ED Recovery, getting to a 'healthy weight'.

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VeganEquestrian
VeganEquestrian Posts: 59 Member
in Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
Hi, I have been recovering from ana since March. I am 5'6 and went from 97 pounds - 114 pounds. I want to stop gaining. I am pretty active, I ride 2 - 3 horses everyday. Some people say I should gain more because I am at the lowest BMI, but I am terrified. I'm scared that if I keep gaining I'm going to freak out and loose it all again. Do you think it's fine for me to stick to maintaining at 114 at least for a little while? Like maybe in a month or two I'll feel better about this and try to gain a little more...
To maintain at this weight I can eat about 2500 cals a day with exercise so I am eating enough...
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Replies

  • prestigio
    prestigio Posts: 181 Member
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    Hello Ashley,
    As you mentioned you are recovering from an ED. The best advice anybody can give you is to see a professional (Doctor or dietitian) to get medical advice on your personal situation.
    I'd like to wish you the best of luck on your path of recovery.
  • GillianMcK
    GillianMcK Posts: 401 Member
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    Speak to the health professional that's helping you with the ED, it's the professional help that you need, not the help of non-professionals on a public forum.
    What does the doctor/health professional say??
  • vsangelwings95
    vsangelwings95 Posts: 24 Member
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    how do you make your tdee reach 2500? i'm 5'7, 122 lbs and i gain on anything above 1600 net
  • lishie_rebooted
    lishie_rebooted Posts: 2,973 Member
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    how do you make your tdee reach 2500? i'm 5'7, 122 lbs and i gain on anything above 1600 net

    This is really not the place to ask this. Create your own thread instead of hijacking hers.

    OP, its best to discuss this with your recovery team rather than a forum full of strangers - many of which who have no clue about eating disorders.

    Congratulations on your success so far. Its a truly great achievement. I wish you much luck in your recovery
  • VeganEquestrian
    VeganEquestrian Posts: 59 Member
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    They want me to gain a little more but I am already so uncomfortable with myself and having to force myself to eat everything and I scared I'm going to have a breakdown and start loosing... 97 - 114 is a big difference already...
  • VeganEquestrian
    VeganEquestrian Posts: 59 Member
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    how do you make your tdee reach 2500? i'm 5'7, 122 lbs and i gain on anything above 1600 net

    I burn 400-900 cals a day riding...
  • lishie_rebooted
    lishie_rebooted Posts: 2,973 Member
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    They want me to gain a little more but I am already so uncomfortable with myself and having to force myself to eat everything and I scared I'm going to have a breakdown and start loosing... 97 - 114 is a big difference already...

    Relay these feelings to them.
    I do have some experience with EDs but I'm not a counselor. But I very strongly suggest you talk to them and tell them how you feel now so you can determine a plan of action together.

    Youve already come so far and you dont need a backslide.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    You look great right now, so talk to your advisor and see if they'd be okay with you maintaining at the weight you are for a while, before making further adjustment.
  • VeganEquestrian
    VeganEquestrian Posts: 59 Member
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    I keep telling them I feel huge, and they tell me I'm not. That doesn't help if I don't see it! I'll try talking to them some more.
    And I'm not saying I want to stay at 114 forever, I just want a break. Like maybe I'll feel better about this in a couple months and gain a little more..idk.
    My coach is my biggest pusher. She keeps telling me that small athletes never last...
  • Ulwaz
    Ulwaz Posts: 380 Member
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    the fact youve gained weight is good, but a little bit more wont hurt, im in the same boat, ive put some weight on its hard but i need to increase also, speak to me for support, but eat more <3 your body needs it
  • LoupGarouTFTs
    LoupGarouTFTs Posts: 916 Member
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    OP, you're still in the Underweight category of BMI. Just two more pounds would put you into the normal category for your height. I know you say you already feel huge, but that is your ED talking and not reality. Can you let yourself gain just two more pounds and then bargain with your team to maintain that weight while your perception catches up with your reality? Being underweight isn't good for you--and neither is being barely in the normal range--but if you enter the normal range your team may be willing to cut you a little slack if you're still making efforts to recover.
  • TutuMom41
    TutuMom41 Posts: 278
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    You look great right now, so talk to your advisor and see if they'd be okay with you maintaining at the weight you are for a while, before making further adjustment.

    This is extremely irresponsible to encourage someone with an eating disorder to maintain a BMI that is underweight. People who are underweight and not eating enough calories to live have issues with their bodies taking the necessary nutrients from their muscles and when there is not enough there then their hearts. People who suffer from anorexia long term start living with hearts functioning at partial capacity and this can eventually kill them. SO please think a little before you speak or give advice based on something you know nothing about.
  • TutuMom41
    TutuMom41 Posts: 278
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    I keep telling them I feel huge, and they tell me I'm not. That doesn't help if I don't see it! I'll try talking to them some more.
    And I'm not saying I want to stay at 114 forever, I just want a break. Like maybe I'll feel better about this in a couple months and gain a little more..idk.
    My coach is my biggest pusher. She keeps telling me that small athletes never last...

