Tell people for support or keep it to myself?

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Replies

  • NJGamerChick
    NJGamerChick Posts: 467 Member
    Get support from people on this site, and let everyone else look at you and notice the difference. It feels better.

    I was going to say this, as well as, let people who are on the same path support you. Those who are not will not usually understand. When you "advertise", some people expect you to fail and some will purposely sabotage you even when they are supportive of your decision.

    Good luck and I hope that things work out. There are lots of people here who are wonderful. :)
  • ratherbeskiing
    ratherbeskiing Posts: 847 Member
    I said at work one day that I was going to lose weight and people thought that I was joking or that it would only last for a while. The only people that really saw me make a huge effort was family because they were around when I started with the food scale and everything and they were very supportive. When I went out with friends I would just get salad and healthy choices. It was not until I started to run that people started noticing and they noticed I was bringing my own food and stuff that people realized that I was serious and it was going to happen. Then I got a lot of support from my friends.
  • Dlewis8288
    Dlewis8288 Posts: 42 Member
    For me, I didn't tell any one other than my husband of course, and when ppl started to comment I told them with a big fat smile! They are very encouraging and happy for my accomplishments. Don't expect the worse out of ppl, and if you get a few here's in there just ignore them and use it for fuel I. Your next work out!
  • Alidecker
    Alidecker Posts: 1,262 Member
    I told some people, some really close friends and my immediate family. I was so happy to have them support me. When I started, I had personal training sessions every Monday and my best friend would always wait for my text or phone call telling her how my week went. She was very encouraging and still is. I told a few people at work, those who I know also are health conscious. It worked for me to have other people to be accountable to. I am a people pleaser, could be why it helped. I never told anyone on my attempts to lose weight before and that never seemed to work for me. This time, I've lost 100+ pounds and kept it off for almost 4 years now.
  • jim180155
    jim180155 Posts: 769 Member
    With very few exceptions, don't tell anybody. Make an exception for particular people that you really want to share with, but otherwise keep it to yourself. Because with the exception of those exceptions, nobody cares.

    Think about it. You're overweight, so of course you're going to diet. And of course you expect to lose weight. All overweight people diet, right? And with a few exceptions, most of them fail. So why should anyone think you're going to be any different?

    Keep it to yourself. You're the one who's going to have to do all the work anyway, and the strength to stick with it has to come from within. You're not going to get that from other people. Not even the most supportive people can do much for you if you're not taking this upon yourself with the determination and perseverance to succeed.

    Lose weight and everything will change. Some will react negatively, probably out of jealousy. But most will suddenly be interested in your weight loss. They'll want to know your "secret" and they'll be asking how you did it. They might be a little disappointed when they find out that you followed what they already know, but they'll still want to know about it, and they'll continue to be interested as they watch you transform yourself into a more healthy version of yourself.

    But for now, keep it to yourself and start making the changes you need to make.
  • Will_Run_for_Food
    Will_Run_for_Food Posts: 561 Member
    They say sharing your goals with others is good because a) you'll (ideally) gain support and b) it'll hold you accountable. You don't have to tell the whole world - sometimes just this forum is enough. But maybe consider telling a few close friends or family members. I'm glad I did.
  • snowflake930
    snowflake930 Posts: 2,188 Member
    Of course it is a personal choice, but, I didn't tell anyone, not even husband or daughter.
    Just did it, and let people notice.
    Starting over tomorrow was the story of my life.
    When the compliments started coming daily, the incentive to keep going really helped. Now, after almost 2-1/2 years, it is habit. Not easy, but it is really a good feeling to be a "normal" size after being morbidly obese.
  • nixxthirteen
    nixxthirteen Posts: 280 Member
    I told only my closest friends and the family members who live with me at first.

    Part of it is because I have friends and relatives who have suffered from ED's and I don't think it's fair to discuss calories around them. I also hate making people feel uncomfortable about their own food choices.

    I've worked at the same grocery store for 7 years, so lately I get a LOT of questions now that my loss is getting really noticeable. Customers who haven't seen me in a while go kinda nuts. In a good way heh. So, like others have said, that element of surprise is really nice.

    When asked by a stranger, I tend to at most say "I stick to around 2000 calories a day and ride my bike to work!" If friends ask, I don't mind showing them or explaining in more detail. But I will say, it does get really frustrating when people want to know "your secret" and ask all kinds of questions, and even after devoting time and effort to show them everything you've learned, they decide after like a week that it's too hard and they can't do it. And the more weight you lose, the more jealous and whiny they get.... That part has not been fun.

