Why Do We Hate Being Fat So Much?

Iwishyouwell

This has been on my mind this morning. I've hated being fat since around the 6th grade. I wasn't bullied, made fun of in any great way at all, and wasn't fat shamed at home. Yet the realization that I was "fat" hurt and upset me. I didn't like the look of my doughy body compared to the lean boys around me. It set off a battle with my adipose tissue that continues to this day.

Why does nearly everyone seem to hate being fat (or hate others being fat) so much? Is it socialized? Inate? Do we hate the look of it, the feel of it? Is it more about what other people think? I've thought before that I do believe I'd lose weight even if I was the only person left on earth.

What do you think it is?

BoatsnHose

Because you don't look good or feel good when you are fat and that about sums it up.

Branstin

It is unhealthy for many people to be overweight.

marissanik

I was chubby from grade 5-7. 8-10 I was slimmer. Grade 11 was when it all caught up to me, and I think it was only a problem when my friends wanted to exchange clothes or go swimming or something. I didn't have confidence and was comparing myself to them. I was also unhealthy and unhappy with myself. This journey taught me self-love, confidence, and I generally just function better when I eat healthy.

WBB55

Your hatred is completely a social mindset. Other cultures don't necessarily see fat as unattractive.

Whether it's "healthy" to be fat is a different discussion.

msf74

Your hatred is completely a social mindset. Other cultures don't necessarily see fat as unattractive.

Whether it's "healthy" to be fat is a different discussion.

That's my take on it as well.

We are conditioned to equate fat with failure.

lavendy17

It looks better. Clothes fit better.

HM2206

Attractiveness is a big part of it.

But when I gained weight and was at my heaviest I hated it because it was a physical symbol of my lifestyle and my relationship with food. I knew that when I was slim I was healthy, happy and enjoying life. Extra 20 lbs meant I was reaching for food for happiness. For me, it's basically like wearing a sign around your neck saying "I'm passive and unhappy".

DeguelloTex

I'm pretty much burned out on doing the equivalent of carrying around my 112 pound daughter 24 hours a day. When I went to the doctor at the end of April, I was pretty much on the very edge of needing all manner of mediation to ameliorate all the stupid things I was doing to my body (blood pressure, etc.); another year of the same behavior would probably have pushed me past that edge. I hope the changes imam making will prevent that.

SheGlows

I think a lot of it has to do with society's perception of beauty.

However, another take on it: I was reading an article recently that was discussing our biology having to do with it. Since being overweight can lead to infertility or difficulty to conceive, you are considered less attractive by potential mates, as our main instinct is to reproduce.

Just a theory, but I found it really interesting and I could see how this would drive us to find more fat less attractive.

BigT555

health
mobility
cost
aesthetics
ability to participate in physical activity

im sure we could come up with a few more but those are the top 5 i'd think (not necessarily in that order)

segovm

Yeah I think most of it is just social. There are cultures where being overweight is enviable but that's not really the western ideal right now. Honestly the most attractive thing is normally the thing that the smallest portion of the population has and others can not easily get so fitness, wealth, large physical endowments, intellect...

We want want we do not have but might be able to get.

Personally I love being fat. I get to eat whatever I want and don't have to get up and move all the time unless I run out of soda. When I am trim I am always doing stuff and it's a huge distraction from surfing the net and reading / writing. Every few years I like to drop weight though just to mix things up a bit.

lemurcat12

Your hatred is completely a social mindset. Other cultures don't necessarily see fat as unattractive.

Whether it's "healthy" to be fat is a different discussion.

Yep, this.

At a certain level of fatness there's more to it--it becomes uncomfortable and may interfere with activity that is normally part of daily life--but if not at that level I suspect it's largely about meeting social norms. It is for me, as I'm sure those norms contribute to my idea of what is attractive.

itsbasschick

there are statues and paintings covering hundreds of years featuring women considered to be beautiful who have bellies and thighs that these days would be considered fat, but at those times and in those cultures were considered beautiful and feminine. this question reminded me of this article i read a couple months ago about a woman who in 1912 was considered "perfect", and she weighed 171 pounds.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/26/perfect-woman-1912_n_2365529.html

Iwishyouwell

Yeah I think most of it is just social. There are cultures where being overweight is enviable but that's not really the western ideal right now. Honestly the most attractive thing is normally the thing that the smallest portion of the population has and others can not easily get so fitness, wealth, large physical endowments, intellect...

