How did your doctor tell you you're fat??

Docbanana2002

My take on things is that so many people are so emotionally entitled that they think they have a Constitutional right to NOT be offended by the truth. If your doctor can't level with you, who can? Get over oneself.....

Some people lack such basic concern for others and/or basic social skills that they feel entitled to say whatever they think or feel in ways that hurt others and justify it as "Oh, we'll I'm just saying the truth!" There are multiple ways to say the truth... those that help educate a person about something they need to know and help them constructively address a problem.... and callous, hurtful ways that only serve to make the speaker feel superior and the listener feel worthless, but never really assist anyone.

The people upset with their doctors aren't mad because the doctor told them to lose weight. They are mad for being told in a way that was degrading, unhelpful, or nutritionally ill-informed. There's a big difference.

My doctor told me to lose weight, exercise, eat healthier because it would help with my blood pressure and cholesterol. No insults or random comments at vulnerable moments while I'm in the middle of a pap smear!! She just sat down and had a factual, respectful conversation with me about the health risks of my weight and habits. Gave me helpful suggestions. We even did an "experiment" where I lived super-healthy for just two weeks and then came back to have my BP checked again. It dropped 30 points on top from just that. Point taken.... my diet was making my health worse. She gave helpful advice, has been super supportive as I've lost weight. She is doing her job and doing it with proper bedside manner.

Veggie_mama

My ex-doctor advised me to put up a photo of a woman of a bikini on my fridge so that I will see that and be reminded that this is what I should look like instead of eating.
Uhm, never really wanted to wear a bikini and never stated to this particular doctor that I wanted to look like that.
Like many others, I'm aware of my eating and my weight. It's not something that I'd thank him for in the end, or any other moron out there that likes to point out that I'm overweight.
Am I healthy? Not as much as I could be.
Am I attractive? Sometimes I don't feel like I am.
Am I overweight? Duh!
Am I fat? Yes.
Do I care what others think? No. Although this is a new breakthrough for me.
I want to be healthy for my child. I want to be healthy for me. I want to play with my baby boy and not have to rest every 20 minutes because I'm tired.
My current physician just stated to me the facts that my BMI is in the obese category and I need to work on lowering my BMI due to higher risk factors and with family history, well, things need to change.
Nothing about appearance, it was about health with her. I can appreciate that much more.

Eselte

My doc didnt tell me I am fat. I told her I am. She gave me statistics on obesity then offered to prescribe appetite suppressants and offered to send me to a nutritionist and even gave me handouts on what to eat, servings, etc.

After beating around the bush for another year or two I decided to try it the old fashioned way: counting calories...

So I'm thinking I won't need the pills or dietician. I'm only ten days in but I'm sticking to it and it's slowly working.

jennyhoon

"Do the treadmill machine broke when you stepped on it?" <--I was weighted at 245lbs

Thanks to my doctor's cruel joke, I had lost from 245lbs to 188lbs within few years.

_Resolve_

He said:

"You are diabetic, cant walk, have sleep apnea and will likely die within 10 years and are 33, how many more reasons do you need to do something about this; how can I help"

then we made a plan, and I got to work.

ETA: After his speech he gave me his personal email address, and saved my life. All i needed was a stiff kick in the *kitten* with the bottom line defined clearly to me.

BusyBirdMommy

Some doctors are just jerks. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I've been really lucky - my doctor has very gently brought up the issue of my weight (when I was in for a bad knee). She tried to be positive and non-judgemental, which I really appreciated. I've had several relatives who weren't so lucky. One doc told a cousin "You are killing yourself. Do you want to die?" A little over-the-top blunt, but at least honest, I suppose.

Donald_Dozier_50

My doctor just mentioned the need for me to lose weight at a regular physical exam and I said little in reply to his comments. Eight months later at my next appointment he was shocked when I had lost 55 lbs. The funny thing was when he mentioned being concerned about such a drastic weight loss in that amount of time. I just laughed.

nmwhitney12

My ENDOCRINOLOGIST told me I could afford to skip a few meals...just like that. This was my first visit with her because I relocated...but I found a new one fast! She said some other rude things and even commented on how my eyebrows needed to be waxed lol.. like wth.

MinMin97

Well! Yes, your dr wasn't too salty with her speech gah!
Mine told me my BMI was a little high. I did not really care. BMI is not my thing. How I look in a bikini would be more my thing.

