Helpless and Hopeless.

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Replies

  • Archon2
    Archon2 Posts: 462 Member
    Tonya, I agree it is tough getting the will needed to make a long lasting or even permanent change. Most people here are dealing with the same kinds of issue. I agree with another poster that said to just get in the habit of at least logging faithfully and accurately. Then eventually move on to restricting calories. This website and app make it so easy to keep track!

    Also, you mentioned a habit with regular soda. Now a lot of people won't agree with me, but I think diet sodas are good if you already have a habit with those drinks. Then work on replacing with water over time. :)
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    How do I change my habits? I did good for the first couple weeks but I fell off (as I normally do). I have no sense of portion control. I tend to binge eat with instant remorse. I am a complete emotional eater...I always have been. I drink soda and I think I'm addicted lol I hate that girl looking back at me in the mirror!! It's starting to take a toll on me mentally and this is taking a toll on my relationships. I feel helpless and hopeless! Has anyone felt like this? How did you push yourself? What was your breaking point? Please help....I can't live like this anymore. I need to shed my "fat suit" Skinny Tonya is screaming inside!

    There is no skinny Tonya. There is just you and your next choice. You are the sum of each choice you make over a day, over a week, over a year.
  • Archerychickge
    Archerychickge Posts: 606 Member
    Iwas the same way... I had no idea how much I was actually eating until I started tracking it. Here's what helps me stay on track (for the most part because, lets face it, we are all human and we slip occassionally. Remember don't beat yourself up when you slip, learn from it and move on... you can do it)

    I keep three things handy at all times. An adjustable measuring cup, and adjustable measuring spoon, and a digital kitchen scale. Seriously. Weigh or measure everything you eat. be dilligent about it. You will be surprised at how much 1/2 cup of rice really is, and how filling 1 cup of broccoli can be... Make sure you reward yourself. 1/2 cup of low fat ice cream only runs about 100 calories depending on the brand you get, and can really be satisfying.


    Whatever you do though, don't beat yourself up. You can do this, just take it one day at a time. If you need to, just take it one hour at a time. Before you know it, you'll have lots more successes than slips and you'll be forming good habits that become second nature.

    Now, go look in the mirror and say three words.... "I LIKE ME!" over and over. ;)
  • SoCoN8iv2
    SoCoN8iv2 Posts: 1 Member
    Tonya, I've been where you are. It all seems so incredibly big. And because we want so desperately to make all the changes at once we jump in with both feet and it overwhelms us. So start small. Pick one healthy habit at a time. Don't eat breakfast? Start by eating something in the morning. If it's super healthy, great! If it's a bowl of corn pops, that's okay too. Just plan for it. Don't make all the changes at once. It's too scary and you'll slide and the cycle begins again.

    DON'T beat yourself up for "being bad" and don't reward yourself too much for "being good." There is no such thing as being bad or being good. There's just being healthy. If you eat the brownie, then make sure it's the best dang brownie you ever ate. Savor the flavor, the texture, every single bite. Then let it go and get back to healthy food. Don't beat yourself up for slipping. Don't obsess over what you did wrong because you can't make it not have happened. Just keep your eyes forward and plan out the next meal. Keep healthy snacks in your bag with you at all times so you don't get caught off guard.

    There is no perfect path to this. We're all struggling and we all have off days or meals. We all have our vices. The key is tracking it and making better choices. And NOT beating yourself up. I know it's cliche but this is a marathon, not a sprint. You'll do great and when you feel weak or afraid, come here. Let this group of people be your support. :-)
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    How do I change my habits? I did good for the first couple weeks but I fell off (as I normally do). I have no sense of portion control. I tend to binge eat with instant remorse. I am a complete emotional eater...I always have been. I drink soda and I think I'm addicted lol I hate that girl looking back at me in the mirror!! It's starting to take a toll on me mentally and this is taking a toll on my relationships. I feel helpless and hopeless! Has anyone felt like this? How did you push yourself? What was your breaking point? Please help....I can't live like this anymore. I need to shed my "fat suit" Skinny Tonya is screaming inside!

    There is no skinny Tonya. There is just you and your next choice. You are the sum of each choice you make over a day, over a week, over a year.

    Yup. This...

    And I'm just gonna leave this here...

    Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.
    -Wayne Dyer

    It's about moderation not deprivation. There are no good/bad foods, only bad eating habits. Do or do not, there is no try. You have to want it, you have to work for it, you have to realize that only you can do it.

