Telling someone that they gained weight

Chibukalu908

Have you ever tell someone that they gained weight?Was it someone close to you out of concern or just your observation on your friend or family member? How did they take it .P.S.i am not planning to tell anyone that they gained weight but have been told on the past and it only angered me and resent the person.

MarkFraser142

Unless the other person brings it up first, i think it's a bad idea. If you are concerned about someone's health, it's not a bad idea to try and help them out. Invite them for walks and things like that. However, simply saying "You look like you've gained weight" is a bad idea. It's only going to hurt their feelings and, let's be honest, if you notice their weight gain - they've probably noticed it as well.

veephil31

From my personal experience I knew when I gained. No one had to tell me, I knew I had to buy bigger clothes and could see the gain...

Chibukalu908

Unless the other person brings it up first, i think it's a bad idea. If you are concerned about someone's health, it's not a bad idea to try and help them out. Invite them for walks and things like that. However, simply saying "You look like you've gained weight" is a bad idea. It's only going to hurt their feelings and, let's be honest, if you notice their weight gain - they've probably noticed it as well.

like what I said I am not planning to tell someone that.Its not my place to tell someone that unless i was their doctor i was just curious

zyxst

I tell my husband. We have an agreement about it. He's got a weight limit he wants to stay under and I keep an eye on his belly to see if he's looking more preggo than usual. It doesn't offend him. He's not overly concerned about his weight until he can't wear his favorite pants/shorts and he's rather lazy about how much he weighs.

Anyone else I don't mention it unless they say something first. It's not my business how much someone else weighs.

Alatariel75

I agree that people generally don't need to be told - they may be ignoring it, but they know.

Even if for some reason circumstances dictate that you believe that someone needs to be told, I wouldn't ever consider doing it unless it was an extremely close family member or a partner. But I can't think of a reason you'd need to tell someone at all.

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meshashesha2012

you dont think they have noticed this themselves?

i wouldnt bring it up unless they did

Chibukalu908

I agree that people generally don't need to be told - they may be ignoring it, but they know.

Even if for some reason circumstances dictate that you believe that someone needs to be told, I wouldn't ever consider doing it unless it was an extremely close family member or a partner. But I can't think of a reason you'd need to tell someone at all.

I agree with you but I clealy stated in my post that I am not planning to tell anyone or would tell someone unless if its my child and it was a health concern.I have been told in the past and I hated it. this question was hypothetical question

Alatariel75

I agree that people generally don't need to be told - they may be ignoring it, but they know.

Even if for some reason circumstances dictate that you believe that someone needs to be told, I wouldn't ever consider doing it unless it was an extremely close family member or a partner. But I can't think of a reason you'd need to tell someone at all.

I agree with you but I clealy stated in my post that I am not planning to tell anyone or would tell someone unless if its my child and it was a health concern.I have been told in the past and I hated it. this question was hypothetical question

And I never said you were. I don't know how you expect people to answer your question without making at least the hypothetical assumption that someone is hypothetically thinking of telling someone that they've put on weight.

I took into account your saying you weren't intending on doing so, but could think of no way else to phrase a response that makes sense.

ASH2038602

I actually just posted a Facebook status about this. I feel that a lot of in shape/thin people and people that have lost a lot of weight think it gives them a pass to make judgmental comments about other people and disguise it as concern. I have spoken to my boyfriend about some health concerns I have, but at the end of the day its his decision and I won't badger him about it. Outside of him, and my son, its not my place to approach anyone else. My mom wants me to join her in a "intervention" for my sister and I have refused. She knows she's over weight. She knows the risks. Saying anything to her will likely just piss her off, and hurt her feelings.

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beastmode_kitty

Its a very touchy subject!

Before I lost my weight, I had a co-worker come up to me and say that he hears a congratulations is in order! I'm like what are you talking about, and he says, "You're pregnant". I said ummm I'm not. He was sooooooooo embarrassed and his girlfriend smacked him for saying it. I laughed it off at the time being, but it got me thinking, wow, I really need to do something about this. To this day, I never let him live it down whenever i see him LOL.

BinaryPulsar

No, I have never told anyone that they have gained weight.

_celesse

I would like to keep living, so no. Besides, if somebody told me I looked like I gained weight they'd probably walk away with a black eye :P Anyway, it's pretty rude to make a comment like that.

ASH2038602

I didn't mean here, and I should have specified that. I find that almost everyone here is extremely supportive. I meant people on my Facebook (which is why I posted the status there) and some people that I know personally.

SomberG

No. I never have nor would.

klight1236

I'm the type of person that doesn't really think before speaking and I just say the first thing that comes to mind so yes i've told family and friends that they've gained weight.

Me_again143

I've had it done to me and honestly I NEVER appreciated it. In hind sight they were correct (Parents) and only looking out for my best interest, but it was something I was already struggling with on my own and it felt hurtful being pointed out. I think the better way to do it is tell the person you need a work out buddy or you wanna go on a healthy eating program but don't want to do it alone. Encourage them to join you in your journey instead of trying to force them into their own.

Unless it is someone extremely close to you, I wouldn't even do it unless you know for a fact that person is looking to start losing weight themselves. I know for me, I was stubborn and I was not ready to start losing weight until it was MY choice. Losing weight for someone else never works (at least not for me) and it can bring on resentment.

oxers

I never feel like it's acceptable to comment on someone's weight, tbh. Especially as a negative. It's their body, they *know*. They don't need you compounding whatever issues they have under the guise of being concerned for their health.

