Which one is harder?

Laceylala

Oh and I agree - either would be easier than both. And perhaps that is why marriage and children at the same time is so crazy!

CricketKate

Being a parent makes being married harder. I have a fantastic husband and four wonderful children. I find that I have to work a lot harder at things that used to come easily with my spouse just because the children take up so much time and energy. It is harder to make time for dating and watching football and cooking things for work parties. My husband will ask me to come watch a game with him and he's trying to tell me to relax but all I can see is the unfolded laundry and the dirty dishes. I know that I was a better and more easy going wife before I became a mother.

CricketKate

Bump

sayuri1

I feel the same way!! I mean babies are so cute and you want to have the experience but it's a lifelong commitment and all the pressure it puts on your marriage. I've been with my happy for six years and people always asks us when we are going to start having children but we are happy like we are for now. Besides I don't like having to sacrifice my sleep.

I read all these responses curiously because I am newly married and I give a lot of thought to whether or not to have children. Most of the time I think it will not happen, it would be a conscious decision and there will never be enough time or money, will never have done all that we wanted to, and even the choices between going back to work and leaving my baby with strangers, or not going back to work and spending all day with baby both sound horrible. I am not sure why anyone does it!
I also considered what an earlier post said, either would be easier than both. I already picked husband:) I can't probably imagine how children would change our relationship.
Oh, and I am not young, I'll be 35 in Feb and my ob/gyn said 35 was too late!

Laceylala

I feel the same way!! I mean babies are so cute and you want to have the experience but it's a lifelong commitment and all the pressure it puts on your marriage. I've been with my happy for six years and people always asks us when we are going to start having children but we are happy like we are for now. Besides I don't like having to sacrifice my sleep.

I read all these responses curiously because I am newly married and I give a lot of thought to whether or not to have children. Most of the time I think it will not happen, it would be a conscious decision and there will never be enough time or money, will never have done all that we wanted to, and even the choices between going back to work and leaving my baby with strangers, or not going back to work and spending all day with baby both sound horrible. I am not sure why anyone does it!
I also considered what an earlier post said, either would be easier than both. I already picked husband:) I can't probably imagine how children would change our relationship.
Oh, and I am not young, I'll be 35 in Feb and my ob/gyn said 35 was too late!

Lack of sleep the first two years, like little to none because my daughter was sick, is why I will not have any more of them.

asallen7

LOL All of the above. They both require great patience and commitment--sometimes without reward.

LilynEdensmom

I definately think being a parent is harder (not worse)..My girls are pretty good, but so much stress and worry...Me and my husband have a great relationship and friendship so being married is a piece of cake for me atleast.

cardbucfan

Being a parent makes being married harder. I have a fantastic husband and four wonderful children. I find that I have to work a lot harder at things that used to come easily with my spouse just because the children take up so much time and energy. It is harder to make time for dating and watching football and cooking things for work parties. My husband will ask me to come watch a game with him and he's trying to tell me to relax but all I can see is the unfolded laundry and the dirty dishes. I know that I was a better and more easy going wife before I became a mother.

This, this, this! Add in the conflicts when my husband and I disagree about something with the kids and it can make marriage incredibly difficult. We only have 2 kids and they are awesome and truly as they get older, I enjoy them so much more than I did when they were younger. But, their problems get bigger too and have more serious repercussions on the type of life they can have as adults. One of my friends said "you are only as happy as your saddest child" and it is absolutely the truth!

CricketKate

I'm really curious what people think . . . .bump