Why Do We Hate Being Fat So Much?
Replies
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In my experience, I didn't hate my body, even when I was at my heaviest I still thought I was beautiful. I had good days and bad days like anyone, but I've always been a little bit of a diva.
However, the things that I hated were the way people treated me. I hated feeling nervous walking down the street because people would make rude comments out the window of their cars at me. Girls in dressing rooms at stores would giggle at me. Don't get me started about my online dating experience (though I did eventually meet my current boyfriend of 2.5 years on a dating website).
ETA: I also hated things like needing a seat belt extender on flights, not being able to ride certain rides at carnivals or amusement parks because of my weight. When you're that large you have to get special accommodations or you are excluded, and that's a terrible feeling.
I've talked several times about sea turtle conservation being a very physically demanding field. If I want to work out on nesting beaches, haul sick turtles around in a rehabilitation hospital, conduct research out on boats or scuba dive with them in the ocean - I have to be in damn good shape. When I started doing internships, I realized that I needed to get into shape so that I could pursue my dreams. If I wanted to stay at close to 300 pounds - I would never get those types of experiences.
I guess what it really came down to was my weight was holding me back. Whether it's right or wrong, I was judged by strangers and deemed incapable of doing certain types of things. I want those experiences I mentioned more than I want to be able to eat with abandon every day. I want those experiences more than I want to sit on my couch watching TV every night instead of exercising. I want more out of life than my body was allowing me to do. I'm a total of 57 pounds down and I'm feeling great, though I have a long way to go. I'm excited about the future and I feel like I have control of the direction my life is taking and that is empowering.0 -
My body HURTS being 30-40 lbs overweight.
I wake up and my back hurts. I walk and my knees hurt. I'm not as active because it isn't as enjoyable as it used to be. Even things like sex aren't as enjoyable.
I am only 33 and have only been this fat since the birth of my third child, who is 10 months old. It has been such a short time that the physical symptoms are very obvious.
Society plays a role in why I don't like the way my body LOOKS.
That is why I hate being fat.0 -
Because you don't look good or feel good when you are fat and that about sums it up.
Never overweight in my younger days... (not until age 40 then BAMMM!!)
Anyway, it really sucks if you have such poor endurance that 2 flights of stairs make you tired...really tired...0 -
I've been overweight for as long as I can remember. My parent's are both skinny and my brother is very fit! So, I am the odd man out. And I don't feel good. I have no energy!! I want to be able to run and play with my kids'!0
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I've always hated being fat because growing up the cute boys always liked the thin girls, the thin people always picked other thin people first in gym (and really, who could blame them!), thin people were always the most popular...except for the fat funny guy...he always managed to get in the popular group. And for me, that's where it began, puberty. I can't say that I remember a time prior to puberty that I really cared much about how I looked.
I think from a very female perspective, guys spend a lot of time going on about "hot girls", pointing out "hot girls", hanging calendars of "hot girls" etc, and I can't help but compare myself to what the opposite sex considers "hot" and dammit, it's not me!! Well it didn't use to me, but if I do say so myself, I think now that I'm at goal I look great, and dare I say hot!
So essentially I guess what I'm saying is I hate being fat because I care too much about what other people think, especially the opposite sex.
hmmm, that probably makes me shallow...Okay, I change my answer, it's because it's not healthy to be fat.
I'm right there with you. With society we are taught that unless you're thin, you're not worthy. Sad but true!0 -
I hate being fat because I can't walk into a clothing store and know that something in there is going to fit. I know I should consider health reasons and all that, but it's honestly the shopping that does it. It's why back to school shopping was always miserable for me, it's why I'd never consider shopping with my friends.0
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Your hatred is completely a social mindset. Other cultures don't necessarily see fat as unattractive.
Whether it's "healthy" to be fat is a different discussion.
That's my take on it as well.
We are conditioned to equate fat with failure.
Totally. There's a lot of symbolism behind someone simply being fat. Thats why we're all judged so harshly and notice the difference in the way people treat us after we've lost all the weight. A lot of negative connotations go off in a person's head when they see a fat person and they don't even realize it.
