Why is consistency so hard for most people?
RWTBR
Posts: 140 Member
So, I have noticed that the most basic problem most people have with losing and maintaining weight is consistency. Most of us say we want to do this and that; we may get started; we may even be "good" for a while. But it seems that 95% of people have a really hard time staying consistent. It is rare to see someone who has even a 100 or 200 day streak of logging in on MFP.
Interestingly, the excuse makers say that it's all the diet's fault, that diets don't work for 95% of people. When, really, these people cannot stay consistent.
I have my own ideas on why consistency is so hard for most people. What are yours? And, how can people improve their motivation to truly change and maintain a new lifestyle? How can we prevent relapse?
I am asking these questions because several people have come to me for help over time, and nearly all of them have not logged into MFP for a month or more. While I am not one to get wrapped up in what others do or don't do, it can be frustrating to provide the help people ask for and then see them not use it.
Interestingly, the excuse makers say that it's all the diet's fault, that diets don't work for 95% of people. When, really, these people cannot stay consistent.
I have my own ideas on why consistency is so hard for most people. What are yours? And, how can people improve their motivation to truly change and maintain a new lifestyle? How can we prevent relapse?
I am asking these questions because several people have come to me for help over time, and nearly all of them have not logged into MFP for a month or more. While I am not one to get wrapped up in what others do or don't do, it can be frustrating to provide the help people ask for and then see them not use it.
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Replies
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Our society is not set up for health and weight loss. There are triggers everwhere.. food commericials, candy and snacks in EVERY shop. As humans we are programmed to eat when food is available. Plus it takes time to build new habits. If we were learning to drive or learn a new language we would expect it to take time. When it comes to weight loss we expect to change overnight and be perfect 100% of the time. Just a few of my thoughts.0
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My lack of consistency can be traced to a few things.
1. Impatience with the process and then giving up because "it's not making a difference anyway"
2. Resistance to any discomfort. Most times I should push through a little harder, but instead I say, "Too hard, forget this. "
(this is not about experiencing pain; that's a different thing)
3. Looking at the amount of time it will take to hit my goals and giving up.
4. Making a bad plan which immediately sets me up for failure, so I just think, "There, that proves I can't lose weight." Bad plans include extreme diets, completely omitting macros because they are "bad," starving myself, using cleanses which only hurt my efforts and pathologizes food.
5. Not having a health buddy, whether it's online or in my real life. Always going it alone hasn't really worked out for me. With support, I have both accountability and a sensible voice urging me not to quit.
6. Let's face it, I'm lazy when it comes to exercise. "I really need to watch all 3 seasons of the Mighty Boosh, I'll go another time."0 -
I am going to say for a lot of people its due to them having an unrealistic goal to lose weight. They want to say I am going to go on a diet and work out and lose 100lbs. They want to wake up the next day 100 lbs lighter. I imagine these same people cut way down to low.. Say they are never going to eat x again and after what feels like forever but not long at all. They say screw it. I only lost 10lba. Boo. Hoo. I quit. Go back to all old habits. Then like shampooing our hair they rinse and repeat.0
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It is rare to see someone who has even a 100 or 200 day streak of logging in on MFP.
{quote}
It's not rare on my FL at all.
I logged in for 1080 days then had no access whilst abroad on holiday so lost my log in days.0 -
1. They are unrealistic. They try to make too many changes at once, they don't plan for what to do when they hit an obstacle, they are too restrictive, and/or they create unattainable goals. Then they fall on their face. Sometimes they don't realize that they are doing this, other times people do it on purpose so they have something to blame when they fail.
2. They are treating the symptoms of the issue. Many people on MFP have issues with emotional eating, relationships with food, and body image, and figure if they lose weight, everything will be better. So they begin a diet and exercise program, and end up slacking off, bingeing, or making excuses why they aren't successful (there are cookies in the house and the rest of the family won't support the person by not buying cookies). They don't want to talk to a doctor, or therapist, or support group like OA to help them get to the "why" of the matter, and since they never address it, they are not able to make any behavioral changes that would help them be successful.
3. They've surrounded themselves with the "M is for Motivation! Cheerleaders." They've found people to support them on their journey, and there are motivational sayings, fitspo, emojis, positivity, and exclamation points as far as the eye can see. Each time they slip up, they get lots of support and "you'll get it next time!" from their group. Unfortunately, everyone is so focused on being positive and happy that no one is doing any critical thinking. So they end up getting validation for every excuse they have instead of someone saying "ok, yeah, we're all human and make mistakes, but if you're serious about this, you need to get it together," and no one ends up losing any weight.