    The "stop now, you've lost enough" comments get old as hell, too.
  • FitOldMomma
    FitOldMomma Posts: 790 Member
    The only people I personally told about my new eating and fitness life is my husband and one friend.

    I've had just a few people notice I've lost weight and asked me about it. I told them about MFP and about my swimming routine.

    Other than that, I've not put posts on Facebook or gone out of my way to announce it.

    I like reading all the success stories here, and the 'help' questions. Some particular topics I avoid though, lol. Especially the ones that have anything to do with:
    eating less than 1200 calories a day.:wink:
  • FitOldMomma
    FitOldMomma Posts: 790 Member
    I told only my closest friends and the family members who live with me at first.

    Part of it is because I have friends and relatives who have suffered from ED's and I don't think it's fair to discuss calories around them. I also hate making people feel uncomfortable about their own food choices.

    I've worked at the same grocery store for 7 years, so lately I get a LOT of questions now that my loss is getting really noticeable. Customers who haven't seen me in a while go kinda nuts. In a good way heh. So, like others have said, that element of surprise is really nice.

    When asked by a stranger, I tend to at most say "I stick to around 2000 calories a day and ride my bike to work!" If friends ask, I don't mind showing them or explaining in more detail. But I will say, it does get really frustrating when people want to know "your secret" and ask all kinds of questions, and even after devoting time and effort to show them everything you've learned, they decide after like a week that it's too hard and they can't do it. And the more weight you lose, the more jealous and whiny they get.... That part has not been fun.

    The "stop now, you've lost enough" comments get old as hell, too.

    Haha, I can't wait to get to point where my friends are telling me "you've lost enough". :laugh:
  • lunalee84
    lunalee84 Posts: 372 Member
    I've kept it to myself. In the past I've noticed that once people know you are trying to be healthier they offer (maybe not intentionally) you more snacks, ask questions like "oh what happened to your diet?" when you eat something they think you shouldn't.

    I'm doing this for me and for my health. So for that reason I will just keep trying to make choices that help me and if people notice I will just say the truth, that I'm just trying to be healthier.

    It's also one of the reasons I joined up here- to keep track of calories, but to also put it out 'there' that this is my intention.
  • Itslozzamate
    Itslozzamate Posts: 56
    When I first started losing weight in 2012 whilst I was at university and decided to tell my friends, they were all really supportive and I manged to lose 3 stone! However it all went downhill when I moved home and my parents decided to put their opinions in. I have gained all the weight back since!

    But now i'm living with my fiance and I have decided to lose weight before our wedding. Ive decided to not to tell anyone apart from him. He has also decided to try and lose weight now too. But I have learnt from my mistakes and will be keeping it to myself well until people start noticing (I live 300+ miles away from my family so I probably wont see them until christmas anyway)
  • garnerish
    garnerish Posts: 67 Member
    There's a few reports out there that say telling people about your plan to do something means you end up not doing it.

    Something about feeling accomplished without doing anything.

    I didn't tell anyone about my weight loss until I was about 15lb in, and that's only because they asked.
  • CariJean64
    CariJean64 Posts: 297 Member
    Some particular topics I avoid though, lol. Especially the ones that have anything to do with:
    eating less than 1200 calories a day.:wink:

    Oh, YES! Much wisdom here!! I try not to even open those threads, but sometimes I can't help myself. I must need a good eyeroll or something those days.

    :-)
  • TurtleTape
    TurtleTape Posts: 254 Member
    I really wish I'd never told anyone. I kept it a secret for the first couple of months way back when I first started, but eventually I had this need to talk to someone about it, so I ended up telling my close friends and my family.