A fat person:
- Is lazy
- Doesn't make good choices in life because look at them. They're fat! So clearly a bad choice
- Gluttonous. Give into temptation way more often than they should
- Doesn't care about appearance or conforming to social norms, which doesn't make them a team player
- No regard for their health
- Just gross to look at
- Low class
Not saying it's right, but this is what people think. Just ask those that have lost a bunch of weight and are all of a sudden treated nicer without acting any differently. It's not all in their head0 -
Well honestly I don't think it's that much of a stretch most problems with being fat arise from vanity issues and fear of illness and death. Both of which are commonly associated with it. People tend to see it as an indication of laziness and gluttony too.
I'm not saying that's always right but that's how it is. People are more often than not mind meltingly shallow.0 -
American society looks down on being overweight. It is more than cosmetic because that is validated by the fact that it is unhealthy to be fat.
So to be fat is to disrespect ones health and gift of ones health and it makes us hate ourselves when we are fat and subjects us to the judgment of others.0 -
I'm significantly cuter when not fat.
And sex is better.
THIS!!!!! I hate my belly rubbing against someone else's when I'm fat. And lets not even get into all of the inappropriate places that jiggle when one is um....on top :blushing: No matter how beautiful your partner says you are, there is no healing the pain of a fat girl naked in front of a hot guy smh.0 -
I wasn't always fat, but in my head I have been.
I wasn't more than ten when I was asking the doctor to put me on a diet. As a teenager, I never dated because I was "fat" (I'm 5'9" and in high school I weighed 140).
I'm tired of being tired. I ache always. I'm always sick - is my immunity shot because I'm fat? I don't really know, but I don't recall feeling like this when I was younger.
I don't actually care if I'm considered attractive to a total stranger or not. I'm married, I'm not looking to bring anyone else home. But what I truly don't care for is the social stigma attached to being fat. I don't need to have some total stranger point out to me that I'm a fat cow or whatever. Got a mirror for that, thanks. But I don't need or want the verbal abuse.
I think what I'm also tired of, besides being fat, is the people who feel the need to point this out, in what they think, is some sort of helpful manner. The assumptions that are made, or the absolute crock that will come out of someone's mouth because "they know" is just.... annoying.
I may have a long way to go, but I'm closer to being skinny (personally, I'd rather have some curves still) than some people will ever be to being human.0 -
In my experience, I didn't hate my body, even when I was at my heaviest I still thought I was beautiful. I had good days and bad days like anyone, but I've always been a little bit of a diva.
However, the things that I hated were the way people treated me. I hated feeling nervous walking down the street because people would make rude comments out the window of their cars at me. Girls in dressing rooms at stores would giggle at me. Don't get me started about my online dating experience (though I did eventually meet my current boyfriend of 2.5 years on a dating website).
ETA: I also hated things like needing a seat belt extender on flights, not being able to ride certain rides at carnivals or amusement parks because of my weight. When you're that large you have to get special accommodations or you are excluded, and that's a terrible feeling.
I've talked several times about sea turtle conservation being a very physically demanding field. If I want to work out on nesting beaches, haul sick turtles around in a rehabilitation hospital, conduct research out on boats or scuba dive with them in the ocean - I have to be in damn good shape. When I started doing internships, I realized that I needed to get into shape so that I could pursue my dreams. If I wanted to stay at close to 300 pounds - I would never get those types of experiences.
I guess what it really came down to was my weight was holding me back. Whether it's right or wrong, I was judged by strangers and deemed incapable of doing certain types of things. I want those experiences I mentioned more than I want to be able to eat with abandon every day. I want those experiences more than I want to sit on my couch watching TV every night instead of exercising. I want more out of life than my body was allowing me to do. I'm a total of 57 pounds down and I'm feeling great, though I have a long way to go. I'm excited about the future and I feel like I have control of the direction my life is taking and that is empowering.
This has A LOT to do with it for me. An expanding mid section doesn't really hurt much working in the classroom, but I want to start interviewing for doctoral programs in the next year or two, I WILL be judged for my physical capability when it comes to working in the field. I know I have the necessary muscle, but being so fat I can't haul my own weight back in to the boat without assistance, that's a problem.
*OK, so I admit it's also A LOT of fun fitting in to the same clothes I wore a decade ago when I was in college and an athlete :laugh: .*0 -
I hate being fat because it hurts me, I sweat more, and physically I can't do all the things my skinny husband can.
MOST of all , I don't like how I look in the mirror, it's not a society conditioning thing, I was a skinny child until a ton of meds blew me up. I remember what it felt like to have a flat belly (granted it's been 20 years). At the end of the day, the fact I can grab my belly and flap it up and down is a big incentive to lose weight, gross ? yeah but you asked lol0 -
I'm significantly cuter when not fat.