4. They focus too much on the scale. Instead of setting goals for themselves to work towards while on this journey like improving a fitness goal, or incorporating more fruits and veggies, or trying zumba class, everything is done with calories and a scale number in mind. Then when the scale doesn't move for awhile, they freak out and beat themselves up instead of being able to say "ok, the scale didn't move this week, but watch me do 20 consecutive burpees and eat this big plate of veggies because rawr, broccoli looks like baby trees!"0 -
Actually most people are very good at being consistent......consistently eating the way they have their whole lives.0
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I have admitted to struggling with consistency over the past few years. Don't know how to solve the problem. Looking for suggestions!0
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I don't think that consistency logging into MFP is a good measure for consistency in diet. I only use MFP when I'm in situations that are difficult to control food-and-exercise-wise. I use it like a tool: I pick it up when I think I might need it and put it down when it's no longer necessary.
Now, as for sticking to diets and exercise regimens in general: it varies. If someone starts out on a program they don't enjoy, the motivation dies pretty early on. If someone is losing weight for other people, that too fails.
There's also a plethora of people who hit the ground running and then recoil because they've started a program that doesn't fit around their normal lifestyle. I'd say this is a huge reason, especially for people who decide to make huge changes in their daily life without small changes being made before.
You don't start out running when you get exhausted after standing for 5 minutes. Your body will reject reality if you decide to eat 80% raw after surviving on cake and fried chicken for ten years.
Not to say some people don't succeed, but the initial failures are often all it takes for a person to lose faith in their own ability to make significant changes in their lives.0 -
Some suggestions would be. Accept losing weight takes time. Set a reasonable calorie goal. If you have to lose a lot think of it in chunks and not whole picture. Make small changes to diet and exercise. Remember you will have bad days and just move on from them. Come up with ways to control your eating habits. I freeze my favorite cookies and cake. Its gives me the joy of having them but not every day.0
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No two ways about it. Research has consistently shown that behavior change is hard and people tend to drift back to their original behaviors over time. It has a lot to do with internal and external factors that drive certain decisions. - everybody does the best they can in their circumstances - and sometimes that appears sub-optimal.
I'd recommend the book "the willpower instinct"0 -
My lack of consistency can be traced to a few things.
1. Impatience with the process and then giving up because "it's not making a difference anyway"
2. Resistance to any discomfort. Most times I should push through a little harder, but instead I say, "Too hard, forget this. "
(this is not about experiencing pain; that's a different thing)
3. Looking at the amount of time it will take to hit my goals and giving up.
4. Making a bad plan which immediately sets me up for failure, so I just think, "There, that proves I can't lose weight." Bad plans include extreme diets, completely omitting macros because they are "bad," starving myself, using cleanses which only hurt my efforts and pathologizes food.
5. Not having a health buddy, whether it's online or in my real life. Always going it alone hasn't really worked out for me. With support, I have both accountability and a sensible voice urging me not to quit.
6. Let's face it, I'm lazy when it comes to exercise. "I really need to watch all 3 seasons of the Mighty Boosh, I'll go another time."
I applaud you for your first-person answer. That's some serious self-awareness there. I suffer from 1-4 and 6. The only way I beat it was when I got to a new low (high I guess) and decided to work on changing my habits. Three years later, I still struggle. Because my natural state is to be lazy.0 -
No two ways about it. Research has consistently shown that behavior change is hard and people tend to drift back to their original behaviors over time. It has a lot to do with internal and external factors that drive certain decisions. - everybody does the best they can in their circumstances - and sometimes that appears sub-optimal.
I'd recommend the book "the willpower instinct"
I'm so glad you're on my friend list!0 -
I know that for me, operating on a feelings basis messes things up. So, even when I don't want to work out or don't want to eat well because of how I "feel" I have to turn that switch of and just do.
If I don't do that then it is easy to not be consistent because I give in to feeling tired or sad or not in the mood or lazy etc. Consistency comes from just doing it (Nike got that one right!) and enjoying the feelings that come afterward.0 -
It is rare to see someone who has even a 100 or 200 day streak of logging in on MFP.
Um... I have a 581 day streak. Lots of people on my FL have streaks longer than mine. I guess my friends and I are the 5%.0 -
Honestly in the past for me it was a few things...
-Triggers of my my living situation. I lived with all obese people who had no interest in being healthy or eating healthy. I lost motivation very easily when they would make something good for dinner or wanted to go out.
- I never really learned what healthy was. I grew up in a very southern home everything was slathered in something and full of fat, calories etc.
