My boyfriend is obese

NormInv

In regards to "he argues back with something that his friend told him", I always love it when people who are fat tell me how to get fit! Seems like he needs an ultimatum. Me, or food and TV. Seriously, if he does, then he did it because he cares about BOTH of you. If he doesn't and you leave, then you haven't wasted any more of your time with someone who you aren't attracted to and will probably die much earlier than you.

The ultimatum will almost guarantee a crash diet and regain. It needs to be an honest life investment in self, or it won't stick. He doesn't seem to genuinely enjoy exercise if his hobbies are mostly sedentary. He won't have the momentum to maintain if it's a scare tactic ploy to change him. It all sounds so psychologically damaging that it would be better to break up if he and you can't run parallel lifestyles. It'll hurt, but lifes short and there's 6 billion "fish in sea."

well 3.5 billion of that fish is same gender (assuming she is straight).

of the remaining 2.5 billion, 1.0 billion are under the age of 18 (assuming she only seeks US legals).

Of the 1.5 billion, 800 million are already married.

of the remaining 700 million, 550 million live on other continents.

of the remaining 150 million, 149 million live in other states.

of the remaining 1 million, 985000 are registered sex offenders.

of the remaining 15000, she is related to 14900

of the last 100, 86 are obese, and the other 14 root for the New York Yankees

Meerataila

In regards to "he argues back with something that his friend told him", I always love it when people who are fat tell me how to get fit! Seems like he needs an ultimatum. Me, or food and TV. Seriously, if he does, then he did it because he cares about BOTH of you. If he doesn't and you leave, then you haven't wasted any more of your time with someone who you aren't attracted to and will probably die much earlier than you.

The ultimatum will almost guarantee a crash diet and regain. It needs to be an honest life investment in self, or it won't stick. He doesn't seem to genuinely enjoy exercise if his hobbies are mostly sedentary. He won't have the momentum to maintain if it's a scare tactic ploy to change him. It all sounds so psychologically damaging that it would be better to break up if he and you can't run parallel lifestyles. It'll hurt, but lifes short and there's 6 billion "fish in sea."

well 3.5 billion of that fish is same gender (assuming she is straight).

of the remaining 2.5 billion, 1.0 billion are under the age of 18 (assuming she only seeks US legals).

Of the 1.5 billion, 800 million are already married.

of the remaining 700 million, 550 million live on other continents.

of the remaining 150 million, 149 million live in other states.

of the remaining 1 million, 985000 are registered sex offenders.

of the remaining 15000, she is related to 14900

of the last 100, 86 are obese, and the other 14 root for the New York Yankees

Please tell me these are made up out of thin air. Otherwise, you've cemented my decision to move to another country ASAP.

Rocky791

It sounds like he is suffering from depression and that needs to be addressed first.

SonicDeathMonkey80

In regards to "he argues back with something that his friend told him", I always love it when people who are fat tell me how to get fit! Seems like he needs an ultimatum. Me, or food and TV. Seriously, if he does, then he did it because he cares about BOTH of you. If he doesn't and you leave, then you haven't wasted any more of your time with someone who you aren't attracted to and will probably die much earlier than you.

The ultimatum will almost guarantee a crash diet and regain. It needs to be an honest life investment in self, or it won't stick. He doesn't seem to genuinely enjoy exercise if his hobbies are mostly sedentary. He won't have the momentum to maintain if it's a scare tactic ploy to change him. It all sounds so psychologically damaging that it would be better to break up if he and you can't run parallel lifestyles. It'll hurt, but lifes short and there's 6 billion "fish in sea."

well 3.5 billion of that fish is same gender (assuming she is straight).

of the remaining 2.5 billion, 1.0 billion are under the age of 18 (assuming she only seeks US legals).

Of the 1.5 billion, 800 million are already married.

of the remaining 700 million, 550 million live on other continents.

of the remaining 150 million, 149 million live in other states.

of the remaining 1 million, 985000 are registered sex offenders.

of the remaining 15000, she is related to 14900

of the last 100, 86 are obese, and the other 14 root for the New York Yankees

Please tell me these are made up out of thin air. Otherwise, you've cemented my decision to move to another country ASAP.

The other country is China

Rocky791

well 3.5 billion of that fish is same gender (assuming she is straight).

of the remaining 2.5 billion, 1.0 billion are under the age of 18 (assuming she only seeks US legals).

