Finding Happiness as an Adult

MrTolerable
MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
What makes you happy as you progress into adulthood?
As one continues to mature they realize that many things that make them 'happy' are temporary, artificial, or trivial - what makes you most happy?
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Replies

  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,064 Member
    coffee-ending.jpg
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Relationships are what make me happy... my family, my friends, my love. Even the bonds I have with my pets.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    coffee-ending.jpg

    ^It is indeed short - and as you age time begins to move much more rapidly internally. ..even can be the case in the short term - ever take a one week vacation? - the first two days are long and relaxing - next thing you know your back at your desk muttering "da faq?"
  • Galatea_Stone
    Galatea_Stone Posts: 2,037 Member
    I'm halfway progressed through adulthood. I'd like to stop now, thanks.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    Relationships are what make me happy... my family, my friends, my love. Even the bonds I have with my pets.

    Absolutely agree here - but once you've been in enough relationships you realize how everyone is just a blend of everyone else - no one is truly unique or special or significant - you have to willfully decide they are.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    I'm halfway progressed through adulthood. I'd like to stop now, thanks.

    well you certainly don't look it :wink:
  • I find that the older I get, the less I try. Happiness just comes at me now. I have learned to appreciate what I used to take for granted and find joy without intention .
  • dcresider
    dcresider Posts: 1,272 Member
    With all the negativity out there, it's so hard to be happy, but as long as my loved ones are healthy, happy and find what they are looking for, then I'll be happy. My motto is to live your life because it IS so short.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Relationships are what make me happy... my family, my friends, my love. Even the bonds I have with my pets.

    Absolutely agree here - but once you've been in enough relationships you realize how everyone is just a blend of everyone else - no one is truly unique or special or significant - you have to willfully decide they are.

    I agree, but also disagree. Of course, most relationships are formed from actively choosing to bond with people. But you will never be able to tell me that my kids aren't special and unique. And if my kids are special and unique, then other people's kids are special and unique. And those kids grow up, and they are still special and unique.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    I love both of your comments, it is incredibly important to recall how blessed we are - that indeed is something to feel happy about.
  • itodd4019
    itodd4019 Posts: 340 Member
    For me, at this point in my life, I am 46...... I realize something that makes me happy is knowing that phases, or stages of life are the way of life. Life changes, evolves....

    I remember being in my youth and thought I would surf forever. I remember being an active Dad, and thought my children defined me. Then athletics, Running = Run for life! Distance Swimming- Amphibious for life! Triathlon- Tri for Life was my new mantra! haha on and on it went.

    The thing was, I seemed to feel anxiety for some type of loss each time my interest would wear down or start to wain. Even feel guilty if a new interest started to take over.

    Today, I am so happy to know, it's just another stage in the GREAT ADVENTURE. I don't worry for loss, nor do I pine for something new!

    I'm down for the adventure.

    The moment makes me happy!

    sheesh, sorta deep.

    Sweat Daily
    Todd
  • pope66682
    pope66682 Posts: 249 Member
    Relationships are what make me happy... my family, my friends, my love. Even the bonds I have with my pets.

    Absolutely agree here - but once you've been in enough relationships you realize how everyone is just a blend of everyone else - no one is truly unique or special or significant - you have to willfully decide they are.

    You have obviously not found the right person yet then.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    Relationships are what make me happy... my family, my friends, my love. Even the bonds I have with my pets.

    Absolutely agree here - but once you've been in enough relationships you realize how everyone is just a blend of everyone else - no one is truly unique or special or significant - you have to willfully decide they are.

    I agree, but also disagree. Of course, most relationships are formed from actively choosing to bond with people. But you will never be able to tell me that my kids aren't special and unique. And if my kids are special and unique, then other people's kids are special and unique. And those kids grow up, and they are still special and unique.

    ^I agree with your point whole-heartily - I don't have children, but I have three brothers and one sister, a rose between many thorns :wink: and likewise I feel they are all incredibly special - however they are simply biological animals wired and programmed up just like me and you. ..I guess it is in regards to perspective.

    appreciate your point, I sincerely do and I sincerely agree and feel where you are coming from.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    Relationships are what make me happy... my family, my friends, my love. Even the bonds I have with my pets.

    Absolutely agree here - but once you've been in enough relationships you realize how everyone is just a blend of everyone else - no one is truly unique or special or significant - you have to willfully decide they are.

    You have obviously not found the right person yet then.

    ^no disagreement there.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    For me, at this point in my life, I am 46...... I realize something that makes me happy is knowing that phases, or stages of life are the way of life. Life changes, evolves....

    I remember being in my youth and thought I would surf forever. I remember being an active Dad, and thought my children defined me. Then athletics, Running = Run for life! Distance Swimming- Amphibious for life! Triathlon- Tri for Life was my new mantra! haha on and on it went.

    The thing was, I seemed to feel anxiety for some type of loss each time my interest would wear down or start to wain. Even feel guilty if a new interest started to take over.

    Today, I am so happy to know, it's just another stage in the GREAT ADVENTURE. I don't worry for loss, nor do I pine for something new!

    I'm down for the adventure.

