Dating Advice: Is fitness an important trait in a partner?

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IvanCasillas
IvanCasillas Posts: 90 Member
in Motivation and Support
When choosing a partner, how much of a factor is the health or fitness habits of the person you are considering a relationship with? I would consider myself an active & health conscious person and I think about how much emphasis I should put on finding someone who shares that. I dated a girl who didn't work out a day in her life and ate like crap almost every day which made my fitness and healthy eating very difficult. I know there are certainly more important things to consider than what food they eat and how often they work-out but should this be a significant deciding factor? I would really appreciate any input.
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Replies

  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    At this point- if I was to start all over again- I would rate that among my top things I looked for in a mate. I'm CONSTANTLY busy- and I don't need my SO to be AS busy- but it makes it difficult when you have no physical activities in common.

    It's not a deal breaker- I love my BF- but he drives me crazy with his bad workout ideas and crappy running things and squishy muscles LOL

    I would at least make sure it's on their radar of things- I find activities make good dates too- going rock climbing- going running- biking whatever- we don't do anything together because I think he's uncomfortable doing physically active things with me around.

    If you are very active- I think it needs to be considered.
  • nickylee76
    nickylee76 Posts: 629 Member
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    It would certainly make things easier. I am married but before when we first got married neither one of us was very active. Now I am very active and he still is not. I have to push and pull sometimes to get him out to do something. Then it has to be a leisurely activity.... Oh well.... I keep trying....
  • Meerataila
    Meerataila Posts: 1,885 Member
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    No but health is. I would make a terrible nurse.
  • peleroja
    peleroja Posts: 3,979 Member
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    It is if fitness is a big part of your lifestyle.

    My boyfriend is a huge gym rat and I'm not at all, but we both keep ourselves in good shape so we can do the activities we both enjoy like hiking, skiing almost every weekend in winter, that kind of thing. I don't care about his weight training routines too much and he doesn't come with me on runs, but as long as we share some leisure activities and don't hinder the other person, that's good enough for me.

    He eats about 3x what I do but we both eat the same kinds of foods and prioritize our grocery budget accordingly. I don't know if I could live with a man who ate nothing but beige convenience food because I love to cook certain kinds of meals. Overall with both diet and exercise we do things a little differently but our respective lifestyles are compatible and still allow us to enjoy our time together.

    It's only important if it makes you alter your lifestyle in what is a negative way for you. If you're got a partner who's shoveling chips in her face when you're avoiding them or nagging you to run when you are only interested in the couch, that's not good for anyone. But everyone's tolerance for that is different.

    My boyfriend really does want to live forever, though, so he'd never have started to date me if I didn't have what he considers healthy habits. He wants us to be those seniors doing triathlons and skiing off-piste in our 80s, haha. His health is really, really important to him so he wouldn't last a week with someone who eats no vegetables and gets winded going up three flights of stairs. He'd flee into the night mumbling about nitrates and cardiovascular endurance and bulk/cut cycles.
  • Kaetheb
    Kaetheb Posts: 16 Member
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    I've dated a variety from the barrel-shaped to the guy who obsesses over his workouts. And I've reached a point that I won't judge a guy for how he chooses to treat the skin he's in - except for one thing. If his idea of breakfast is vodka, or he considers a few beers to be a meal, just turn and walk away. And don't look back. Trust me on this one.
  • SmaugHugs
    SmaugHugs Posts: 60 Member
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    Yes! I love being with someone active. If I can't go hiking, camping or adventuring in the great outdoors with someone, it won't last, it never has. The perk with my boyfriend is that he studied martial arts for years, wants to bulk and helps me in the gym to lose weight. It is great having an active partner.
  • Veil5577
    Veil5577 Posts: 868 Member
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    I would like to be with someone who enjoys doing the same things that I do. I'm not overly active but I love hiking and walking. Personality is more important to me than how someone looks. If I ever start dating again, I hope I meet someone on the hiking trail.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    It's important in the sense that I'm enjoying active dates more now that I'm in shape. It's also frustrating to watch someone take bad care of themselves on a regular basis. That said, a six pack is not a prerequisite.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
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    Personally, I want to find someone who lifts. They don't have to be ripped, but I would love for that to be something to "share"
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    When I met my husband he was running into the room asking if anyone wanted to go white river rafting. That caught my attention. Next time I saw him we were dancing all night. We were both active, adventurous, creative. My husband has never been into going to the gym like I do. But he bikes, hikes, kayaks through the everglades with sharks and crocodiles, plays soccer. We do acrobatic tricks together. He rides a unicycle, juggles, walks on stilts, builds things, makes giant puppets, sculpture, set design. It's all part of our lifestyle. Being active is recreation for us.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    For me, health is the paramount concern and fitness is secondary. I am a healthy woman and even when I was very obese, I had a lot of healthy habits (not smoking, not drinking excessively, eating vegetables, taking care of my skin, getting enough sleep, having good hygiene). That's important to me. I was married to a man in the past who really didn't GAF about health, was a smoker and pretty regular social drinker. That did not seem like a huge problem to me when we met in our early 20s but by the time he entered his 30s (I was a bit older) he was having some serious health issues that were directly related to his unhealthy habits, and I realized that our difference in lifestyle WAS pretty major. The marriage ended for different reasons.

