Which one is harder?

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lina1131
lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
(Someone posted this on another board and i'm interested to see what your opinions are)

Being Married

Or

Being a Parent
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Replies

  • littlemamajamie
    littlemamajamie Posts: 118 Member
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    I say being a parent but I'm told that my husband and I get along way better than most couples and I've seen this too. :)
  • AmberBarrios
    AmberBarrios Posts: 394 Member
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    They both have their difficult points in different ways. I couldn't say one or the other, you have different love for your spouse than you do your children and the anquish in difficult times is also different but the same.
  • CroakerNorge
    CroakerNorge Posts: 165 Member
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    I have no idea, I've never been either (thankfully, for me).
    Me and my boyfriend are going on 10 years together, it's not broken, so we're not fixing it.
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
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    Being a Parent.

    Being married is like any other relationship - WORK! It takes work, however, you're dealing with (hopefully) another adult who has (hopefully) roughly the same maturity level as yourself and you've committed to working out problems together.

    Being a parent is also WORK, however, you're dealing with children who can't necessarily be reasoned with (until they are much older, and then they REBEL) and also, as a parent ... you WORRY!! You have hopes, dreams, wants, wishes, needs in regards to your children and you strive your whole life to help them accomplish those. It's the MOST rewarding job/experience you'll ever have, however, there are a lot of trials and tribulations along the way (especially in my case, I have twins who suffer from an incurable fatal disease).

    I love being married, and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being a mother, but there are definitely "harder" parts to raising children.
  • danniv71
    danniv71 Posts: 3
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    Being a parent - most definitely! And I have a wonderful daughter!
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
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    I'm both a parent and a husband and, I have to say that my wife and daughters have helped me to be a much better person. Doesn't seem difficult at all. Very rewarding, in fact.
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
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    I said being Married - And I have a wonderful husband.
  • mommyhof3
    mommyhof3 Posts: 551 Member
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    Being a parent hands down! I have 3 kids and my husband and I have been together for 15 years tomorrow. You are raising your children and hoping they become the best that they can be. Hopefully your husband is adult enough to be your partner in raising your kids instead of another child
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
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    Also, I don't think harder = worse.

    I do think it takes a lot of work to be in a marriage. Getting to know each other, how each other works, agreeing on how you are going to parent, loving each other even when you are in a fight, etc.
  • CGerman
    CGerman Posts: 539
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    I think being a parent is harder than being married. Not necessarily because kids are hard work (which they obviously are) but the emotional attachment to them. I love my husband to death - but when my kids were born it was just a completely different feeling. It's like a peice of me is out walking around and living its life, and while I can help them and guide them - I can't control how their lives turn out. As rewarding as parenthood is - it can also be terrifying :laugh:
  • ivyjbres
    ivyjbres Posts: 612 Member
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    I don't know, but I can say wither is easier than both!
  • MisdemeanorM
    MisdemeanorM Posts: 3,493 Member
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    being married!

    at least with kids it's - kids will be kids - what is his excuse!?!

    (Though, there is not much difference being a parent or wife... one child just weighs more than you!)
  • ♡MyCurves
    ♡MyCurves Posts: 104 Member
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    married
  • tanias11
    tanias11 Posts: 52
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    being married. hand down! being a parent is so easy although it takes a lot to take care of a baby and no sleep and blah blah blah but being married is way harder
  • bluiz13
    bluiz13 Posts: 3,550 Member
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    i think they are equally hard in their own ways.....i know that is a cop out but it is true...

    you dont really have a choice being a parent...you are and you deal with it.....you love your kids unconditionally even if it is a struggle daily to like them LOL....

    i guess being married is harder because you HAVE to make it work if you want it to.....you dont HAVE to make it but if being a part of a pair is what you want than you have to do what it takes, compromise, make concessions, give in to shiat you dont want to just to keep the peace..

    perfect example.....
    my husband has been picking our 2 kids up twice a week from aftercare/daycare so i can go running right from work for 45 mins or less......it has been working out fine as far as i knew....but last night i walk into a whole frigging screaming crying yelling banging and slamming mess......he picked up the kids, brought them home and then went "back to" work upstairs (he works from home)....my 3 yr old was giving him a hard time from downstairs, she got into some toys and made a huge crashing sound and he spilled coffee all over a huge pile of pictures from when i was a kid trying to get to her to make sure she was okay....well of course he was yelling and screaming at her because he was frustrated because he just wanted to finish his work....i walked into the whole big mess...she was crying telling me daddy yelled at her, he was screaming and yelling upstairs and banging shiat around supposedly trying to clean up the mess ( i honestly think he made the mess just then being an a*s and slamming stuff around but whatever)....after calming her down, i of course said i would stop running on monday and wednesday nights to make his life easier when all he has to do is get the kids at 550ish and bring them home and deal with them until i get home at 615ish...he just has to put his work on hold for 35mins or so from the time he leaves to get them until when i walk in the door...then he can finish if he needs to while i tend to them...he would get more done and be "less" stressed without the worry of what are they doing downstairs while he's upstairs.....he said no dont change your schedule but it is very stressful for me to know that chaos is going on at home when i'm out running but on the flip side i should be able to have my time without feeling guilty about it.....

    okay i decided - being a wife is harder - i think we have to have WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY more give and take....
  • kennedar
    kennedar Posts: 306 Member
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    No kids yet, but I have to guess that having kids will be harder. Marriage has thus far (18 months in) been very easy! We hardly ever fight, and love spending time together.
  • jsecret
    jsecret Posts: 606 Member
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    I have a terrific husband but I think being married is harder than being a parent.

    I think, too me at least, that biological grasp between my son and I is just overwhelming and makes everything easier. Even my husband has said he would choose our son over me if it came down to it!
  • HidyleDidyle
    HidyleDidyle Posts: 147
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    Being a parent. The responsibility level being a parent versus being a spouse is completely different. Both take effort, and grace...but if I don't feed my husband, he's not going to starve. As a parent you are responsible not only for the physical needs of your child, but also nurturing their personality, character, teaching them how to fit in (or not fit in) to our world. I have two little autistic kids, and this is the hardest journey I have ever been on. If I were just married, it would be a cakewalk (but then I wouldn't know it because I wouldn't be able to compare it to having children!).

    But, despite the challenges, it is good to learn and grow and change as a an adult too! And I wouldn't be who I am now without my two peanuts.
  • CroakerNorge
    CroakerNorge Posts: 165 Member
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    I will tell you, I applaud my boyfriend for thinking he wants kids, but I don't think he could handle it.
    And, I'm not willing to pick up the slack, which I know I would.

    I could see it now... me, pick up kid from daycare after work, get dinner made, kid fed, kid to bed at a decent hour, clean dishes, sit down for two seconds, go to bed, and do it all again tomorrow. No way in hellz am I signing up for that.

    I like my career, I like my hobbies, I like my freedom.
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
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    I will tell you, I applaud my boyfriend for thinking he wants kids, but I don't think he could handle it.
    And, I'm not willing to pick up the slack, which I know I would.

    I could see it now... me, pick up kid from daycare after work, get dinner made, kid fed, kid to bed at a decent hour, clean dishes, sit down for two seconds, go to bed, and do it all again tomorrow. No way in hellz am I signing up for that.

    I like my career, I like my hobbies, I like my freedom.

    My life, right there. :smokin: But I love my life. :bigsmile:

    ETA: I have to say that my husband actually cooks dinner on the days he is off and home for dinner. He's a great help with our daughter and I am very lucky.

    But the man can't put socks in a hamper to save his life.

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