Too NICE? Someone PLEASE shoot me.

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Manda86
Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Explanation for why my bf was chatting up another girl on the side?

I'm too nice. Translation: Boring.

:brokenheart:

What the heck is wrong with guys? I thought they WANTED nice?

:sad:
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Replies

  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
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    Explanation for why my bf was chatting up another girl on the side?

    I'm too nice. Translation: Boring.

    :brokenheart:

    What the heck is wrong with guys? I thought they WANTED nice?

    :sad:
  • foxfire9372
    foxfire9372 Posts: 184 Member
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    More likely, your attention is focused more on yourself and your goals and he feels he is not getting enough of your personal attention and is getting it the only way the poor boy's brain knows how too.
    You've heard the saying "God gave men two heads and enough blood supply for one". Also, let your naughty side out a little bit.
  • AprilVal
    AprilVal Posts: 940 Member
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    Explanation for why my bf was chatting up another girl on the side?

    I'm too nice. Translation: Boring.

    :brokenheart:

    What the heck is wrong with guys? I thought they WANTED nice?

    :sad:

    Sorry to hear about that. Was this a long term relationship?

    I hope that he gets burned eventually..

    I hope you find someone genuine sometime in the near future. :drinker:
  • elliott062907
    elliott062907 Posts: 1,508 Member
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    been there, done that. I was married for 15 years. I got divorced. Too Nice? I guess I was for him. I just finally could not stand the drinking and gambling.

    but now, happy as ever with new hubby, that I have known since I was 14, now 36 1/2. And he loves me nice....

    so too nice??

    no way, real men love it.

    Look on sista!!!!

    Better fish in the sea,
  • LokiFae
    LokiFae Posts: 774 Member
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    Explanation for why my bf was chatting up another girl on the side?

    I'm too nice. Translation: Boring.

    :brokenheart:

    What the heck is wrong with guys? I thought they WANTED nice?

    :sad:

    What a jerk. There are plenty of guys out there that would definitely treat you better.

    A man that's actually looking for something real wants nice. You'll find him.

    But until then, wait until his girl on the side starts chatting up another guy, and then see how bad he wants nice. And don't give it to him.

    Sending good vibes your way and bad vibes his way. :flowerforyou:
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
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    thanks, everyone- I appreciate your kind words-

    I'm done trying to fix it, it hasn't worked for the last year, and I'm not going to change myself so that I fulfill some stupid fantasy he has about being with the bad girl.
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
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    I am going through a divorce (was cheated on) yeah I am too nice too..

    Hope you feel better it makes you feel like crud to find stuff like that out
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
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    I am going through a divorce (was cheated on) yeah I am too nice too..

    Hope you feel better it makes you feel like crud to find stuff like that out

    yeah, i feel about 2 inches tall right now
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
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    I did too that is after giving him another chance (how stupid am I) I had an awesome self esteem when we met and now............


    I felt like you do...2 inches.

    But NO one NOONE is worth making you feel inferrior, your a sweet person and I am sure one day a guy will respect that and even cherish you for these qualities, keep your head up dear.

    :flowerforyou:
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
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    thank you, I'm trying...

    I made that mistake, too, btw- I'm kicking myself for it now, it wasn't worth throwing away a year and a half of my life for
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
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    Atleast you didn't waste over 4 years like i did, but I did get my munchkin out of it which I am thankful for.
  • mkeithley
    mkeithley Posts: 399
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    I

    yeah, i feel about 2 inches tall right now
    WHY???? You feel 2 inches tall b/c HE is losing out on a nice girl????I don't get it?!?!?!
    This should empower you girl!!!! You were able to find out what a jerkoff he really is before you invested anymore of YOUR precious time or energy, or worse married him. He's the one who will feel 2 inches tall when he realized what he had and blew it. Don't be the girl who is like "Why me? Why did this happen to me? I gave him everything and he walked all over me, blah, blah, blah" Be the girl who moves on and says"Next!":flowerforyou:
    Seriously, you are too young and too attractive to waste your time on *kitten* who don't appreciate you for all you are.Guys who cozy up to girls on the side lack morals, respect and for lack of a better word, BALLS!!! What kind of assclown sneaks around like a thief in the night? I'm sure he told yout hey were just friends, (god I hope not, that's insulting to your intelligence). The reason guys like him continue to resort to this kind of behavior is b/c somewhere there was a female who took all the blame for his shennagins and fell for his line of crap along the lines of"You weren't there for me, I was lonely".WTF????
    I say good riddance. Now with him out of the picture you are allowing yourself to be open to meeting someone who truely is a match for YOU.:flowerforyou:
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
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    he's so cute, too..
    that's actually where some of our problem stemmed from-
    I found out that I'm going to have to undergo fertility treatments to have kids, and even then it'll be sketchy, and he hasn't treated me the same after that.
    Plus, he's not willing to do what he needs for me to be able to enjoy intimacy with him too- I have an ongoing medical issue that makes it exremely painful without medication, it doesn't help that he's always tossed me around like a ragdoll. sorry if that's TMI, I'm just venting.
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
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    I

