Where can I find some self-love.....

I've fallen off the wagon, been ran over by the wagon, and left in the dust of the wagon....

I got lazy, I ate bad, then I got hurt (pulled a calf muscle). I'm tired of hating myself. I know that it boils down to me and how I feel about myself. But it's hard to just say "Ok, I accept and love myself." I guess it's easy to say it. Believing it is the hard part.

Any suggestions? Tips? Helpful advice?
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Replies

  • Mr_Bad_Example
    Mr_Bad_Example Posts: 2,403 Member
    I read somewhere once that the best love is self-love.
  • donutmom
    donutmom Posts: 12
    I use to put affirmations on a sticky note and tape them to my bathroom mirror. This way I would see it every day and have to read it. I would try to say them out loud, even if I didn't believe what I was saying. It helped. After a while, my brain started to change its outlook. Could be something to try. I know I need to get back into giving myself positive affirmation as well. Others can tell you your beautiful, but until you can say it yourself, what others say will not matter. Hope that helps for an idea. Know you are not alone. Most of us struggle with that very same issue.
  • zcb94
    zcb94 Posts: 3,678 Member
    I know exactly how you feel.:flowerforyou:

    The following practices have been super-helpful:

    Get to know and try to spend daily time with the God who loves you no matter what. He made you and calls you perfect no matter what you weigh or do.

    Practice mindfulness meditation, where you relax by non-judgmentally noticing what's going on in and around you.

    Show others in your circle some love! Knowing that family, friends, people you help at your job and any strangers who you stop for feel special will help you feel appreciated and loved.
  • dpwellman
    dpwellman Posts: 3,271 Member
    Ride your bike.
  • Everybody's searching for a hero
    People need someone to look up to
    I never found anyone who fulfilled my needs
    A lonely place to be
    And so I learned to depend on me
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  • baba_helly
    baba_helly Posts: 810 Member
    I would suggest the shower if you have a removable showerhead. Good luck OP! :flowerforyou:
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  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    :flowerforyou:
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Think about it this way.

    You exist. That makes your experience in this life 1,000,000 times better than a rock. Big deal, you say? So what, I'm better than a rock?

    Most of the universe is rocks. Lifeless planets and asteroids... so much of the entire universe is just rocks and empty space.

    And here you are. Alive. With the chance to live out your days in beauty and experience. That is such a gift. Don't waste it.

    It's your life. Your one shot. You can make it whatever you want.

    Enjoy every moment.

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRJtjLgQWIdVaogl7rlwZW12eXjVhnF7ZzA_kvV7pAie7rXt-fD
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    Work on focusing on things that you do like about yourself. Talk to yourself about those things more and less about the things that you don't like. When you do catch yourself berating yourself, stop it, and change the subject. Find activities that make you happy and enjoy them. Let that positive energy fuel your increased activity. It's very difficult in the beginning but it does get easier. There is something to the virtuous circle mumbo jumbo.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    Huh.......I've never had to ask for directions....I self-love wherever and whenever I feel the need \m/
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    Huh.......I've never had to ask for directions....I self-love wherever and whenever I feel the need \m/

    ^ And this. Do lots and lots of this.
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
    Think about it this way.

    You exist. That makes your experience in this life 1,000,000 times better than a rock. Big deal, you say? So what, I'm better than a rock?

    Most of the universe is rocks. Lifeless planets and asteroids... so much of the entire universe is just rocks and empty space.

    And here you are. Alive. With the chance to live out your days in beauty and experience. That is such a gift. Don't waste it.

    It's your life. Your one shot. You can make it whatever you want.

    Enjoy every moment.

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRJtjLgQWIdVaogl7rlwZW12eXjVhnF7ZzA_kvV7pAie7rXt-fD

    mic-drop.gif?w=500
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    - start making some tangible goals that are achievable and work towards those (running a mile, squatting body weight, etc)
    - celebrate any of your wins with a "go, me!" attitude.
    - make an effort to look your best no mater what your weight. if that involves throwing away all your frumpy schlubby clothes (not saying you have them) and replacing them with things that play up your.

    at the start dont worry about believing it, just fake it and go through the motions of getting it done. once you start having actual proof that you can do stuff and that you dont suck then it'll be easier to believe it in the future
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
    I've fallen off the wagon, been ran over by the wagon, and left in the dust of the wagon....

    I got lazy, I ate ****ty, then I got hurt (pulled a calf muscle). I'm tired of hating myself. I know that it boils down to me and how I feel about myself. But it's hard to just say "Ok, I accept and love myself." I guess it's easy to say it. Believing it is the hard part.

    Any suggestions? Tips? Helpful advice?

    Loving yourself is one thing. If you don't like how things are going, there is no reason to have acceptance. That's pretty much what this site is about. Making changes to be healthy.

    My suggestions? Stop quitting. It's a defeatist attitude. Keep going. IF you mess up one minute, one day - keep going. You only fail if you stop. What are your goals? Without defined goals you have no rudder. You're circling the drain. Make some small goals and then work your *kitten* off to meet them.

    Read this link and then get busy. What have you got to lose? Oh, wait...