    Now, over two years later, I still get questions about how it's going, and my mom still says "you look so good!"...even though I've fallen off the wagon and actually weigh more now than I did when I originally started. Because I told people two years ago, I now get regular reminders of how badly I failed.
  • tasoleil
    tasoleil Posts: 1
    My feeling is that my weight is my own personal business. It's all about me feeling comfortable in my own body. I do much better just doing my own thing an not having it become a topic of conversation...
  • GetFitzy
    GetFitzy Posts: 17 Member
    The only people I think yo should tell are the ones you live with AND who have an impact on the food in the house. for example, you're 10 year old doesn't need to know, because she (hopefully) isn't doing the grocery shopping. but your significant other/family members who are of age and who can bring chips and cookies into the home? it's good to tell them you want to eat healthier and that you prefer they not bring these foods home. they can eat them while they are out of the house.
  • Sebismom
    Sebismom Posts: 44 Member
    You've already received great advice, so I'm just adding my perspective to the chorus. Don't tell. Telling people gives them permission to then give advice, make comments, and generally to have an opinion on your lifestyle. Your change in eating/exercise habits is yours alone (of course those we feed, like children and spouses, will be affected). I've never even sought out exercise buddies, because my running/walking/gym time is my alone time. My healthier menu choices at restaurants are not on anyone's radar because I have not alerted anyone to my attempts at weight loss (I've always been known in my family as the organic/healthy eater anyway). Keep it to yourself, then when that acquaintance from work gives you the once over and squeals "oh my god, you've lost so much weight!" it will feel really good and you know it's an honest reaction. Good luck!
  • RaspberryKeytoneBoondoggle
    RaspberryKeytoneBoondoggle Posts: 1,349 Member
    I don't tell people.
    I stayed motivated by looking at graphs of my intake and journaling.

    I did very well for two years, but lately I'm sliding backwards to old habits. I'll just keep trying new things until something sticks. At the moment I have a high intensity interval training goals while eating under or at the daily calories I need to maintain my weight. I do find that I need to have a positive attitude to keep going and I have to ignore that voice inside my head that suggests this is difficult.
  • alicia0412
    alicia0412 Posts: 165 Member
    I've told a select few people, namely my parents, boyfriend, and best friend. I feel like they actually *should* know because they're the people I interact with the most, which means they're also the people I eat with the most. I wanted to make sure they knew I was making a lifestyle change so that no one would do that annoying "You HAVE to try this. It's so good. Why don't you want it? It's delicious! TRYYYY IIIIT". Other than that, I keep it to myself. It's really not anyone's business, and if I need support then I just come here instead!
  • btanton27
    btanton27 Posts: 186 Member
    I only told a few family members n my best friend at first. My family has been very supportive but I do regret telling the best friend. She became quite jealous and told me that all i care about is myself anymore. We have both been quite overweight our whole lives and I think she was only supportive because she didn't think it would last. I had always been the bigger friend and I think it upsets her that I'm smaller than her now. Unfortunately we have now grown apart and I use MFP as my mayor support team now. I use the positive comments that i get from people i haven't seen in awhile as my ego booster now lol
  • SsetAdnama
    SsetAdnama Posts: 106 Member
    I told my fiance, my workout buddy, my mom, and my IRL friends on MFP. I don't plan on advertising it, but I'll answer truthfully if asked.

    For snacks: frozen fruit - love frozen watermelon! Also substitute plain Greek yogurt for sour cream, and I found dip mixes go great with cottage cheese (which I ordinarily hate). If cravings are bad, or my fiance is eating everything not nailed down and I'm tempted to join him, I eat a lemon. It wipes out my cravings. Mmmmm citric acid. Strange things work.
  • princesskjr
    princesskjr Posts: 16 Member
    Hi! Like you I am a big girl I decided to lose weight in May this year, I told everybody I work with my family and friends, the reason I did this was 1) I knew they would support me 2) Im stubborn and cant give up as Ive told people what I am doing!

    When i first started exercising I was really embarrassed that people would see a "fatty" trying to power walk and laugh but I then said to myself im getting fit and healthy. I really don't care anymore if people look at me when I'm walking i actually feel great that I'm getting out and making changes to my life.

    Do you manage to get out and exercise? Walking is brilliant for getting fit and its free which is a bonus!!! With reference to snacking the best thing to do is not to buy the unhealthy snacks so that temptation can be avoided, have you tried drinking a glass of water when you feel hungry between meals? That may help if after say 30mins you are still feeling hungry reach for some fruit or low fat snacks.

    I wish you the best of luck in your weight loss journey keep your head held high and don't be embarrassed/worried about telling people what you are doing they will probably surprise you and give you some support. :-)
  • denish93
    denish93 Posts: 1
    I keep it to myself. It seems everyone wants to give you advice once they know you are trying to lose weight. I also find when I say that I've even started working out everyone is a critic. I think its better if people just notice you are losing weight and then mention something like "I've just been trying to eat better and live healthier"...usually works for me. I agree with other posters- its best not to advertise but maybe just tell your loved ones...? everyone's different :-)

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