Dating Advice: Is fitness an important trait in a partner?

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  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    I think it is important to have a similar lifestyle to an extent. Fitness and healthy eating (for the most part) are huge parts of my life, and I just don't think a relationship would work with someone who does not at least get that about me and accept it completely. For example, I am going to be up at no later than 5am lifting, running or whatever on most days instead of lounging in bed. I am sure that this would irritate some guys to the nth degree.
  • Madame_Goldbricker
    Madame_Goldbricker Posts: 1,625 Member
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    I've normally been the lazy GF in the past & my ex's have worked out, played sport, rowed, dragged bikes up & down mountain sides yada yada. I had zero interest in any of that & it didn't really get too much in the way. However I was younger then too & joint activities such as drinking & clubbing probably helped with finding common ground with them.

    These days yep I'd like to meet an SO whose into fitness so we could spend some quality time together in that regard. Especially as my excessive drinking & clubbing days are waaay behind me now.
  • bakemma
    bakemma Posts: 161 Member
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    My fiance pushes me to be fit, but I was already healthy before that. I push him to eat nutritiously and that works for us. We go for walks together, play tennis and eat healthy meals ( minus mushrooms, still can't get him to even try those). Part of the reason I fell in love with him is because he loved me they way I was, but was happy to work With me to be more fit and more healthy. If I was single and looking I would make sure the my SO was supportive of my healthy lifestyle and wanted to be a part of it. It just doesn't work if only one person wants it. Then the other person becomes angry or resentful, even jealous. My fiancé is all for me being fit, but he and I both prefer doing exercise ( except for when I go swimming at the gym, he lifts weights and then joins me) and grocery shopping together because it is bonding time, and it keeps creeps away. Win-win :)

    Oh, and I second the lifts, massages, and grabs my *kitten*. Means he wants to be sexy, caring, and thinks I'm hot. Never a bad thing ;)
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
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    Their habits, specifically, aren't important, but whether or not they make health/fitness a priority is very important. My current BF teaches capoeira and runs, whereas I'm happiest just picking up heavy things and putting them down again. We don't share in each other's activities, but I understand his need to go to class and he understands my need to go to the gym. In the past, I've dated people who didn't get that, and it inevitably caused an issue between us.

    One memorable exchange went something like this...
    Him (you have to read this in passive-aggressive b*tch voice): Well, fine, I guess if you'd rather go to the gym than hang out with ME...
    Me: Yep, I'd rather go to the gym.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    I always dated active girls.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    I think that the shared interest in fitness is one of the reasons that so many couples meet on this site. I can only imagine how insane my calorie counting and weighing food would drive someone who had no interest in it. :smile:
  • earthsember
    earthsember Posts: 435 Member
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    It's important.

    Not important for superficial reasons such as "I need someone who is ripped" (I don't) or "I need someone that is skinny" (I don't care so much), but because I want someone that is healthy and will be around, inshallah, for a long time. We have no guarantee on how long we'll live, but it's nice to know the person cares enough about their life to try to be healthy for it.

    I like to go to the gym, go swimming, go hiking, and other things that include being active, and I want to do those things with my partner :)
  • Watch_Me_Rise
    Watch_Me_Rise Posts: 301 Member
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    There are a lot of profiles on dating websites that explicitly say they are looking for a girl who works out and takes care of herself and I'm sure girls say the same or similar things.

    It's kind of intimidating but I get it, attraction is really important and I would say even more important in an online dating environment.
  • mfp2014mfp
    mfp2014mfp Posts: 689 Member
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    Health is a big thing for me now, when I started improving my lifestyle I had a talk to my partner about my fears for our future together if we continued down our current path. I saw obesity related diseases, us not being able to live an active healthy older life, not being able to take care of each other when we were old. It was bleak. We made a mutual decision to take care of ourselves for our future selves and each other, and it was the best decision we've made. If I was in a position where I was dating again, I would say someone who takes care of their health would be close to the top.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    There are a lot of profiles on dating websites that explicitly say they are looking for a girl who works out and takes care of herself and I'm sure girls say the same or similar things.

    It's kind of intimidating but I get it, attraction is really important and I would say even more important in an online dating environment.

    True, but it isn't really about the looks for me. It is more about the fact that I think the relationship will last longer and be a little easier with someone who shares my lifestyle. In my experience, relationships can be pretty difficult when people have strikingly different lifestyles.
  • LadyDi126
    LadyDi126 Posts: 18 Member
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    When I was looking to get back into the dating scene last summer, I was just getting into running. I didn't care if my future partner was a runner, but I definitely wanted someone who was concerned about their health. Fast forward to now, 9 months into our relationship...I ran my first half marathon a few weeks ago and it was a weekend vacation for me and my partner...hotel, dinner out, etc. She made me a sign and cheered me on. She consistently supports my running in any way she can (even bought me a treadmill when I was struggling to find the right time to exercise with my kiddos!!). I already plan to run 2 more half marathons and she has marked off the time so she can be there to support me.

    So no, my partner isn't a runner like me, but she's healthy, strong, and super supportive, which is what ended up mattering the most. She's never been rude or condescending, despite the fact that she's a nurse and has lost 60 pounds herself. She's knowledgeable about health and nutrition, but never bullies me into eating the way she does.

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