Hypocrisy when dating?

beethedreamer

1. I'm a fatty (lol) but I've never had a problem attracting guys. I *do* have the boob thing going in my favor, i suppose, but i think confidence plays a big part here.

2. I could never be with a man that weighed less than i do.

3. I've never been into a typical "type" & if i think about it, big muscle guys never did much for me.....until I met my BF. He's got the biggest, yummiest arms & shoulders and OMG....i need to stop right there since this is a PG site

4. I still think any man is lucky to have me :laugh: but I've been like that since I was younger & thinner and I supposed that hasn't changed much even with a chubby tummy. I used to think if I could meet Ricky Schroeder or (and then as i got older) Zach Morris that they'd both want to date me. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

i agree that confidence is a big part in finding someone attractive, male or female.

Wolfena

this may be SUPER TMI, but i've always found that sex with a guy with a hard body (especially v-lines) is painful. I had an ex who was cut and had "v-lines" and his jagged *kitten* hip bones dug into me in an incredibly painful way. suckkkkks! am i the only one who thinks that? LOL

hahaha - no, I agree with you.

ChuckgM3

I can promise you, I can't do a darned thing about my curves. I can reduce the fat in those curves but they will always be there. And, some shorties still consider 5'7 as "tall".

I used "curvier" in quotations as kind of a euphemism for girls who are chunky but use their "curves" as an excuse for being overweight... Of course there is nothing wrong with a woman's natural curves and to exclude you I said 90%

Oh and I'm actually 5'6... Old habit of stretching the truth on the Internet (I used to wear dress shoes with generous soles haha)

alantin

What is a v-line?

apetty21

I can promise you, I can't do a darned thing about my curves. I can reduce the fat in those curves but they will always be there. And, some shorties still consider 5'7 as "tall".

and I'm actually 5'6... Old habit of stretching the truth on the Internet (I used to wear dress shoes with generous soles haha)

Oh, yea, it's not an excuse. It's just a fact. (and my sister has a body opposite mine...in the curves department...it's weird) And maybe I should lie online. Yea. I can be...5'6 too! Hells yes. (I hate being short)

ChuckgM3

I actually read a study that said that couples, with a certain difference in heights, were the happiest!

Are there any girls that prefer shorter guys than them or guys that prefer taller girls?

I wouldn't say I have a preference, but more of my ex gfs have been taller than me than shorter... Then again they are ex's so I'm not sure that speaks to the happiest relationships

apetty21

What is a v-line?

When your muscles make a shape like a V around your hip bones. I've never personally had one ha.

alantin

Oh and I'm actually 5'6... Old habit of stretching the truth on the Internet (I used to wear dress shoes with generous soles haha)

lol
I never thought that a guy would do something like that!
I'm 6' and never really thought much about how tall people are.
Most just happen to be about the same height or shorter!
What is tall anyway? I don't really think that I am!

ChuckgM3

Oh and I'm actually 5'6... Old habit of stretching the truth on the Internet (I used to wear dress shoes with generous soles haha)

lol
I never thought that a guy would do something like that!
I'm 6' and never really thought much about how tall people are.
Most just happen to be about the same height or shorter!
What is tall anyway? I don't really think that I am!

Haha... Spoken like a true six footer. If you're a male who has never had to think about his height, you're tall.

dkrioux

this may be SUPER TMI, but i've always found that sex with a guy with a hard body (especially v-lines) is painful. I had an ex who was cut and had "v-lines" and his jagged *kitten* hip bones dug into me in an incredibly painful way. suckkkkks! am i the only one who thinks that? LOL

I feel the same way... I prefer guys with some meat on their bones... there is a difference in meat and a ton of fat... but yes! it is very painful!:)

ChuckgM3

Oh, yea, it's not an excuse. It's just a fact. (and my sister has a body opposite mine...in the curves department...it's weird) And maybe I should lie online. Yea. I can be...5'6 too! Hells yes. (I hate being short)

I guarantee you if you ask 100 guys, 99 of them will tell you they don't care how short a girl is... In fact many of them will only have a maximum height as women who are taller than them intimidate them (thankfully I don't have that problem)

And looking at your pics, you definitely aren't part of that 90% I was talking about, your curves look great and you're hot as hell... Just saying'

msbanana

I would never date a guy who was "short", and for me short is anything under 6ft. My boyfriend is 6ft3 and thin - I've always gone for the tall skinny guys! I'm about 5ft3 and chubbers - but even when I was a bit chunkier I never had any shortage of guys I found attractive chatting me up. Heh, maybe if you're tall and skinny you'll look for a short fat girl? Hm...

lol my old roommate (5 feet tall even and chubbers) called this the Spaghetti and Meatball effect. :laugh: She only dated tall skinny guys.