And sex is better.
THIS!!!!! I hate my belly rubbing against someone else's when I'm fat. And lets not even get into all of the inappropriate places that jiggle when one is um....on top :blushing: No matter how beautiful your partner says you are, there is no healing the pain of a fat girl naked in front of a hot guy smh.
hahahah I love this!!!0 -
I'm significantly cuter when not fat.
And sex is better.
THIS!!!!! I hate my belly rubbing against someone else's when I'm fat. And lets not even get into all of the inappropriate places that jiggle when one is um....on top :blushing: No matter how beautiful your partner says you are, there is no healing the pain of a fat girl naked in front of a hot guy smh.
hahahah I love this!!!
And thank you for being brave enough to post this!!! I would love to look good naked, girl :drinker:0 -
I think it basically comes down to people don't think fat people have any self control therefore they eat like gluttons and put themselves where they are. It may be partially true, but we are all programmed to love carbs and our diet being pushed all around us on commercials and store shelves are creating a population that eats what it considers normal. A paradigm shift is needed in how people view food in order to enable themselves to control their body compostion.0
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The health thing doesn't concern me as much as the social aspect.
The idea of settling down as a fat dad with a fat partner is disgusting to me. Would rather look beautiful and be miserable than being fat and "happy" for the rest of my life.
Seriously??? :noway:0 -
I don't have a problem with other people.
I don't like extra fat on my own body. I like to feel sleek. I like to grab my thighs and butt and feel that it is smooth, firm, and solid with a layer of smooth fat over muscle that I can feel. I like the way it looks and feels. It presents a look of health, youth, activity. I like the way my.body looks when I am using it for dance and other activities. I like having somewhat visible abs. Sorry if this is TMI, just trying to answer honestly. I just enjoy it when I am lean and fit. I like it.0 -
Society is the problem.We are society. We are the problem itself.0
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Your hatred is completely a social mindset. Other cultures don't necessarily see fat as unattractive.
Whether it's "healthy" to be fat is a different discussion.
That's my take on it as well.
We are conditioned to equate fat with failure.
Fat is also perceived as laziness and lack of self control.0 -
there are statues and paintings covering hundreds of years featuring women considered to be beautiful who have bellies and thighs that these days would be considered fat, but at those times and in those cultures were considered beautiful and feminine. this question reminded me of this article i read a couple months ago about a woman who in 1912 was considered "perfect", and she weighed 171 pounds.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/26/perfect-woman-1912_n_2365529.html
She was a perfect pear shape by measurements. Then again, if, as it was reported, she really did have a figure similar to the Venus de Milo, she also had a six pack. She probably really did have more muscle than most of us do now. Maybe it shows that fit was the old skinny as much as that voluptuous was prized more than it is today.
By the way, these body models from the ancient greek and "de milo" times were not really the norm for the time. Being a naked model was not a high profession. These models were probably workers and had farming backgrounds or were slaves or courtesans in a time when having a suntan was a show of the common worker and the elite did nothing all day but live large and have pale skin to show they did not do outdoor work. I will assume that the proviliged persons from that time were sloppy as well.
We don't live in the dark ages anymore (well, you'd think we don't) where being fat is a show of wealth and good health. Lets stay in this century, shall we?
The quoted article on the 'perfect woman' doesn't quite go back that far. It's from 1912. The young woman was compared to the de milo. I stated that, if she was comparable, she did indeed have more muscle tone than most of us have today.
If you kind of squint your eyes and look at representations of the female body across cultures and times, you'll get an impression of a prototypical ideal that is about 20-25% body fat and pretty strong. There are cultural standards and there are human standards. A healthy human woman is in that 25% body fat range and can do a fair amount of work. That seems to be the lynch pin that cultural standards swing around.0 -
I believe (from personal experiences myself being a fat child) that it is not socially acceptable with others. You dont hear people making fun of a persons weight with statements like "You're so fat, its bad for your health, and I am worried about you." Or even the "bad for your health" part.
