves! You make us feel good about ourselves (my ex-wife excluded, she makes me want to kill myself) and we can't find the ketchup and other stuff in the fridge without your help either! We don't always (or ever for that matter) mean the worst, so don't see it as that. :laugh:

cp005e

Most of us want to compliment you, I mean cmon, you are women. You are beautiful, sexy, and totally better at life than most of us guys. We are blessed that you even talk to us, of course we want to make you feel good about yourselves!

:laugh: I love the "totally better at life" part, Sgt! Sounds like something my husband would say.

Who, by the way, is always telling me I'm hot, beautiful, pretty, sexy, cute - pretty much everyday, regardless of my size (unless he's really upset or distracted by something else). He knows I've been working on losing weight, so he asks about my progress and is always very supportive. Occasionally he will look at me and notice something that really looks different (like if bend over he might say, "Hey, your legs are getting more definition" or if I'm wearing a smaller shirt he'll say, "Hey, you're looking slimmer".

But I can tell he's also a little careful about what he says. Like the other day, I dug out some pictures from Christmas to see what I looked like 30 pounds ago, and I said, "Look how fat I looked." He looked, paused, and said, "Huh, you do look different. Still like you, but it is noticeable." Very diplomatic!!!

fatsis

The short answer is...Yes.

And don't say, "I love you no matter how much you weigh." :grumble: :grumble: :grumble:

We know you mean well, but that sounds like, "Hey Fatass, drop the bagel."

Thanks.

I am a little scared about the bagel comment......I had one this morning and my *kitten*......well scary.

ali106

:laugh: ooo this is a good post people!!!

and I think 7 lbs is awesome and since you are already just gorgeous....you must be in real diva mode now ...so you go girl!!!

As for our S.O.'s...(slow observers) I think its just part of the Venus/Mars thing.....I tend to cut a little slack Still its nice to hear they notice....maybe do the reverse pyschology thing...like hey you look good are YOU losing weight...and maybe he'll say ah no but YOU sure are.....okay...maybe that won't work but wouldn't it be nice if it was that easy!!! lol

hugs and great job girl!
Ali

banks1850

my husband doesn't see it at all. EVERYONE else notices i've lost 24lbs in a month i guess when they see you every day it's less noticible to them kind of how we don't notice our kids growing

I use the growing grass analog. If you sit in your front yard and watch the grass grow for 2 weeks, you won't notice that it's getting long, but if you walk by it once a week, you will definitely notice. It's not that your husband doesn't care, its just that, it's hard to notice a change, when you see it changing by small amounts every day. I would suggest if you would like him to notice things like that, to show him a picture every once in a while. And by all means, LET THEM KNOW it's ok for them to mention weight to you.

abbychelle07

:laugh: That is so funny about the dog!

Anyway, most men are trained not to touch weight comments with a ten-foot pole. If I say, "Hey, look at me, I lost weight!" then my hubby comments, but otherwise he says nothing and I actually like it that way. There is less pressure.

tucker

:flowerforyou: I think that men are just wired that way. Think about this, he sees you everyday. He is "use" to you. Men do not normally see past their own noses.

My husband is just the other way. I fixed some nachos for him and thought that I would have a few chips. He gave me the riate act for even wanting any.

LokiFae

Thanks.

I am a little scared about the bagel comment......I had one this morning and my *kitten*......well scary.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: That was directed at my husband, who made the comment this morning that he loves me no matter how much I weigh, while I was eating a bagel. Butthead. :grumble:

KrisKabob

Yeah that is annoying but it's a "Man thing"... men are so... well, Ughhh!

You are probably going to have to find some way to laugh this one off! I don't know that it is about men... they just aren't very observant beings.

Take my husband for instance... When I think I look my worst he is like "hubba hubba baby!" I take my shower at night and when I'm done my hair is all slicked back and right when I'm thinking "wow, I look like a wet dog" my husband is asking me to put on red lipstick, a tight black dress, and singing "Addicted to Love!". Men are strange! But it makes me laugh! :laugh:

abbychelle07

Yeah that is annoying but it's a "Man thing"... men are so... well, Ughhh!

You are probably going to have to find some way to laugh this one off! I don't know that it is about men... they just aren't very observant beings.

Take my husband for instance... When I think I look my worst he is like "hubba hubba baby!" I take my shower at night and when I'm done my hair is all slicked back and right when I'm thinking "wow, I look like a wet dog" my husband is asking me to put on red lipstick, a tight black dress, and singing "Addicted to Love!". Men are strange! But it makes me laugh! :laugh:

Ha, ha! I totally agree that husbands can be strange. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I was SO SICK! I would be laying on the couch trying not to throw up for the 50th time, and my husband would be all over me! Can you not tell I am going to puke on you?!?!?

beep

As a now separated husband, I can say I sure wish I had been more supportive of my wife when she was losing a lot of weight over a year ago or so.
Yah, for a lot of us, for better or for worse, it just doesn't come out... It may not be easy for us but it is SOOOOO important to acknowledge things, good and bad, especially when someone is making a lot of effort....
I'd suggest you clue him in on the fact that you are making some great progress and want his support, and he can then take it from there hopefully.
- Thomas

Tell her now. No matter what your marital status, it's never too late to compliment.

fatsis

Thanks.

I am a little scared about the bagel comment......I had one this morning and my *kitten*......well scary.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: That was directed at my husband, who made the comment this morning that he loves me no matter how much I weigh, while I was eating a bagel. Butthead. :grumble:

lol

5KNohno

[/quote]
and we can't find the ketchup and other stuff in the fridge without your help either! We don't always (or ever for that matter) mean the worst, so don't see it as that. :laugh:
[/quote]

:laugh: Have you been to my house?? My husband can not find ANYTHING in the fridge without me!:laugh: