Telling someone that they gained weight

Swiftlet66

I never have... I only notice when that person themselves show signs of discomfort with their weight. For instance, they would avoid food offered to them or they'd start talking about exercising when normally they wouldn't. That's when I realize and think, oh, this person does look a little heavier I think?? Some people can pick it up right away but usually, I can't really tell if someone looks different for some reason. In some cultures, it's okay to talk about weight to anyone. Like in my culture, a lot of people talk about other people's weight and looks openly but in the US, I think people generally avoid talking about weight. Like I would not tell an acquaintance or my co-worker she has gained weight and needs to lose it even if I was worried about her; it'd be considered very rude and weight is such a sensitive topic for a lot of people here. However, if this person is really close to you and you are worried about them, then telling them would be okay in my book. I'm a blunt person anyways and most people that knows me, knows this fact about me. I won't sugar coat it either.

itunejim7

Why would you tell someone they have gained weight? How much weight gain is a health risk? What business is it of yours?

Suppose the person has gained a whole wheel barrow load of weight but they can walk, work and dance you into the ground. Does it really matter what the number says when they jump on a scale? I understand the US surgeon general has declared lack of exercise to be a greater risk to health than smoking. http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/sgr/pdf/execsumm.pdf

Get active. Enjoy moving about.

Quit worrying about your weight. Be happy. And mind your own business about other peoples weight.

chubbybunnee

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SLLRunner

Have you ever tell someone that they gained weight?Was it someone close to you out of concern or just your observation on your friend or family member? How did they take it .P.S.i am not planning to tell anyone that they gained weight but have been told on the past and it only angered me and resent the person.

Nope. It's not my place to comment about someone else's weight. People are aware when they gain weight.

chubbybunnee

Its a very touchy subject!

Before I lost my weight, I had a co-worker come up to me and say that he hears a congratulations is in order! I'm like what are you talking about, and he says, "You're pregnant". I said ummm I'm not. He was sooooooooo embarrassed and his girlfriend smacked him for saying it. I laughed it off at the time being, but it got me thinking, wow, I really need to do something about this. To this day, I never let him live it down whenever i see him LOL.

^^^^^^^^^^^This happened to me too except that it was my unlce who put his hand on my stomach and asked if I was expecting...................He is an OBGYN!!!!! It really hurt my feelings but I needed to hear it. I got too comfortable being overweight. I worked my butt of and lost over 43 pounds

However, fast forward two years later, and I have gained back 20 of it and my boyfriend has also gained about 20 pounds since we have been together. I tell my boyfriend all the time that he has gained too much and he tells me right back. We tease each other and we don't get hurt by it because we know we are just looking out for each other. I would never tell a stranger though. They may not care that they are gaining weight and pointing it out is rude. You have to have a special relationship with someone to be able to talk openly about weight because society makes it a sensitive issue.

If someone wants to be overweight, don't criticize them or tell them they are wrong, just educate them by just talking about your own transformation. If they are interested and ask questions, help them lose it. If they don't seem to care and love to eat McDonalds, then leave it alone. That's my opinion.

SLLRunner

I actually just posted a Facebook status about this. I feel that a lot of in shape/thin people and people that have lost a lot of weight think it gives them a pass to make judgmental comments about other people and disguise it as concern. .

That's you're perception only and a pretty big judgment on your part. I'm one of those people you are referring to and I would never tell someone they have gained weight. It's not my business.

ETA: after I posted I see you said you are not talking about people here, but speaking based on your own personal experience. However, I don't think it's fair to apply your experience to even some people.

MysteriousMerlin

Never, because it's none of my f***ing business.

