think im giving up on the gut flab

MelodyandBarbells

You'll want to stay as close as possible to your calorie level. How far under are you typically? It also depends on what type of calories you are consuming. If you're counting calories but they're all bad calories you aren't going to see very many results. Maybe see if you can find a healthy meal plan to follow. That combined with your workouts should really help.

Please explain to me the difference between a good calorie and a bad calorie and how our body can tell.

A good calorie would be something along the lines of veggies, lean protein such as chicken, white fish, eggs, greek yogurt, healthy fats like avocados, almonds and whole grain breads and pastas. 400 calories of vegetables is going to go a lot further than 400 calories of grease and oil such as chips and fried foods and fast foods.

LOL.

400 calories is 400 calories when it comes to losing weight.

Not true at all. I work out on a regular basis. For a month I ate 1400-1600 calories a day of whatever I wanted. Fast food, chips, greasy, oil covered foods and stayed at my current weight. I didn't gain weight. I was building the muscle that I wanted but I wasn't seeing any change in my weight or even inches. So I followed a friends advice and I ate clean foods. Chicken, veggies, whole wheats, fruits...I was following the same amount of calories, averaging between 1400-1600 calories a day...in the first 2 weeks I had lost 5 pounds. I'm continuing with the HEALTHY eating and i'm down 15 pounds. I do have my cheat days every now and then that stop my weight loss for a couple days but as long as i'm staying consistent with the healthy eating I continue to lose.

Coincidentally we tend to ask about to continue in their efforts for six to eight weeks before declaring plateau on the scale...