    yeah, i feel about 2 inches tall right now
    WHY???? You feel 2 inches tall b/c HE is losing out on a nice girl????I don't get it?!?!?!
    This should empower you girl!!!! You were able to find out what a jerkoff he really is before you invested anymore of YOUR precious time or energy, or worse married him. He's the one who will feel 2 inches tall when he realized what he had and blew it. Don't be the girl who is like "Why me? Why did this happen to me? I gave him everything and he walked all over me, blah, blah, blah" Be the girl who moves on and says"Next!":flowerforyou:
    Seriously, you are too young and too attractive to waste your time on *kitten* who don't appreciate you for all you are.Guys who cozy up to girls on the side lack morals, respect and for lack of a better word, BALLS!!! What kind of assclown sneaks around like a thief in the night? I'm sure he told yout hey were just friends, (god I hope not, that's insulting to your intelligence). The reason guys like him continue to resort to this kind of behavior is b/c somewhere there was a female who took all the blame for his shennagins and fell for his line of crap along the lines of"You weren't there for me, I was lonely".WTF????
    I say good riddance. Now with him out of the picture you are allowing yourself to be open to meeting someone who truely is a match for YOU.:flowerforyou:

    that was the line of bullsh*t he tried to feed me, actually- there is a lot of truth in what you had to say. I'm more angry than upset about it, and I am relieved that I don't have to suffer the emotional abuse anymore.
  • mkeithley
    mkeithley Posts: 399
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    I think there must be some honadbook floating around out there"1001 Bull**** Lines to use with the Female Gender". I swear i have heard them all, either from exes or my g/f. I love it when they try to turn it around on the female."I must have got chlamydia from you, you must be a carrier" or "I got crabs from the toilet at work" or "I wouldn't have cheated on you if you would have had wild monkey sex with me from the rafters" You are young, you really have your whole life ahead of you. Don't ever settle for anything "less than". It took me until I was 34 to realize my wants and needs are just as important as his.
    Your relief of not having to deal with the emotional abuse is a sign(A HUGE BILLBOARD) letting you know that he was draining and sucking everything from you. No sense in getting angry, b/c when you do you are giving him power over your emotions. When you feel yourself getting angry, mkae yourself laugh about how pathetic he is, think of all the things that you put up with that others wouldn't and get a good chuckle out of the image of the new chick trying to wash the skidmarks out of his boxers:laugh: :laugh: Resist the urge to call, text or email him, if he does to you I wouldn't reply at all!!! If you do you are leaving him wiggle room to come back in and make a mess of things. You might tell yourself, oh he'll be different this time-newsflash they never are. Don't be a man hater either. Just take soem time to be a Manda lover:flowerforyou: Do things for you, by yourself or with friends and family. Wake up everyday and tell yourself you are moving in a more positive direction, even if you don't always feel like it "Fake it till you make it". I mean you are 21 for petes sakes!!! You shouldn't be tied down to ANYONE for awhile, enjoy your twenties the go by so flippin quick!!!!:drinker: :smokin: :bigsmile:
  • ChubbyBunny
    ChubbyBunny Posts: 3,523 Member
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    Okay I'm not known for being "nice" but dang girl....that is beyond low of him. I personally would do physical damage thing to him, but that's me and again I am not the nice one....

    My nice people....you need to stand up for yourself and I know it's hard. What if dealing with jerks like that are actually part of the problem? Letting them treat us so badly, it has to have an affect.

    I am glad you are washing your hands of him. He's a class A jerk and doesn't deserve someone like you. You don't want to second to any woman. Know what I mean?
  • uwhuskygirl
    uwhuskygirl Posts: 320
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    thank you, I'm trying...

    I made that mistake, too, btw- I'm kicking myself for it now, it wasn't worth throwing away a year and a half of my life for

    You're much smarter than me. I put up with it for 6 years before I finally dumped his sorry a**.

    You'll get through this! Sending good thoughts your way!

    :flowerforyou:
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
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    Okay I'm not known for being "nice" but dang girl....that is beyond low of him. I personally would do physical damage thing to him, but that's me and again I am not the nice one....

    My nice people....you need to stand up for yourself and I know it's hard. What if dealing with jerks like that are actually part of the problem? Letting them treat us so badly, it has to have an affect.

    I am glad you are washing your hands of him. He's a class A jerk and doesn't deserve someone like you. You don't want to second to any woman. Know what I mean?

    yes, I know exactly what you mean- thank you so much, ladies, you are all so strong, and I feel stronger from talking with you. I'm not wasting my time any longer- I'm going to keep at this weight loss thing for me, and never again will I let someone have that kind of control over me.
  • Gorgeous
    Gorgeous Posts: 248
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    ugh heartace is the worst!
    you sit and think what you could have said or done differntly replaying every moment in yor head!
    it sucks!
    glad you got rid of him sooner rather than later!
    hang in there!
    at least you knew when to let you....that was my problem
    i didnt let go...for a long time....and i ended up hurting myself more than i had to!!!
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
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    yeah, me too. :ohwell: I'm chalking it up to life experience, and hoping that the man meant for me will waltz into my life when I'm ready for him

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