Don't be this person at the gym.
I go to the gym fairly late at night, and there is usually one employee managing the desk. The same guy usually. He is pretty quiet and well reserved. Doesn't seem like he wants to talk really. I usually say a quick hello, sign in and go about my business.
I arrive last night there is this man talking to him at the desk. I think nothing of it, sign in, and do what I have to do. I walk by the desk in the middle of my session (about an hour) and still see the same guy just talking to the clerk. You could tell it was one of those conversations where one person does the talking and the other just sits there, nods their head and just agrees. But whatever.
I'm finished for the night. It's been two hours. I'm leaving and of course the same man is still leaning over the counter talking to the employee. He is probably still taking to him now. And from what little I heard it just seemed like small talk, except this was more like big talk. Just felt bad for the clerk. Not like he can protest. He just has to stand there and take it. Said bye and went to my car.
Really though, what middle aged man has two hours on a Monday heading into Tuesday morning to just straight up chit-chat at the gym before/post workout? Just seems weird to me.
I arrive last night there is this man talking to him at the desk. I think nothing of it, sign in, and do what I have to do. I walk by the desk in the middle of my session (about an hour) and still see the same guy just talking to the clerk. You could tell it was one of those conversations where one person does the talking and the other just sits there, nods their head and just agrees. But whatever.
I'm finished for the night. It's been two hours. I'm leaving and of course the same man is still leaning over the counter talking to the employee. He is probably still taking to him now. And from what little I heard it just seemed like small talk, except this was more like big talk. Just felt bad for the clerk. Not like he can protest. He just has to stand there and take it. Said bye and went to my car.
Really though, what middle aged man has two hours on a Monday heading into Tuesday morning to just straight up chit-chat at the gym before/post workout? Just seems weird to me.
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Replies
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Maybe he's very lonely, on the spectrum or just straight up had a crap day.
Was it affecting you in any way? Don't be so quick to judge.0 -
Since when are people responsible to help resolve for other people's loneliness?
Everyone has problems. Doesn't mean you're automatically granted an audience because you feel like ****.0 -
Maybe the guy who works there has been depressed lately and has been going through a hard time, so his mate was hanging out with him for a shift to try and keep him company?0
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Maybe the guy who works there has been depressed lately and has been going through a hard time, so his mate was hanging out with him for a shift to try and keep him company?
They didn't seem like buddies. Their age gap was quite significant. And they don't look like they'd be spotted kickin it on the streets. It would be like Bill Clinton hanging out with Kanye West. I see the same clerk most nights. The other guy, I don't think I've ever seen him there ever.
It's nice to take the glass half-full approach. But if you were there, and had been going there for as long as I have, I think you'd have a better idea of what I was talking about. This may be difficult for you to accept, but some people are just windbags. Not trying to be mean, just stating the facts.0 -
Since when are people responsible to help resolve for other people's loneliness?
Everyone has problems. Doesn't mean you're automatically granted an audience because you feel like ****.
You're right. As the famous quote says. "Every man is an island." Or, something like that.0 -
I feel for both of them.
It's horrid to be stuck in a circumstance listening to a strangers woes and you can't do anything to get away.
Its horrid to be so lonely or just inconsiderate to ear bash a stranger who is a captive audience.
At the end of the day its all conjecture though who knows what actully went on between the 2.0 -
Maybe he's very lonely, on the spectrum or just straight up had a crap day.
Was it affecting you in any way? Don't be so quick to judge.
Was his judgement affecting you in any way? Don't be so quick to judge him judging.
Judgeception.0 -
Who knows what the issue is. Maybe the guy can't work out anymore due to a medical issue but he wanted to go to the gym to keep in his habit ... how can you know if they are acquainted or not? Were you eavesdropping on the entire conversation?
I DO dislike when people try to chat you up when you're working out. I saw a guy like that once, trying to get some idle chit chat going with the lady on the treadmill next to him - she kept grunting non-committal answers and he kept trying to engage her about the weather, the shows on the TV screens, etc. I could tell he just wanted to be friendly but that is not the time or the place, esp. if your intended companion is only grunting at you in response. LOL
When I'm at the gym I don't want to talk to ANYONE about ANYTHING but that's me...0 -
Who knows what the issue is. Maybe the guy can't work out anymore due to a medical issue but he wanted to go to the gym to keep in his habit ... how can you know if they are acquainted or not? Were you eavesdropping on the entire conversation?
