Cut the negativity and welcome change
Replies
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I'm in to learn more about how to cure my depression through willpower and supplements.
Can be done. First step is to realize that depression is NOT you. It is a chemical reaction in the body that makes you feel depressed or anxious. Exercise and finding the right healthy diet makes a huge difference in getting balanced.
Good luck.
I agree but this idea won't be well received by those who refuse to take responsibility for themselves. Exercise and diet can have a significant impact on psychological and physical well being!
This statement will not be well received by anyone with any understanding of, background in, or experience with mental health issues.
I nominate it as The Most Ignorant Statement On MFP 2014.
:explode: x10000000000 -
Thanks for sharing this perspective today. I am trying to really enjoy my work out times and all that.0
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Wow.
ETA: I'll just make sure to tell my brain chemistry to get it together and take personal responsibility. Good one, dude.0 -
one of the best cures for depression can be exercise. I suffer from depression myself, and its something you'll live with for the rest of your life. but that does not mean you can blame it on your short comings. happiness comes from within, and the only way to change something is to actually make a change in your life. you may not choose your depression, but you CAN choose to wake up and face each day with a positive attitude and really try your absolute best. the day I changed my diet and exercise was the day my life changed. it taught me to be patient because if you do your best and focus, you can achieve anything!0
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I'm in to learn more about how to cure my depression through willpower and supplements.
Can be done. First step is to realize that depression is NOT you. It is a chemical reaction in the body that makes you feel depressed or anxious. Exercise and finding the right healthy diet makes a huge difference in getting balanced.
Good luck.
I agree but this idea won't be well received by those who refuse to take responsibility for themselves. Exercise and diet can have a significant impact on psychological and physical well being!
This statement will not be well received by anyone with any understanding of, background in, or experience with mental health issues.
I nominate it as The Most Ignorant Statement On MFP 2014.
Many, many, many people LOVE to take those pills....and to do nothing else.0 -
You are the only one who can change whatever is bothering you....
As they say: be the change you want to see......0 -
Everyone is at a different place in their journey we are all here for the same reasons.
Here is something that someone sent to me this week that gave me a huge push in the right direction - it was not meant for my weight issues it was meant about life in general.... The person in my life did not want to hurt me but felt I needed a reminder that I had a choice of how I deal with things that happen in my life.
I was definitely playing the Role of a Victim!!
Read on if you want food for thought - don't read if your going to take it personally....
Do you know what role you are playing?
When we are playing the role of a victim, we develop the delusion of being on moral high ground as a result of having unjust suffering inflicted upon us.
To be a VICTIM is look out the window of who did something to us and who can be blamed. Victims don’t look inward at the personal role they play in their situations, events or relationships.
Victims feel it is a good way to attract sympathy, attention, and get them off the hook.
It becomes easy to invent a victim story. “Poor me…They did it to me again.” With a good victim story, people assign fault and blame and spend lots of time suffering.
When we are being a victim, we ask…
“Why did this happen to me? Whose fault is it?
Who can I blame?”
This can be a compelling position for some as it keeps them in denial, induces guilt, feeds their low self-esteem and transfers blame to others.
A much more effective approach is to see the circumstances and accept them as they are and ask:
“Now what? Given that this is so, what am I going to do?”
“How did what I did or didn’t do play a critical role in the events turning out as they did?”
Signs of victim behavior…
Ø Procrastinate, not keep agreements, and invent terrific stories to explain why it wasn’t my fault.
Ø Victims tend to complain without a possible solution attached
Ø Victims blame others and point out their faults
Ø Victims often see things a half empty and express negative feelings or thoughts
Ø Victims suffer from all of life’s problems, become easily confused or frustrated, and already think they know everything.
Since I read this small things in my life have changed - how I looked at my circumstances, how I chose to talk to and treat my husband, how I ate, how I tracked, how I worked out, how I slept... and how little wine I needed - LOL
I hope this helps someone out there!
Happy Friday!0 -
You have some good points. That being said many of us have gone through a plethora of programs. Real life is not like advertisements. I would agree a good attitude helps. But in order to stay at that level, everyone needs support. This is not easy. And people who don't deal with this issue really don't understand. Our society has become very judgmental which is why boards like this are necessary. Perhaps those negative comments are really people asking for help. Perhaps they don't know how to ask for help.
