He doesn't even lift.

Ferrous_Female_Dog

Hey. I've been around enough to see how relationship posts go, so give me your best.

My boyfriend doesn't lift. I lift. This isn't a dealbreaker.

Now that that's out of the way, let's say I wanted to suggest to him that he start lifting. What would be the most effective way to do it?

Through lifting I learned certain skills. I learned a lot about setting goals, discipline, time management, commitment, and consistency. I also found a great way to relieve stress and add routine to my life.

These are areas in which my boyfriend could use improvement. Additionally, it would give us an activity to do together and bond over. Lastly, there are health and aesthetic benefits to lifting.

What is the best way to approach this topic?

twiggypal

tell him you like built guys. if hes not then he';; work on it. easy......call him a stick insect. grow arms bigger than his. grow a penis bigger than his........I hope this helps ;-)

Ferrous_Female_Dog

tell him you like built guys. if hes not then he';; work on it. easy......call him a stick insect. grow arms bigger than his. grow a penis bigger than his........I hope this helps ;-)

Strong 400th post. Hope your friends get a kick out of it.

jnichel

Just break up.

ew_david

Let's reverse: How would you like being told by your boyfriend you had areas of improvement he'd like you to work on?

DBoone85

Let's reverse: How would you like being told by your boyfriend you had areas of improvement he'd like you to work on?

My BF did that with me. I started swallowing cucumbers whole for practice, and before you know it, he quit complaining....

Ferrous_Female_Dog

Let's reverse: How would you like being told by your boyfriend you had areas of improvement he'd like you to work on?

I'd be happy to hear them and would work on them. I have. I respond very well to criticism and I've always addressed any issues he's pointed out to me.

To name some:

Taking out a bad work day on him or others
Being inconsistent (see above-- worked on it)
Being impatient (still working on it)
Not talking over others during a disagreement

Ferrous_Female_Dog

Hey. I've been around enough to see how relationship posts go, so give me your best.

My boyfriend doesn't lift. I lift. This isn't a dealbreaker.

Now that that's out of the way, let's say I wanted to suggest to him that he start lifting. What would be the most effective way to do it?

Through lifting I learned certain skills. I learned a lot about setting goals, discipline, time management, commitment, and consistency. I also found a great way to relieve stress and add routine to my life.

These are areas in which my boyfriend could use improvement. Additionally, it would give us an activity to do together and bond over. Lastly, there are health and aesthetic benefits to lifting.

What is the best way to approach this topic?

Two words.....Reward System. He lifts 1x per week....he gets a handy, 3x bj, 5x back door.....the possibilities are endless

This... I could work with. But it feels kind of one sided. Those would be rewards for me as well.

canadjineh

'List of improvements??' :huh: If he isn't what you want now, he ain't ever gonna be. You can't change them, no matter how many 'suggestions you make.' Changes can only come from within ourselves. Choose the model you want at the start - like a car. There's no use buying a hatchback if you want a Monster truck in your deepest heart, lol.

msbunnie68

How about "Babe... come lift with me. I think that would be hot."

canadjineh

'List of improvements??' :huh: If he isn't what you want now, he ain't ever gonna be. You can't change them, no matter how many 'suggestions you make.' Changes can only come from within ourselves. Choose the model you want at the start - like a car. There's no use buying a hatchback if you want a Monster truck in your deepest heart, lol.

Sex as a 'reward' just makes you a ho. He gives you weight lifting, you give him sex. Bad move. Sex should be mutual pleasure for fun, you guys, not reward for lifestyle changes, Sheesh!

sunglasses_and_ocean_waves

Let's reverse: How would you like being told by your boyfriend you had areas of improvement he'd like you to work on?

I'd be happy to hear them and would work on them. I have. I respond very well to criticism and I've always addressed any issues he's pointed out to me.

To name some:

Taking out a bad work day on him or others
Being inconsistent (see above-- worked on it)
Being impatient (still working on it)
Not talking over others during a disagreement

Oh please. I bet you'll prove that statement wrong in this thread.

Why are you going out with someone who you don't feel is good enough for you? Either take him as he is or find someone better suited for you.

ew_david

Let's reverse: How would you like being told by your boyfriend you had areas of improvement he'd like you to work on?

I'd be happy to hear them and would work on them. I have. I respond very well to criticism and I've always addressed any issues he's pointed out to me.

