Too NICE? Someone PLEASE shoot me.

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2

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  • Gorgeous
    Gorgeous Posts: 248
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    lol i dont wanna post my life story but i sent you a little message!
  • spaul82478
    spaul82478 Posts: 709 Member
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    he's so cute, too..
    that's actually where some of our problem stemmed from-
    I found out that I'm going to have to undergo fertility treatments to have kids, and even then it'll be sketchy, and he hasn't treated me the same after that.
    Plus, he's not willing to do what he needs for me to be able to enjoy intimacy with him too- I have an ongoing medical issue that makes it exremely painful without medication, it doesn't help that he's always tossed me around like a ragdoll. sorry if that's TMI, I'm just venting.
    SCREW HIM... I Just got out of an ugly divorce.... and my best advice to you... DONT LOOK it will happen.. .I am the nice one who gets screwed all the time and along came mr right after 5 years of being beat and meantly abused.. BE SINGLE HAVE FUN.. and when your hot and he's with some tramp he'll regret it... :drinker:
  • Helawat
    Helawat Posts: 605 Member
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    Just an easy cop-out to leave a relationship. You're better without him :flowerforyou:
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
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    Yeah, too nice, funny how that works both ways.

    Same happened to me (to those of you that have gone through, and are going through separation and divorces, my heart goes out to you. No one knows how much it sucks until they go through it), I finally agreed to marry her after 5 years of her begging almost every day, 'when are we getting married?' 'I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.', 'I love you so much, I can't wait until we have children together!'. 3 months after we were married I caught her with another guy. 2 years later we were separated (I found out tonight that she is pregnant. We finalize out divorce next month...yeah, I feel like crap....)

    I guess the point is, there are crappy people everywhere. Male, female, transgender, etc.

    Manda, you are better than him, plain and simple. Don't empower him to validate your existence. After just the little we have talked, I can tell you are just as beautiful inside as out. Move on, and prove to him (and more importantly yourself) that you don't need a 'cute guy' to live a happy life. When the time is right God will place someone in your life that won't care at all about fertility drugs, or medical issues. All he'll care about is how happy you make him, and how all he wants to do is make you just as happy. It will happen, but it can't until you kick Sir Cheats-A-Lot to the curb.

    That's my thoughts. Now if I could take my own advice I would be good to go. :ohwell:

    Much love,

    -J
  • Helawat
    Helawat Posts: 605 Member
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    You're so wise, Sgt.! Great advice! :heart:
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
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    Update: I slept on the couch last night (we live together), because I'm not going to share a bed with him anymore- he comes out this morning and has the nerve to ask me why I didn't come to bed last night- did he completely miss the part where he cheated on me and I dumped him?

    *You have entered the twilight zone*
  • mkeithley
    mkeithley Posts: 399
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    "Why are you mad? I told you we were just friends." BLAH,BLAH, BLAH!!!! If I were you I'd have the conversation about living arrangements sooner than later, BUH BYE!!! Make sure you do something nicce for yourself today, even if it's going to Wal-green's and buying some Wet and Wild glitter lip gloss:flowerforyou:
  • rethun01
    rethun01 Posts: 167
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    Manda, I'm soooo sorry. But I'm proud of you for sleeping on the couch last night :smile:

    I was the one that was "too nice" as well. I changed my whole life and who I was just to accomodate his needs. I absolutely babied him all through college. We lived together and I cooked and cleaned for him constantly. He and I took all of our classes together so that he could just cheat off of my homework. I wrote all of his papers for him. He had to take his own tests, of course, but it was my job to study with him and cram it all into his brain. In our accounting class we actually convinced our professor that we didn't have enough money to buy two graphing calculators, and that we had to share. Then I would do all the test problems and pass him the calculator with all the work saved on it so he could cheat. My friends and family didn't know who I was any more. Worse yet, he was a total momma's boy and he criticized everything I did for him, comparing it to his mom.

    As we were graduating, he was diagnosed with cancer. I had just gotten laid off from my government job and was having a hard time finding something full time in my field. So I didn't have any money to stay with him at school (over 15 hours away from where my parents lived). He moved back in with his parents. I asked his parents if I could move into their guest room and help take care of him, and pay them some rent, until I could find a job and move out. They said no... after I had been dating their son for over 3 years! Because I had to move back home with my parents, he held that against me. "How could you just leave me when I had cancer?!?!?" 6 months later he broke up with me and started dating his Chemo Nurse's daughter. No joke.

    It wasn't until I was living on my own and figured out who I was again that I met the man of my dreams. Believe me, my husband knows not to push me too far. I'm still nice, but you better not take advantage of me!
  • fatsis
    fatsis Posts: 1,117 Member
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    Dear Manda and Sarge,

    My MFP freinds I wish I could fix it for you guys but I don't have the answers.

    Manda I will be praying for you that God helps you through this and that he sends that
    right guy your way. I will also pray that he heals you with the infertlity. You have touched
    my heart when you said infertility it consumed my life for 13 years and I don't want anyone
    else to go through it. A big Bear hug your way.