    Read these:
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1235566-so-you-re-new-here?hl=so+you're+new+here

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1217573-so-you-want-to-start-running

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/974888-in-place-of-a-road-map-2k13

    TL:DR the link right above this one then ->http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/975025-in-place-of-a-road-map-short-n-sweet

    Excuses??? http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2014/06/02/the-no-excuses-play-like-a-champion-challenge/

    If you have 75+ lbs to lose 2 lbs/week is ideal
    If you have 40-75 lbs to lose 1.5 lbs/week is ideal
    If you have 25-40 lbs to lose 1 lbs/week is ideal
    If you have 15 -25 lbs to lose 0.5 to 1.0 lbs/week is ideal
    If you have less than 15 lbs to lose 0.5 lbs/week is ideal

    Want to lift heavy things?
    http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/

    Stronglifts Summary
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/560459-stronglifts-5x5-summary

    Stronglifts Womens Group
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/4601-stronglifts-5x5-for-women
  • kethry70
    kethry70 Posts: 404 Member
    Everything Grace said right above me an one more thing to read:
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/graceisjinxed/view/just-stop-669606
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    I didn't have a breaking point. I had an "aha" moment.

    That moment when I realizing that I deserve to be more than a fat, frumpy, unfit, dowdy and dumpy 50 year old woman. I wanted much more than that out of life. I was ready to make some changes in my life, and I did. No more excuses or complacency.
    Since then I lost 50lbs and there's no stopping me.
  • heybales
    heybales Posts: 18,842 Member
    Start with small changes- they feel less overwhelming at the time. I weigh and measure all of my food because my eyes always wants more than my stomach needs. you can do this =)

    This.

    Pick the lowest hanging fruit, the easiest goal first, so you can look back when needed and remind yourself you reached that one.

    Perhaps drop the pop, as empty calories that may have more of a sugar effect on you (very possible if overweight).

    Either go diet if that is realistic, or cut back at same time with diet, or flavored water with caffeine, ect.

    Spend several weeks with that while you follow advice to log everything. Make loss amount realistic too, like 1 lb weekly as recommended.

    Perhaps next step, if sugars really hit you hard and make you get low blood sugar and feel hungry when not and crave more.

    No snacks or meals that are only or predominantly simple refined carbs in breads. No bagel for a snack, no bowl of high sugar cereal, no toast and butter. If the bread is after you've eat protein and fat, fine, if you have the calories for it.

    And while this is going on, make you list of why you fail.
    Eat that tub of ice cream? Why did you buy it? Can you buy small ice cream cups and just eat one? Must you avoid because of no self-control?
    Did you run through fast food place and order too much and the wrong stuff? Why was that only option? Did you not pack a desired lunch? Did you wait too long for a meal and then weren't thinking? Why late?
    Ect. Make that list and keep on fridge and in car in big words to stare at.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    Everything Grace said right above me an one more thing to read:
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/graceisjinxed/view/just-stop-669606


    Awwwwww. I :heart: you
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    Also, weight is just as mental as it is physical. You said your an emotional eater (I am too) I sought out counseling and it has done wonders for me. Just a thought.

    Oh and I picked up a barbell and heavy weights and fell in love.
  • ninav1980
    ninav1980 Posts: 514 Member
    Start with small changes- they feel less overwhelming at the time. I weigh and measure all of my food because my eyes always wants more than my stomach needs. you can do this =)


    small changes!! I hired a PT in January and of course he wanted me to go 100% and cut out this and that. I looked at him and smiled. baby steps for this gal. Let me tell you, it has worked. It took a while to get into the routine, and to figure out what foods are more filling than others with low calories and high protein (or whatever goals you have in mind). I always had mess ups, always, lol. Not anymore though. Once you start seeing results its hard to give up all that sucess. I would say it took about 2 months for me to get my act together and be fully committed.
  • heybales
    heybales Posts: 18,842 Member
    Here is good motivation series to listen to regarding compliance.

    It's from the perspective of the smart trainer motivating the customer, but it still applies, you can still get something valuable out of it - if willing to.

    Nobody can give you desire and willingness.

    http://www.exrx.net/People/Berardi/Compliance1.html
  • dsm1991
    dsm1991 Posts: 156
    Get a diary and write down ur goals. Make small changes, make adjustments along the way and if you mess up its okay. Learn to forgive urself. Good luck
  • dcnemesis
    dcnemesis Posts: 31
    I feel very similar to you. Commit again - don't give up. When you see results, it will help you continue. I started so many times and I never got results in the first month to be honest I don't know why but being female our bodies are resistant to change!
    Our hormones are like....stay fat woman!!! So remember that and keep pushing it :)

    Did you know they pump pigs with estrogen to make them fatter and have more meat to sell ? We are full of estrogen so it isn't even fair. Just think about how much you want it. And think if I can eat healthy and withstand the stress and pressure of not giving in for hours...you will lose the weight you wanted to lose for years!!!!

    P.S.- Is it diet soda we are talking about? If not switch to and boom pounds will comeoff. I'm assuming it is diet, if so, I am also addicted and I have been pretty much obese and underweight and I drank the same amount of diet soda either way! So diet soda is likely not the enemy.

    edit: just read your reply on the first page I missed that before and I wanted to say I come from a family of overweights and I grew up eating fastfood 6xweek...you can do this!!!! :D

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