Have completely lost my motivation....

getdancing2013

So incredibly depressed that I literally walked off the track at the gym to go cry. Too frustrated, angry, sad......just failing all over. Sitting here waiting for my husband, who is of course in fantastic shape now, to finish. Nevermind that after a vacation full of sabotage from my family, he decided he "had" to have outback. I gained 5 lbs in one night. Just can't stop crying and can't shake the feelings of wanting to quit.

I have been fighting for so long and did well for a while, but now...this is the second time I've left mid workout to cry.

The frustration & sadness is overwhelming, & for all the progress I make (going up in reps/weight, smaller clothes) all I see is the fat frumpy wife. All my husband had to do was stop sodas and start working out-40 pounds gone in 4 months. I can't compete, & I know men are just that way, but I honestly don't know if I have any fight left. It seems a lost cause.

Sorry for the rant/vent. I just feel hopeless.

zman1313

You need to stop beating yourself up over the little things. The weight loss progress is a LIFESTYLE change. In your life, you have challenges, and you have to face them. Make no mistake, weight loss is no different. People go on vacations, and people indulge on vacations. That is OKAY!!! Beating yourself up over putting on a few pounds is (clearly) only making things worse. I'm sure you had a great time on your vacation, so remember that while you're working out. Think "I had a ton of fun on vacation, but now it's time to get back to where I was." Also, I highly doubt you put on 5lbs in one meal at Outback. That's more than likely water weight from the high sodium content.

So...RELAX....take a few deep breaths, get back to work, and remember that this is a lifestyle change. We all slip up at times, it's human nature. How ****ty would life be if we were all robots who never made mistakes and never indulged in good food or drinks?

You should also stop making excuses for things. You didn't HAVE to go to Outback with your husband, and you COULD HAVE ordered a healthy meal there. The NUMBER ONE most important thing to my weight loss has been personal accountability. I no longer allow myself to make excuses for ANYTHING, because that's a vicious cycle and before I know it I'd be back to eating 4 McDonad's sausage McMuffins for breakfast every morning.

nevertoooldtodoit

I'm sorry you are feeling so defeated. Have you heard of ANTS, automatic negative thinking? Sometimes I get stuck in this pattern of thinking and then start to believe that just because I think it, it is true. I have to consciously work to debunk my negative thoughts by speaking them and then talking myself through why none of it is true. I have to consciously refocus my thinking. You have lost 18 lbs and you are out making an effort to exercise. Those are both wins in my book. You cannot control what others say or do, you are in charge of how you respond. I wish you the best. One step at a time!

brenn24179

I think we have all felt like you, it is hard work getting this weight off but it is also hard being fat. Maybe you shouldn't vacation with your family. We need to put ourselves first and make taking care of ourself a priority. I am learning to set boundaries with myself and tell myself No. I just had two pieces of pizza and could have eaten the whole thing. I think after you eat right for a while it becomes a habit and you rarely overdo it. Start logging again and make up your mind to do this. It is miserable when you cant fit in your clothes. Love yourself and care for yourself and don't do this destructive overeating stuff.

Stiang

Any time I get frustrated with the lack of movement (or bad movement) on the scale, I go and look at the SUCCESS folder. I see some who lose it fast and then I see those who have lost it slow. Just keep moving and don't compare yourself to your husband. :flowerforyou:

mntwoman05

I know exactly how you feel. My husband started dieting about 3 weeks ago and has already lost 14 pounds. I've been dieting for over 2 months and have only lost 15. We also went on a short vacation around family and I too gained some weight back. I felt frustrated looking at that number knowing I did't cheat that much, but I then stepped off and had to remind myself that I will have some set backs. I just have to continuing plugging forward and hope all my hard work will pay off in the end. I have struggled with being overweight my whole life. I have yo-yoed far to many times. I really feel this time I am headed in the right direction. I know it will take time and focus, but I am determined this time. I have health issues that are forcing me to change my life style, but I also want to be happy with my body. Push through this. There has to be light at the end of the tunnel for those that fight for it!

AglaeaC

It's okay to have a crappy day from time to time. Then you need to be kind to yourself and remind yourself of what you have done already, not just what still lies ahead of you. You might benefit from comparing yourself to you only, nobody else.

The excess weight didn't come over night, so it can't come off quickly either. You're building a new you and that takes time, is supposed to as well, or you won't be solid in the foundation. Be patient. I know some dislike that word here, but this is a lifestyle change that includes changing any unhealthy habits you can think of. Patience and perseverance will take you there.

Also, ask yourself why it was that you wanted to change your lifestyle again. Do you have a moodboard, motivational quotes and photos, something scribbled down for moments like this? Go look at them. Tomorrow is a new day and a clean slate.

getdancing2013

I had a motivation folder...I deleted it when I got angry.

And yes, I know I'm ultimately responsible for what I eat. I did make better choices than before - steamed veggies, water vs alcohol, dressing on the side, no dessert. And I was proud of that. But I don't know what it is with me where I let setbacks devastate me.

Thank you all for your words - I will try to reflect more and regroup.