    Congratulations on taking the step to gain some weight. Continue to gain weight and try to silence the voices that are haunting you. Continue to seek out help and surround yourself with people who are good for you with positive lifestyles. Your body needs calories to live. Your organs and heart need calories to function. A friend of mine suffered with this for to long and is now living with her heart functioning at 60% capacity. It can not be repaired and she has shaved years off of her precious life.
  • SomeNights246
    SomeNights246 Posts: 807 Member
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    I have moments like this to this day, and I've been at a restored weight for about four months now. It's a struggle sometimes, because the 'ED voice' comes at the most random and inconvenient moments. And I can tell you, it is most likely your ED voice thinking this. I strongly encourage you to speak to someone about this. A meal plan is vital to eating disorder recovery, and cutting calories sounds tempting... but even cutting them to 1600 or so is risky (I'd know. Doing so often results in many of the physical symptoms returning or worsening again). And when you are tempted to cut, it is almost always the eating disorder thinking it wouldn't hurt to do so.
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
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    I keep telling them I feel huge, and they tell me I'm not. That doesn't help if I don't see it! I'll try talking to them some more.
    And I'm not saying I want to stay at 114 forever, I just want a break. Like maybe I'll feel better about this in a couple months and gain a little more..idk.
    My coach is my biggest pusher. She keeps telling me that small athletes never last...

    You have to eventually make a choice between the ED and health/strength/fitness/happiness. I think you are looking great, and you know in your heart, I am sure, that although you feel huge, you are not. That is the ED messing with your mind. I used to have severe anorexia and still struggle with that mindset at times...well, a lot of times. But, I choose to have the strength to do my boxing and to maintain a high level of fitness which would not be possible if underweight. You have come so far and are doing so well. Do not let it slip now. See if you can reach a compromise with your health team. Meanwhile, throw your focus into your athletic endeavours and let that be the force that drives you further towards recovery.
  • kwilcox1195
    kwilcox1195 Posts: 13
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    First off, let me tell you, I think you have an amazing body. :D and I think even if you had twenty more pounds on you, you'd look just as great. Losing or gaining weight is a struggle for almost everyone. For some people, (like people with EDs) it is a mental struggle, and highly underweight or overweight people face a physical struggle. Sometimes, people have both. First off, the fact that you have made a concious effort to become healthy and change your habits is amazing. *clap clap clap*. :) you should be very proud of yourself, because a decision like that is extremely hard to make. Trying to change the way you view yourself is going to take time. I think people aren't understanding how tough it is for you to love the changes your making in yourself if they are constantly telling you you need to make more changes. You KNOW you need to be healthy, and you want to be healthy. You are on the right path. It will take time to change how you feel about yourself, so don't worry. it seems to me like you're a little overwhelmed and nervous about gaining more weight. It's perfectly normal to feel like that! I would reccomennd that you talk to your doctor or parents about taking things slow for while. The last thing you want to do is push yourself before you're ready. Saying something like 'I've tried really hard to make better decisions lately, but I'm feeling like this is going a little too fast." Taking a week off from trying to gain weight (just eating enough to maintain weight) might be more beneficial in the long run. After all, your happiness and health are equally important! :)
  • kwilcox1195
    kwilcox1195 Posts: 13
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    If anyone ever needs some emotional support, i'll sit here all day and tell every single one of you how amazing you look. :) but the important thing is that YOU become the person you want to be. The person that feels sexy, confident, healthy and proud. Do it for yourself-not for anyone else.
  • cwoyto123
    cwoyto123 Posts: 308
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    Start eating and weight training, it's the key to look sexy as fuark as a female.

    Makes me laugh when females think they are going to get even remotely big lifting heavy weight.
  • JesusIsForreal
    JesusIsForreal Posts: 7 Member
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    HI, I think the best thing would be to maybe wait a week or two. Eat to maintain your weight for a couple weeks then start gaining more. At this point right now I'm at the very bottom of having a healthy BMI, I would do anything to get back to where I was except the gaining scares me because I'm scared that I'll have more fat then before, but truly that's not me that's scared, it's the disorder. It's also your disorder that is making you scared. Try to ignore that thought of gaining weight being bad, try to think of it as something good. With the activity you're doing you won't be gaining bad weight, you'll be gaining muscle. Muscle weighs more then fat. You can conquer anything, this disorder is just an evil thought in your head, but you can completely get rid of it, just start by telling it NO when you hear those thoughts.
  • gelar93
    gelar93 Posts: 160
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    Hi, I have been recovering from ana since March. I am 5'6 and went from 97 pounds - 114 pounds. I want to stop gaining. I am pretty active, I ride 2 - 3 horses everyday. Some people say I should gain more because I am at the lowest BMI, but I am terrified. I'm scared that if I keep gaining I'm going to freak out and loose it all again. Do you think it's fine for me to stick to maintaining at 114 at least for a little while? Like maybe in a month or two I'll feel better about this and try to gain a little more...
    To maintain at this weight I can eat about 2500 cals a day with exercise so I am eating enough...

    If your BMI is still healthy, then I don't see why you would have to force yourself into gaining more, specially because you say you wouldn't be happy about it anyway. I'd say maintain for a while and gradually build more muscle which adds to your weight but in an awesome way.
    Definitely consult your doctor also. For the most part we are just a bunch of normal people like you tho.

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