Tell people for support or keep it to myself?

nfa92

Hi, i signed up a long time ago but just starting to get serious now about loosing weight. Im 21 i weigh about 19 stone and i wan't to loose weight and be fit and healthy. I don't know whether to tell people or not? I am comfortable with my body and accept that i'm overweight but if i tell people i am afraid they will laugh at me, or say stuff rather than support me? If i keep it to myself and just get on with it and then people start realizing i'm losing weight and then admit 'yes i am trying to lose weight'. Maybe i am afraid to tell people incase i fail. Suggestions?
Also what keeps you guys motivated and stops you from snacking? I don't eat unhealthy breakfasts/dinners but i snack all the time, how do you guys refrain?

Hope to get some replies Thanks for reading! xo

hilaria81

I have mixed feelings about this. I've told people when I'd already hit certain milestones, but sometimes I wish I hadn't said anything because it would be fun to let actual results do the talking and catch people by surprise one day - plus I sometimes question whether people are complimenting me just to be nice and not because they actually do see a difference. Therefore, I'm thinking about not saying anything else until after I've lost a LOT more. Support from others is great, though - it can motivate you and make you feel more accountable. It's all a matter of what is more important to you.

As for snacking, I personally tend to snack more when I'm bored, so keeping busy helps! I also sometimes go on the treadmill or just go to bed early if I'm hungry and out of calories for the day.

nfa92

Thank you for the reply!
This is my issue as well! People know me as a larger person and I am confident and out going so will they judge me for wanting to change?! And i also get aggravated when people say "don't eat this/that! you're having more?" It's my own business and i feel with a diet they would be more intrusive..

I am going to take all the snacks out the house and just have fruit and cereal bars! Hopefully this works

VelveteenArabian

Unless you want it as a topic of conversation, why would you announce it to people? Do you REALLY want people offering their "advice" and "help" and input?

nfa92

Yeah you're right, i think i would rather get on with it than have people talking about it constantly. Especially if i fluctuate up and down with my weight and they are constantly commenting. Probably keep it to myself for now until i feel sure! Thanks for the comment VelveteenArab.

kwatson28

Tell the ones you trust most. Otherwise, show them you're bettering yourself. Don't let anyone get you down. Not even yourself!

As for the snacking, try going for healthier options. Like a banana and some honey. Apples and peanut butter. Those will keep you full longer after meals so you're less inclined to snack. Almonds are delicious. Frozen grapes. And do not ever be afraid to treat yourself! Don't deny yourself a nice treat now and again. Just make sure you keep track you can do this!

nfa92

Thankyou for the very helpful & supportive comment!
I have to start somewhere and snacking is number 1! I will definitely try everything you suggested and i really appreciate the positive reinforcements! I'm feeling right now fruits are my way forward! Pineapples strawberries and apple's I have bought so let's hope these will keep me from snacking! Also trying to make it through the 8 glasses of water! I'm sure i can do it i just have to be persistant!

Thanks again kwatson x

AllOutof_Bubblegum

Don't keep it an absolute secret, but don't advertise it. There are always people out there who love to see others fail, and as soon as they hear that you're losing weight they may try every trick they know of to trip you up.

Besides, won't it feel better to say six months from now "why yes, I have been losing weight, thank you for noticing!" rather than telling them beforehand?

nfa92

Thanks for the reply!
Yeah that's what i was thinking, just losing weight and being casual about it like "oh i guess i have slimmed down"
Just not sure to tell anyone to have support, but i think MFP might help alot

Mangopickle

Hi, i signed up a long time ago but just starting to get serious now about loosing weight. Im 21 i weigh about 19 stone and i wan't to loose weight and be fit and healthy. I don't know whether to tell people or not? I am comfortable with my body and accept that i'm overweight but if i tell people i am afraid they will laugh at me, or say stuff rather than support me? If i keep it to myself and just get on with it and then people start realizing i'm losing weight and then admit 'yes i am trying to lose weight'. Maybe i am afraid to tell people incase i fail. Suggestions?
Also what keeps you guys motivated and stops you from snacking? I don't eat unhealthy breakfasts/dinners but i snack all the time, how do you guys refrain?