You know what's interesting about that? The very, very miniscule amount of cultures in the world where fatness is deemed aesthetically desirable almost all prize excess fat on women. Not men. Even going back to brief periods in the past, like the Renaissance, when a softer form was praised, it's almost exclusively women we see prized (and even then we're not talking about actual obesity, but just a fuller, chubbier form).

I do wonder if there has ever been, or is, a single society where male fatness is seen as more attractive than leanness. The Japanese and Nauru, or example, believe in fattening some men for sport purposes, but not aesthetic desirability.

itsbasschick

not sure that men have been considered aesthetically at all as much as women have been. men's assets have often been defined in terms other than appearance - power, strength, earning, masculinity. when i was growing up in the early '60s, exept for jack lalane and other members of as my parents referred to them "fitness cranks", men's appearance was rarely referred to like women's appearances were on TV in commercials or in magazines.

years ago my son (who was very overweight) and i were walking out of his job when one of the guys who worked there - a japanese guy - told us he wished he was big like my son. he walked out with us, and i snapped something at him as i believed he was being sarcastic. he replied that he had been raised in the believe that bigger men were more masculine and powerful, to be admired.

have no idea if this is culturally true or if it was his or his family's interpretation.

and in the gay bear community, men with a belly and some weight are considered masculine and appealing.

segovm

Yeah I think most of it is just social. There are cultures where being overweight is enviable but that's not really the western ideal right now. Honestly the most attractive thing is normally the thing that the smallest portion of the population has and others can not easily get so fitness, wealth, large physical endowments, intellect...

You know what's interesting about that? The very, very miniscule amount of cultures in the world where fatness is deemed aesthetically desirable almost all prize excess fat on women. Not men. Even going back to brief periods in the past, like the Renaissance, when a softer form was praised, it's almost exclusively women we see prized (and even then we're not talking about actual obesity, but just a fuller, chubbier form).

I do wonder if there has ever been, or is, a single society where male fatness is seen as more attractive than leanness. The Japanese and Nauru, or example, believe in fattening some men for sport purposes, but not aesthetic desirability.

Samoans I think would fit the bill for the guys even today.

I would imagine that anytime food is scarce weight is attractive since it's a sign of wealth / power.

misschoppo

Because you don't look good or feel good when you are fat and that about sums it up.

pretty much this

ThatMouse

For me, it's a several fold question:

1) Health. First and foremost. My family is pre-disposed to diabetes and numerous other health problems (hypertension included). By staying in the lower range of healthy weight, I vastly improve my odds of avoiding these or making them more manageable if I do manifest them. Being fat will aggravate it.

2) Longevity. Even if you can live until you're 80 while being fat, I've seen those people in the continuing care center my grandmother lives in. She's there due to massive other health problems (mismanaged diabetes and stroke), but is more mentally active and healthy than her co-residents who are massively overweight (and how they can be so on such a strictly managed diet, I don't understand - someone is bringing them in food and it isn't the nurses). I want to be lifting heavy weights and climbing mountains and outrunning my grandchildren (or greatgrandchildren) when I'm 80. I DO NOT want to be immobile, useless or frail. I want to fight for my life and keep on fighting.

3) Vanity. I look good in clothes. I'm still "fat" in my eyes - normal weight, yes, but I have more body fat on me than I want. Health-wise, I'm here. Longevity, I'm also here. Vanity? Nope. Not there yet. I want to look hella smoking hot in a monokini, tankini, bikini - whatever. I want to look amazing in nothing at all. Because I can, because I want to, because I want to be the best woman I can be for my boyfriend, because I want to turn heads, because I want to garner attention just so I can turn to my man and say "Sorry boys, I'm taken" and stroll off into a sunset with him. And because he's doing the same for me.

4) Discipline. I do not need excess. Fatness is a measure of excess in today's society. I want to enjoy life - not drown in it. For this, I must be mobile, must be able to go without food for a day (think fasting - oh, am I too busy having fun to eat? No biggie, I'll make it up tomorrow), must be able to enjoy minimalism. I find fitness and health and keeping myself "thin" to be an expression of this self-discipline.