When I was made fun of as a child, it was because others were just down right mean. When I lost the weight, I was more Socially accepted." I ended up with an eating disorder in high school because of others and their name calling, but as an adult, I lost weight because I personally didnt feel good about myself and wanted a healthier lifestyle.0 -
I think it basically comes down to people don't think fat people have any self control therefore they eat like gluttons and put themselves where they are. It may be partially true, but we are all programmed to love carbs and our diet being pushed all around us on commercials and store shelves are creating a population that eats what it considers normal. A paradigm shift is needed in how people view food in order to enable themselves to control their body compostion.
%100 agree. Food is for fuel, and it's great if it's tasty, too, but too many of us developed the mindset that food is a way to stimulate the pleasure centers in the brain, without regard for the nutritional value of it or whether or not we needed the calories. With the exception of serious athletes, who among us ever goes, "Uh oh! I'm so low on calories, but I've already exceeded my vitamin and mineral needs, what I could really use is some empty calories in the form of cookies!"0 -
I think it basically comes down to people don't think fat people have any self control therefore they eat like gluttons and put themselves where they are. It may be partially true, but we are all programmed to love carbs and our diet being pushed all around us on commercials and store shelves are creating a population that eats what it considers normal. A paradigm shift is needed in how people view food in order to enable themselves to control their body compostion.
%100 agree. Food is for fuel, and it's great if it's tasty, too, but too many of us developed the mindset that food is a way to stimulate the pleasure centers in the brain, without regard for the nutritional value of it or whether or not we needed the calories. With the exception of serious athletes, who among us ever goes, "Uh oh! I'm so low on calories, but I've already exceeded my vitamin and mineral needs, what I could really use is some empty calories in the form of cookies!"
Anybody on a bulk.0 -
I think it basically comes down to people don't think fat people have any self control therefore they eat like gluttons and put themselves where they are. It may be partially true, but we are all programmed to love carbs and our diet being pushed all around us on commercials and store shelves are creating a population that eats what it considers normal. A paradigm shift is needed in how people view food in order to enable themselves to control their body compostion.
%100 agree. Food is for fuel, and it's great if it's tasty, too, but too many of us developed the mindset that food is a way to stimulate the pleasure centers in the brain, without regard for the nutritional value of it or whether or not we needed the calories. With the exception of serious athletes, who among us ever goes, "Uh oh! I'm so low on calories, but I've already exceeded my vitamin and mineral needs, what I could really use is some empty calories in the form of cookies!"
Anybody on a bulk.
Hell, I'm cutting on 2400 to 2600 calories, I do this already.0 -
I think it basically comes down to people don't think fat people have any self control therefore they eat like gluttons and put themselves where they are. It may be partially true, but we are all programmed to love carbs and our diet being pushed all around us on commercials and store shelves are creating a population that eats what it considers normal. A paradigm shift is needed in how people view food in order to enable themselves to control their body compostion.
%100 agree. Food is for fuel, and it's great if it's tasty, too, but too many of us developed the mindset that food is a way to stimulate the pleasure centers in the brain, without regard for the nutritional value of it or whether or not we needed the calories. With the exception of serious athletes, who among us ever goes, "Uh oh! I'm so low on calories, but I've already exceeded my vitamin and mineral needs, what I could really use is some empty calories in the form of cookies!"
Anybody on a bulk.
Hell, I'm cutting on 2400 to 2600 calories, I do this already.
I put that in the realm of athletes, really. The rest of us define bulk as what happens when we're pudgy in a thick sweater.
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there are statues and paintings covering hundreds of years featuring women considered to be beautiful who have bellies and thighs that these days would be considered fat, but at those times and in those cultures were considered beautiful and feminine. this question reminded me of this article i read a couple months ago about a woman who in 1912 was considered "perfect", and she weighed 171 pounds.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/26/perfect-woman-1912_n_2365529.html
She was a perfect pear shape by measurements. Then again, if, as it was reported, she really did have a figure similar to the Venus de Milo, she also had a six pack. She probably really did have more muscle than most of us do now. Maybe it shows that fit was the old skinny as much as that voluptuous was prized more than it is today.
By the way, these body models from the ancient greek and "de milo" times were not really the norm for the time. Being a naked model was not a high profession. These models were probably workers and had farming backgrounds or were slaves or courtesans in a time when having a suntan was a show of the common worker and the elite did nothing all day but live large and have pale skin to show they did not do outdoor work. I will assume that the proviliged persons from that time were sloppy as well.
We don't live in the dark ages anymore (well, you'd think we don't) where being fat is a show of wealth and good health. Lets stay in this century, shall we?