I on the other hand, when I was younger and SUPER SUPER fit I only dated athletes. (Ya gotta keep up!!) But now, my dude (and my preference in general) is a bigger guy. (He's 6'3" 280 and fairly fit and REALLY strong) I'm a big girl (5'10" and lets call it Buxom) I don't want to be the big spoon. At the same time though if I want to go do something crazy (Warrior Dash, spur of the moment hike whatever) my dude needs to be able to keep up. AND I've found that bigger guys tend not to make the "I like me a thick girl" type comments. (I really really really hate that.) SOOO I guess my tastes have changed as I've changed.

ckmama

I've been both fit and fat. And find if you pick anyone because of the way they look you will be dissapointed. People change on purpose or by forces of nature.

I have never picked a mate based just on how they look. Attraction is great, but what happens when that fades, and it will, and you have nothing to fall back on.

that is why you see so many people who cheat on "beautiful" spouses. Maybe it's a man thing.

alantin

apetty21
Thanks for clearing that up!

ChuckgM3
LoL
I met this really tall Hungarian girl once. I was standing a small step higher than she and she was still taller than me! It was really awkward.

I think we both still fit pretty well to this world that, I heard somewhere, is mostly built for people who are between 5'3 and 6'3 tall.

alantin

I guarantee you if you ask 100 guys, 99 of them will tell you they don't care how short a girl is... In fact many of them will only have a maximum height as women who are taller than them intimidate them (thankfully I don't have that problem)

touché :laugh:

apetty21

Oh, yea, it's not an excuse. It's just a fact. (and my sister has a body opposite mine...in the curves department...it's weird) And maybe I should lie online. Yea. I can be...5'6 too! Hells yes. (I hate being short)

I guarantee you if you ask 100 guys, 99 of them will tell you they don't care how short a girl is... In fact many of them will only have a maximum height as women who are taller than them intimidate them (thankfully I don't have that problem)

And looking at your pics, you definitely aren't part of that 90% I was talking about, your curves look great and you're hot as hell... Just saying'

Thanks! I appreciate that. And I think I dated the 1 out of 100 that had a problem with my height. Somehow it wound up equaling "childlike" or maybe..not as mature? I dunno. I had a hard time figuring him out. All in the past though.

And I think maybe the way we describe ourselves means something different to the person we are communicating with. Curvy to me might not be curvy to somebody else. I mean, I am short, but to alantin that thinks 6 ft isn't tall? It is. Unless you are 6'3. It's all perspective and what certain words mean to you. My meaning of chubby isn't my friend's meaning of chubby.

ckmama

Don't get me wrong I like looking at beautiful people, man or woman, but I'm not going to decide if they are worth me dating or not based on that. There are so many other things.

What if they sucked at "wink wink" OMG I don't care how good looking they are or were "teeny weeny" wink wink....who cares how they look. What's the point of being attractive if you don't have anything to follow up with. It's like writing a check when you have no money in the bank. Sorry TMI>

alantin

Curvy to me might not be curvy to somebody else. I mean, I am short, but to alantin that thinks 6 ft isn't tall? It is. Unless you are 6'3. It's all perspective and what certain words mean to you. My meaning of chubby isn't my friend's meaning of chubby.

We had a fine laugh about this when I was asking a quite short woman for someone taller than her and describing him as "short"..


@ckmama
Riiiiiiight..... ! :laugh:

kmard81

disturbing that you call those girls 'fattys'.. not so great for their self-esteem.. just saying..

Hi, I'm Jake and I'm a fatty. I'm not ashamed of it but I have certainly never told a girl that they were a fatty, don't be a hater. Be sweet, bsweettt!

bbwwwwahhh :laugh:

Love the name of your website by the way

SugarNtheRaw

WOW. Am I the only person on here that A) Dates because of the person, not what they look like and Doesn't care because even though I have never been perfect I am perfectly happy? I'll admit if the guy has no teeth and is all gross then hell no, but I've dated "chubby guys" and tall guys, shorter guys (i'm tall for a girl in this area) and suuuper built guys. Yeah I know what I like, but I'll give anyone the chance that is bold enough to ask for one and not be a pig about it. (i.e. them's nice boobies! and other bad pickup lines) My fiance is 6'1" and is a heavy guy, and was heavier when we got together but we have never been sedentary. Also, I saw a pic of him before we got together and DAAAAMN. My point is, I love Anthony for the way he is, not the way he looks. Looks always change, being an asswipe or a shallow *kitten* waffle will NOT. I have to say though, when I was with the skinny dude I dated for a bit, I was always fearing that I would break him.