To name some:

Taking out a bad work day on him or others
Being inconsistent (see above-- worked on it)
Being impatient (still working on it)
Not talking over others during a disagreement

None of those require you to change your aesthetics, like you are wanting him to do for you.

AsaThorsWoman

Are you lifting in a gym?

My boyfriend got me more involved in lifting (I already did it a bit in the gym, but now we do it 2-3 times a week together) by buying a standard barbell and weight set for the home.

We shared for a couple of months (that was a pain, constantly changing the weights to accommodate our partner, prolonged workouts), and finally he bought a second set. Now we can literally go rep for rep together, even though we lift different weights.

I believe this is the sets we have:

http://www.academy.com/shop/pdp/cap-barbell-160-lb-boxed-weight-set/pid-127305?N=117009183&Ntt=weight+set&Ntk=All

but they only cost about $80 each in the store, and had everything you need.

It's so much fun.

As we near the end of our reps we both having crunched up faces and grunting together, and we can work out in my living room!

skippygirlsmom

Hey. I've been around enough to see how relationship posts go, so give me your best.

My boyfriend doesn't lift. I lift. This isn't a dealbreaker.

Now that that's out of the way, let's say I wanted to suggest to him that he start lifting. What would be the most effective way to do it?

Through lifting I learned certain skills. I learned a lot about setting goals, discipline, time management, commitment, and consistency. I also found a great way to relieve stress and add routine to my life.

These are areas in which my boyfriend could use improvement. Additionally, it would give us an activity to do together and bond over. Lastly, there are health and aesthetic benefits to lifting.

What is the best way to approach this topic?

Two words.....Reward System. He lifts 1x per week....he gets a handy, 3x bj, 5x back door.....the possibilities are endless

This... I could work with. But it feels kind of one sided. Those would be rewards for me as well.

You would get what you want, he will lift, that is your reward.

jackpotclown

well for starters.....smack him around......that'll effectively emasculate him to the point of either doing something about it aka get stronger or he'll run off and cry...and you won't hear from him again.....either way, problem solved \end thread
\m/

Johnplusfour

Hey. I've been around enough to see how relationship posts go, so give me your best.

My boyfriend doesn't lift. I lift. This isn't a dealbreaker.

Now that that's out of the way, let's say I wanted to suggest to him that he start lifting. What would be the most effective way to do it?

Through lifting I learned certain skills. I learned a lot about setting goals, discipline, time management, commitment, and consistency. I also found a great way to relieve stress and add routine to my life.

These are areas in which my boyfriend could use improvement. Additionally, it would give us an activity to do together and bond over. Lastly, there are health and aesthetic benefits to lifting.

What is the best way to approach this topic?

The best way to approach this is to take a step back and refocus on what you expect out of the relationship. Do you want him to have that passive personality where he mods his life to suit your needs? Once you begin attempting to mold him into what you want in a man then you begin to lose sight of him as a person. He becomes your project or toy to make adjustments to. Don't forget that this is a relationship that was established because you both liked each other for who you are individually. Not for what you can make him into.

If what you see in guys at the gym is more appealing then go that route. Otherwise, you should embrace him for who he is.

twiggypal

tell him you like built guys. if hes not then he';; work on it. easy......call him a stick insect. grow arms bigger than his. grow a penis bigger than his........I hope this helps ;-)

Strong 400th post. Hope your friends get a kick out of it.

wait I didn't ask.....are you male or female. distinct lack of balls but a little girly.

George_Baileys_Ghost

Let's reverse: How would you like being told by your boyfriend you had areas of improvement he'd like you to work on?

My BF did that with me. I started swallowing cucumbers whole for practice, and before you know it, he quit complaining....

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY WEDDING RING!

Ferrous_Female_Dog

None of those require you to change your aesthetics, like you are wanting him to do for you.

Aesthetics were the last thing I listed. I love the way he looks now. Is there room for improvement? Of course.

I want him to lift with me for all the other things I listed and if it never changed how he looked, I'd be totally okay with that, however I would be lying if I ignored the fact that a better body composition is a bonus incentive.

Oh please. I bet you'll prove that statement wrong in this thread.

Why are you going out with someone who you don't feel is good enough for you? Either take him as he is or find someone better suited for you.