Hope to get some replies Thanks for reading! xo

You are probably medicating with food. You aren't hungry you just want a pleasure boost because you are bored,stressed,tired,annoyed, depressed,sad,angry etc. Work on learning to just be. Be bored,pissed,tired,angry,sad, etc. Don't eat to avoid feeling. The feeling will pass, you will feel better because you dealt with the emotion instead of distracting yourself with pleasure and you moved on. Eating your self into poor health isn't coping. Coping is being bored, angry, sad, etc and choosing to move forward with healthy choices. Plan your snacks, stick to them. When you stop medicating with food you won't even think about a snack unless you are physically hungry. I cannot even describe how liberating it is not to think/obsess about food all day long. Good luck

kwatson28

Thankyou for the very helpful & supportive comment!
I have to start somewhere and snacking is number 1! I will definitely try everything you suggested and i really appreciate the positive reinforcements! I'm feeling right now fruits are my way forward! Pineapples strawberries and apple's I have bought so let's hope these will keep me from snacking! Also trying to make it through the 8 glasses of water! I'm sure i can do it i just have to be persistant!

Thanks again kwatson x

Of course! One of my favorite snacks is a banana with some honey drizzled on top and some cinnamon! Very filling and satisfies that sweet tooth! Its okay to snack, just make better choices. If you like, try freezing your strawberries and put them in some lemon water. So you're staying refreshingly hydrated and a nice snack to boot! Trust me, I love sweets!

AskTracyAnnK28

I'm glad I saw this thread! I joined MFP a while ago and just started using again this week. I'd like to lose about 20 pounds by Christmas. Like the OP, I'm comfortable with body body and love my curves, but lately I've been a bit tooooo comfortable hahahaha

Anyway - I decided to do this weight loss adventure on the 'down low' in order to avoid the dreaded Diet Police. I figured if someone notices my weight loss I'll politely say "thank you".

As far as the snacking goes, try get grab healthier, easy to grab snacks to keep handy in order to satisfy your cravings. I'm a big fan of the Polly O string cheese, individual apple sauces and I love fruit. Remember - if you don't buy the cookies, you won't be able to snack on the cookies

Good luck to you!

Veil5577

Every time in the past that I've told people what I'm doing, I have failed. This time I am keeping my mouth shut.

SpiritScienceSelf

The only way I'm telling people is through my blog. Other than that, the only person I've discussed it with is my husband. I don't know, there's just something that irks me when I tell, say, my mother, and every time I see her it's "How's the diet going? Have you lost any weight? I can't tell yet." This time I'm going to go about it like it's a normal part of my existence.

So_Much_Fab

Unless you want it as a topic of conversation, why would you announce it to people? Do you REALLY want people offering their "advice" and "help" and input?

This. Look to your MFP peeps for support, leave your real life friends out of it.

MinnieInMaine

I had the same question when I started out. On one hand, having everyone know will keep me motivated but on the other hand, I'm not sure if I want all the unwanted advice. However, it ended up that I didn't really have that much of a choice. My work used to have a Weight Watchers session here and since it was so convenient and was at a discount, I couldn't pass that up. Obviously all my co-workers knew what I was doing. Thankfully though, everyone was great about it. They were happy for me and very complimentary when they started noticing changes. I got some "oh, you probably can't have this" type comments if we'd have treats but honestly, except for the first six months or so when I was uber committed, I haven't passed up the opportunity for a nice treat now and again.

LOL - hope that brain dump was helpful

As far as snacking goes - there's nothing wrong with having a snack. They get a bad rep because most "snack" foods are junk. If you want a snack, make it healthy. Have some fruit, veggies, yogurt, nuts. If you really like having a sweet or salty treat, just make sure it's portioned out so you don't go overboard. I'm more of a sweet than salty/crunchy snacker but I always keep some of those 100 cal bags of light butter popcorn on hand, especially at work. Very handy when you just want to munch mindlessly.