I DO dislike when people try to chat you up when you're working out. I saw a guy like that once, trying to get some idle chit chat going with the lady on the treadmill next to him - she kept grunting non-committal answers and he kept trying to engage her about the weather, the shows on the TV screens, etc. I could tell he just wanted to be friendly but that is not the time or the place, esp. if your intended companion is only grunting at you in response. LOL
When I'm at the gym I don't want to talk to ANYONE about ANYTHING but that's me...
I'm acquainted with a lot of people. Doesn't mean I want them talking to me about their life story for 2 hours straight while I'm at work. I said they didn't seem like buddies. Not that they were complete strangers. Can't know 100% for sure (which you can say about a lot of things on this planet), but judging from the body language and the fact that one was constantly talking and the other one simply listening/barely saying anything...well I just wouldn't put the BFF label on them just yet.0 -
wow that sounds like my nightmare, but then i wouldve just told him "sorry, ive got some work to do". i do think its rude to be ignorant to other peoples signals and just assume theyd love to listen to you for hours. if they dont want to talk, just shut up already! people often think they are doing me a favour by keeping me company when all i really want is to be left alone - especially at work. :P0
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Maybe the guy who works there has been depressed lately and has been going through a hard time, so his mate was hanging out with him for a shift to try and keep him company?
They didn't seem like buddies. Their age gap was quite significant. And they don't look like they'd be spotted kickin it on the streets. It would be like Bill Clinton hanging out with Kanye West. I see the same clerk most nights. The other guy, I don't think I've ever seen him there ever.
It's nice to take the glass half-full approach. But if you were there, and had been going there for as long as I have, I think you'd have a better idea of what I was talking about. This may be difficult for you to accept, but some people are just windbags. Not trying to be mean, just stating the facts.
Yea. And then some people like to come and complain to the internet about it.
Get over it, you never know the full story. Also, given that the clerk is a grown up and able to tie his shoes in a morning and get himself off to work, he's probably more than capable of distracting and detering anyone making him uncomfortable.0 -
Maybe he's very lonely, on the spectrum or just straight up had a crap day.
Was it affecting you in any way? Don't be so quick to judge.
Was his judgement affecting you in any way? Don't be so quick to judge him judging.
Judgeception.
Judging the judgers?!?
Judgey McJudgerton!0 -
i walk into my gym with my headphones in. i say hi to 2 or possibly 3 people when i get there in the evening. once i start i mind my own business. the only contact i have with people is the gesturing of hey you using this? and its either a nod or a shake of the head. when i leave i tell the employee at the front desk to have a nice night and i will see them later.
in the morning its a different story. christ all mighty the people that want to talk to you at 5:30am because they are retired and they talk to each other. it's like they want to initiate you into their club. do 1 set of exercise and BS for 25 minutes. do another set BS for another 25. sometimes if they try talking to me and i make eye contact i just shake my head and point to the headphones.
thankfully my cardio at that time is only 30 minutes and i treat it like vietnam. get in and get the hell out as soon as possible0 -
I don't know... I would just be glad that the person wasn't stalking me and talking to me preventing me from getting done the workout I needed to do. I am guessing if the clerk/employee had a problem with him he would have said something. When I go to the gym or for a run or even out to eat I tend to worry less about everyone else and more about what I am doing.
But...
That's just me.
Mark
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Right, because I'm sure you've waltzed through life never complaining about anything ever unless you know the 100% truth about any specific situation in it's complete and unequivocal context. What is your secret really?Maybe the guy who works there has been depressed lately and has been going through a hard time, so his mate was hanging out with him for a shift to try and keep him company?
They didn't seem like buddies. Their age gap was quite significant. And they don't look like they'd be spotted kickin it on the streets. It would be like Bill Clinton hanging out with Kanye West. I see the same clerk most nights. The other guy, I don't think I've ever seen him there ever.
It's nice to take the glass half-full approach. But if you were there, and had been going there for as long as I have, I think you'd have a better idea of what I was talking about. This may be difficult for you to accept, but some people are just windbags. Not trying to be mean, just stating the facts.
Yea. And then some people like to come and complain to the internet about it.
Get over it, you never know the full story. Also, given that the clerk is a grown up and able to tie his shoes in a morning and get himself off to work, he's probably more than capable of distracting and detering anyone making him uncomfortable.
