Jokes Thread - Post Up!!

Train4Foodz

What do you call fake spaghetti?

Impasta!

:laugh: :laugh:

Bucky83

A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud "thud", and then he would swerve back on the road.

As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking, he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"

The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road.

"I'll give you a lift."

The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road.

Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. At the last minute, he remembered he had a priest in the truck and swerved back onto the road. Even though he knew he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "thud."

Unsure of where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors. When he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit a lawyer."

The priest replied, "That's OK, I got him with the door."

:laugh: :laugh:

rediscovermyfigure

Bucky83

Paul walks into the boss’s office. “Sir, let me get straight to the point, I know the economy is really down, but I have a couple of companies after me, and I would like to ask for a raise.” After a few minutes of haggling between them the boss finally agrees to a 10% raise, and Paul gets up to leave happily. “One minute”, says the boss to Paul , “which companies are after you by the way?” “The gas company, cable company, and phone company”, Paul replied!

Train4Foodz

A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud "thud", and then he would swerve back on the road.

As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking, he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"

The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road.

"I'll give you a lift."

The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road.

Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. At the last minute, he remembered he had a priest in the truck and swerved back onto the road. Even though he knew he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "thud."

Unsure of where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors. When he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit a lawyer."

The priest replied, "That's OK, I got him with the door."

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy:

tennisdude2004

'I said to my Gym instructor the other day - "Can you teach me to do the splits?''

He said, ''How flexible are you?''

I replied, ''I can't make Tuesdays''

Go_Mizzou99

Boss spelled backwards is double-S-O-B

AlistairBernardNormal

What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?

ROBERTO!!!