Which is the worst person?

ChuckgM3
ChuckgM3 Posts: 302 Member
edited September 22 in Chit-Chat
This isn't to be taken too seriously, I'm just curious how gender roles might affect our perception of what is expected and what is considered more acceptable.

Please rank in order of 1 (worst) to 6 and state whether you are male or female. Yes, I understand you may want to give two or more people a tie, but that's not what this exercise is about, just assign an individual # to each based on your initial gut reaction.

Married Man knowingly having an affair with a married woman
Married Man having an affair with a single woman
Married Woman knowingly having an affair with a married man
Married woman having an affair with a single man
Single man knowingly having an affair with a married woman
Single woman knowingly having an affair with a married man

Thanks for indulging my curiosity.
«1

Replies

  • noble1987
    noble1987 Posts: 132
    1
    1
    1
    1
    1
    1

    EASY :ohwell:
  • Wiitabax
    Wiitabax Posts: 284
    Definitely 1 for all of them here too.

    Anyone who's in a relationship and KNOWS that someone is being affected by their cheating is NOT worth spitting on in my opinion.

    I spent a long time before meeting 'the right person' (being my wife Clare, who I've been married to for 11 years) - I could NEVER cheat on her and she feels likewise.

    Without trust? What's the point.

    That's my take on it anyhow.

    :smile:
  • FitJoani
    FitJoani Posts: 2,173 Member
    1
    1
    1
    1
    1
    1

    EASY :ohwell:
    I actually agree. Cheating is ALL bad and ALL wrong
  • ChuckgM3
    ChuckgM3 Posts: 302 Member
    Let me clarify that I do not identify myself with any of these people... This stemmed from a conversation I was having with an acquaintance who was in a "relationship" of sorts with a married person. Their argument was that since they themselves are not married they are doing no wrong and it's not up to them to judge the person they are with... They also had opinions that the consequences for being itentified as one of these people would vary greatly based on gender. I'm opting not to share my opinion on the subject because I'm truly curious what other people think. Obviously the easy answer is to say 1 for all but that wasn't what I asked.
  • Wiitabax
    Wiitabax Posts: 284
    No probs. I can see where you're coming from, but I honestly could NOT rate from 1 to 6 as I feel that they are all 'equal' to 1 Chuck.


    :smile:
  • bigdawg025
    bigdawg025 Posts: 774 Member
    Married Man knowingly having an affair with a married woman - 2
    Married Man having an affair with a single woman - 4
    Married Woman knowingly having an affair with a married man - 1
    Married woman having an affair with a single man - 3
    Single man knowingly having an affair with a married woman - 6
    Single woman knowingly having an affair with a married man - 5
  • kate205gti
    kate205gti Posts: 84 Member
    all as bad as each other tbh - if you're married you take vows to be faithful. Get a divorce if you're not going to stick to them! :tongue:
  • Luckymam
    Luckymam Posts: 300
    This isn't to be taken too seriously, I'm just curious how gender roles might affect our perception of what is expected and what is considered more acceptable.

    Please rank in order of 1 (worst) to 6 and state whether you are male or female. Yes, I understand you may want to give two or more people a tie, but that's not what this exercise is about, just assign an individual # to each based on your initial gut reaction.

    Married Man knowingly having an affair with a married woman
    Married Man having an affair with a single woman
    Married Woman knowingly having an affair with a married man
    Married woman having an affair with a single man
    Single man knowingly having an affair with a married woman
    Single woman knowingly having an affair with a married man

    Thanks for indulging my curiosity.

    1)Married man having affair with single woman - man is cheating on wife but is potentially stopping single woman from having a 'proper' relationship with a single person.

    2)Married woman having affair with single man - for the same reason as above, but I tend tend to think (maybe incorrectly) that women have affairs for emotional reasons rather than physical urges
    .
    3)Married man having affair with married woman - man is wrecking two relationships.

    4)Married woman having affair with married man - same reasons as above.

    5)Single man having affair with married woman - man getting his sexual needs fulfilled whilst potentially ruining a marriage isn't good but I feel ultimately, the one in the wrong is the one in a relationship. The single man has no loyalties to the woman's husband.

    6)Single woman having affair with married man - I would perceive this as the woman being in love with the married man. Not great, but again, I believe the one in the marriage is at fault, not the mistress.
  • LastFighter
    LastFighter Posts: 175 Member
    Single man knowingly having an affair with a married woman

    Guy code.
  • MISTTIMG
    MISTTIMG Posts: 136
    Yeah, I agree with the all (1's) reply's, It's all bad. That's like folding a blanket.. you can fold it any way you want but It's still a blanket.
  • guardup
    guardup Posts: 230
    I assume the term "affair" means that the stated persons are involved in clandestine relationships where the significant other does not provide approval. Hence, the summation of "cheating".