    The moment makes me happy!

    sheesh, sorta deep.

    Sweat Daily
    Todd

    Brilliant points as well - I likewise am feeling a pang of anxiety because I met the ambitious goals I had set out to accomplish - repeatedly, and I was talking to my brother last night asking how his golf game was with my father - and my father was saying how proud he was of the accomplishments we both achieved over the past few years - but I made those sacrifices thinking it would pave the way towards feelings of eternal happiness - and now I'm not saying I'm depressed or anything, but I just don't feel I made as significant a contribution into myself as I thought I did.

    But life is an adventure, a journey and it is important to reflect and appreciate that.
  • Kitten2629
    Kitten2629 Posts: 1,358 Member

    Absolutely agree here - but once you've been in enough relationships you realize how everyone is just a blend of everyone else - no one is truly unique or special or significant - you have to willfully decide they are.

    This is where I disagree with you. We are all unique in our own way. If we were all exactly the same the world would be a dull and boring place.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Relationships are what make me happy... my family, my friends, my love. Even the bonds I have with my pets.

    Absolutely agree here - but once you've been in enough relationships you realize how everyone is just a blend of everyone else - no one is truly unique or special or significant - you have to willfully decide they are.

    I agree, but also disagree. Of course, most relationships are formed from actively choosing to bond with people. But you will never be able to tell me that my kids aren't special and unique. And if my kids are special and unique, then other people's kids are special and unique. And those kids grow up, and they are still special and unique.

    ^I agree with your point whole-heartily - I don't have children, but I have three brothers and one sister, a rose between many thorns :wink: and likewise I feel they are all incredibly special - however they are simply biological animals wired and programmed up just like me and you. ..I guess it is in regards to perspective.

    appreciate your point, I sincerely do and I sincerely agree and feel where you are coming from.

    We aren't just simply flesh and bone. We all have thoughts, emotions, experiences, and personality traits that we don't necessarily share with everyone else.
  • miss_jessiejane
    miss_jessiejane Posts: 2,819 Member
    Cupcakes. Also, two chicks at the same time.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    For me, at this point in my life, I am 46...... I realize something that makes me happy is knowing that phases, or stages of life are the way of life. Life changes, evolves....

    I remember being in my youth and thought I would surf forever. I remember being an active Dad, and thought my children defined me. Then athletics, Running = Run for life! Distance Swimming- Amphibious for life! Triathlon- Tri for Life was my new mantra! haha on and on it went.

    The thing was, I seemed to feel anxiety for some type of loss each time my interest would wear down or start to wain. Even feel guilty if a new interest started to take over.

    Today, I am so happy to know, it's just another stage in the GREAT ADVENTURE. I don't worry for loss, nor do I pine for something new!

    I'm down for the adventure.

    The moment makes me happy!

    sheesh, sorta deep.

    Sweat Daily
    Todd

    Brilliant points as well - I likewise am feeling a pang of anxiety because I met the ambitious goals I had set out to accomplish - repeatedly, and I was talking to my brother last night asking how his golf game was with my father - and my father was saying how proud he was of the accomplishments we both achieved over the past few years - but I made those sacrifices thinking it would pave the way towards feelings of eternal happiness - and now I'm not saying I'm depressed or anything, but I just don't feel I made as significant a contribution into myself as I thought I did.

    But life is an adventure, a journey and it is important to reflect and appreciate that.

    Well it would be quite alright for you to set new goals for yourself. It's great that you achieved those goals, but if they have left you unfulfilled, then you need to set new goals for yourself that will take you in a new direction.
  • kaseyr1505
    kaseyr1505 Posts: 624 Member
    Nature really makes me happy. I love to sit outside, and listen to the sounds around me, hike to overlook the city, lay outside in a hammock and see the stars.

    That, and going to the gun range.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member

    Absolutely agree here - but once you've been in enough relationships you realize how everyone is just a blend of everyone else - no one is truly unique or special or significant - you have to willfully decide they are.

    This is where I disagree with you. We are all unique in our own way. If we were all exactly the same the world would be a dull and boring place.

    ^respectfully you have not read Søren Kierkegaard yet - not the happiest of reads but in the process of levelling


    a wiki snapshot
    levelling - " a process of suppressing and removing individuality to such a point where an individual lacks the traits that make him unique. Without being an individual, life and one's very existence becomes void of any meaning. This philosophy is not the fully developed nihilism that was to come because Kierkegaard believed leveling created a life without meaning or value, but that life itself has inherent meaning and value, Modern nihilism, beginning with Nietzsche, would claim life has no inherent meaning period."
  • MSeel1984
    MSeel1984 Posts: 2,297 Member
    coffee-ending.jpg

    This. Yep. Coffee is always around. Coffee is always tasty. It perks me up when I'm tired...comforts me when I'm cold...
    Coffee.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    Nature really makes me happy. I love to sit outside, and listen to the sounds around me, hike to overlook the city, lay outside in a hammock and see the stars.

    That, and going to the gun range.

