There is No Such Thing as Willpower (or Lack Thereof)

Gershwyn

I'm noticing that a few of my fellow MFPs are attacking their diet and excercise habits while also stating (in different ways) that they will have a hard time sticking to a diet or working out because they have no willpower.

Some folks like to think of willpower as some invisible force over which they have no control... they believe that some innate force is keeping them from being able to resist the temptation to eat, or skip the elliptical trainer for the day.

The good news is, in reality, there is no such thing as willpower.

When you open the fridge door and slam your head face-first into that chocolate cake and inhale it, it's not because you're in thrall to some powerful internal or external force. A lack of willpower didn't put that cake in your stomach.

No, you ate the cake because you were truly hungry, or just craving food, or emotionally eating... AND because you were willing to sacrficie your long-term goals (i.e. losing weight, getting toned) for a short-term pleasure (chocolate cake).

Which is fine, by the way. You're a big boy / big girl -- you can sacrficie long-term goals for short-term pleasures all you like. And, hey, who is going to argue about how good chocolate cake tastes? Not me.

But, if you're serious about losing weight, you're going to need to somehow re-wire your brain so that the long-term goals OUTWEIGH the short-term pleasures. No pun intended.

Until you do, the short-term temptations will always win.

And how do you re-wire your brain? Well, everyone needs to find their own "best method". Some people can meditate on what they will look like when they have reached their long-term goal. Others can imagine the years they are adding to their lives. Others can picture doing something that they currently can't do because of their size or weakness.

Whatever it is, however you visualize your long-term goal, you have to train your brain to always have it in focus, so when a short-term temptation comes along, you will HAPPILY turn away from it, because you understand fully why you need to make that sacrifice.

And then you will have no need for what you used to call "willpower", because you'll have cranial fortitude instead. And cranial fortitude can apply to a lot more than just dieting.

MaryBeth1989

Nicely put. This is def something I need to keep in mind.
Thank you very much. :]

Aeriel

Well said!

SandraMay1982

there is no spoon.

great analogy.

just like normal. It's relative. therefore what's normal to you is not normal to me, so there's no such thing as normal. What is will power to someone else, may be just common sense to another. So on and so forth.

amg_89

The "willpower" excuse is such an easy trap to fall into. It does take strength and a mental awareness to say no to overindulging. However, we all have that ability. No fully developed person has less mental awareness than any other. Each day we make out own decisions. So each day we can make the decision to be healthy. Thank you for reminding us all to be accountable for ourselves

angelfish53

Very nice article. Especially nice reading it because it is a man's point of view. We women are emotional creatures and while that is usually a good thing, it can also be a hindrance in that we "use" it to protect ourselves from reality. As in blaming "willpower" for our inability to stop shoving food in the pie hole. I have been on the heavy side most of my life and I am trying to change the way I eat and think and your article was a help to me. So far (11 weeks/22 lbs) I am doing good - but a little worried about the holidays coming up. I do use the visualization you mentioned - all of it, how I will look, what I will be able to do, how it will add to my life (if a falling meteor doesn't get me) and it is very helpful. I've also tried to stop whining and just get on with it. Thanks for the article, good luck with your weight loss.

Bluediesel

AWESOME!!! I forwarded this to all my WILL POWER FREAKS at work lol! Great Blog!

LOVEsummer

I dig this

lotusfromthemud

Or, as my grandma used to say, "can't lives on won't street" in other words, whenever you say you "can't" you mean you "won't." You're always the one in control.

Grandma (god rest her) was so smart.

islandnutshel

Well put.

"There is no spoon"

I liked that too:)

NatalieWinning

Well said. Conditioning helps me, too. The more I eat smaller and better, the more I feel like crap when I overdo it or eat crap. Then I realize it wasn't worth it for the next time. Driving past McDonalds makes me say bleh, now, instead of why not "I deserve it"?

HIzara

Agreed. It's all in the mind.

TK266

I lost the willpower to read this whole thread :laugh: :laugh:

GiGi76

Totally Agree with you!!! ;-)

suzukigrl

hmm, you've got something there. i think if we stop looking at the occasional engorgement on cake as a reason to bring everything to a slamming halt, it may be an accomplishment in itself. this is not an all or nothing venture. take the ups and downs but keep going. who said eating that chocolate cake was a mistake? eat it, be accountable for it and move on. good point, sir.

CricketKate

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I used to have people tell me all the time that it was fine for ME to give up sugar, but they just couldn't give up their ice cream or chocolate or white flour. In my mind I would always say "you mean you won't give it up" but I never had the courage to say it out loud.

bjgdal

I've found this site

http://www.successconsciousness.com/index_000006.htm

that talks about will power and self discipline and its very good and I think helpful.

Fancyfit

Well now, that's FOOD for thought.....and even with a little rain going on right now, I'm still smilin. I did stress eat a little today and your blog brought me back to reality. Thanks

Gershwyn

The technique I describe -- making long-term goals carry more weight than short-term pleasures -- is a simply psychological trick anyone can do. It's called re-framing. Science is only now beginning to discover the amazing plasticity of the human brain, and re-framing is a very basic way anyone can change how they think about something.

There's a weird, emotional heft to the word "willpower" in our society. When we claim that something "requires willpower", we are really saying that it will be difficult. But is it always? It is often repeated that weight loss "requires willpower", but is that everybody's experience? It hasn't been mine. In terms of counting calories and working out, it only seems to require some math.

Calories in, calories out. And MFP does that part for you.

