Help - Parenting Advice

odusgolp

So, I have a 7 year old boy, turning 8 and starting 3rd grade this August. He's a great kid. Good in school, smart, gets sarcasm and has a damn good sense of humor, cuddly, loving and sweet, active in baseball & karate, blah blah blah.

The thing is, he's VERY sensitive. Last night, came in crying that another girl playing outside wouldn't give him back his ball and was being mean (she's a super sweet kid, I think he was just tired). He cried when my boyfriend ate his peanut butter cup. He cries if he even THINKS he's being made fun of even though he's not. For example, I told a story of how he ate an entire zucchini, cause I think it's awesome he eats so good... he cried saying I was making fun of him.

He just... cries a lot (nearly daily) and takes everything very personally. He gets upset VERY easily.

So, psychoanalyze. Is this just something he'll grow out of? How normal is this for a 7/8 year old? Anything I can do? He's an only child and struggles with not always "winning" or "getting his way." He'll cry if he loses in a video game against me LOL He just... cries.

jnichel

Three boys. Two went through it, third one (8yo) currently going through it.

DBoone85

My dad always said if I cried, he would give me something to really cry about. I am not sure what that means, but maybe you should say that to him. Repeatedly.

jaclync324

I could have written this post. I have a 7 year old too. Mine is going into 2nd grade. He cries ALL the time. He most recently cried on the 4th of July. I think it's from an inability to explain himself properly and the frustration that causes. I am so glad you posted this because it makes me feel like it's normal. No one else has ever brought it to my attention so that also makes me feel better. I say he's A OK.

SonicDeathMonkey80

Tell him to HTFU

Some_Watery_Tart

In to see what input you get. My youngest daughter is the same way. It's a little better after a year of regular therapy visits. But she's still so incredibly sensitive about everything. Hugs, mama. I feel your pain. :ohwell:

vab_spencer

I have five kids. Sounds perfectly normal. Try to be patient with him. It will pass. And your boyfriend shouldn't be eating his peanut butter cups, that's just wrong.

odusgolp

I have five kids. Sounds perfectly normal. Try to be patient with him. It will pass. And your boyfriend shouldn't be eating his peanut butter cups, that's just wrong.

LOL Trust me, he learned his lesson and now often brings him random peanut butter cups as a peace offering

MeganAnne89

So, I have a 7 year old boy, turning 8 and starting 3rd grade this August. He's a great kid. Good in school, smart, gets sarcasm and has a damn good sense of humor, cuddly, loving and sweet, active in baseball & karate, blah blah blah.

The thing is, he's VERY sensitive. Last night, came in crying that another girl playing outside wouldn't give him back his ball and was being mean (she's a super sweet kid, I think he was just tired). He cried when my boyfriend ate his peanut butter cup. He cries if he even THINKS he's being made fun of even though he's not. For example, I told a story of how he ate an entire zucchini, cause I think it's awesome he eats so good... he cried saying I was making fun of him.

He just... cries a lot (nearly daily) and takes everything very personally. He gets upset VERY easily.

So, psychoanalyze. Is this just something he'll grow out of? How normal is this for a 7/8 year old? Anything I can do? He's an only child and struggles with not always "winning" or "getting his way." He'll cry if he loses in a video game against me LOL He just... cries.

Okay. I think the first thing that you have to remember is that having a boy who is sensitive isn't a bad thing. It means that he's more compassionate, prone to being a peace maker, he thinks about the consequences of things before he acts, he can deeply feel love from another person, be more responsible, etc. All of those are great qualities in anyone so I think that you should celebrate those. A lot of children lack emotional connections to people and things so it's really awesome that that's not a problem for your child.

I think it's very important for you to celebrate his qualities and support him in how he feels because you don't want him growing up in a home-life that reprimands him for feeling the emotions that he feels. When it comes to sensitive people, when they get yelled at or they're told that the way that they're feeling is stupid or incorrect, they can feel guilt, shame, or sadness more than someone who isn't hyper-sensitive. Positive reinforcement and also slightly more gentle correction, I think, if he were to do something wrong or overreact would be the way to go.

All of that being sad, it's extremely important that with your support you don't smother him and you let him really see the outside world for what it is. So just let him be sometimes independent and encourage him to hang out with his friends from school and go to birthday parties, play sports, whatever it may be that you think would be beneficial for him to "get out there."

odusgolp

I'm feeling much better that this is "normal."

AllOutof_Bubblegum

To be fair, I'd cry if someone ate MY peanut butter cup, too.

DBoone85

I have five kids. Sounds perfectly normal. Try to be patient with him. It will pass. And your boyfriend shouldn't be eating his peanut butter cups, that's just wrong.