AglaeaC

I had a motivation folder...I deleted it when I got angry.

And yes, I know I'm ultimately responsible for what I eat. I did make better choices than before - steamed veggies, water vs alcohol, dressing on the side, no dessert. And I was proud of that. But I don't know what it is with me where I let setbacks devastate me.

Thank you all for your words - I will try to reflect more and regroup.

Do you think you extrapolate the feeling of one or two bad days to "forever and ever" maybe ("everything is ruined now")? Or is it just a feeling of having the whole house of cards come tumbling down in a huge kaboom, more in the present moment?

I'm in the habit of posting a daily quote on my feed whenever I remember to do it and today's quote is this:
"The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones." - Confucius.

If I may use it as analogy to your situation, what you already have achieved is a big pile of stuff next to the mountain (which has become mountain minus pile as a result). When you have a bad day, it is only about the small stones that are today's task. You don't reset the whole thing, but the pile already moved is still where you moved it. I'm not sure whether this is where the problem is in your case?

melodiarentsen

I watched an old Oprah Winfrey show about massive weight loss success stories the other day. Her old weight loss guru, Tom Green (think that is his name) was on the show. He said women have to be virtually perfect to lose weight whereas men get to cheat. You absolutely cannot compare yourself to your husband at all. My husband's calorie intake allowance alone could defeat my motivation if I allowed it. You are you. So you ate at Outback. You only live once. Continue from there. That weight will most likely not stick. What is it? One pound is like 3200 calories? Are you saying you ate that x five? You couldn't have. It will come right back off.

Be strong. Try to talk positively to yourself. Begin again. I think you can do it.

kateirving

I so feel for you. I am having to fight with myself to go out for my walks today. Perhaps talk to him about what you need in the way of encouragement to keep going. Also, how about considering antidepressants. Even for short term depression, it can help, or counseling can help you sort through your concerns. Please don't quit. You need to give yourself a break, ask for what you want, do something nice for yourself, massage, flowers, whatever.

mactaffy84

Losing weight is hard. Make no mistake about that. That is where we have to be harder. Women are strong. Heck, where do you think the human race would be if men had the children! ????????????

I also think you need to cut yourself some slack. Who is perfect? You just gotta find the will inside yourself to keep going. You know, I am woman, hear me ROAR! You can do this. One minute at a time. I get the frustration, I get the depression, I get the pity, and I get the anger. Been there, done that.

And, for goodness sake, not only do not compare your weight loss with your husband, don't compare with anyone else! That is a bad idea! You are you and no one else on the face of the earth has your own characteristics. Weight loss is individual.

Good luck. We have faith in your ability to do this, even if, right now, you don't.

Capt_Apollo

motivation is only good for so long. it might get you out the door and exercising every so often, but dedication is what will keep you going through the hard and tough days.

i recommend signing up for a race. a challenge that is just outside of your reach, a goal that you can accomplish, is a great way to maintain focus during the tough days.

AglaeaC

I watched an old Oprah Winfrey show about massive weight loss success stories the other day. Her old weight loss guru, Tom Green (think that is his name) was on the show. He said women have to be virtually perfect to lose weight whereas men get to cheat. You absolutely cannot compare yourself to your husband at all.

I wouldn't necessarily compare to Oprah Winfrey, whose weight has been going up and down in a very non-lifestyle change-y way. And I wonder where this generalisation comes about women having to be perfect, whereas men can cheat? I just wanted to point out that I definitely don't agree with that at all.

Capt_Apollo

I watched an old Oprah Winfrey show about massive weight loss success stories the other day. Her old weight loss guru, Tom Green (think that is his name) was on the show. He said women have to be virtually perfect to lose weight whereas men get to cheat. You absolutely cannot compare yourself to your husband at all.

I wouldn't necessarily compare to Oprah Winfrey, whose weight has been going up and down in a very non-lifestyle change-y way. And I wonder where this generalisation comes about women having to be perfect, whereas men can cheat? I just wanted to point out that I definitely don't agree with that at all.

ditto.

while many men can eat more than women, i have to be mindful of my meals just like anyone else.

getdancing2013

I had a motivation folder...I deleted it when I got angry.

And yes, I know I'm ultimately responsible for what I eat. I did make better choices than before - steamed veggies, water vs alcohol, dressing on the side, no dessert. And I was proud of that. But I don't know what it is with me where I let setbacks devastate me.

Thank you all for your words - I will try to reflect more and regroup.

Do you think you extrapolate the feeling of one or two bad days to "forever and ever" maybe ("everything is ruined now")? Or is it just a feeling of having the whole house of cards come tumbling down in a huge kaboom, more in the present moment?

I'm in the habit of posting a daily quote on my feed whenever I remember to do it and today's quote is this:
"The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones." - Confucius.

If I may use it as analogy to your situation, what you already have achieved is a big pile of stuff next to the mountain (which has become mountain minus pile as a result). When you have a bad day, it is only about the small stones that are today's task. You don't reset the whole thing, but the pile already moved is still where you moved it. I'm not sure whether this is where the problem is in your case?