5) (edit: added) Sports Performance. I practice martial arts (not anything too serious, but it's fun) and aim to be involved in several other more physical pursuits (taiko drumming for one). If I'm fat as a martial artist that presents several problems - I'm slower, I'm a bigger target, my joints can't take as much strain under the excess weight. Fat and involved in other physical pursuits - I have to move more mass. I'm ultimately a lazy person, I don't want to move more mass than I want. Also, I look better performing if I'm thinner. Better look = sell the points I score more = win more fights. Slim figure + lean muscle = more mobility and agility = dodge kicks and punches to get into guards = score points = win and improve skill. I'm not going to beat that guy who's 1'2" taller than me if I'm not the leanest, meanest, quickest fighting machine I can be.

6) Children. This should be self-explanatory. My future kids need a role model - a mom they can respect, look up to and trust. Growing up with a fat mother who let her complacency for her health ooze into her (non-existent) career, home life and marital relationship, I cannot respect or trust her. She believes I must for the sole reason that she is my mother. I believe respect, no matter who it is, is earned. If I were fat and out of shape, how could I expect my kids to respect me? If I don't have the strength or energy to defend them, play with them, join them in their activities, how could I expect them to trust me? If I don't provide an example of what discipline, self-love and effort can cultivate in a person - an example of a full, healthy, active, engaged life - how can I expect them to look up to me? I am an example for my (future) children, my nieces and nephews, my friends, my family. How can I accomplish that if I don't even take care of my one and only body?

So yeah. That's why I hate being fat. It's a sign of complacency, lack of discipline, lack of effort and lack of self-respect and love. At least, that's what it is to me.

Meerataila

there are statues and paintings covering hundreds of years featuring women considered to be beautiful who have bellies and thighs that these days would be considered fat, but at those times and in those cultures were considered beautiful and feminine. this question reminded me of this article i read a couple months ago about a woman who in 1912 was considered "perfect", and she weighed 171 pounds.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/26/perfect-woman-1912_n_2365529.html

She was a perfect pear shape by measurements. Then again, if, as it was reported, she really did have a figure similar to the Venus de Milo, she also had a six pack. She probably really did have more muscle than most of us do now. Maybe it shows that fit was the old skinny as much as that voluptuous was prized more than it is today.

ValGogo

Because it's uncomfortable and yucky. Because I don't like to sweat the seat of my pants. Because I don't like inner thigh rash. Because I like to breathe with ease. Because I like to be able to run in case of an emergency. Becasue it's not healthy.

I could go on.....why, is being "fat" somehow good and healthy adn the ideal state for a human being?

lavaughan69

I've always hated being fat because growing up the cute boys always liked the thin girls, the thin people always picked other thin people first in gym (and really, who could blame them!), thin people were always the most popular...except for the fat funny guy...he always managed to get in the popular group. And for me, that's where it began, puberty. I can't say that I remember a time prior to puberty that I really cared much about how I looked.

I think from a very female perspective, guys spend a lot of time going on about "hot girls", pointing out "hot girls", hanging calendars of "hot girls" etc, and I can't help but compare myself to what the opposite sex considers "hot" and dammit, it's not me!! Well it didn't use to me, but if I do say so myself, I think now that I'm at goal I look great, and dare I say hot!

So essentially I guess what I'm saying is I hate being fat because I care too much about what other people think, especially the opposite sex.

hmmm, that probably makes me shallow...Okay, I change my answer, it's because it's not healthy to be fat.

snowflake954

I also have seen paintings of corpulent women that are considered beautiful, and have asked my husband "why on her, and not on me?" He just laughs. As for men--all you paleo people, going back to our origins should get it at a glance---an overweight, nonfit, hunter couldn't have brought home much bacon--literaly. So, I think you guys have to consider male beauty and practicallity go back a long way.

laynerich15

for me I just didn't like to look of my self

Chevy_Quest

Good Post OP

I grew up thin and have been about 40-50 lbs overweight most of my adult life. I am finally doing something about it for good and it will take me about 18 months to get to where I want to be.