    Even though I am close to a "healthy weight" at this point I'm still not super fit. I get regular exercise but I'm not a CrossFit marathon running yogi. So I wouldn't expect any of that in my partner...it is just a bonus that the man I met 2 years ago, and married last October, happens to be healthy AND fit and super awesome :-)

    To better answer your Q though, if I were single at this time in my life I'd be less concerned about a slight weight problem or a semi lazy lifestyle, but someone who ate nothing but junk would give me pause, and someone who smoked, drank daily, and ignored doctor's advice would be a dealbreaker for even dating.

    ETA: I am extremely high energy and like to run around all of the time doing errands, trying new things, etc. My husband is the same way and I LOVE that however I really don't think that is essential. I'd be just as happy with him if he was more relaxed and didn't have the same enthusiasm for new things. I'd just need him to understand that I would be doing some stuff w/o him.
  • DeadliftAddict
    DeadliftAddict Posts: 746 Member
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    It wasn't a concern of mine when I was dating. I got extremely lucky that my wife is into fitness and nutrition as much as I am. It makes things easy. She knows when she grabs me something to weight it and tell me what it is in grams or ounces. If we ever split or something happened to her. Fitness will be one of the things on the top of my list. If she don't squat and dead lift, I can't setlle down with her. Lol......
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    I don't know that I'd put a strict requirement on it. No "You must eat clean and work out 5 ays a week". But yeah, in general I'd want to date someone who was fit and active. Someone who liked to bike, hike, run, go to the gym, maybe play sports. Someone who enjoyed food and drink but was knowledgeable about nutrition, etc.

    However I've been married 10 years and we are both pretty active. We were both active when we met. Prior to myself he had never dated anyone who was athletic or active and I think it made a difference.
  • vjohn04
    vjohn04 Posts: 2,276 Member
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    This is my most important interest, and I would want this out of a potential partner. It's a very important aspect in my life. It would probably be a deal breaker.
  • baba_helly
    baba_helly Posts: 810 Member
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    I think it is important to find someone who shares the same inclinations as you. If having a partner who did not exercise was a point of contention in the past, it is not unreasonable to seek out someone who shares your interests and lifestyle choices.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    Yeah. I'm interested in lifting and challenging myself and, thankfully, my husband is picking up that interest. If he didn't I imagine we'd have a lot less to talk about these days since it's a very big part of my life. I'd hate to have him excluded from something so important to me
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    Also

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  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,867 Member
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    If you're into fitness and your potential partner is not, it seems highly likely that you wouldn't really have that much in common which would probably make things rather awkward at some point.

    Oddly enough, I met my wife in a gym and we were both very active and fit and healthy and whatnot until we were about 30...both of us settled into desk jobs at that point and we settled into marriage as well and both of us packed on quite a few pounds at the same time.

    I started rockin' this good livin' almost 2 years ago and was kind of on my own there for awhile...but once she really saw the results and saw how much healthier and full of energy that I was, she got on board as well. Now we're both back to being very active and hitting the gym regularly and we're trying to pass these habits down to our kiddos as well.

    It's just been interesting to look back at the ebb and flow of our lives together.
  • IvanCasillas
    IvanCasillas Posts: 90 Member
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    [/quote]

    Do single women like this really exist? I'm convinced they only do in cartoon form.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    MjAxMy04ZDAzNTBkMjFhMzIwNGI4.png

    03060986e285d369b1e4f1b3b8351272.jpg

    Do single women like this really exist? I'm convinced they only do in cartoon form.
    [/quote]

    Haha, yes we do! All of this is good stuff.

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