LOL Trust me, he learned his lesson and now often brings him random peanut butter cups as a peace offering

Maybe he has a peanut allergy. This can cause intermittent crying and feelings of hopelessness.....

Jen2Bfit

I have a 9 year old daughter that does the same thing. She is wonderful in all aspects and a very good kid but she can cry almost if you look at her wrong. I do not have any advice although I am enjoying reading the posts here and glad that I am not alone-lol. I too hope this is something that she will eventually grow out of. I have an older daughter as well who never really went through this. She just kind of toughs things out but when something says something remotely "wrong" to my little one I cringe because I know she is going to start crying. Thanks for posting, maybe I will come across a post with some helpful advice. :-)

odusgolp

So, I have a 7 year old boy, turning 8 and starting 3rd grade this August. He's a great kid. Good in school, smart, gets sarcasm and has a damn good sense of humor, cuddly, loving and sweet, active in baseball & karate, blah blah blah.

The thing is, he's VERY sensitive. Last night, came in crying that another girl playing outside wouldn't give him back his ball and was being mean (she's a super sweet kid, I think he was just tired). He cried when my boyfriend ate his peanut butter cup. He cries if he even THINKS he's being made fun of even though he's not. For example, I told a story of how he ate an entire zucchini, cause I think it's awesome he eats so good... he cried saying I was making fun of him.

He just... cries a lot (nearly daily) and takes everything very personally. He gets upset VERY easily.

So, psychoanalyze. Is this just something he'll grow out of? How normal is this for a 7/8 year old? Anything I can do? He's an only child and struggles with not always "winning" or "getting his way." He'll cry if he loses in a video game against me LOL He just... cries.

Okay. I think the first thing that you have to remember is that having a boy who is sensitive isn't a bad thing. It means that he's more compassionate, prone to being a peace maker, he thinks about the consequences of things before he acts, he can deeply feel love from another person, be more responsible, etc. All of those are great qualities in anyone so I think that you should celebrate those. A lot of children lack emotional connections to people and things so it's really awesome that that's not a problem for your child.

I think it's very important for you to celebrate his qualities and support him in how he feels because you don't want him growing up in a home-life that reprimands him for feeling the emotions that he feels. When it comes to sensitive people, when they get yelled at or they're told that the way that they're feeling is stupid or incorrect, they can feel guilt, shame, or sadness more than someone who isn't hyper-sensitive. Positive reinforcement and also slightly more gentle correction, I think, if he were to do something wrong or overreact would be the way to go.

All of that being sad, it's extremely important that with your support you don't smother him and you don't let him really see the outside world for what it is. So just let him be sometimes independent and encourage him to hang out with his friends from school and go to birthday parties, play sports, whatever it may be that you think would be beneficial for him to "get out there."

I am a little bit of a coddler... and sensitive myself. So it can be a challenge to not overly compensate with "Oh baby, I'm so sorry I won Mario Kart, it won't happen again." LOL

Totally agree with what you said, though. I love that he's not some unfeeling bully, and that he is my little nugget of emotion. He's the kid that will play with my hair or rub my neck if I had a bad day... that's just gold.

BootCampC

My Kids learned at a very early age to hide candy from dad!
as far as crying he will grow out of it , that's his way of getting what he wants , this will fade when it doesn't work. its better than my nephew who would hit other kids to get what he wanted ..

fuhrmeister

No real advice to give but to listen patiently. My step son was 13 when I met his Dad and is 21 now. He has alway been sensitive since I've known him. But I'll say it is wonderful to see they way he treats others. He is sensitive to thier feelings and has a great respect for women. Good luck!

cmcollins001

I think most kids go through some sort of phase like that. I know when my son did I would just look at him and ask him why he was crying...most of the time he didn't even know.

Now...when he started crying when he got older (around 11-12), I told him he had no reason to cry, but if he wanted one, I would be happy to give him a reason to cry. Then I ate his Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Both of them. Right in front of him. AND drank his milk. He still cries when he thinks about it and he'll be 20 next month.

MeganAnne89

I am a little bit of a coddler... and sensitive myself. So it can be a challenge to not overly compensate with "Oh baby, I'm so sorry I won Mario Kart, it won't happen again." LOL

Totally agree with what you said, though. I love that he's not some unfeeling bully, and that he is my little nugget of emotion. He's the kid that will play with my hair or rub my neck if I had a bad day... that's just gold.

Lol I hear you, I think if you play something like that with him again and you beat him and he starts crying, I think I would say something like, "I'm sorry you lost, honey, but it's alright, it's just a game. Maybe you'll beat me next time." I think that would be alright because you're giving him support but also expressing that hell, that's just life sometimes.