Also, I agree with what someone above said...make sure when you're hungry that you're really hungry. If you're just snacking for the sake of boredom, then actually get up and do something instead. It's a hard habit to break but like anything, you can form better habits with time and practice.

Good luck!

imaginaryplant

Honestly, it's better to have them ask you. All the time, people in my life say they've lost weight and whatnot when it's clear they haven't. It cheapens actual achievement.

I also find when I share it with more than just my husband and daughter or My Fitness Pal community/friends it feels jinxed in a way.

Get support from people on this site, and let everyone else look at you and notice the difference. It feels better.

Steff46

If you tell everyone then they will be constantly waiting for results or even worse...failure. Don't put any more stress on yourself than you have to. Focus on you!
I also struggle with wanting to snack in the evening after I am done with most of my daily activities. If it were earlier in the day I would drink more water but since it is at night I try to keep busy with other things. Lately, I have been doing an easy stretch routine in my living room floor while watching a TV show and then use my foam roller. This usually takes my mind off of food and gets me ready for bed.

CariJean64

I wondered the same thing when I started... who to tell, who NOT to tell...

I ended up only telling a few select people. My husband and daughter know, and a sister who lives overseas, and a couple of online friends. I felt I needed a few people who I *KNEW* would be encouraging.

I have several brothers and sisters I have NOT told. I'm just waiting for them to notice. One sister in particular might not take it well that I've lost significant weight, because she and I used to be about the same weight (though she is 4 inches shorter) and I worry that she'll be jealous, but I can't let that hinder what I'm doing! I need to do this for MYSELF and my own health.

I'd much rather get delayed compliments and have someone ask, "How did you do it?" than get unsolicited advice.

_runnerbean_

I am going to take all the snacks out the house and just have fruit and cereal bars! Hopefully this works

I find it hard to avoid snacking too so I try to plan my snacks into my calorie allowance. I find protein snacks like cashew nuts keep me full for longer but weigh them carefully as a small pile can have a lot if cals. Watch out for cereal bars- they look healthy but some have as many calories and sugar as chocolate bars. Good luck with your healthy eating.

farfromthetree

Some great answers on here! This time I pretty much kept it to myself. It felt like it was my little secret. Only really good friends, family knew. Snacking is fine as long as it is within your daily calories. My snacking time was always at night, after dinner. I learned to occupy myself doing other things or finding something enjoyable to do that did not include food. Someone else said it earlier but, I also would just go to bed early. The later I stayed up, the more I wanted to snack.

ValGogo

ME, personally, I'd say keep it to yourself. The only support you need is from yourself and this website, if at all.

You don't have to prove anything to anyone. When they start to notice, then you can answer questions but keep this little nugget to yourself. It's yours, it's special and you will be proud of yourself when you start to notice the change you have effected in your life without anyone else's knowledge and approval.

We don't refrain from snacking. What you want to ask yourself when you want to snack is "Am I really hungry or is it just appetite?" Chances are you are not hungry. Find good snacks to keep around. If you have a protein bar, cut it into four pieces and eat one piece. Make good choices; you have the power. Use the force, Luke.

Keep coming back and let us know your progress.

krennie8

I told some people, but others I regretted telling. It's a mixed bag. Honestly for me I think it's best to have like one person who's on the same path and you can commiserate with. Beyond that, I don't think it's helpful. Heck, that's why I haven't added any friends here! The community is helpful, but for me friends on here make me nervous. Almost like a "judgey" feeling. I know they aren't, but that's how I feel. And if I have a bad day, go over my limits, friends on here make me not want to log them. So I don't add ppl.

Anonycatgirl

I told the close friends we have dinner with regularly, so they'd understand that if I ate more salad and less [fill-in-the-blank]. They've been great about coming up with lighter menus when it's their turn to cook--and only laughing a little when I weight and measure my portions. (I don't mind a little teasing, because it *is* kind of funny to watch!) And I told my mom, again so she'd understand when I didn't eat ALL THE FOOD when I was visiting her.