ChuckgM3

(i.e. them's nice boobies! and other bad pickup lines)

Wait... That's NOT a classy pick up line?... So that's what I've been doing wrong this whole time!

Of course the quality of the person is most important, but I think if we are honest with ourselves, most of us realize we would have a better relationship with even the most wonderful person in the world if we are sexually attracted to them than if we weren't.

Its not wrong to want both.

msbanana

being an asswipe or a shallow *kitten* waffle will NOT. I have to say though, when I was with the skinny dude I dated for a bit, I was always fearing that I would break him.

first, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA *kitten* waffle?!?! LOVE IT. second, yeah I've always been afraid I'd break a skinny guy. I don't want to be the tough one... and with me the guy has to be pretty freakin tough. Not saying skinny guys aren't tough but I don't want to fear snapping you in two if we get a little too frisky.

apetty21

Of course the quality of the person is most important, but I think if we are honest with ourselves, most of us realize we would have a better relationship with even the most wonderful person in the world if we are sexually attracted to them than if we weren't.

Its not wrong to want both.

True, there has to be sexual attraction. But this is where guy's brains and girl's brains differ. For a girl, sexual attration does not always equal good looks. It's a plus, don't get me wrong, but sexual attraction and being physically attractive are not necessarily interchangeable. You might be hot as hell but that doesn't mean I'm sexually attracted to you. You might not feel like the most attractive guy out there but I could be sexually attracted to you.

Guys are more visual. Or so Cosmo magazine tells me.

Wolfena

For a girl, sexual attration does not always equal good looks. It's a plus, don't get me wrong, but sexual attraction and being physically attractive are not necessarily interchangeable. You might be hot as hell but that doesn't mean I'm sexually attracted to you. You might not feel like the most attractive guy out there but I could be sexually attracted to you.

That is SOOOooooooooOOOOoooooo TRUE!

binary_jester

I can't say it makes you a hypocrite. Attraction is attraction...period. There is no logic or reason. It is why the skinny guy likes the heavier girl. It is an asian fetish. It is a myriad of things.
Guys are visual. We are. But that is easily overcome because of something else. Can't explain it, but it is what it is.
I would never fault someone for attraction or preference, because who am I to say what is right or wrong? Perhaps if you state I will only date so and so for XYZ reasons, thus closing yourself off to other opportunities, I would say you might be missing something out there.
Perhaps it is because I am at the other end of the spectrum. I was never a guy to walk into a bar and have my pick. I always relied heavily on personalty (and an awesome red 65 mustang when i was younger) to get dates. I was always looking for the female that said sense of humor and personality were their number one priorities. Usually not instant attraction, but something that had to be built over time.

ginnyroxx

I always relied heavily on personalty (and an awesome red 65 mustang when i was younger) to get dates.

....and bullying. don't forget bullying. *swoon* :smooched:

now make a muscle :laugh:

TheNewJessieMae

I'm up for a scrawny redneck guy anyday!!!! BUT I really like looking at the Rock and Vin on TV!!!

TheNewJessieMae

For a girl, sexual attration does not always equal good looks. It's a plus, don't get me wrong, but sexual attraction and being physically attractive are not necessarily interchangeable. You might be hot as hell but that doesn't mean I'm sexually attracted to you. You might not feel like the most attractive guy out there but I could be sexually attracted to you.

That is SOOOooooooooOOOOoooooo TRUE!

ohhhhhhhhh wow!!!!!!!!! can we say "nail on the head"???????

binary_jester

I always relied heavily on personalty (and an awesome red 65 mustang when i was younger) to get dates.

....and bullying. don't forget bullying. *swoon* :smooched:

now make a muscle :laugh:

lesle1

Thanks Ncones,
I agree with you. I've known my current guy since I was 85 lbs heavier. He's on the heavy side but I don't notice that. I love his personality and he's so much fun to be with. Since I've lost weight I've had some other guys take an interest in me. They just don't have his personality.