For some people, weight loss "requires willpower". Some people sweat and obsess about the chocolate cake in the fridge, or the one down the street at the Dairy Queen, and nearly lose their minds. But do they really need to? Have they perhaps become a victim of the word, and made their weight loss experience a sort of self-fulfilling prophesy of misery?

What if losing weight, eating healthy, and following a balanced exercise routine isn't really as hard as our society believed? What if it didn't "require willpower"? What if we looked at it not as a sacrifice, but as an experience that was itself fulfilling and joyful?

I think most people can do this, if they can manage the simple trick of constantly keeping their long-term goals in focus... and re-framing their weight-loss experience.

And, just in case anyone is wondering, I do have temptations. All the time. My wife makes the most amazing crunchy almond-butter cookies you can imagine. And I've been known to have a few. But whenever I think about burying my face in the tray of them, I just think about what I really want.

And, well, <shrug> I want washboard abs -- washboard abs so hard and so chiseled I could wash sweaters with them down by the river. Filling my face with almond cookies isn't going to achieve that goal (and I remind myself of this goal so often that it is just as real to my brain as the cookies), so I walk away from the cookies with no angst or remorse.

In a very real way, I have given more weight to the long-term goal, so it has enough gravitational pull to yank me away from the short-term temptations. No grief, no tears... just gravity.

lilRicki

I really enjoyed the technical terms you've used in your argument. As a student for the past 7years (turned boring secretary) I still thrive on proof. You're right about self fulfilling prophecies...if every time I saw a piece of cake and think "I'm going to cave because I'm not strong enough" then chances are I will cave. I have a strong power of mind, that's why one of my favorite quotes is "fake it until you believe it". I don't believe in willpower either, it's just used as an excuse. I believe in behavioral therapy, rewards, repetition, and conscious of your negative self talk because lets face it, it's easier to ignore another human than it is your own thoughts. Thanx for the great read...

Gershwyn

You're welcome. I hope it helps a few people to lose weight painlessly.

Learning more and more about consciousness and self-awareness are one of my weird hobbies. I'm an artist, but I just adore the brain. I find it amazing how much stock us humans tend to put in our own thoughts, especially negative self-talk. It's like we've never considered the possibility that those voices of self-doubt and criticism are lying.

lilRicki

You're welcome. I hope it helps a few people to lose weight painlessly.

Learning more and more about consciousness and self-awareness are one of my weird hobbies. I'm an artist, but I just adore the brain. I find it amazing how much stock us humans tend to put in our own thoughts, especially negative self-talk. It's like we've never considered the possibility that those voices of self-doubt and criticism are lying.

Oh dear, I'm a psych major (emphasis on relaxation therapy)...it's not a weird hobby for me, it's worth my tuition lol I love behavior management, it makes so much sense to me. I also buy into Reiki and meditation, I didn't think it worked until I took a course in Reiki, and I'm now a believer, even if it's in my own head. The thought of changing my energy and thought patterns is fascinating...i can believe what ever I want and it's real (to me)...it's amazing to me that it's just as easy to say "i can do it" as it is to say "i can't do it" but the affects of those simple statements are HUGE!

SandraMay1982

Otherwise known as "Cognitive Behavioural Therapy" by your doctor.

I once had a guy say to me (while I was on a high dose of antidepressants) "Just think you are happy and you will be happy". Back then I could have stabbed him with a spoon in his face. But. To some extent (he was rather simplistic) he was right. You have to change your pattern of thinking. Many people say "people tell me it's all in my head" and guess what? Your thoughts, your feelings, your depression, your anxiety, your willpower, ALL of it IS IN YOUR HEAD. You just have to re-program yourself to think and feel better, food is one thing, depression and other medical issues are a bit deeper and take a lot longer to visualise (took me 5 years).

Anyway. My rant's done *L*
I like the Matrix because there really is no spoon and it's all in your head, you can control your own destiny.

diverdi

Great post and so true. You can apply this to so many things, stopping overeating/drinking/smoking or any other negative behaviours.

HealthyChanges2010

bump

sherry_80

bump

Gershwyn

I got bumped! <blush!> :blushing:

HealthyChanges2010

I got bumped! <blush!> :blushing:

:laugh: It works that way...nice way to kick it over to 'my topics' for a later read

PJilly

And bump-worthy it is, indeed!

PJilly

There's a weird, emotional heft to the word "willpower" in our society. When we claim that something "requires willpower", we are really saying that it will be difficult. But is it always? It is often repeated that weight loss "requires willpower", but is that everybody's experience? It hasn't been mine. In terms of counting calories and working out, it only seems to require some math.

This line of thought applies equally well to quitting smoking. I quit, finally, after many years of smoking, Afterward, it occurred to me I could have stopped much sooner if only I hadn't believed it would be too difficult.

Gershwyn

This line of thought applies equally well to quitting smoking. I quit, finally, after many years of smoking, Afterward, it occurred to me I could have stopped much sooner if only I hadn't believed it would be too difficult.

I found the exact same thing. In the end, the power the cigarette had over me was nothing compared to the power I had given the cigarette over me.

This can actually be demonstrated. I once took a 6-day canoe trip in the wilds of Northern Ontario. At the end of day 1, I ran out of cigarettes. But, knowing I was in the middle of nowhere and could do nothing about it, the pangs of withdrawal were almost unnoticeable. However, when we finally landed in civilization, the cravings returned with a vengeange -- some 5 days after I had escaped the physical addiction.