As for snacking, I snacked pretty much constantly throughout the weight loss process and am doing it even more in maintenance. I find it actually helps for me, because I never get crazy hungry. Just be aware of what you're nibbling and don't forget to log it.

christullos

I tell no one about my diet except my wife of course. I have found in my many many years of dieting (getting old here) that most people do not support you in your diet. They will say things like, "I think you you look great as you are" or "come on just one won't hurt you."

I have also come to understand that most of my friends "secretly" want me to fail, especially among my heavier friends, because if I can do it through dieting and not exercising then they can do it. They just don't want to do it.

My wife (She is 5'7" and 144 lbs) really gets comments from her heavier friends calling her "to thin, skinny minny". This really upsets her. She lost 22lbs and has maintained her weight for 8 years now. She is my inspiration.

Artionis

Hi, i signed up a long time ago but just starting to get serious now about loosing weight. Im 21 i weigh about 19 stone and i wan't to loose weight and be fit and healthy. I don't know whether to tell people or not? I am comfortable with my body and accept that i'm overweight but if i tell people i am afraid they will laugh at me, or say stuff rather than support me? If i keep it to myself and just get on with it and then people start realizing i'm losing weight and then admit 'yes i am trying to lose weight'. Maybe i am afraid to tell people incase i fail. Suggestions?
Also what keeps you guys motivated and stops you from snacking? I don't eat unhealthy breakfasts/dinners but i snack all the time, how do you guys refrain?

Hope to get some replies Thanks for reading! xo

My first question is just who are these "people"? Close family? Third cousins? Close friends? Your bank teller? If you have trusted confidants, tell them you are changing your lifestyle for the better. If the response is anything other than something like "I'm so happy for you, is there anything I can do to give your morale a boost?", then process the thought that they are failing you.

If you believe any of these "people" will laugh at you or ridicule you for taking control of your life and making better decisions, then that is a toxic person who should be dropped off your radar, no matter what their title is. OTOH, if someone makes a stupidly clueless hurtful remark, you may respond immediately with something like "what a tasteless and hurtful thing to say." Then stare at them. A decent person will fall over themselves to apologize. It is SO important to learn to handle the moment.

Don't be "afraid" of anything other than a bear in your living room. You are undertaking a process to make your body healthier, more fit, and as a collateral benefit, more attractive. What a super cool thing to do! Setbacks, bad days, so what? Imagine yourself in one year from now -- how much happier and healthier you WILL be. It's all within your power.

Stick with it -- we're rooting for you.

AglaeaC

I told some people, but others I regretted telling. It's a mixed bag. Honestly for me I think it's best to have like one person who's on the same path and you can commiserate with. Beyond that, I don't think it's helpful. Heck, that's why I haven't added any friends here! The community is helpful, but for me friends on here make me nervous. Almost like a "judgey" feeling. I know they aren't, but that's how I feel. And if I have a bad day, go over my limits, friends on here make me not want to log them. So I don't add ppl.

My food diary is closed and none of the people on my friend list have ever asked to see it. I also have deactivated the notification that becomes a status update once the logging is done, and haven't received any questions about that either.

ColourfulFiasco1

I'm not sure if someone has mentioned this yet or not…but there is a psychological phenomena where telling someone you're going to do something (or saying you have!) tends to keep you from actually doing it, because you feel accomplished in having begun.
My goal is to let the weight fall off and have people ASK! Wouldn't that be more satisfying that some half-bit Facebook comment wishing you luck?

amflautist

In the end it's about you. You alone. Only you - only your determination to succeed - will make it happen. No matter who you tell, your support must come from within You.

Lonestar5775

You could do both. Do not tell friends or family in real life but make some friends here on MFP with whom you share the common goal of becoming healthier. Best of luck to you!

jnelson1028

I told my best friend and my immediate family. 1- for support and encouragement 2- just so they are considerate of meals. We often eat together. Otherwise I keep it to myself. But I do recommend having atleast one person you can go to.