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1175494-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
  • KMiller880
    KMiller880 Posts: 21 Member
    And this is why I love this site. Great suggestions and tips. And some needed laughs while scrolling. I am starting today. Post it notes everywhere!!
  • zcb94
    zcb94 Posts: 3,678 Member
    And this is why I love this site. Great suggestions and tips. And some needed laughs while scrolling. I am starting today. Post it notes everywhere!!

    Great! Will keep praying that you persevere on your well-deserved journey and grow closer to the ever-loving God whose Temple you're maintaining. Let me know if my suggestions help.:flowerforyou:
  • HappyTrails7
    HappyTrails7 Posts: 878 Member
    Kmiller, I browsed your profile and I'd say you are pretty incredible. Your raising kids, which is no easy task; appear to be a loving wife; and it sounds like you are an amazing cook. All that from just a short profile bio.

    I know I used to measure my self-worth by comparing myself to others, everything was a competition. I finally figured out that many of us put on a good game face and appear to be living the charmed live, but in reality, all of us have stuff we have to deal with. I by no means have everything figured out, heck hardly any of it, but I do know I will never reach my full potential if I continue to gauge my self-worth by what others are doing, what they have accomplished, or worry about what my perception of someone else's perception of me might be.

    There is also the spiritual aspect, as zcb94 and BrettPGH alluded to, you are a unique being, the only one like you in the universe. Pondering on that alone should make you feel more precious than even the rarest gems. (or rocks in BrettPGH case :smile: )

    Self-love isn't an excuse to sit back and take it easy, but should in and of itself motivate you to polish the rough edges of your live and buff out the crystal sheen of who you are.
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
    bump
  • daworley
    daworley Posts: 238 Member
    It's OK to do that; it seems to be part of our journey. Don't over think it or make more of what happened than you need to, just forgive yourself and move on. You cannot uneat what you have eaten (don't I wish we could), so just let it be and move on. Tomorrow really is another day! Good luck, I wish the best for you! :wink:
  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
    Do meaningful work, appreciate your friends and family, volunteer, develop some hobbies, make sure that most days are productive.
  • Censor76
    Censor76 Posts: 48 Member
    You're not alone...most of us are here because we have fallen off the wagon (way) more than once. It happens. Sometimes you need it to make you stop and take note of what is around you.

    The best thing is that there is a wagon to get back on. Eating bad today, tomorrow you promise yourself to stop that. A pulled calf muscle doesn't last forever. This is all temporary and part of the process.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    You're not alone...most of us are here because we have fallen off the wagon (way) more than once. It happens. Sometimes you need it to make you stop and take note of what is around you.

    The best thing is that there is a wagon to get back on. Eating bad today, tomorrow you promise yourself to stop that. A pulled calf muscle doesn't last forever. This is all temporary and part of the process.

    Do not try and get on the wagon. That's impossible. Instead...only try to realize the truth.
    "What truth?" you ask?
    That there is no wagon.
  • Censor76
    Censor76 Posts: 48 Member
    Or that.
  • Celebrate every little victory. This is what I do.

    I pick a lower calorie option at my favorite fast food place... Go me!
    I take my girls for a walk around the neighborhood... Go me!
    I eat one brownie instead of a whole pan... Go me!
    I fall off the wagon for almost a week but I climb back on... Go me for not calling it quits!

    I'm still morbidly obese but I've lost 35 lbs. There are days I'm very disappointed with my self but when I start that negative self talk I think of how far I've come and all that I've accomplished. The best part is I no longer hate myself.

    If that fails, I remember the quote I once read. Its something about how out of millions of sperm you were the first to reach the egg so you were a winner before you were born.
  • getitamb
    getitamb Posts: 2,019 Member
    An attitude of grattitude. Do exercises and eat food you like. Inspire someone else. Be inspired. Be your own hero and look for nsvs. They get you through tough Times. And no matter what, keep going, u wilk be happy you did. GOOD LUCK:)
  • jerber160
    jerber160 Posts: 2,607 Member
    Everybody's searching for a hero
    People need someone to look up to
    I never found anyone who fulfilled my needs
    A lonely place to be
    And so I learned to depend on me

    Funny.. that's where my brain popped to, too.
    "No matter what they take from me
    They can't take away my dignity"
  • Everybody's searching for a hero
    People need someone to look up to
    I never found anyone who fulfilled my needs
    A lonely place to be
    And so I learned to depend on me

    Funny.. that's where my brain popped to, too.
    "No matter what they take from me
    They can't take away my dignity"

    yes self love can never be taken EVER
  • WannabeStressFree
    WannabeStressFree Posts: 340 Member
    Been there many times, my advice is to keep pushing, keep pushing, keep going, don't stop, if you fall pick yourself up! Try new things, new recipes, new exercise, read self help books, do something nice for someone else, but first do something nice for YOU.
    Ignore those nasty voices telling you that you are not worth it, repeat a mantra to yourself, whatever it is that inspires you, do it!

    Keep going, be consistant, baby steps work best. Don't stop, pray if you believe in it, keep trying and seek like minded people.
    I've tried all these things and some will work some won't, but trying will help you decide what works for you. I'm still in this struggle, in this for life and I'm not giving up, I've probably fallen off the wagon about 1,000 times in my life but this time I'm not giving up!!

    Good luck!!
    xo