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Everybody has issues. I'm sorry that you felt the advice was unwanted, but judging from your picture, you didn't need it to begin with.
OP really? Talk about negativity... you know not how that person got so fit...or where they started.... judge much0 -
I don't like threads where the original poster tells everyone else what they're doing wrong. It is indicative that their focus is on external things that are out of their control, rather on internal things that they can control.
What true words of wisdom!!!
Amen.0 -
I'm in to learn more about how to cure my depression through willpower and supplements.
Can be done. First step is to realize that depression is NOT you. It is a chemical reaction in the body that makes you feel depressed or anxious. Exercise and finding the right healthy diet makes a huge difference in getting balanced.
Good luck.
:huh: Depression is NOT a chemical reaction. Don't quit your day job Einstein.0 -
I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I FEEL heavy when I walk, sit,....breath. People just say, "YOUR NOT FAT! YOUR CURVY!" ...thats not the point though. The point is to feel comfortable in your own skin and be healthy.0
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I'm in to learn more about how to cure my depression through willpower and supplements.
Can be done. First step is to realize that depression is NOT you. It is a chemical reaction in the body that makes you feel depressed or anxious. Exercise and finding the right healthy diet makes a huge difference in getting balanced.
Good luck.
I agree but this idea won't be well received by those who refuse to take responsibility for themselves. Exercise and diet can have a significant impact on psychological and physical well being!
Are you a scientologist by chance?0 -
I'm in to learn more about how to cure my depression through willpower and supplements.
Can be done. First step is to realize that depression is NOT you. It is a chemical reaction in the body that makes you feel depressed or anxious. Exercise and finding the right healthy diet makes a huge difference in getting balanced.
Good luck.
:huh: Depression is NOT a chemical reaction. Don't quit your day job Einstein.
At the risk of adding fuel to the fire. As far as Im aware there isnt a precise disease model for depression. But chemical imbalance is pointed to as a highly probable cause in at least some, but not all modeling.0 -
I love this ^, so true!0 -
I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I FEEL heavy when I walk, sit,....breath. People just say, "YOUR NOT FAT! YOUR CURVY!" ...thats not the point though. The point is to feel comfortable in your own skin and be healthy.
OMG yes! I say this all the time and it is like I am talking to a wall (the be comfortable in your own skin part - not the you're not fat you're curvy part) because people have said that to me. I am like that is great that you think that but I have to be the one who is in here and I am not comfortable as I am. And that is why I am trying to change that - for myself.0 -
I don't like threads where the original poster tells everyone else what they're doing wrong. It is indicative that their focus is on external things that are out of their control, rather on internal things that they can control.
I don't think the op is telling everyone what they're doing wrong at all, she's expressing a general frame of mind and how when she changed hers that her weight loss suddenly became a lot easier. And then she gives a little cheer at the end. Nothing wrong with that.
That was my take on OPs Post also.0 -
I don't like threads where the original poster tells everyone else what they're doing wrong. It is indicative that their focus is on external things that are out of their control, rather on internal things that they can control.
I don't think the op is telling everyone what they're doing wrong at all, she's expressing a general frame of mind and how when she changed hers that her weight loss suddenly became a lot easier. And then she gives a little cheer at the end. Nothing wrong with that.
That was my take on OPs Post also.
I guess I got distracted by the OP's use of the pronoun "you" along with relatively specific instructions about what should and should not be done by "you" and "yourself".0 -
I completely agree, the power of positive thinking goes a long way in life (weight loss included)! What you think about you bring about! And the body achieves what the mind believes!0
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I think people's response to OP's message shows each person's attitude and perspective in life. No one is wrong, and we DO all need support. Everyone is going through a different stage in life. My clinical depression is alleviated through medicine and therapy combined. This helped me with having a positive attitude and taking responsibility for my actions. We all judge, to some extent or another. And I've been at a point in my life where I will be negative and take things personally. Then I probably will still get that way from time to time. The thing I strive for is to be at a place where I can be positive and encouraging to others as well as myself. It's hard sometimes, but I have it in me to do it. I hope everyone can get to that point where they are happy most of the time. I gained most of my weight through the medicine I'm on, but I think if I reign in my craving to eat everything that looks good, I will get to a healthy weight again. I went through a time of blaming my medicine, but working with my Dr., we were able to dial back some of the medicine that was putting on the weight gain to a reasonable amount, and I am on my way towards getting healthier and happier, clinical depression be damned!0
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I don't get it.....0
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I get that too...."you just had a baby 3 months ago"! yes I did, that does not mean much right now to me though. I know I will lose the weight, but I feel gross non the less!0
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I've seen that a lot with the new profiles. They put out so much negative energy out there they end up getting discouraged easily and quit.0
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I thought this was going to be a post ranting about when people with experience give tough love in the forums. It was refreshing to read your post and I completely relate. Staying positive absolutely has made my weight loss and maintenance feel effortless. I even feel like a fraud when people say, "you've worked so hard," because it hasn't felt that way.0
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I'm in to learn more about how to cure my depression through willpower and supplements.
