Jokes Thread - Post Up!!

Train4Foodz
Train4Foodz Posts: 4,298 Member
in Chit-Chat
Post up your jokes.. no matter how corny or daft... Jokes are jokes XD
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Replies

  • shannonkw2013
    shannonkw2013 Posts: 9
    "Knock !knock!"
    "Who's there?"
    "Doctor."
    "Doctor Who?"
    "Yes it's me!"

    :P
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?

    Pull the pin and throw it back!
  • PinkyFett
    PinkyFett Posts: 842 Member
    http://www.sadanduseless.com/2013/05/drunk-wife/


    It's hilarious with the drawings...
  • Train4Foodz
    Train4Foodz Posts: 4,298 Member
    What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?

    Pull the pin and throw it back!
    :laugh: :laugh:
  • Train4Foodz
    Train4Foodz Posts: 4,298 Member
    A girl walks into a grocery store and asks the stock boy if he has any nuts.
    The guy says, "No, ma'am."
    She says, "Well, do you have any dates?"
    And he says, "Ma'am, if I don't have nuts, do you really expect me to have dates?"
  • larrodarro
    larrodarro Posts: 2,512 Member
    A couple of weeks ago someone knocked on my door long after midnight. I was going to ignore it, but my wife made me get up. I ask the young man at the door what he needed, and he said a push.

    I told him it was too late. If he hadn't got help by the time the sun came up to come back.

    When I got back in bed, the wife ask me what he wanted. I told her he needed a push, but I told him to wait for daylight.

    She said, but what would the neighbors think? Get your clothes on and go help that young man.

    So I got dressed and got my truck keys and went back to the front door. I couldn't see the fellow so I gave a little shout, are you still needing a push.

    He shouted back, yes.

    I ask, well, where are you at?

    He answered, around here at the swing.
  • Phoenix__Rising
    Phoenix__Rising Posts: 9,981 Member
    A girl walks into a grocery store and asks the stock boy if he has any nuts.
    The guy says, "No, ma'am."
    She says, "Well, do you have any dates?"
    And he says, "Ma'am, if I don't have nuts, do you really expect me to have dates?"


    :laugh: :happy: :laugh:
  • jacques57
    jacques57 Posts: 2,129 Member
    Hollywood has a new movie called "Constipation."

    It's not out yet.
  • jacques57
    jacques57 Posts: 2,129 Member
    What do you call a nun who has had a sex change?


    A Transistor.
  • jacques57
    jacques57 Posts: 2,129 Member
    What do you call an African-American Pilot?

    A PILOT, you racist!
  • Train4Foodz
    Train4Foodz Posts: 4,298 Member
    Hollywood has a new movie called "Constipation."

    It's not out yet.
    :laugh: :laugh: :happy: :laugh:
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
    Why do cemeteries have gates around them?
    People are dying to get in there!


    Did you hear the one about the guy who had an operation to have the left half of his body removed? He's all right now....
  • tennisdude2004
    tennisdude2004 Posts: 5,609 Member
    Two nuns in a bath:

    One says - where's the soap

    The other replies - yes it does, doesn't it!
  • SusanL222
    SusanL222 Posts: 585 Member
    It was 30 below and a wicked nor'easter was blowing outside! Her husband had been standing at the window and staring for hours. She guessed if it kept up much longer, she'd have to let him in.
  • SusanL222
    SusanL222 Posts: 585 Member
    Two nuns in a bath:

    One says - where's the soap

    The other replies - yes it does, doesn't it!

    Hmmmm, I'm still working on this one.....:ohwell:
  • darkrose20
    darkrose20 Posts: 1,139 Member
    Two priests walk into a bar...


    The third one ducked.
  • tennisdude2004
    tennisdude2004 Posts: 5,609 Member
    Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella?

    Fadrizzle!
  • V0lver
    V0lver Posts: 915 Member
    Two nuns in a bath:

    One says - where's the soap

    The other replies - yes it does, doesn't it!

    Hmmmm, I'm still working on this one.....:ohwell:
    Hint: Homophones
  • Megan101792
    Megan101792 Posts: 3,194 Member
    Hollywood has a new movie called "Constipation."

    It's not out yet.
    :laugh: :laugh: :happy: :laugh:

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Train4Foodz
    Train4Foodz Posts: 4,298 Member
    Police: where do u live?
    Me: with my parents
    Police: where does ur parents live?
    Me: with me
    Police: where do u all live?
    Me: together
    Police: where is ur house?
    Me: next to my neighbors house
    Police: where is your neighbors house?
    Me: if i tell you u wont believe me.
    Police: tell me
    Me: next to my house

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