- I wasn't ready I suppose. While I despised the size I was I found comfort in food. When I had a bad day or something happened or heck even to celebrate lol I ate. Everything in my life revolved around food and not in a good way.
- I think unless a person has true self awareness and has really found touched base with that part inside of them they will lose motivation or determination. Many times that awareness unfortunately comes from negative events. Health, death of people close, those things make people aware of themselves and their future. Maybe I am way off here but at least for me and what I observe it's true. The person just really has to be ready and honest with themselves.
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I also have a problem with consistence. But my best advice is to just keep trying no matter what. If you fall of the wagon for a year its ok just keep trying. Learn what works for you and get as much information on the health and fitness topics that interest you. Eventually your healthy habits will become second nature and all the information you have absorbed will shape your choices. At least thats whats working for me. Im currently working on getting my diet down and i feel like i have a good handle on it. My next big hurdle will be exercising consistently, once i get that down nothing will stop me.
Hope someone found this helpful0 -
I think part of it is overly restrictive eating on the food side and crazy expectations exercise-wise. With exercise especially, better to exercise smarter as opposed to realllly lonnnggg. But that's just one opinion.0
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there are going to be numerous answers but here are some from the top of my head: :
1)because for many people, life is not consistent and little changes to their schedules can be a domino effect on many other aspects of their lives.
2) some people expect to see quick results so they stick with something for a few weeks dont see a change (and maybe even gain weight) and they give up because they think it's not working.
3)some people get cray with the changes they make, will power can only get you so far since it's best used in short term spurts not for something that would involve longer term
4) they arent 100% ready for weight loss
for me personally, i'm guilty of #1 and #40 -
Awesome! Great responses, guys! Let's keep this conversation going.0
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Fear that the payoff won't be worth the effort threatens to capsize my happy little diet ship. Oops, I mean lifestyle change ship. But I'll give it a couple more months and every drop of sweat, blood, and tears left in me to get to exactly where I want to be, then see if I like the view from there.
If nothing else, I feel really good right now and not craving, so this whole ethical vegan thing might be paying off in unexpected ways. Which might just be enough to keep me going even if nothing else does.0 -
Consistency is hard because it requires decision and discipline. It's easy to resolve to lose weight when clothes get too tight, but to follow through with the necessary actions required takes more than a mere blog post. It isn't easy to change habits. I had a tough time getting myself to log in every day when I started because I didn't feel like being accountable on days when I screwed up. I managed my first 90 days of logging streak by committing to post on a thread every day, but once I accomplished the goal, I found myself only logging exercise and leaving my food diary blank on days that I didn't want to be accountable for extra calories. So now I've been making myself complete my food diary every day. I hope that I can be an example of consistency and continue to follow through with what I say I'm going to do.0
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People do want they truly want to do.
It's that simple.0 -
1. They are unrealistic. They try to make too many changes at once, they don't plan for what to do when they hit an obstacle, they are too restrictive, and/or they create unattainable goals. Then they fall on their face. Sometimes they don't realize that they are doing this, other times people do it on purpose so they have something to blame when they fail.
2. They are treating the symptoms of the issue. Many people on MFP have issues with emotional eating, relationships with food, and body image, and figure if they lose weight, everything will be better. So they begin a diet and exercise program, and end up slacking off, bingeing, or making excuses why they aren't successful (there are cookies in the house and the rest of the family won't support the person by not buying cookies). They don't want to talk to a doctor, or therapist, or support group like OA to help them get to the "why" of the matter, and since they never address it, they are not able to make any behavioral changes that would help them be successful.
3. They've surrounded themselves with the "M is for Motivation! Cheerleaders." They've found people to support them on their journey, and there are motivational sayings, fitspo, emojis, positivity, and exclamation points as far as the eye can see. Each time they slip up, they get lots of support and "you'll get it next time!" from their group. Unfortunately, everyone is so focused on being positive and happy that no one is doing any critical thinking. So they end up getting validation for every excuse they have instead of someone saying "ok, yeah, we're all human and make mistakes, but if you're serious about this, you need to get it together," and no one ends up losing any weight.
4. They focus too much on the scale. Instead of setting goals for themselves to work towards while on this journey like improving a fitness goal, or incorporating more fruits and veggies, or trying zumba class, everything is done with calories and a scale number in mind. Then when the scale doesn't move for awhile, they freak out and beat themselves up instead of being able to say "ok, the scale didn't move this week, but watch me do 20 consecutive burpees and eat this big plate of veggies because rawr, broccoli looks like baby trees!"
dear lord- all of this.
I would say usually it's time and the warm fuzzy issues and unrealstic goals.
> They think it happens quickly- it doesn't- this requires patience and they want it to happen over night.