Can be done. First step is to realize that depression is NOT you. It is a chemical reaction in the body that makes you feel depressed or anxious. Exercise and finding the right healthy diet makes a huge difference in getting balanced.
Good luck.
:huh: Depression is NOT a chemical reaction. Don't quit your day job Einstein.
At the risk of adding fuel to the fire. As far as Im aware there isnt a precise disease model for depression. But chemical imbalance is pointed to as a highly probable cause in at least some, but not all modeling.
Though some argue that the chemical imbalance thing is to sell more anti-depressants e.g. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8138893.stm
All I know is that I beat psychotic depression with a simple visit to Holland and Barrett. If I can do it, so can you. Pull yourself up by the boot straps and all that.0 -
It may seem difficult to get into a positive mindset. Coming from a background of depression I can totally understand. However, it is necessary for any real changes to occur in life.
I hope this helps. Most of all, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. Other people can believe in you all they want, but until you believe in yourself and your ability to change your life nothing will happen.
I think you are right.
I see a lot of people putting themselves down or engaging in negative self talk. Sometimes we are our own worst critics and that doesn't help our cause to be healthier or reach our desired weight. Self belief can take us a long way to success.
I think you may get some flak for your OP as it will probably get misconstrued as a "mean posters" thread however. Brace yourself for idiocy...
Ive left several targeted "groups" because of this type of thing here. Yes, Im over weight and yes I need to lose weight...and I will. What I struggle with here are a couple things.
I have a lot of trouble coming into MFP, belonging to any group who has maybe 10 or 15 members who talk about virtually nothing except self loathing, how fat they are, how they hate or dont like themselves, how they cant find clothes to fit because they're so fat and ugly etc etc etc. Continuous talk about all the things they CAN'T do because of their weight, how awful they feel every day or the snide remarks made etc. I understand that you can feel that way from time to time, but I also know that it's that very attitude that can and often will undermine your weight loss. Its not healthy to dwell so efficiently on the negative.
It's much the same as focusing on all the negative nasty comments, insults and mean things that have been said to you over the years. Im sure it hurts but it begs the question of....WHY would you choose to carry that type of thing with you? NO one ANYWHERE can MAKE YOU FEEL ANYTHING. How you react to something someone else says is YOUR choice. Allowing it (them) to continue is the first mistake, holding on to what they said is the second one and rehashing it at a later date is the third.
DUMP it AND them (if they continue) and move on. Even at my VERY heaviest..which was uber overweight :blushing: I didnt hate me, I always dressed nice, took care of myself, showered, did the hair and make up etc. I didnt, dont and refuse to use negative self talk. I dont hate myself. I dont self loath as it seems so many do. I didnt get overweight by living a rosey self contained in a bubble type lifestyle granted. I dealt with major depression for a lot of years. I suffered extreme PTSD(D). I was heavy into cutting, suffered flash backs, had over 30 surgeries repairing damage done over the years as a child and young adult. AND STILL....I dealt with it and moved on, took control, changed my lifestyle, raised awesome children et al.
No matter who you are or what your past has been...you CAN change, take control, be better than what was and have a riot going in to what will be. Stop the negativity and self loathing. I hate the fact that Im overweight but I dont hate me and wish you wouldnt either.0 -
I have found some really good things in this thread from just about everyone. I think that 99% of the people here would not be on MFP if they didn't want to make a change. Some people have more "tools" to do it than others.
I really like how the them of "self responsibility" keeps bubbling up!0
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