    ^I enjoy all of the above - particularly the latter -nothing like firing off my AK-47 at the range to take off some steam - the thing however is those are fleeting moments of happiness not a lifestyle of happiness.
  • MindyM80
    MindyM80 Posts: 41 Member
    Laughter. Being able to laugh, at situations, at yourself, at your children and pets. if youre not laughing youre not having FUN!

    Nothing makes me happier than having one of those laughs that is hard to control, youre crying, snorting... i love it :happy:
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    For me, at this point in my life, I am 46...... I realize something that makes me happy is knowing that phases, or stages of life are the way of life. Life changes, evolves....

    I remember being in my youth and thought I would surf forever. I remember being an active Dad, and thought my children defined me. Then athletics, Running = Run for life! Distance Swimming- Amphibious for life! Triathlon- Tri for Life was my new mantra! haha on and on it went.

    The thing was, I seemed to feel anxiety for some type of loss each time my interest would wear down or start to wain. Even feel guilty if a new interest started to take over.

    Today, I am so happy to know, it's just another stage in the GREAT ADVENTURE. I don't worry for loss, nor do I pine for something new!

    I'm down for the adventure.

    The moment makes me happy!

    sheesh, sorta deep.

    Sweat Daily
    Todd

    Brilliant points as well - I likewise am feeling a pang of anxiety because I met the ambitious goals I had set out to accomplish - repeatedly, and I was talking to my brother last night asking how his golf game was with my father - and my father was saying how proud he was of the accomplishments we both achieved over the past few years - but I made those sacrifices thinking it would pave the way towards feelings of eternal happiness - and now I'm not saying I'm depressed or anything, but I just don't feel I made as significant a contribution into myself as I thought I did.

    But life is an adventure, a journey and it is important to reflect and appreciate that.

    Well it would be quite alright for you to set new goals for yourself. It's great that you achieved those goals, but if they have left you unfulfilled, then you need to set new goals for yourself that will take you in a new direction.

    ^yeah... I just keep meeting goals, setting new ones, meeting goals and each time I think -this is finally it! Once I achieve purchasing this, or getting this lady to fall for me, or getting that promotion I'll be happy - once you get there you realize how... not meaningless, but how insignificant it is - particularly when reflecting on our lives at the level of the cosmos. Very and sadly insignificant.
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    My husband, my mom, my sister & brother, and my handful of close friends.
    I also enjoy owning a car I bought new & paid off almost 2 years early.
    I enjoy owning a home that I can decorate however I wish.
    I enjoy game night at our house, and entertaining guests in general.
    I enjoy going out to dinner to local restaurants and knowing the staff by name.
    I enjoy visiting the local farmer's markets on summer Saturdays.
    I enjoy a nice cup of coffee early in the mornings on weekends, when the house is quiet, the tv is off, and my pup snoozing in my lap.
    I love growing flowers around my house.
    I love taking the pups for a walk around my neighborhood.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    Laughter. Being able to laugh, at situations, at yourself, at your children and pets. if youre not laughing youre not having FUN!

    Nothing makes me happier than having one of those laughs that is hard to control, youre crying, snorting... i love it :happy:

    nothing is as scary as the smile on a un-willful nihilist face. :wink:


    I agree - laughter is the med for the heart - but once again it is fleeting.
  • peleroja
    peleroja Posts: 3,979 Member
    I dunno, I'm happy pretty much every day and I don't have to try for it.

    I know I'm lucky. I have a good job and a kind boss, nice place to live, enough disposable income that I never worry about paying my bills or buying groceries, no kids to care for, a wonderful boyfriend and incredible friends, a small but loving family, good physical and mental health...and I am thankful every day for all those privileges.

    I am into savouring little things too: cute fluffy dogs on my way to work, reading a new book, a drink on my sunny balcony, ten minutes cuddling in bed before I have to get up, making plans for weekend trips, wearing my favourite shoes, whatever.

    I'm not rich/super successful/incredibly well-liked or talented/really attractive but I find I don't need to be. I have worked to make my life the way I want it and i am just really grateful every day that I have all the things I have, both material and intangible.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member

    Absolutely agree here - but once you've been in enough relationships you realize how everyone is just a blend of everyone else - no one is truly unique or special or significant - you have to willfully decide they are.

    This is where I disagree with you. We are all unique in our own way. If we were all exactly the same the world would be a dull and boring place.

    ^respectfully you have not read Søren Kierkegaard yet - not the happiest of reads but in the process of levelling


    a wiki snapshot
    levelling - " a process of suppressing and removing individuality to such a point where an individual lacks the traits that make him unique. Without being an individual, life and one's very existence becomes void of any meaning. This philosophy is not the fully developed nihilism that was to come because Kierkegaard believed leveling created a life without meaning or value, but that life itself has inherent meaning and value, Modern nihilism, beginning with Nietzsche, would claim life has no inherent meaning period."

    You took too many philosophy classes. The great thing about philosophy is its just one man's opinion. Your life does not have to be defined by the opinion of others, no matter how many people agree with them, or how long their teachings have been around. Form your own opinions about life.

    Seriously, that expression "life is what you make it" is really spot on. If you want to be special, if you want to be happy, go and find the thing that makes you special and/or makes you happy.
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