Getting past the embarrassment barrier of exercise?

lovekohl

You're over thinking.

Just do it.

+1

People are too involved in their own workouts to be worried about yours, and if they have enough time to be judging you for trying to better yourself, then they're the ones with the problem.

Working with a trainer has always helped me get over those fears. That way you know you're doing the right exercises the right way.

drangonfly2323

Okay this was me. I would go to classes only with friends and I would hide in the back and I would only run early in the morning when it was dark. Your confidence in what you are doing and the changes in yourself will come, just keep taking baby steps and getting out and doing as much as you can. I suffer with extreme anxiety and for a long time I would let that hold me back. However now I will run in the middle of the day, go to any class I want and I just dont care anymore. It took a lot to accept that the only person who was ever judging or critiquing me was me.

Meerataila

I'll non-judgmentally share a pool with anybody who doesn't pee in it or cannonball down on top of me. And any other decent human will, too. Those other people shouldn't even be a factor in your life. They're less than the beach sand under your flip flops.

Annesoucy1957

I am very self conscious about my body and that is fat or thin, but I dont pay attention to other people looks and put in my head that they are wired like me. What I do notice is the effort people put in their exercises no matter what size they are I always have admiration for their commitment

iRun_Butterfly

The only way to get over it is to just go do it, and do it again, and again, and again. Walking through those doors will become easier every single time, I promise you. Two years ago I was petrified to walk into my gym and even use the treadmill, I felt like everyone was looking at the pathetic fat girl who could barely walk at 3 mph without getting red faced and winded. But the more I did it, the more confidence I gained. Now, not only do I walk through those doors, I hop on that treadmill and run with all of the confidence I can muster! Six months ago I shook like a leaf when I decided to venture into "no womans land", the weight room, and I continued to shake like that leaf for the first two or three months. Now, I walk back there like I own the place, load up my weights and do my work. People are going to look, people are going to watch. But honestly, are you going to let that keep you from attaining your goals? I sure hope not!!

ajff

I remember a similar post a few weeks ago... The OP said something about summoning all her strength to do a class at her gym. The respondent said something about seeing people who have weight to lose in her class: They work harder, they look uncomfortable, and she respects the sh** out of them! That THEY are motivating to her because if they are there, working so hard, she can be there.

So... when you get there, hold that head up high! You never know who you are inspiring!

BringingSherriBack

You just have to get past the mental block that is holding you back. I did water aerobics at my heaviest (325 pounds) and loved it. Yes I was one of the biggest people there for the class and yes once I got over myself and my over thinking, I really enjoyed the class and started doing it 3 times a week. I didn't lose massive amounts of weight but I felt better physically and had way better self esteem since I knew I was working on a healthier me.
I also was forced to do physical therapy for my knees at the same time and my therapist wouldn't let me do water therapy. She insisted I do the elliptical, treadmill and weight machines. I built muscles that helped with the pain and I actually amazed myself at how strong I really was. The hour long therapy sessions 3 times a week kicked my butt, but I felt good about myself when it was over.

You can do this. You just have to quit caring about what other people think and just do it! Honestly most aren't thinking what you think they are thinking. Most are really thinking "good for her trying to do something about her health" not the "OMG look at her" that we all think they are thinking.

Good luck and enjoy the journey!

dancingj2

For me doing things that I do not need to go to a gym has helped. I have several DVD that I uses at home, I like to walk and to bike and I sometimes will skip rope inside my garage.

amethyst7986

If you can afford it get a trainer at the gym, this way you can learn to use the equipment and get a general layout of the gym, I learned where all the equipment was (Bozu balls, yoga mats, free weights, etc) it helped me to be able to set up my own circuits once I quit using the trainer. This helped me a lot when I started working out again, although I don't use them any more I still see them at the gym and they will often ask if I need help learning some new techniques or changing up my routine.

or find a workout buddy, this way you can at least have someone to chat with or help motivate yourself.

and if neither of these are an option for you then just go for it. For me its my alone time, I don't worry about others anymore-- I go in do my workout and leave. I rarely speak a word to another person there unless its the initial "hello" or "good bye"

likitisplit

I have been the gym rat. I've seen people come into the gym and just wanted to cheer them on knowing what it took for them to get in there and knowing that anything I said would just make them feel uncomfortable.

Fast forward through two pregnancies - I'm 215 pounds, heavier than I've ever been in my life. I can't WALK a 5k let alone run one - I've NEVER been able to run. But I'm down to the bottom of the barrel, need to make a change, and have an app. Just go slow and see how far you can get.

My self talk as I was lacing up my shoes that first time:
"They are going to laugh to see me out there. They know I'm just going to quit."
"Don't worry about "them." They are in their houses and you will be exercising. Deal with quitting when you get there. All you have to do is get outside."
"I'm going to look like hell with my fat sloshing from side to side."
"Just get out there and do what you can."
"I"m never going to be a runner."
"And the alternative is to just get fatter? You have to do something."

So I went out there and jiggled and rippled and felt like all the empty houses were staring at me. I ran my first 30 seconds and felt like I could do that again. I felt SO proud. As a matter of fact, every time I run past that point now, I still get that feeling of pride and self-respect. But that's getting ahead of myself.

I got out there three days a week. Working around my responsibilities and schedule. Just doing what I could and not worrying about my eventual point of failure. Because I was going to fail. Did I mention that I was physiologically incapable of being a runner. I have asthma, for God's sake.

One day, one of my neighbors said something. She said, "YOU GO GIRL!!!!"

All of the negativity? All of the judgement? It was coming from inside. Everybody who saw me was inspired at seeing me do something they weren't. All of the runners knew EXACTLY how hard it was for me to be out there and respected me even more than the rest.

And another lady in my neighborhood started to run because of me.