> they want to FEEL motivated to do things- and that's not how this works
> they want a scale goal- and have no tangible working toward goals- running- lifting- competing in a race whatever- things to keep them moving foward to a DEFINED end of accomplishment.0 -
My lack of consistency can be traced to a few things.
1. Impatience with the process and then giving up because "it's not making a difference anyway"
2. Resistance to any discomfort. Most times I should push through a little harder, but instead I say, "Too hard, forget this. "
(this is not about experiencing pain; that's a different thing)
3. Looking at the amount of time it will take to hit my goals and giving up.
4. Making a bad plan which immediately sets me up for failure, so I just think, "There, that proves I can't lose weight." Bad plans include extreme diets, completely omitting macros because they are "bad," starving myself, using cleanses which only hurt my efforts and pathologizes food.
5. Not having a health buddy, whether it's online or in my real life. Always going it alone hasn't really worked out for me. With support, I have both accountability and a sensible voice urging me not to quit.
6. Let's face it, I'm lazy when it comes to exercise. "I really need to watch all 3 seasons of the Mighty Boosh, I'll go another time."
2 4 5 6
That's me 0 -
It is rare to see someone who has even a 100 or 200 day streak of logging in on MFP.
Um... I have a 581 day streak. Lots of people on my FL have streaks longer than mine. I guess my friends and I are the 5%.
Same. I have a 732 day streak and have logged all through pregnancy and now have an 8 week old and am still logging. A lot on my friends list are similar (except they don't all have babies lol).
I think some people maybe expect faster results and get fed up, or just have unrealistic goals.0 -
I find I don't have a set routine.
I'm basically lazy
I want it but obviously don't want it bad enough
I beat myself up for all of these excuses.
Life gets busy and I fall off the wagon. 0 -
I sitting at just a little over 1000 days logged in. I find consistency easy. From my experience, I think people that don't, are the ones that go 110% from day 1 and don't ease into things. One of my coworkers are a good example of this. From time to time, she picks up the latest diet-craze book, reads it from cover to cover, then she cuts out all the "bad" foods, gets super restrictive with her diet. She sticks with it for a little while then gives up. She also puts in all her progress on the scale. If she doesn't lose anything in 1 week or gains, she gets discouraged and gives up.
I don't cut out anything from my diet, aside from soda pop, I eat both good and bad. I don't focus on just the scale to track my progress. I also track my fitness levels, inches lost, strength gained, etc etc.0 -
I like this post, it really makes me think about why I "fall off of the wagon" and have to recommit so many times. Mostly I think I'm just lazy and yes I guess that is just another excuse, right along with I don't feel good today or I'm just not feeling it, so I'm not gonna go workout today. ALL JUST EXCUSES. I can think up a "good" excuse for anything that I really don't want to do. It is so easy to just keep doing what you have been doing for so many years. I am out of my comfort zone. I work at least 10 hours a day. I don't have time to cook a healthy meal, it is so much easier to just go through the drive thru and grab a burger and fries. ALL EXCUSES. I do think sometimes that maybe I just don't want it bad enough because if I did I would do what I have to do afterall I do know what I need to do. I find that when I get stuck and the scale is not moving (yes I am stuck on needing to see that number go down) that I start thinking why am I even doing all of this because obviously it is not working (even though I have already lost 50 pounds by doing this) so I should just not exercise and just eat whatever I want to. Maybe I can look back on this post when I am feeling this way and turn it around. Thanks for this post OP.0
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Interestingly, the excuse makers say that it's all the diet's fault, that diets don't work for 95% of people. When, really, these people cannot stay consistent.
I have my own ideas on why consistency is so hard for most people. What are yours? And, how can people improve their motivation to truly change and maintain a new lifestyle? How can we prevent relapse?
It's partly the diet's fault, partly the dieter's. Consistency is hard if it relies totally on discipline. We have only so much willpower. The diet (and exercise, if applicable) has to be both structured and flexible, because life will happen. It has to be something we want to do anyway, not because of some external goal. Good enough and being able to keep it up is way better than perfect and doomed for failure.0 -
People do want they truly want to do.
It's that simple.
I have no problem with this. In fact, I'm a big believer in people doing what we want. But I've promised myself that since we all have this energy hog of a frontal lobe taking up space in our skulls, I'm going to use mine to think carefully about what I really want instead of just throwing up my hands for no conscious reason and diving into the oreos, crescent rolls, non-dairy butter, dark chocolate, and all those other foods that don't have a face but definitely would make me fat again. Sometimes we do what we want, but if we'd really thought about it, we really wanted something else more.0
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