Hey. If you didn't like what I had to say, well you know where the door is. No one forced you to respond (yet you cared enough to anyway). It's an internet forum in a subsection with the words "chit-chat" in it.. Deal with it. Or get out. The choice is yours. But I'm sure you'll utilize common sense and make the right one.0 -
You're assuming an awful lot. :noway:0
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I've never worked out in the morning, but that sounds like a nightmare. Which is why I love going at night. Place is nearly empty, don't have to wait to use the equipment, and you can just do your thing and get the hell out of dodge.i walk into my gym with my headphones in. i say hi to 2 or possibly 3 people when i get there in the evening. once i start i mind my own business. the only contact i have with people is the gesturing of hey you using this? and its either a nod or a shake of the head. when i leave i tell the employee at the front desk to have a nice night and i will see them later.
in the morning its a different story. christ all mighty the people that want to talk to you at 5:30am because they are retired and they talk to each other. it's like they want to initiate you into their club. do 1 set of exercise and BS for 25 minutes. do another set BS for another 25. sometimes if they try talking to me and i make eye contact i just shake my head and point to the headphones.
thankfully my cardio at that time is only 30 minutes and i treat it like vietnam. get in and get the hell out as soon as possible0 -
Maybe the guy who works there has been depressed lately and has been going through a hard time, so his mate was hanging out with him for a shift to try and keep him company?
They didn't seem like buddies. Their age gap was quite significant. And they don't look like they'd be spotted kickin it on the streets. It would be like Bill Clinton hanging out with Kanye West. I see the same clerk most nights. The other guy, I don't think I've ever seen him there ever.
It's nice to take the glass half-full approach. But if you were there, and had been going there for as long as I have, I think you'd have a better idea of what I was talking about. This may be difficult for you to accept, but some people are just windbags. Not trying to be mean, just stating the facts.
Why does it matter, and how is it any of your business? I might be missing something here, but I've worked years in customer service based positions and if the gentleman behind the counter wanted to end the conversation there are multiple ways to do it. All of them leaving the other person feeling satisfied with the conversation and like it was their idea to end it. I guess I don't understand why someone in their 20's is super concerned about the clerk at their gym, or convincing a random group of strangers that a middle aged man was a windbag and in some way being a jerk. I could see if the man had tried to strike up a conversation with YOU..DURING your workout and wouldn't give up, but the situation not only doesn't include you, but has nothing to do with you. Also, you are assuming an awful lot. Could be he is related to the clerk and there is something going on in the clerk's homelife. You just never know why one person chooses to talk to another for that kind of time.0 -
Sorry inspector. I'm trying my best. :laugh:You're assuming an awful lot. :noway:0 -
You must be of that "offended crowd"
Offended because two grown adults have a 2 hour conversation that appears one sided.
Offended because someone here suggests that maybe it isn't what you perceive.
Not sure what you are asking but maybe you should just sit back and listen to what others are saying, or simply get over it.
I don't think anyone here cares except you.
Sorry if that offends you.0 -
You must be of that "offended crowd"
Offended because two grown adults have a 2 hour conversation that appears one sided.
Offended because someone here suggests that maybe it isn't what you perceive.
Not sure what you are asking but maybe you should just sit back and listen to what others are saying, or simply get over it.
I don't think anyone here cares except you.
Sorry if that offends you.
QFT!0 -
Sorry inspector. I'm trying my best. :laugh:You're assuming an awful lot. :noway:
:huh:0 -
You must be of that "offended crowd"
Offended because two grown adults have a 2 hour conversation that appears one sided.
Offended because someone here suggests that maybe it isn't what you perceive.
Not sure what you are asking but maybe you should just sit back and listen to what others are saying, or simply get over it.
I don't think anyone here cares except you.
Sorry if that offends you.
Offends me? I think you're assuming an awful lot.
If I was the only that cared then why did you respond? :happy:0 -
Since when are people responsible to help resolve for other people's loneliness?
Everyone has problems. Doesn't mean you're automatically granted an audience because you feel like ****.
I sit at a pet store weekly to do cat adoptions for a rescue group.
We have groupies that are the same faces week after week. They're not there to adopt a cat or to buy supplies for their pets, if they currently have any.0 -
You must be of that "offended crowd"
Offended because two grown adults have a 2 hour conversation that appears one sided.
Offended because someone here suggests that maybe it isn't what you perceive.
Not sure what you are asking but maybe you should just sit back and listen to what others are saying, or simply get over it.
I don't think anyone here cares except you.
Sorry if that offends you.
Offends me? I think you're assuming an awful lot.
If I was the only that cared then why did you respond? :happy:
Probably because your thread title is "Don't be this person at the gym" So we all thought it would actually be about someone interfering with your workout. Instead it is you being concerned with a stranger's conversations. Plus it's a public forum, and most of us are killing some time. So our posts aren't about caring about your situation, ours are about telling you we don't understand why you care about two random strangers interactions.0 -
Maybe the guy who works there has been depressed lately and has been going through a hard time, so his mate was hanging out with him for a shift to try and keep him company?
