Kids say the darndest things...

Options
13

Replies

  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
    Options
    I was telling my 13 year old how to get to her dads, she looks me dead in the eye and says "I dont speak map". I lost it.

    I guess I should add she speaks 4 other languages besides english! That makes it a bit funnier.

    I'm so going to use this line ... super smart kid you've got too
  • FJcntdwn2sknyluv
    FJcntdwn2sknyluv Posts: 651 Member
    Options
    In the Dollar Store yesterday a Mom and her 4 or 5 year old daughter pass me, while they are daughter say's " I Love you Mommy!'... Mom "I love you too sweetie"..... Daughter 'Can I have a balloon?".....

    Me and the Mom and this other lady who was a Mom, lost it in the isle.... we we're ALL thinking 'what does she want' when she said I love you... LOL... and then balloon :)....

    Never trust the love your child has for you at any store lol
  • MissMCassidy
    MissMCassidy Posts: 445
    Options
    I have a good one, when my 16 year old sister was about 3-4 we were driving to Texas with my mom and aunt and we got into a conversation about underthings somehow, my sister said to my aunt "I wear panties with princess do you have princess on your panties?" My aunt responds with "no I wear granny panties." Candice then says "you have pictures of grandmas on your panties say what?" Lmao!
  • AusAshMommy
    AusAshMommy Posts: 845 Member
    Options
    Mine aren't quite as hysterical as some of these but here we go:

    1. We live in a predominantly Black neighborhood and when my son started Kindergarten we were attending the open house and he looked me square in the eye and said "Mom there's a LOT of brown kids here" loud enough that all the heads turned toward us, I so wanted to run and hide

    2. We were on our way home from somewhere once and I noticed a long line of backed up cars on the bridge crossing the river parallel to where we were, I said thinking out loud "Wonder Where they are going" and without missing a beat my son said "No Where Fast" I couldn't contain myself

    3. We were having some friends over for New Year's Eve a few years ago and somehow the conversation turned and my daughter announced loudly "My Mom's Got Really Big Boobs, Bigger Than Miss X" OMG myself, my friend and my friends hubby just couldn't contain ourselves
  • fuzzysham
    fuzzysham Posts: 75 Member
    Options
    I was giving my little cousin a bath once when she was about 8 or so ( she's 12 now)
    and I was peeing while she was in the tub and she asks if she should look away and I said no we all have the same parts, who cares? and she was like I guess so.

    And she looks at me and says
    "so boys peepee's smell as bad as our peepee's?"
    and I said
    "well....I guess they do if they don't bathe everyday like you do"

    and they looked like she was in deep thought for about two minutes.

    It was great.
  • pita7317
    pita7317 Posts: 1,437 Member
    Options
    As a new stepmom, knowing absolutely nothing about children...I was in my 20's.
    For a couple weeks ! Everyday I would give my 4 1/2 yr old stepson a bath, dry him off, put his clothes and shoes on.
    Finally he announces to me one day. "I can do this you know."
    I felt like an idiot but it was so funny !
    I still wonder why he waited so long to tell me.
  • Reedern
    Reedern Posts: 525 Member
    Options
    My nephew when he was roughly about 5 or 6 was playing tag in the front yard with my mom when he ran around behind a tree and yelled to her "Bring it on wrinkles!" I nearly wet myself!

    We have a tradition of saying "see ya later alligator", "after while crocodile", and "see ya soon ya big baboon" in our family.... my nephew when he was little would say "see ya soon ya big bad moon" lmao

    My daughter and I are on our way to meet my friends for lunch for my birthday and we drive past the Redzone store and Gabby yells to me "Look Momma, its a Go Utes!" So I told her "yes Gabby that is the Go Utes store where you can buy lots of Go Utes stuff." She thinks about it for a minute then says, "Mmmmhmmmm, looks like the place for us!" She is so smart!!!
  • disneygallagirl
    disneygallagirl Posts: 515 Member
    Options
    I was out driving with my 2 sons, my youngest who was 6 at the time....I saw one of those small 2 seater Smart cars (it was bright blue). ..I go to the boys..look at the blue Smart car....my youngest goes...more like a smurf car!!

    I was playing the recorded movie of my son's 5th birthday party...my son asked me to put him in the tv so he could be at the party. Lol
  • Toria718
    Toria718 Posts: 396 Member
    Options
    last week my husband was holding my 6 week old when she started to lightly spit up. my 7 year old son says to his dad "dad be a man, men don't get grossed out' lol.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
    Options
    Loving these!