Cathalain

The physician at the ER told me on the day that he told me I had T2 diabetes. By then, no one really had to tell me I was unhealthy and out of shape, I already knew it. I could feel it every day of my life.

I went to an endocrinologist after I was diagnosed and asked her about weight loss surgery, and she said that she wouldn't stop me if I really wanted it, but that she wanted me to try and lose it on my own first.

I never did go back for the surgery. :drinker:

cbhubbybubble

When my youngest son went to the local public health nurse for his 2 year old shots and check up she said he was on the low average end of height, but a pound overweight and gave me a speech about how I should start keeping an eye on what he is eating, etc blah, blah, blah...a pound overweight!?!?! I was a little stunned to be getting an overweight kid talk for a 2yr old only 1lb overweight and felt a little like she was looking at me and my weight and assuming I fed him a diet of twinkies or something. Nothing was further from the truth as he'd pick broccoli as his treat when allowed to get one from the store. He's now almost an adult and has been slim and trim since he shot out of his toddler days. Seemed bizarre to me...still stands out in my head so many years later.

For myself, I don't recall any issues with my docs and my weight. Have talked about health things related, but never any that said anything about my specific weight that stood out to me.

LITtlerMeCO

In November 2013, I weighed 384 pounds at the doctor's office. My doctor sat down across from me and told me I needed to lose some weight, the same talk we had had 6 months earlier. She told me I should work on not gainning anymore by our next appointment, that in itself would be an accomplishment.

In May 2014 when I returned to the doctor I had gained 16 pounds, 400 pounds. I know she saw in my eyes the hurt and humiliation I felt.

She sat down across from me, took my hands in hers, and asked how could she help me. I cried and we talked for awhile.

She told me about this awesome website called MyFitnessPal.com. I've logged on everyday since, good days, bad days all days. I'm so glad she did. I'm eatting healthier and I've lost some weight. I know this journey will be long and sometimes difficult, but I will succeed.

Just watch me :-)

What a fantastic doctor!

And YAY YOU!

LucasEVille

He told me I was too big for the Tardis.

RachelWithoutAPaddle

None of my doctors ever told me I needed to lose weight. I am towards the lower-end of obese at 60-70lbs overweight, but not a single doctor told me I had to lose weight until I met with my surgeon and he just kind of tossed it my way "eat well, lose weight, do this" like it was just a casual statement.

short_nerdy_lady

I recently switched family doctors. Why, you ask? Well, I went in for an unrelated issue - one that still had me wearing the paper gown - and my doctor said to me when she lifted it up "Oh wow, you have a small face but such a big body". Then proceeded to prescribe me weight loss pills (which I never filled the prescription for). Unbe-freakin'-lievable. I am obviously quite aware of the fact that I am 50 - 60 lbs overweight. I found this to be quite rude and made me feel absolutely horrible and ashamed. I'm just wondering how other people's doctors "broke the bad news". Ha

Wow what an *kitten*! My doc never told me, but when I told her my plans to lose weight she said it would be a good idea and wanted to ensure I did it safe.

sistrsprkl

My ENDOCRINOLOGIST told me I could afford to skip a few meals...just like that. This was my first visit with her because I relocated...but I found a new one fast! She said some other rude things and even commented on how my eyebrows needed to be waxed lol.. like wth.

What?!? Your eyebrows? I hope you wrote her a glowing review

Lyndal816

Several years ago, I weighed 278 pounds and had to have an abdominal surgery -- not the bariatric kind but my size required the bariatric type of bed. One of the surgery nurses wheeled me into the surgery room. As soon as she got behind my bariatric gurney and started pushing me, I apologized to her as she wheeled me down the corridor and into a very cold, cold room. I met the doctor who was in charge of knocking me out and keeping me quiet for the next couple of hours.

“Oh, good you’re bringing me another obese one.” The “knock-out” (also known as the anesthesiologist) doctor said sarcastically as the nurse wheeled me over to the very skinny little operating table. Well, maybe he wasn’t being sarcastic but it certainly sounded that way to me. Yep, the more I think about it, the more I realize that he was dripping with sarcasm.

“Do you think you can move yourself over to this table – or are you too obese to do that?” I would swear there was a touch of disgust mixed with sarcasm in his voice.

