Grrr! Rant!

katieai

This is a tough situation, I'm sorry. Could you maybe tell her that this sort of food gives you a stomach ache these days and you just need to avoid it? Maybe then, because she's your momma and she doesn't want you to not feel well, she will let you off the hook? I mean, if you're okay with it every now and again, go for it (small portions and all). Or is it possible you could offer to make the salad or side dish when you plan to eat meals at her place? Then you can load up on whatever it is you made and just eat a little of your moms cooking.

riirii93_

Generally hispanics eat things like burritos and cheesy stuff, I'm not saying that's the ONLY food they eat or make

LOL I'm sorry but this is extremely incorrect. I know she was talking about her family but to say that because of being hispanic the food is innately unhealthy, nope. I wasn't trying to be rude but to set the record straight. Btw burritos aren't real mexican food, that's texmex/border food and mexican families do not cover everything in cheese at home. What you see in restaurants in the us is about as accurate as chinese american restaurants representation of chinese food. Sorry if i came across as rude, I just hate misinformation about latin food. Touchy subject for me because of how bastardized the perception of it is in the us e.g. burritos and cheese covered everything http://www.buzzfeed.com/conzpreti/dishes-that-are-not-really-mexican

Moni, my suggestion is try to limit rice as the biggest thing. If you must have it just have a small portion. Use tortillas as your main carb of the meal (only 50 calories each!) and use portion control. Other than that, just try to ask her to make your favorite non-fried foods.

AyaRowan

If it's a food that you want and enjoy, just have a smaller portion of it. But don't force yourself to eat just to be polite. If it's a food you just feel mediocre about, a take it or leave it situation, then just leave it. I don't mind enchiladas, but I don't love enchiladas either. So why waste calories on something I just feel okay about?

Sometimes when you change to eating a healthy diet regularly, suddenly eating large amounts of unhealthy foods can literally make you feel sick. This is what happened to me recently after a meal with grease soaked fried onion straws. I can handle moderate amounts of grease just fine, I'm not strict with clean eating. But that meal was just grease overload, it made me feel queasy.

For normal meals I usually politely decline eating food that other people prepared. I weigh or measure everything so that I know the exact amount of calories I'm eating in my recipes. A dish someone else made, I would have to estimate and I hate using estimations on a regular basis (as I said, occasionally I don't mind, but I can't let them become a habit).

Also, you can't eat a buttload of veggies if there are no healthy veggies made for the meal. I know plenty of people whose everyday meals have nothing but starch, calorie dense foods, or greasy/oily foods. No fresh veggies, nothing light. Super sweet corn plus beans plus potato wedges in the same meal paired with fried chicken strips for example. Or burritos with taco beef and beans, Mexican fried rice, and nacho sauce with no tomato or lettuce in sight.

You could eat tiny portions of these foods to cut down on calories, yes. I don't know about you, though, but eating small portions of unhealthy food never satisfies me. I always end up hungry later. Not to mention the fact that if people take offense to not eating a meal, they'll most likely take offense if you eat small portions of it. My friend goes through this. She eats small portions of food, and everyone at the gathering is constantly telling her she needs to eat, she needs to live a little, that she's too uptight about food, essentially trying to shame her into eating (she's a perfectly healthy, fit, toned person who eats plenty for her lifestyle and activity level).

I agree with the poster who said to bring a dish. For gatherings with food in my family, the first thing I ask is "what can I bring?" so that all the effort for the meal isn't pushed onto the one whose house we're eating at. Bring a healthy dish and/or healthy dessert so that you can have something lighter in calories to eat and you can share your healthy lifestyle with others. My friend loves to make healthier dishes and desserts for others because they never believe it's a healthy dish. So many people just assume healthy food is bland or tasteless, prove them wrong!

You could also just volunteer to help cook the meal. Especially as mothers get older, they usually appreciate help for gatherings. Just help cook and oversee the meal a bit, if you're in charge of a couple dishes you may be able to lighten up the oil etc a bit.

Sharing your reasons for changing to a healthier lifestyle would also be a good idea if you've never talked about them with her before. That it's not just about weight, it's not just about numbers on a scale or clothing sizes, that you want to feel better and be healthier so that you can enjoy life longer. I worry about my dad's health all the time, as he is overweight and feels older than he should because of it. He spent time in the hospital for almost a week recently because of pneumonia, and if his eating habits were healthier and more nutritious maybe his natural immunity and health would be better too. I've been trying to teach him about nutrition, and most of it goes over his head. But at least he's more aware of what he's eating. He's started to look at labels, even, and he knows how many calories he's supposed to aim for in a day. And that the choco pie he bought uses up the same calories as some full meals, a full third of his allotment for the day.

My posts are always way too long...sorry about that.

CharleePear

I have had to move back with my family and it's been a struggle. My mum thinks gluten free makes people skinny, that's her kinda knowledge, worst of all she is a nurse. She doesn't respect what I need, I only lose on keeping my carbs quite low, not too much starch, and keeping my food clean most of the time, or I stall weight loss for a week! (don't want a debate about clean vs not clean here). I am jobless so I have to eat what she buys. She may get me a bag of salad a week, and a few carrots and apples. So yeah, I am so with you.

She also tells me I am selfish for wanting to eat the way I want to eat. My Father is silent on the matter and my brother likes to offer me chocolate and icecream almost everyday.

ETA: Just relating and ranting right back haha.

I eat kind of similar(low carbs, but high fat and moderate protein) and my hubs and I live with my mother-in-law. However, there is a good system in place that assures I get the food I need. I clean the kitchen and the bathroom from top to bottom every Sat or Sun. That basically guarantees that I can go shopping with my mother-in-law and get the foods I need for my way of eating. Maybe develop some sort of bartering method with your mother?

Yeah I have to a degree but unfortunately due to my parents being a little nuts tbh it can only go so far. Truth be told, I can just hope to maintain while I am here. I pay board, they expect me to clean etc as well. In NZ I do get an income, just a small one, unfortunately me paying doesn't mean I get a choice much apparently. But if I don't pay I have no where to live. So yeah, just eating the best I can. So far not too bad. Will move out as soon as I can.

ladymiseryali

I have had to move back with my family and it's been a struggle. My mum thinks gluten free makes people skinny, that's her kinda knowledge, worst of all she is a nurse. She doesn't respect what I need, I only lose on keeping my carbs quite low, not too much starch, and keeping my food clean most of the time, or I stall weight loss for a week! (don't want a debate about clean vs not clean here). I am jobless so I have to eat what she buys. She may get me a bag of salad a week, and a few carrots and apples. So yeah, I am so with you.

She also tells me I am selfish for wanting to eat the way I want to eat. My Father is silent on the matter and my brother likes to offer me chocolate and icecream almost everyday.

ETA: Just relating and ranting right back haha.

I eat kind of similar(low carbs, but high fat and moderate protein) and my hubs and I live with my mother-in-law. However, there is a good system in place that assures I get the food I need. I clean the kitchen and the bathroom from top to bottom every Sat or Sun. That basically guarantees that I can go shopping with my mother-in-law and get the foods I need for my way of eating. Maybe develop some sort of bartering method with your mother?

Yeah I have to a degree but unfortunately due to my parents being a little nuts tbh it can only go so far. Truth be told, I can just hope to maintain while I am here. I pay board, they expect me to clean etc as well. In NZ I do get an income, just a small one, unfortunately me paying doesn't mean I get a choice much apparently. But if I don't pay I have no where to live. So yeah, just eating the best I can. So far not too bad. Will move out as soon as I can.

That sucks, but hopefully you can find work, save up and get a place where the food and everything is more controlled. Good luck!