You just need to do it. There is literally nothing to fear but the fear itself. You confront that and it will blow away like a mist. And you'll be left with the self-respect of doing something good for yourself.

And me? The "non-runner"? I ran a half-marathon a year after starting Couch to 5k. I've lost 50 pounds. I'm doing pretty well.

_HeartsOnFire_

I put headphones in at the gym, or go really early. Once those headphones are in though, I don't notice anyone. Especially if it's deadlift day.

JeffInJax

Me and my workout group on chest/bicep day were actually talking about a similar topic on monday. A lot of people seem to think that people are very critical about other people that are out of shape when they come into the gym. Now of course you are going to have the occasional a$$hat who actually is doing that, but the vast majority of people either A. Could care a less about you or your size, or B. Applaud you for taking the effort to get into better shape.

To be honest, just like taking the commitment to lose weight, its a mental battle on your behalf. Don't worry about what others think and if you do, most of them are in there trying to get into shape or maintain their shape just like you, its a shared battle.

trishfit2014

I agree that most people do not care and if they think anything it is respect. I am self conscious as heck. I used headphones, plug them in and you can tune out everyone else. Also, go early in the morning. There are less people and the people there are all about working out...not the social scene, etc. Do some stuff you like...keep doing it ... then try new stuff. Walking is a great start as is swimming. Do it...you will feel pride in yourself for doing it!

levitateme

How do you get past the embarrassed feeling or do you just have to get over it?

Yes, you just have to get over it. I started going to the gym around 180 lbs at 5'4". I was out of shape, and 10 minutes on the elliptical had me sweating profusely and winded. I was embarrassed, thought people were looking at me thinking "oh, she's going to quit soon, look at her."

I kept going back, and now I can do 45 minutes of intense cardio and barely get winded. I can squat 75% my body weight. I can do a pullup (working on more). I can do "real" pushups. I've lost about 25 lbs and am now working more on body recomp than weight loss. Keep going back, eventually you will surprise yourself.

amethyst7986

Saw this on Pintrest the other day:


You, whose feet barely lift off the ground as you trudge around the track.
You, who keeps to the outside lane, footslogging in the wrong direction.
You, who stops for a water break every lap, and who would probably stop twice a lap if there were bleachers on both sides.
You, whose gaze drops to your feet every time we pass.
You, whose sweat drenches your body after you leave, completing only a single 20-minute mile

There's something you should know: You rock!

Every shallow step you take, you carry the weight of more than two of me, clinging to your bones, begging to be shaken off. Each lap you run, you're paying off the debt of another midnight snack, another dessert, another beer. It's 20 degrees outside, but you haven't let that stop your regimen. This isn't your first day out here and it certainly won't be your last. You've started a journey that lasts a lifetime, and you've started at least 12 days before your new years resolution has kicked in.

You run without music, and I can only imagine the mantras running through your mind as your heave you ever-shrinking mass around the next lap. Let's go feet! Shut up legs! F*** off fat! If you'd only look up from your feet next time we pass, you'd see my gaze has no condensation in it.

I've nothing but respect for you. YOU"VE GOT THIS!

NancyN795

I deal with it by not exercising where other people can see me. The platitudes like: "just ignore that people are judging you" or "people aren't judging you" or "find a gym that isn't like that" or whatever never worked. I know other people get over it and can exercise in public. I'm not one of them. I am very introverted and was ridiculed mercilessly as a kid for being uncoordinated. At this point in my life, I see no need to "get over it". I'm lucky to be able to work out at home. Not everyone can.

What I did was I got a used Nintendo Wii and balance board. I started with the original Wii Fit game that I got with the balance board and when I found that I could stick to that, I got some tougher fitness games. I used Game Fly to have a chance to try out different titles. Now I do Zumba on the Wii every day and that gets me a good cardio workout in the privacy of my own home, using minimal space.

I still struggle to find a way to get myself to work on my flexibility and do strength training but for where I am right now (considering my age, health and weight), I think the most essential thing is the cardio workout.

(I do miss swimming, the one "public" exercise I would be willing to do, despite having to change in the locker room, but I just don't want to spend the time it would take.)

likitisplit

I deal with it by not exercising where other people can see me. The platitudes like: "just ignore that people are judging you" or "people aren't judging you" or "find a gym that isn't like that" or whatever never worked. I know other people get over it and can exercise in public. I'm not one of them. I am very introverted and was ridiculed mercilessly as a kid for being uncoordinated. At this point in my life, I see no need to "get over it". I'm lucky to be able to work out at home. Not everyone can.

What I did was I got a used Nintendo Wii and balance board. I started with the original Wii Fit game that I got with the balance board and when I found that I could stick to that, I got some tougher fitness games. I used Game Fly to have a chance to try out different titles. Now I do Zumba on the Wii every day and that gets me a good cardio workout in the privacy of my own home, using minimal space.

I still struggle to find a way to get myself to work on my flexibility and do strength training but for where I am right now (considering my age, health and weight), I think the most essential thing is the cardio workout.

(I do miss swimming, the one "public" exercise I would be willing to do, despite having to change in the locker room, but I just don't want to spend the time it would take.)

As an FYI, most runners were that kid in school too. Just saying.

There are some really good body weight training programs out there - I use Convict Conditioning.

Pilates might be a good fit for you as well.

JoRocka

You're over thinking.

Just do it.

no one cares about you.
put your head phones on and go for it- the more you do it- the less uncomfortable you get.

Holly_Roman_Empire

Nobody cares.

Honestly, everyone that's driving by or walking past you has 90 million other things going through their mind. And in that one instance when somebody does make you feel embarrassed, well, you have a decision to make--

Be embarrassed about your weight, or be embarrassed about how you look while trying to lose weight.

"Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Choose your hard."

civilizedworm

OP the only one judging you, is yourself.