Of the 1.5 billion, 800 million are already married.

of the remaining 700 million, 550 million live on other continents.

of the remaining 150 million, 149 million live in other states.

of the remaining 1 million, 985000 are registered sex offenders.

of the remaining 15000, she is related to 14900

of the last 100, 86 are obese, and the other 14 root for the New York Yankees

ha - too funny!

2BeHappy2

Is CLAUDUCHINNO a Male Or Female??
The poster says he's Male but the profile says Female from Perth,Wa but in the About Me it says Perth, Western Australia :huh:
If people are adding this person I would say they would think they were adding a Female by the name & pic, not a Male :indifferent:
BTW...Only going by His own words of saying he's a "male"

Meerataila

The other country is China

Hm. Might be an option. I don't like their rulers any more than I do ours, but the men are better looking on average.

adamtlatham

Did you have a hard time following the story?

Alluminati

The other country is China

Hm. Might be an option. I don't like their rulers any more than I do ours, but the men are better looking on average.

They eat bugs, though. You won't make it.

jkal1979

Is CLAUDUCHINNO a Male Or Female??
The poster says he's Male but the profile says Female from Perth,Wa but in the About Me it says Perth, Western Australia :huh:
If people are adding this person I would say they would think they were adding a Female by the name & pic, not a Male :indifferent:
BTW...Only going by His own words of saying he's a "male"

No, she's just saying that she was in the same situation, just on the other side of it.

Deipneus

That was one of the faster OP account deactivations.

Meerataila

The other country is China

Hm. Might be an option. I don't like their rulers any more than I do ours, but the men are better looking on average.

They eat bugs, though. You won't make it.

So does every processed food eating American. Most just don't know it. I'd just have an easy time keeping my weight down. And my hypothetical husband would have to stock up on plenty of mouthwash for himself! Bug breath. Ew!

Alluminati

The other country is China

Hm. Might be an option. I don't like their rulers any more than I do ours, but the men are better looking on average.

They eat bugs, though. You won't make it.

So does every processed food eating American. Most just don't know it. I'd just have an easy time keeping my weight down. And my hypothetical husband would have to stock up on plenty of mouthwash for himself! Bug breath. Ew!

Mmmmmm...he looks like your type. Omnomnom

Meerataila

Mmmmmm...he looks like your type. Omnomnom

So glad I wasn't planning on eating again tonight! :laugh:

aarnoldmcf

Wow, I feel for you. You see someone you love self-destructing right in front of you. A train wreck is ahead and you cannot stop it. I would not share with him the paragraph because that may anger him and push him further in the opposite direction. If his behavior is not compatible to yours, whether it's weight loss, drinking, character traits etc, you will have issues and I would not advise you to consider marriage unless you want to be stressed out on a regular basis.

What I hear in your words is that you are not happy anymore in the relationship because you feel that you two are no longer compatible. Health and wellness is very important to you and you find it scary to love someone whom you fear you will lose due to lifestyle. If you are becoming a nutritionist, this is your passion and you don't see how you can be happy with someone who has a conflict with your life passion. In other words, someone like Dr. Oz would not be able to stay in a relationship with someone whose passion is cooking for taste and not health, like Paula Dean used to be. No offense to either of them, but they are at two extremes of the spectrum.

You could see if he would consider being your fitness pal and tell him to eat like he wants to and put it in the journal, just to see what he's currently eating. This has worked for me with friends who did not believe me about poritions and calories. It was eye opening and they were shocked. I told them to eat normally and just track their food for a week. If he is not willing to do this, after you explain and have your heart to heart talk, I see no hope for you two to be happy in your relationship. Maybe he will know you are serious if you tell him you would prefer to be apart than watch him destroy himself. It's a scary movie that you'd prefer to not watch. If he is not ready to change, you cannot change him. All you can do is provide the information and be patient. Some times we get fed up in the process and have to move on.

SonicDeathMonkey80

Mmmmmm...he looks like your type. Omnomnom

So glad I wasn't planning on eating again tonight! :laugh:

But is it paleo?

Ilikelamps

Mmmmmm...he looks like your type. Omnomnom

SherryTeach

I'm quite sure that if I were as young as you and not physically attracted to my partner, I would end the relationship. You also do not admire his values or lifestyle. So, what's the draw?

sickofbeinginpain

"Obese" means nothing. "Obese" does not mean not healthy. If he is being unhealthy, talk to him about what he can do to change his health. Don't judge him by the size of his belt.

hearthwood

People can't change other peoples bad habits. Married or not you'll never change him unless he wants to. You can talk till you're blue in the face, you can threaten him, you can take him to a doctor and try to get him scared straight, but nothing you do or say is going to change him until he wants to change himself.