    Thought of another. I'm a lawyer, and one day my husband and I were out with my (then) 12 year old stepdaughter and we were talking about what we had on that week. I finished with "... and on Friday I have to go to Court". She was really quiet for a few seconds then leaned over and asked very quietly "... what did you DO?"

    I laughed so hard.
  • lna_1981
    lna_1981 Posts: 696 Member
    Options
    6 yr old son....watching all the old superman movies. Says Superman is from America, you know because he put the flag back up on the moon. Superman never loses energy because he's super ^_^ lol
  • KameHameHaaaa
    KameHameHaaaa Posts: 837 Member
    Options
    oh boy. i have a good one.....Last week I was on vacation with extended family, just chillin' on the beach, when my cousin's 6 year old looked at me and said "you look old. Are you going to die soon?".

    :laugh:

    Oh man kids are brutally honest. When I used to work in daycare one of the older kids was talking to me about how her mother was becoming obsessed with fitness and had them on a strict diet and exercise routine (her 6 year old brother who i also babysat had a 6 pack!)....The kid then lets out a big sigh and goes "I wish my mom was like you and just didn't care about how she looks"

    :sad: I wanted to go in the bathroom and cry
  • marvybells
    marvybells Posts: 1,984 Member
    Options
    oh boy. i have a good one.....Last week I was on vacation with extended family, just chillin' on the beach, when my cousin's 6 year old looked at me and said "you look old. Are you going to die soon?".

    :laugh:
    yeah they don't care to tell people how they feel haha or think.

    My guy.......repeats his father too much.

    I'm a sarcastic guy......so if someone messes up or does something wrong I go......Good Job winner. ..........so all I hear now when I hit something, drop something or etc is Good Job winner.........

    I asked him the other day......hey.....where did you hear that? He looked me straight in the eye and said "Facebook"

    I had to just walk away.(mind you he turned 4 yesterday)

    i know, they just say whatever comes to mind! i love it! At first i was shocked & i have to admit for a split second i was a wee bit upset that to her i looked so old that i must be near death-but then i burst out laughing. all i could think to tell her was "i sure hope not!" i kept laughing and that started her giggling. It was funny.
  • KameHameHaaaa
    KameHameHaaaa Posts: 837 Member
    Options
    Oh I have another one! ...But this one is about me, my parents still tell every new person I ever bring to meet them this story =/

    So while I was in the potty training phase, me, my parents and a bunch of their friends went out to eat at a restaurant. I had to use the bathroom at one point during dinner and so of course my mom escorted me to the bathroom to help me out...but I start screaming "NO! I DON'T WANT MOMMY TO WIPE ME! SHE DOESN'T WIPE GOOD!" Loooool my mom said she and dad about died because everyone in the restaurant heard it...
  • paperalien
    paperalien Posts: 167 Member
    Options
    When I was about 5 I went around adults asking what they have become, as in what there jobs were. My mum was a stay at home mum and she said that I turned to her and very loudly asked "Mum why didn't you become anything"

    She has since trained to be a teacher and I am very glad she was a stay at home mum for my brother and I.
  • Icandoityayme
    Icandoityayme Posts: 312 Member
    Options
    When my youngest was about 5, she use to run her hand down her face and either tell me I need to put make up on or I would never find a boyfriend looking like that. Another time I was teasing her and she ran her hand down her face all exasperated and said we need to find you a boyfriend, you have too much time on your hands lol.
  • CindyMarcuzAdams
    CindyMarcuzAdams Posts: 4,006 Member
    Options
    My oldest was starting school so the teacher came for an in home visit. She brought with her a puppet to show him so he would have a friend on his very first day. She asked him to give the puppet a name. Well he thought and he thought and couldnt think of a name. His 2 year old brother pipes up and says I know, I know...F¥CK HEAD. .. I wanted to die.
  • Kitten2629
    Kitten2629 Posts: 1,358 Member
    Options
    My husband was wearing pants WAY to big today. My 5 year old son walks up to him and says, "Daddy, do you know those pants make your butt look fat!"

    I busted out laughing.
  • feedmedonuts
    feedmedonuts Posts: 241 Member
    Options
    I heard from the neighboring stall at a public restroom recently "mommy why are you bleeding? Are you ok?"...VERY LOUDLY. Facepalmed for her :blushing:
  • Aradia_Silvermoon
    Aradia_Silvermoon Posts: 375 Member
    Options
    When my daughter was about 8 we were eating out at a local McDonald's and just having fun. I told her I loved her and she responded back "me too" and I jokingly said "well sometimes you don't act like it so I don't think you do!" she looked at me and said "Mommy if I didn't love you then I wouldn't share my fries with you!"

    Love it!! :laugh:

Categories