One of my best friends and I went to a theme park today. I've dropped significant weight, and I can absolutely feel the difference between now and last year - how I fit the rides, how much energy I have, how I cope with the heat and with walking. My friend, who was larger than I was to begin with, has gained. She needs extra help getting into rides with safety bars. She has to rest every twenty minutes or so. Her heat tolerance is non-existent.

I'm worried, but I'm not going to say anything. Not directly. It's not my body and therefore none of my business whatsoever, even if I love her. She can take care of her body however she wants to.

What I WILL do is chatter on about my zumba class and the 5ks I'm running, my favorite recipes and how much better I feel and how much happier I am when I'm eating good food. I'll talk about my life, and if our paths should cross, grand. She's started asking me for advice so if she wants help, I'm here. I'll do whatever she wants me to do.

But I sure as hell won't guilt her into doing it.

kimothy38

My sister wears clothes that are far too small and extremely unflattering but I'd never tell her. If she's comfortable and confident in what she's wearing then who am I tell her otherwise.

Usually someone knows if they've put on weight and the last thing they need is someone telling them. Some people only say it to make themselves feel better.

Swiftlet66

I never have... I only notice when that person themselves show signs of discomfort with their weight. For instance, they would avoid food offered to them or they'd start talking about exercising when normally they wouldn't. That's when I realize and think, oh, this person does look a little heavier I think?? Some people can pick it up right away but usually, I can't really tell if someone looks different for some reason. In some cultures, it's okay to talk about weight to anyone. Like in my culture, a lot of people talk about other people's weight and looks openly but in the US, I think people generally avoid talking about weight. Like I would not tell an acquaintance or my co-worker she has gained weight and needs to lose it even if I was worried about her; it'd be considered very rude and weight is such a sensitive topic for a lot of people here. However, if this person is really close to you and you are worried about them, then telling them would be okay in my book. I'm a blunt person anyways and most people that knows me, knows this fact about me. I won't sugar coat it either.

itunejim7

Why would you tell someone they have gained weight? How much weight gain is a health risk? What business is it of yours?

Suppose the person has gained a whole wheel barrow load of weight but they can walk, work and dance you into the ground. Does it really matter what the number says when they jump on a scale? I understand the US surgeon general has declared lack of exercise to be a greater risk to health than smoking. http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/sgr/pdf/execsumm.pdf

Get active. Enjoy moving about.

Quit worrying about your weight. Be happy. And mind your own business about other peoples weight.

chubbybunnee

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SLLRunner

Have you ever tell someone that they gained weight?Was it someone close to you out of concern or just your observation on your friend or family member? How did they take it .P.S.i am not planning to tell anyone that they gained weight but have been told on the past and it only angered me and resent the person.

Nope. It's not my place to comment about someone else's weight. People are aware when they gain weight.

chubbybunnee

Its a very touchy subject!

Before I lost my weight, I had a co-worker come up to me and say that he hears a congratulations is in order! I'm like what are you talking about, and he says, "You're pregnant". I said ummm I'm not. He was sooooooooo embarrassed and his girlfriend smacked him for saying it. I laughed it off at the time being, but it got me thinking, wow, I really need to do something about this. To this day, I never let him live it down whenever i see him LOL.

^^^^^^^^^^^This happened to me too except that it was my unlce who put his hand on my stomach and asked if I was expecting...................He is an OBGYN!!!!! It really hurt my feelings but I needed to hear it. I got too comfortable being overweight. I worked my butt of and lost over 43 pounds

However, fast forward two years later, and I have gained back 20 of it and my boyfriend has also gained about 20 pounds since we have been together. I tell my boyfriend all the time that he has gained too much and he tells me right back. We tease each other and we don't get hurt by it because we know we are just looking out for each other. I would never tell a stranger though. They may not care that they are gaining weight and pointing it out is rude. You have to have a special relationship with someone to be able to talk openly about weight because society makes it a sensitive issue.

If someone wants to be overweight, don't criticize them or tell them they are wrong, just educate them by just talking about your own transformation. If they are interested and ask questions, help them lose it. If they don't seem to care and love to eat McDonalds, then leave it alone. That's my opinion.

SLLRunner

I actually just posted a Facebook status about this. I feel that a lot of in shape/thin people and people that have lost a lot of weight think it gives them a pass to make judgmental comments about other people and disguise it as concern. .

That's you're perception only and a pretty big judgment on your part. I'm one of those people you are referring to and I would never tell someone they have gained weight. It's not my business.

ETA: after I posted I see you said you are not talking about people here, but speaking based on your own personal experience. However, I don't think it's fair to apply your experience to even some people.

MysteriousMerlin

Never, because it's none of my f***ing business.

I know how much I weigh and what I look like naked, I'm fairly certain they're aware of their own weight and appearance. Having me point it out is redundant.

starrylioness

MOST people know they've gained. Focus on yourself.

cincysweetheart

If it's a concern about their health... They are usually significantly overweight and have been for some time. If it's a VERY close family member and you have the appropriate relationship with them... Then you can approach them out of concern for their health, but chances are quite good they are very well aware they are overweight and so you don't even need to point it out. Its kind of like "well, duh!" And It's basically just an insult then. Personally, I wouldn't even do it then. I have no room to talk. And I'm not a doctor, so there is nothing I can say even to a close family member that they don't already know. If it's not a genuine concern about their well-being and health... I would NEVER comment on ANYONE'S weight at all... EVER. Particularly a gain. It's plain rude and none of my business.

Leighsters

Never! Ive had it said to me and it was horrible and embarrassing! It was one of my customers and she said it really loud right in front of everyone I worked with ! it was so awful I wanted to cry!! Never in my life would I want to hurt someone like that!