They didn't seem like buddies. Their age gap was quite significant. And they don't look like they'd be spotted kickin it on the streets. It would be like Bill Clinton hanging out with Kanye West. I see the same clerk most nights. The other guy, I don't think I've ever seen him there ever.
It's nice to take the glass half-full approach. But if you were there, and had been going there for as long as I have, I think you'd have a better idea of what I was talking about. This may be difficult for you to accept, but some people are just windbags. Not trying to be mean, just stating the facts.
Why does it matter, and how is it any of your business? I might be missing something here, but I've worked years in customer service based positions and if the gentleman behind the counter wanted to end the conversation there are multiple ways to do it. All of them leaving the other person feeling satisfied with the conversation and like it was their idea to end it. I guess I don't understand why someone in their 20's is super concerned about the clerk at their gym, or convincing a random group of strangers that a middle aged man was a windbag and in some way being a jerk. I could see if the man had tried to strike up a conversation with YOU..DURING your workout and wouldn't give up, but the situation not only doesn't include you, but has nothing to do with you. Also, you are assuming an awful lot. Could be he is related to the clerk and there is something going on in the clerk's homelife. You just never know why one person chooses to talk to another for that kind of time.
Folks are entitled to infer from my statement what they will. I'm not convincing you or anyone else of anything. Simply stating what I observed. Never did I once say that what I saw was 100% what it appeared to be. The main point I was making was in the thread title. Don't be that person at the gym. Regardless if what I witnessed was happened as it seemed. Perhaps I should have clarified that for you. My mistake.0 -
I used to think that these people were pretty irritating, but then when I started my current job, one of the trainers offered some pretty solid advice. I work at a college with a fair bit of students, and because we're out in the open (I work Security), students will want to come and talk to us about anything really. They generally don't ask for personal or confidential information, and are really just there to talk.
The guy I talked with said that Security might be the only people they talk to all day. They may be a very long way from home with no friends, no family and no one to talk to, even if it's just to know that you're talking and someone is listening. Who's to say why the guy stopped and talked to the clerk for so long? But there are a lot of possibilities. I also think that if the clerk was truly interested in ending the conversation, he could have made up some work to do.0 -
Since when are people responsible to help resolve for other people's loneliness?
Everyone has problems. Doesn't mean you're automatically granted an audience because you feel like ****.
I sit at a pet store weekly to do cat adoptions for a rescue group.
We have groupies that are the same faces week after week. They're not there to adopt a cat or to buy supplies for their pets, if they currently have any.
Yes, this would be annoying, and it personally affects you. That would suck!0 -
we don't understand why you care about two random strangers interactions.
you act as if caring was something bad. maybe he just has a little more empathy and thinks about the people he shares his space with.0 -
Maybe the guy who works there has been depressed lately and has been going through a hard time, so his mate was hanging out with him for a shift to try and keep him company?
They didn't seem like buddies. Their age gap was quite significant. And they don't look like they'd be spotted kickin it on the streets. It would be like Bill Clinton hanging out with Kanye West. I see the same clerk most nights. The other guy, I don't think I've ever seen him there ever.
It's nice to take the glass half-full approach. But if you were there, and had been going there for as long as I have, I think you'd have a better idea of what I was talking about. This may be difficult for you to accept, but some people are just windbags. Not trying to be mean, just stating the facts.
Why does it matter, and how is it any of your business? I might be missing something here, but I've worked years in customer service based positions and if the gentleman behind the counter wanted to end the conversation there are multiple ways to do it. All of them leaving the other person feeling satisfied with the conversation and like it was their idea to end it. I guess I don't understand why someone in their 20's is super concerned about the clerk at their gym, or convincing a random group of strangers that a middle aged man was a windbag and in some way being a jerk. I could see if the man had tried to strike up a conversation with YOU..DURING your workout and wouldn't give up, but the situation not only doesn't include you, but has nothing to do with you. Also, you are assuming an awful lot. Could be he is related to the clerk and there is something going on in the clerk's homelife. You just never know why one person chooses to talk to another for that kind of time.
Folks are entitled to infer from my statement what they will. I'm not convincing you or anyone else of anything. Simply stating what I observed. Never did I once say that what I saw was 100% what it appeared to be. The main point I was making was in the thread title. Don't be that person at the gym. Regardless if what I witnessed was happened as it seemed. Perhaps I should have clarified that for you. My mistake.
Right, but from the thread title it is infered that this person holding the conversation is somehow obnoxious for doing so, and if you don't have 100% of the story, then who are you to judge. That is all anyone is pointing out, you seem oblivious to that though.0
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