    I ask because I know a few longtime married couples who are in open or polyamorous relationships where all parties are in the know and approve. As such, there is no "cheating". However, it's been my understanding that these couples do face all kinds of external judgment from society in general which views their lifestyle as immoral. To which I am perplexed... because to me, the immorality is in the deception.

    As for ranking the degree acceptability of cheating by gender... I suppose that depends upon your cultural gender bias - conscious or otherwise.

    Like most others here, I would not attach acceptability of cheating to gender any more than I would attach acceptability of lying or theft to any gender.

    I know you are seeking a specific response that supports or denies your position. But I think the number of responses here that refuse to attach gender to an immoral behavior IS a viable response... just not one that you are looking for.

    When looking for answers, it's sometimes best to clear our expectations.
  • iishnova
    iishnova Posts: 259 Member
    All of them, but I have to go with 6 as I'm biased. My best friend slept with my husband (talk about knowingly right?)
  • alantin
    alantin Posts: 621 Member
    2)Married woman having affair with single man - for the same reason as above, but I tend tend to think (maybe incorrectly) that women have affairs for emotional reasons rather than physical urges

    So emotional unfaithfullness is not as bad as physical?
    In my opinion, the first one leads to the second so that one is much worse. Or in other words, The first one is the sickness and the second, a symptom.

    I myself would have to go with all 1's reply too. A single person being in love doesn't make it okay for that person to go after a married person and defile the other ones commitment and love for another although the other one is responsible for the same if he/she goes along with it.

    I'm not so sure if that was so coherent. Why does English have different pronouns for men and women..? :ohwell:
  • alantin
    alantin Posts: 621 Member
    All of them, but I have to go with 6 as I'm biased. My best friend slept with my husband (talk about knowingly right?)

    I don't think that should make YOU feel it to be less wrong even if you forgave..


    @guardup

    Profound. Well said. :smile:
  • Kate_UK
    Kate_UK Posts: 1,299 Member
    No probs. I can see where you're coming from, but I honestly could NOT rate from 1 to 6 as I feel that they are all 'equal' to 1 Chuck.


    :smile:

    Yup, same here.
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
    We're voting on varying combinations of infidelity?

    You left out Married man with Single Man and Married Woman with Single Woman.

    Just to clarify, can a person get a free pass, if they are on vacation and it will never happen again? What about if you paid for it? Closing time and spouse is 1,000 miles away? What if your spouse cheated and this is just payback cheating? Club Med? Frat Party? Happy Ending?

    Gonna run it by my wife, get her opinion. If I'm not back in 1 hour, send someone in to get me.
  • leanmass24
    leanmass24 Posts: 304 Member
    I don’t think that people should get married in the first place... It is against human nature... we are very social animals. The only benefit to getting married is tax write offs, at least for men. Divorces are so easy to get marriage is not as meaningful as it once was anyway. Yes, I have been married before, no I never cheated on anyone, and I am not the one that wanted to get divorced. However, I am glad that it happened the way it did because I learned a lot. I am sure I have opened a can of worms here, but it is my opinion so you don’t have to like it or agree with it... As for my rating I give them all #1s because I am just a strong believer in keeping my word. If you say that you are going to be with someone exclusively you should stick by that.
  • Debtappe
    Debtappe Posts: 164 Member
    Sorry, can't rank them. They are all 1's. a promise is a promise. Female.
  • JaneZv
    JaneZv Posts: 200
    Let me clarify that I do not identify myself with any of these people... This stemmed from a conversation I was having with an acquaintance who was in a "relationship" of sorts with a married person. Their argument was that since they themselves are not married they are doing no wrong and it's not up to them to judge the person they are with... They also had opinions that the consequences for being itentified as one of these people would vary greatly based on gender. I'm opting not to share my opinion on the subject because I'm truly curious what other people think. Obviously the easy answer is to say 1 for all but that wasn't what I asked.

    With my experiences, I am more inclined to think whenever there is an affair, there is more to the story. Although I do agree ALL of these are wrong, I do tend to agree with "your acquaintance".

    I'm female.

    There is an element of gender biasness to it if I had to rank this from 1-6. I wouldn't do that. My considerations are married vs. single, and on the basis of neither is cheating with any of the couple's friends/acquaintance but a complete stranger.

    Married Man knowingly having an affair with a married woman 1
    Married Man having an affair with a single woman 2
    Married Woman knowingly having an affair with a married man 1
    Married woman having an affair with a single man 2
    Single man knowingly having an affair with a married woman 2
    Single woman knowingly having an affair with a married man 2
  • StacLegg
    StacLegg Posts: 346 Member

    Just to clarify, can a person get a free pass, if they are on vacation and it will never happen again? What about if you paid for it? Closing time and spouse is 1,000 miles away? What if your spouse cheated and this is just payback cheating? Club Med? Frat Party? Happy Ending?

    Gonna run it by my wife, get her opinion. If I'm not back in 1 hour, send someone in to get me.


    RoadDog~ Have your wife call me ~ I will help her!!!! :laugh:
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