The quoted article on the 'perfect woman' doesn't quite go back that far. It's from 1912. The young woman was compared to the de milo. I stated that, if she was comparable, she did indeed have more muscle tone than most of us have today.
If you kind of squint your eyes and look at representations of the female body across cultures and times, you'll get an impression of a prototypical ideal that is about 20-25% body fat and pretty strong. There are cultural standards and there are human standards. A healthy human woman is in that 25% body fat range and can do a fair amount of work. That seems to be the lynch pin that cultural standards swing around.
This is my thought, yes those depictions of women have fat on them, they also usually have some muscle on them, because for most of human history, other then the VERY elite, women had to be able to do some form of work. I think I look just fine with a bit of fat on me, I don't think I look good when either a. I get too much fat and can no longer do the work or b. I get flabby and no longer have the muscle tone I need to do the work.0 -
Good question.
Let's see...
I don't like the way I look when I'm fat. At my heaviest, I was around 40-50 pounds overweight. I didn't like the sight of a big (to me) gut.
My concern was based solely on aesthetics. It's unfathomable to me that someone would accept being overweight when health/mobility issues come into play. I'm not the most athletic individual, but I like to be able to run.0 -
there are statues and paintings covering hundreds of years featuring women considered to be beautiful who have bellies and thighs that these days would be considered fat, but at those times and in those cultures were considered beautiful and feminine. this question reminded me of this article i read a couple months ago about a woman who in 1912 was considered "perfect", and she weighed 171 pounds.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/26/perfect-woman-1912_n_2365529.html
She was a perfect pear shape by measurements. Then again, if, as it was reported, she really did have a figure similar to the Venus de Milo, she also had a six pack. She probably really did have more muscle than most of us do now. Maybe it shows that fit was the old skinny as much as that voluptuous was prized more than it is today.
By the way, these body models from the ancient greek and "de milo" times were not really the norm for the time. Being a naked model was not a high profession. These models were probably workers and had farming backgrounds or were slaves or courtesans in a time when having a suntan was a show of the common worker and the elite did nothing all day but live large and have pale skin to show they did not do outdoor work. I will assume that the proviliged persons from that time were sloppy as well.
We don't live in the dark ages anymore (well, you'd think we don't) where being fat is a show of wealth and good health. Lets stay in this century, shall we?
The quoted article on the 'perfect woman' doesn't quite go back that far. It's from 1912. The young woman was compared to the de milo. I stated that, if she was comparable, she did indeed have more muscle tone than most of us have today.
If you kind of squint your eyes and look at representations of the female body across cultures and times, you'll get an impression of a prototypical ideal that is about 20-25% body fat and pretty strong. There are cultural standards and there are human standards. A healthy human woman is in that 25% body fat range and can do a fair amount of work. That seems to be the lynch pin that cultural standards swing around.
This is my thought, yes those depictions of women have fat on them, they also usually have some muscle on them, because for most of human history, other then the VERY elite, women had to be able to do some form of work. I think I look just fine with a bit of fat on me, I don't think I look good when either a. I get too much fat and can no longer do the work or b. I get flabby and no longer have the muscle tone I need to do the work.
Agree with both of you. We were meant to be more active than most of us are, and it shows, and it makes us look softer than we would look with the exact same amount of fat.0 -
I think it basically comes down to people don't think fat people have any self control therefore they eat like gluttons and put themselves where they are. It may be partially true, but we are all programmed to love carbs and our diet being pushed all around us on commercials and store shelves are creating a population that eats what it considers normal. A paradigm shift is needed in how people view food in order to enable themselves to control their body compostion.
%100 agree. Food is for fuel, and it's great if it's tasty, too, but too many of us developed the mindset that food is a way to stimulate the pleasure centers in the brain, without regard for the nutritional value of it or whether or not we needed the calories. With the exception of serious athletes, who among us ever goes, "Uh oh! I'm so low on calories, but I've already exceeded my vitamin and mineral needs, what I could really use is some empty calories in the form of cookies!"
Anybody on a bulk.
Hell, I'm cutting on 2400 to 2600 calories, I do this already.
I put that in the realm of athletes, really. The rest of us define bulk as what happens when we're pudgy in a thick sweater.
Overeating on purpose according to a plan can be ridiculously hard. Everybody should try it some day. It bullet-proofs you against worries about accidentally gaining the weight back by an extra slice of pizza.0
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