Hmm. Never said he wasn't good enough for me. Said there were areas which he could improve. Said lifting could help improve them.

And the first thing I said was that this wasn't a deal breaker.

Again, asking for how best to bring up the subject.

Edited for grammar.

DBoone85

well for starters.....smack him around......that'll effectively emasculate him to the point of either doing something about it aka get stronger or he'll run off and cry...and you won't hear from him again.....either way, problem solved \end thread
\m/

I love you Father Jackpot!

InForBacon

How about "Babe... come lift with me. I think that would be hot."

Shoot, I'd lift then.

AsaThorsWoman

Ok...

I guess there's a huge un-answered question here:

Does your boyfriend even work out at all?

The reason this works so well with my BF and I, is that we already worked out a lot when we met, and as part of our bonding explored each others styles of working out together.

I started doing more Parkour, Lifting, and Sword Fighting.

He started doing more swimming and going for walks.

But we were both already into fitness from the get go, and very open to exploring that hobby with our partner.

That makes a huge difference.

It was already part of or life style.

Does he work-out at all right now?

Ferrous_Female_Dog

Ok...

I guess there's a huge un-answered question here:

Does your boyfriend even work out at all?

The reason this works so well with my BF and I, is that we already worked out a lot when we met, and as part of our bonding explored each others styles of working out together.

I started doing more Parkour, Lifting, and Sword Fighting.

He started doing more swimming and going for walks.

But we were both already into fitness from the get go, and very open to exploring that hobby with our partner.

That makes a huge difference.

It was already part of or life style.

Does he work-out at all right now?

He doesn't work out in a regimented sense but he is active for fun. We go on bike rides, we go hiking, and swimming, he plays football, basketball and handball some weekends with friends and his brothers.

usmcmp

"Hey, I'm going to go to the gym. Would you like to come with me?"

Anything other than that is going to come off as critical of him personally. Your first post sounds like you are trying to change who he is because you think he needs "help" in certain areas of life. I know you say you like him as is, but you are still trying to change him whether you realize it or not.

Galatea_Stone

If you can't say "I want to lift with you" or "I would like you to give lifting a try," then you're asking us how to manipulate him into doing what you want without him realizing that what you're doing is manipulating him into doing what you want.

No. I'm not going to tell you how to manipulate your boyfriend into doing what you want. I'm a direct individual. I'm also accepting of other people's wants. If he doesn't want to lift, that's his business. All you can, and should, do is be direct and say you'd like it if he did.

Jacwhite22

Ok...

I guess there's a huge un-answered question here:

Does your boyfriend even work out at all?

The reason this works so well with my BF and I, is that we already worked out a lot when we met, and as part of our bonding explored each others styles of working out together.

I started doing more Parkour, Lifting, and Sword Fighting.

He started doing more swimming and going for walks.

But we were both already into fitness from the get go, and very open to exploring that hobby with our partner.

That makes a huge difference.

It was already part of or life style.

Does he work-out at all right now?

He doesn't work out in a regimented sense but he is active for fun. We go on bike rides, we go hiking, and swimming, he plays football, basketball and handball some weekends with friends and his brothers.

handball? with his friends and brothers? I wouldn't tell everyone on the internet about that.

Ferrous_Female_Dog

If you can't say "I want to lift with you" or "I would like you to give lifting a try," then you're asking us how to manipulate him into doing what you want without him realizing that what you're doing is manipulating him into doing what you want.

No. I'm not going to tell you how to manipulate your boyfriend into doing what you want. I'm a direct individual. I'm also accepting of other people's wants. If he doesn't want to lift, that's his business. All you can, and should, do is be direct and say you'd like it if he did.

LOL.

I've never brought it up before. I am not asking for tips on how to manipulate him.

That's one vote for the direct approach. Thank you.

Ferrous_Female_Dog

"Hey, I'm going to go to the gym. Would you like to come with me?"

Anything other than that is going to come off as critical of him personally. Your first post sounds like you are trying to change who he is because you think he needs "help" in certain areas of life. I know you say you like him as is, but you are still trying to change him whether you realize it or not.

You're right.

cmcollins001

Just tell him you'd like to improve your PRs and that you would really appreciate if he would come with you and spot you. He might decide to start picking some stuff up and putting it back down.

yopeeps025

How about "Babe... come lift with me. I think that would be hot."

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