    Sarge, I will also be praying for you that God heals the wounds from your divorce and sends the women you need to you. A big plutonic Bear hug. Were butch right.
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
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    Manda, I'm soooo sorry. But I'm proud of you for sleeping on the couch last night :smile:

    I was the one that was "too nice" as well. I changed my whole life and who I was just to accomodate his needs. I absolutely babied him all through college. We lived together and I cooked and cleaned for him constantly. He and I took all of our classes together so that he could just cheat off of my homework. I wrote all of his papers for him. He had to take his own tests, of course, but it was my job to study with him and cram it all into his brain. In our accounting class we actually convinced our professor that we didn't have enough money to buy two graphing calculators, and that we had to share. Then I would do all the test problems and pass him the calculator with all the work saved on it so he could cheat. My friends and family didn't know who I was any more. Worse yet, he was a total momma's boy and he criticized everything I did for him, comparing it to his mom.

    As we were graduating, he was diagnosed with cancer. I had just gotten laid off from my government job and was having a hard time finding something full time in my field. So I didn't have any money to stay with him at school (over 15 hours away from where my parents lived). He moved back in with his parents. I asked his parents if I could move into their guest room and help take care of him, and pay them some rent, until I could find a job and move out. They said no... after I had been dating their son for over 3 years! Because I had to move back home with my parents, he held that against me. "How could you just leave me when I had cancer?!?!?" 6 months later he broke up with me and started dating his Chemo Nurse's daughter. No joke.

    It wasn't until I was living on my own and figured out who I was again that I met the man of my dreams. Believe me, my husband knows not to push me too far. I'm still nice, but you better not take advantage of me!

    I'm really glad you found your soulmate, I wish you both much happiness :) Thank you so much
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
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    Dear Manda and Sarge,

    My MFP freinds I wish I could fix it for you guys but I don't have the answers.

    Manda I will be praying for you that God helps you through this and that he sends that
    right guy your way. I will also pray that he heals you with the infertlity. You have touched
    my heart when you said infertility it consumed my life for 13 years and I don't want anyone
    else to go through it. A big Bear hug your way.

    Sarge, I will also be praying for you that God heals the wounds from your divorce and sends the women you need to you. A big plutonic Bear hug. Were butch right.

    yeah, infertility has been one of the most painful things I have ever gone through. I didn't know I wanted children until I found out I can't have them on my own... I guess God just has a different plan for us, but I would sure like to know what it is! It makes you feel like an incomplete person, I know I shouldn't, but I feel guilty that I may not be able to provide my future husband (whoever that may be) with children of his own- thanks for the hug! I need all of them I can get lately

    *PANDA BEAR HUG*
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
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    Awww my MFP friends!! Manda and Sarge.....prayers headed your way to get you both past the difficult times and to feel hope for the future.

    Big hug!
    Tam
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
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    Awww my MFP friends!! Manda and Sarge.....prayers headed your way to get you both past the difficult times and to feel hope for the future.

    Big hug!
    Tam

    thanks, Tam... *sniff sniff*
  • lilmandy89
    lilmandy89 Posts: 323 Member
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    thank you, I'm trying...

    I made that mistake, too, btw- I'm kicking myself for it now, it wasn't worth throwing away a year and a half of my life for

    Instead of kicking yourself for it take it as a life experience, you walked away with more knowledge, you now know what to stay away from in guys. He should be the one kicking himself
  • LokiFae
    LokiFae Posts: 774 Member
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    yeah, infertility has been one of the most painful things I have ever gone through. I didn't know I wanted children until I found out I can't have them on my own... I guess God just has a different plan for us, but I would sure like to know what it is! It makes you feel like an incomplete person, I know I shouldn't, but I feel guilty that I may not be able to provide my future husband (whoever that may be) with children of his own- thanks for the hug! I need all of them I can get lately

    *PANDA BEAR HUG*

    I really feel for you that you're going through that. This is how I've always felt about children, infertility, etc.

    The kids we have, whether we give birth to them or not, have picked us out before they were born. And people that can't have kids of their own were already picked out by the perfect child. God has a plan for everyone, and maybe he just has the perfect little kid for you to adopt or step-parent, or anything like that. Giving birth doesn't make a mother. It's the raising of the child, and if you love and cherish and nurture a child, that makes that child yours. I think there's kids out there in the future for you, and there's definitely the right man. And he is NOT the guy that made you sleep on the couch.

    :heart: :heart: :heart:
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
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    You guys rock. :cry:
  • fatsis
    fatsis Posts: 1,117 Member
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    You guys rock. :cry:

    So do u brother.:happy:
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
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    You guys rock. :cry:

    I agree- MFPers, I shall never leave you..

    (even if you ask politely)
  • kaiyacali
    kaiyacali Posts: 175
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    You slept on the couch! WTF! His butt should be freezing on the couch, not yours! His stupid jerkness was the one cheatin'.
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
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    You slept on the couch! WTF! His butt should be freezing on the couch, not yours! His stupid jerkness was the one cheatin'.

    I'm kind of a pushover- I don't care where I sleep as long as it's not next to him

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