Being shocked by your "thin" self

ZeroTX

HappyCampr1 wrote: »

It took me about a year of maintenance before I was really ok with my weight. I actually stopped losing at five pounds overweight (I'd been second category obese, so still a huge loss for me). I stopped losing because I felt too tiny and I hadn't realized how much of my own self-image was caught up in feeling "sturdy". I like that feeling of sturdiness and being tiny makes me feel what I call insubstantial.

I totally understand what you mean. Growing up obese, I always at least had "well, I'm a BIG guy" going for me... I mean, nobody ever really tried to fight me (a 300lb 9th grader is formidable, even if not muscular)... I'm still 6'+ in height, but even at my current weight (about 78lbs until I reach goal!), parts of me feel "skinny." My abdomen has too much fat, but skin hangs from my arm, my wrists and fingers are so small that my jewelry is loose. It turns out, other than being slightly above average in height, I'm not really a "big" guy frame-wise. That's kind-of a let down, haha.

samgamgee

I'm a bit more than half way through my 40 lb weight loss at 138 (as a small framed 5'4" the extra weight is very noticable, especially on my face) and in the last week or so I've had a few double takes in the mirror: "oh, THAT'S what I used to look like before the weight gain, now I remember!" It's really very odd, it's like looking through a time portal as my face shape re-emerges.

WendyLaubach

As soon as I hit puberty I started carrying a little extra weight, maybe 10-15 lbs. (That seems like NOTHING now, but it was a big deal then.) In my 20s I dropped to about 115 or 120, which I think was a good weight for my 5'5" frame. I didn't feel skinny then, and I don't think I look skinny in pictures from that period, though I certainly can remember having a flat stomach and noticeable hip bones. It was nice. After that I gained for decades. If I can get back to 120, I don't expect to feel skinny or weird. When I look at very fit, trim women, as long as they have good muscle tone, they don't look skinny to me, they look great. And I'll be very happy to get back to being rather flat-chested. As a friend said, "I used to be a 34B, but now I'm a 44 long." There's nothing happy about big boobs when you're fat and old.

This was a fascinating thread. I lie in bed sometimes feeling for my hipbones, too! They're still in there, trying to emerge! Muscles are starting to emerge, too. Our body images are very odd. I've been having dreams lately about getting thinner--a sure sign my brain is struggling with this business.

erinmlav

QueenofHearts023 wrote: »

Yes I know the feeling. Although, I also like the feeling of being "fragile"? Bones sticking out makes me feel that way, even though I'm by no means weak.

Not that I need my bones to make me look that way, I'm really small framed.

On one side, I like being "fragile"/boney/thin/small (it makes me feel like a fairy - don't judge the geek!) and on the other side I miss my boobies, sitting down comfortably and so on. Love-hate relationship. but I'd rather be healthy and confident in my body. I was miserable when I was bigger.

I'm the opposite.(I love the imagery of you being a fairy or fairy like) I struggle with my self image that having less mass doesn't mean that I am fragile, tiny or small aka powerless. My smaller body is more physically powerful than my previous body. In my family of origin my mother was very petite and I equated it with powerlessness. I've been doing lots of self talk about how strong/powerful my body is and that less mass doesn't mean that I'm small. I hope this makes sense.