Which is the worst person?

Scorpiomom222

I honestly think that anyone who doesn't rate them all the same is delusional. Cheating is cheating and it's wrong. Plain and simple. 1 for all of them.

Scorpiomom222

All of them, but I have to go with 6 as I'm biased. My best friend slept with my husband (talk about knowingly right?)

ugh That just makes me sick to my stomach. Sorry you had to go through that.

Wiitabax

I honestly think that anyone who doesn't rate them all the same is delusional. Cheating is cheating and it's wrong. Plain and simple. 1 for all of them.

I agree there!

RoadDog

Just to clarify, can a person get a free pass, if they are on vacation and it will never happen again? What about if you paid for it? Closing time and spouse is 1,000 miles away? What if your spouse cheated and this is just payback cheating? Club Med? Frat Party? Happy Ending?

Gonna run it by my wife, get her opinion. If I'm not back in 1 hour, send someone in to get me.

RoadDog~ Have your wife call me ~ I will help her!!!! :laugh:

Actually, I'm afraid to ask her. She's kind of retro so I bought her a Mood Ring for her birthday. Remember them? Anyways, when she's in a good mood, it turns green. When she's in a bad mood, It leaves an angry red welt on my forehead.

Can't chance it.

ChuckgM3

I totally understand why most people would vote them all #1s since that's how I feel for the most part, however I do believe more responsibility lies on the person in the relationship.

I've had a marriage and an LTR both end with infidelity (not on my part... That's not to say our relationship was healthy and I didn't think about it, but I didn't act on it) and when I think back, in neither case did I have the slightest anger towards the guy, all of my anger was directed towards my wife/gf... I didn't even care who the guy was... I just assumed he was a horny dude looking to get laid however he could, and to be honest, if it wasn't with him it was going to be with someone else.... Its not like all guys are going to say "oh you are married, that's wrong, I'm not going to sleep with you" I'm sure she wouldn't have to ask too many to get the answer she wanted.

@luckymam: I think yours is a common viewpoint but it does assume common gender stereotypes about both men and women and you tend to excuse women for it

@guardup: yes, talking about affairs where deceit is involved, of course to each their own in open relationships, if there is honesty there's no cheating, good on them. And yes, it is a valid reponse, it's just the default one.

@iishnova: ouch, I'm very sorry to hear that, because in a time like that, your best friend is who you need most and she betrayed you as badly as he did. I hope you've eliminated them both from your life for your sake.

@ leanmass: I tend to agree with you here, most call me jaded but I prefer to think of myself as enlightened.

@everyone: thanks for your input... I truly find this kind of stuff fascinating and I know there is always more than meets the eye. I think latent gender roles, sexism, feminism, chauvinism, and sexuality play larger roles beneath the surface than most of us are comfortable admitting so to me it's always fun to talk about.

elainegsd

Count me in the all 1's group. I can tell you from experience that there isn't much worse than having this conversation with my own mother, who thinks that since she is single, and the guy is in an "unhappy marriage", that it is OK.

In a relationship, either everybody is single, or they are married to each other. Anything else is just wrong.

Aid_B

I honestly think that anyone who doesn't rate them all the same is delusional. Cheating is cheating and it's wrong. Plain and simple. 1 for all of them.

I agree there!

Can't Agree strongly enough !

Scorpiomom222

You know, Chuck, I just have to throw this out there with all this cheating stuff. I find it not very surprising if an attractive woman cheats on her spouse or long term boyfriend. Why? Because of a common stereotype of most attractive women being catered to, and doted over and alot of them being sociopaths that don't care about other people's feelings. There, I said it. I believe in society, it's expected that an attractive woman cheat on her spouse. Why not, right? She's hot. She can have any man she wants.

ChuckgM3

You know, Chuck, I just have to throw this out there with all this cheating stuff. I find it not very surprising if an attractive woman cheats on her spouse or long term boyfriend. Why? Because of a common stereotype of most attractive women being catered to, and doted over and alot of them being sociopaths that don't care about other people's feelings. There, I said it. I believe in society, it's expected that an attractive woman cheat on her spouse. Why not, right? She's hot. She can have any man she wants.

Haha, that is an interesting take, one might also point out that there are many more men out there who don't value the sanctity of marriage (or a relationship) as there are women so it's much easier for a woman to find a man to be her partner in crime than vice versa... Or if you wanna break that down to it's basest element... Men tend to think with their wieners..

mccorml

Single man knowingly having an affair with a married woman

Guy code.

eh i have to disagree i believe its more the girls fault this happened to me but i actually liked the girl and her BOYFRIEND not husband was a total douche bag never the less it ended up bad no one found out i just felt like an *kitten* cuz i actually liked her so this proves that there can be other sides to stories just sayin

Scorpiomom222

You know, Chuck, I just have to throw this out there with all this cheating stuff. I find it not very surprising if an attractive woman cheats on her spouse or long term boyfriend. Why? Because of a common stereotype of most attractive women being catered to, and doted over and alot of them being sociopaths that don't care about other people's feelings. There, I said it. I believe in society, it's expected that an attractive woman cheat on her spouse. Why not, right? She's hot. She can have any man she wants.

Haha, that is an interesting take, one might also point out that there are many more men out there who don't value the sanctity of marriage (or a relationship) as there are women so it's much easier for a woman to find a man to be her partner in crime than vice versa... Or if you wanna break that down to it's basest element... Men tend to think with their wieners..

You're one funny guy! Cheers!

iishnova

This has become an interesting thread o.O

1. I agree, cheating is cheating and cheating is wrong in my opinion (and others, apparent in this topic). I care not the circumstances, if you willingly ...:"engage" with another person (male or female) that's the end for me. Its one thing I don't believe in second chances for.

2. Stereotypes suck. Vain women are more likely to cheat if their husband starts balding and forms a spare tire and they believe they look better than any average 29 year-old, right? Men are more likely to cheat if their wife nags constantly and has let herself go, right?

Anyway! For those who commented, yes both my ex-husband and my former best friend are out of my life. Interestingly enough I am still on good terms with his family (even when he is not). I know that all the reasons he said he wanted a divorce (i.e. I spend his money, I didn't clean, etc) he is still having problems with and I am no where in the picture. He's living paycheck to paycheck and his place (last time I saw it and according to his sister) is a sty. To me it matters not, but hey when I'm feeling down its a great way to remind myself that I am so much better than he gave me credit for and I am better than he deserves ^.~

Caperfae

Definitely 1 to all situations listed.
I have a cousin who has cheated on her boyfriends, cheated on her husband, they parted ways and now she's back to cheating on boyfriends while technically still married.
Cheating is never good.

Wiitabax

if you willingly ...:"engage" with another person (male or female) that's the end for me. Its one thing I don't believe in second chances for.

I completely agree there!!!

I've known loads of people who have given 'second chances' - male and female... considering the cheating so-and-so took the time, effort and trouble to sneak around and lie in the first place, why risk it?

If you care enough for someone - you wouldn't do it.

If things aren't working... you should be big enough to discuss it - if it ends, then okay... move on - but don't do the 'try before you by' option - and then if that doesn't make you happy... or you get bored with sneaking, then you can go back to what's familiar and comfortable.

This is a PERSON... not a pair fo shoes or a sofa!

Rant over.