As I am getting more fit (notice I didn't say lose weight) I notice the following:

1. I can move easier.
2. I like to exercise a lot more - it is not a burden, but it is now my "entertainment"
3. I feel more confident
4. I don't sweat as much on hot days just walking around (less self conscious too).
5. Clothes fit better - I am not always hiding my stomach
6. I feel better about myself because I know "inside" I am doing something to better myself every day!

I sincerely feel that I have wasted a good portion of my adult life dealing with excess weight and the emotional baggage that accompanies it - Can't change it but I can do something about the future!

accelerashawn

I personally hated being fat because I got out of breath easily, I felt self conscious about my blub, clothes fit annoyingly, sports became more difficult, bedroom activities were also more difficult, stairs were hard, anything requiring physical activity had to be avoided, pictures of myself were not fun to look at, and if someone mugged me or my wife i'd want to chase them down and make them regret it but I knew I couldnt catch anyone.

I played all kinds of sports as a kid and loved it. I was great at a lot of sports because i was fit. Tennis, basketball (guard), soccer, football (WR, RB, LB), volleyball, skiing, etc...all required good fitness.

All i could do when i got large was bowling, beer pong, *kitten*, darts....actually now thinking about it, beer was the main reason for my weight gain...haha.

likitisplit

I hate the way it feels when my stomach fat pushes up into my ribcage when I bend over.

I hate feeling my tummy pressing against my thighs when I sit.

I like being able to have a clear view of my underwear.

I like having a full range of motion and physical stamina, which is easier to maintain when I'm at a healthy weight.

And, yes, I like being able to match the picture in my head of what "attractive" looks like for me. That might be socially ingrained, but it is what it is.

smantha32

Because it's uncomfortable and yucky. Because I don't like to sweat the seat of my pants. Because I don't like inner thigh rash. Because I like to breathe with ease. Because I like to be able to run in case of an emergency. Becasue it's not healthy.

THIS.

ValGogo

there are statues and paintings covering hundreds of years featuring women considered to be beautiful who have bellies and thighs that these days would be considered fat, but at those times and in those cultures were considered beautiful and feminine. this question reminded me of this article i read a couple months ago about a woman who in 1912 was considered "perfect", and she weighed 171 pounds.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/26/perfect-woman-1912_n_2365529.html

She was a perfect pear shape by measurements. Then again, if, as it was reported, she really did have a figure similar to the Venus de Milo, she also had a six pack. She probably really did have more muscle than most of us do now. Maybe it shows that fit was the old skinny as much as that voluptuous was prized more than it is today.

By the way, these body models from the ancient greek and "de milo" times were not really the norm for the time. Being a naked model was not a high profession. These models were probably workers and had farming backgrounds or were slaves or courtesans in a time when having a suntan was a show of the common worker and the elite did nothing all day but live large and have pale skin to show they did not do outdoor work. I will assume that the proviliged persons from that time were sloppy as well.

We don't live in the dark ages anymore (well, you'd think we don't) where being fat is a show of wealth and good health. Lets stay in this century, shall we?

ValGogo

I personally hated being fat because I got out of breath easily, I felt self conscious about my blub, clothes fit annoyingly, sports became more difficult, bedroom activities were also more difficult, stairs were hard, anything requiring physical activity had to be avoided, pictures of myself were not fun to look at, and if someone mugged me or my wife i'd want to chase them down and make them regret it but I knew I couldnt catch anyone.

I played all kinds of sports as a kid and loved it. I was great at a lot of sports because i was fit. Tennis, basketball (guard), soccer, football (WR, RB, LB), volleyball, skiing, etc...all required good fitness.

All i could do when i got large was bowling, beer pong, *kitten*, darts....actually now thinking about it, beer was the main reason for my weight gain...haha.

"blub" that is the cutest word I've ever heard :laugh:

And about exercise as a kid, let me tell you, I love to rollerskate and the excess weight on my knees is not good. More prone to injuries when I'm fat(ter).

Veil5577

It's a self image thing. Let's face it, people treat you differently when you're attractive to them.

It's also a health thing.. it physically feels better to be in shape than to be overweight. Being overweight or obese can lead to health issues that make life miserable and cost money.