“Doctor, is that comment really necessary?” My very kind and wonderful nurse asked as she helped me slide from the bariatric gurney to the table.
I valiantly wiggled, schooched (it’s not a word, but that’s what I felt I was doing), and was eventually able to plop myself onto the surgical table. Yes, there was “hang over” but at least they did NOT have to move two tables together in order to accommodate me and my size.

“Do you realize that you are obese?” The knock-out doctor asked me.

“Doctor,” my wonderful nurse warned again and she patted my arm and then asked if I was comfortable while checking my IV.
Hmmm, I thought. Did I realize I am obese – now that is certainly something to ponder upon? I’m obese? Well, now how-the-heck did that happen? I tried to act surprised as if he had just said something I’d never heard or even realize before. I don’t think acting is really my calling in life.

Here I am 56 years old and have lived with a weight problem for my entire life. Did he really just ask me if I realized that I was obese?

“Yes, I do realize that I am obese.” I somehow managed to say to him as I was trying not to be strangled by the fashionable gown that was somehow tangled around my neck.

“You do understand that your size is going to cause major complications for this surgery – and is probably even the reason you are having surgery today.” this man behind a mask informed me as he held some kind of contraption above my face. “Maybe you should simply stop eating so much when or, should I say, if you wake up.”

He obviously missed the patient sensitivity class when the hospital staff held it recently. And with that being my last thought, he put the contraption over my face and sent me straight into la-la land. Who knows what else he said to me when I wasn’t capable of listening.

Even though I went in for an abdominal surgery, it was not for a bariatric one. I would love to report when I woke up I was 100 pounds thinner but I guess I’ll just have to report that I am extremely thankful that I actually woke up. The dream of going to sleep and waking up 100 pounds lighter was and still is just a dream, after all. Based on how “dangerous” my obesity was for me during surgery, I know a miracle must have taken place.

But am I grateful to that masked man for making it happen? In all honestly – no, I am not grateful to that masked man. I suppose I should be thankful he kept me alive enough for me to be able to think his bedside manner really sucks!

“Did I realize that I was obese?” Yes, Dr. Knock-out, I did, somehow, know that I was obese – and – get this I actually knew this fact even without your words of wisdom informing me of that fact. Geez, did I realize I was obese – really?

But did YOU realize that the person lying on your surgical table was a lady that had so much more going for her than simply a large number on a scale? In your lifetime, Doctor, will you EVER meet a better Lyndal than the one you put under that day? You missed a golden opportunity to find out just how amazing I can be.

Dr. Knock-out, you have a lot of power – more than you might even realize. Going under the knife is a stressful situation – and believe me, I should know. With each surgery, there is always a risk. The words you say to the person on your table will certainly be the last they hear until they wake up. But what if they were the last words they hear while on this earth. What if I died and went to heaven without ever waking up? What if I had to repeat the very last words I heard on this earth to God as I arrived home? What if I had to relate who said them to me?

If the last words I heard before I died were “Maybe you should simply stop eating so much when or, should I say, if you wake up” that would have been a very tragic thing. Whew, that’s heavy – and you know what. For once, when I mention the word heavy, I am not referring to the numbers on a scale!

I am writing a book about my journey (or struggles) with my weight. This very long explanation of when a doctor told me I was fat is an excerpt of that book.

GiGiBeans

He walked into the room, picked up my chart & slammed it on the counter before spinning around and asking in a disgust filled voice "Are you even exercising?" Not even a hello first. He did me a favor being so obnoxious tho. I had been denial with the help of well meaning friends & family who would all tell me I was fine even tho I had gained 60 lbs in 5 years & was borderline obese.

My husband had the same doctor & told him I was trying to kill him by dragging him out on runs & hikes with me ever since he yelled about my weight. The doctor said he was happy I lost the weight I needed to, that only a third of his patients do and it's frustrating trying to get thru to them.

calliegirl73

I was 13 years old, finished growing at 4 ft 10.. I weighed 102lbs. Dr. poked my belly during a pre-op exam and said "Too Fat". I am now 143 and considered obese. Working on getting back down to that "too fat" weight of 102.

Cerakoala

He came into the room and said you have diabetes and sleep apnea. You just turned 27 what are we going to do to change this. Was the true wake up call for me.