I know how much I weigh and what I look like naked, I'm fairly certain they're aware of their own weight and appearance. Having me point it out is redundant.

starrylioness

MOST people know they've gained. Focus on yourself.

cincysweetheart

If it's a concern about their health... They are usually significantly overweight and have been for some time. If it's a VERY close family member and you have the appropriate relationship with them... Then you can approach them out of concern for their health, but chances are quite good they are very well aware they are overweight and so you don't even need to point it out. Its kind of like "well, duh!" And It's basically just an insult then. Personally, I wouldn't even do it then. I have no room to talk. And I'm not a doctor, so there is nothing I can say even to a close family member that they don't already know. If it's not a genuine concern about their well-being and health... I would NEVER comment on ANYONE'S weight at all... EVER. Particularly a gain. It's plain rude and none of my business.

Leighsters

Never! Ive had it said to me and it was horrible and embarrassing! It was one of my customers and she said it really loud right in front of everyone I worked with ! it was so awful I wanted to cry!! Never in my life would I want to hurt someone like that!

Madame_Goldbricker

I find the question (hypothetically speaking) a moot point. Unless the individual is a child. Or has an impairment that warrants them incapable of comprehending that they are an unhealthy weight. Then why would there ever be the need to make them 'aware' of this fact? In the circumstances above it would be down to a care giver to provide proper nutrition to assist them with weightloss.

Frankly I find the question a bit dumb.

Jezebel_Barbie

I would never do this. It's just rude.

People often do it under the guise of 'concern' but being overly negative and openly pointing out people's flaws is not 'helping'. If people really wanted to help they'd share a delicious healthy recipe, or invite you out walking/to the gym/cycling/whatever with them, or do some other positive constructive thing. If all you're doing is negatively criticising someone's appearance that just makes you a ****ty friend.

SezxyStef

no...never.....

I can be concerned all I want and will offer advice if asked...but I will not ever bring it up...

Why because it's been done to me....I have had people comment about my weight and the fact I "needed" to lose..yah well F*** them.

Branstin

I have never brought up the subject and told anyone that they gained or needed to lose weight. I agree with worrying about myself and only giving advice if asked. I am sure if I noticed the weight gain in terms of me then other people knew that they gained as well. There are a lot of reasons people gain weight none of which is my business.

BigT555

unless youre their doctor, dont. i think blood relatives may be an exception in some cases and it would have to be approached with very light footing, but for the most part still no.

i think its safe to say that most obese people know they could stand to lose a few pounds, its just a matter of whether its worth it to them or not to put the effort in to lose weight, so telling them what they already know is sort of a moot point

Chibukalu908

I agree that people generally don't need to be told - they may be ignoring it, but they know.

Even if for some reason circumstances dictate that you believe that someone needs to be told, I wouldn't ever consider doing it unless it was an extremely close family member or a partner. But I can't think of a reason you'd need to tell someone at all.

I agree with you but I clealy stated in my post that I am not planning to tell anyone or would tell someone unless if its my child and it was a health concern.I have been told in the past and I hated it. this question was hypothetical question

ok it makes sense

And I never said you were. I don't know how you expect people to answer your question without making at least the hypothetical assumption that someone is hypothetically thinking of telling someone that they've put on weight.

I took into account your saying you weren't intending on doing so, but could think of no way else to phrase a response that makes sense.

Lil40

I've been asked whether I was pregnant and also been told a couple of times that I've put on weight (ah, really?! Thanks
for telling me, I thought my trousers had shrunk in the wash!)
Horrible and rude, I wish people would filter the stuff that comes out of their mouth!!

brenn24179

if it was me I would not want anyone telling me to lose weight. I would tell someone about my experiences, my zumba classes, going to the gym, doing MFP and how I have to watch what I eat and talk about me but never about anyone else. If they want to follow fine, if not, it is their life. I would not mind someone with a weight problem expressing this to me and what they do about it but I would hate some skinny person telling me to lose weight.

Tanie98

I find the question (hypothetically speaking) a moot point. Unless the individual is a child. Or has an impairment that warrants them incapable of comprehending that they are an unhealthy weight. Then why would there ever be the need to make them 'aware' of this fact? In the circumstances above it would be down to a care giver to provide proper nutrition to assist them with weightloss.

Frankly I find the question a bit dumb.