That's a wonderful quote! And yes, that's exactly what my mind thinks. That I just will never be able to do it, so why bother to continue, and then it feels like everything is collapsing on me. All of a sudden it feels like everyone's looking and judging, that I'm the biggest person there (not by a longshot, but my brain thinks that), like everyone is doing so much better than me...then I start hyperventilating and it feels like everything's closing in, and off I go. Happens sometimes, but yesterday's just hit me incredibly hard.

getdancing2013

I watched an old Oprah Winfrey show about massive weight loss success stories the other day. Her old weight loss guru, Tom Green (think that is his name) was on the show. He said women have to be virtually perfect to lose weight whereas men get to cheat. You absolutely cannot compare yourself to your husband at all. My husband's calorie intake allowance alone could defeat my motivation if I allowed it. You are you. So you ate at Outback. You only live once. Continue from there. That weight will most likely not stick. What is it? One pound is like 3200 calories? Are you saying you ate that x five? You couldn't have. It will come right back off.

Be strong. Try to talk positively to yourself. Begin again. I think you can do it.

Not close to that amount...but all I know is what the scale said in the morning, and it was literally 5 pounds higher. I would assume that's the food plus water retention (since when you eat out the food tends to be saltier). I had also just done legs the day before and increased all my weights - squats, leg press, etc. Thinking about it makes sense; but my mind...well has a mind of its own sometimes. Frankly if he had mentioned it at home I would've told him to take the kids and I'd stay behind, but it was a 30 minute drive each way from where we were when he said it, and I caved to him and the kids.

AglaeaC

I had a motivation folder...I deleted it when I got angry.

And yes, I know I'm ultimately responsible for what I eat. I did make better choices than before - steamed veggies, water vs alcohol, dressing on the side, no dessert. And I was proud of that. But I don't know what it is with me where I let setbacks devastate me.

Thank you all for your words - I will try to reflect more and regroup.

Do you think you extrapolate the feeling of one or two bad days to "forever and ever" maybe ("everything is ruined now")? Or is it just a feeling of having the whole house of cards come tumbling down in a huge kaboom, more in the present moment?

I'm in the habit of posting a daily quote on my feed whenever I remember to do it and today's quote is this:
"The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones." - Confucius.

If I may use it as analogy to your situation, what you already have achieved is a big pile of stuff next to the mountain (which has become mountain minus pile as a result). When you have a bad day, it is only about the small stones that are today's task. You don't reset the whole thing, but the pile already moved is still where you moved it. I'm not sure whether this is where the problem is in your case?

That's a wonderful quote! And yes, that's exactly what my mind thinks. That I just will never be able to do it, so why bother to continue, and then it feels like everything is collapsing on me. All of a sudden it feels like everyone's looking and judging, that I'm the biggest person there (not by a longshot, but my brain thinks that), like everyone is doing so much better than me...then I start hyperventilating and it feels like everything's closing in, and off I go. Happens sometimes, but yesterday's just hit me incredibly hard.

Glad it helped. My suggestion then is to remind yourself of the fact that we only have today.

It's fine to make plans and such, but we only have the moment we are living in right now, so it is pointless to worry about what happens tomorrow.

Change what you can change when you can change it. In order to be able to change step 2 tomorrow, you need to start by changing step 1 first; that's today's task.

Topsking2010

You need to stop beating yourself up over the little things. The weight loss progress is a LIFESTYLE change. In your life, you have challenges, and you have to face them. Make no mistake, weight loss is no different. People go on vacations, and people indulge on vacations. That is OKAY!!! Beating yourself up over putting on a few pounds is (clearly) only making things worse. I'm sure you had a great time on your vacation, so remember that while you're working out. Think "I had a ton of fun on vacation, but now it's time to get back to where I was." Also, I highly doubt you put on 5lbs in one meal at Outback. That's more than likely water weight from the high sodium content.

So...RELAX....take a few deep breaths, get back to work, and remember that this is a lifestyle change. We all slip up at times, it's human nature. How ****ty would life be if we were all robots who never made mistakes and never indulged in good food or drinks?

You should also stop making excuses for things. You didn't HAVE to go to Outback with your husband, and you COULD HAVE ordered a healthy meal there. The NUMBER ONE most important thing to my weight loss has been personal accountability. I no longer allow myself to make excuses for ANYTHING, because that's a vicious cycle and before I know it I'd be back to eating 4 McDonad's sausage McMuffins for breakfast every morning.

Well said

getdancing2013

I so feel for you. I am having to fight with myself to go out for my walks today. Perhaps talk to him about what you need in the way of encouragement to keep going. Also, how about considering antidepressants. Even for short term depression, it can help, or counseling can help you sort through your concerns. Please don't quit. You need to give yourself a break, ask for what you want, do something nice for yourself, massage, flowers, whatever.

I haven't really found a good antidepressant. I was on Wellbutrin about 10 years ago, and ended up nearly killing myself. Cymbalta was okay but made me pack on the pounds. Same with Prozac and some others. Some also conflict with my anti-seizure medications, so I'm reluctant to go on any others.

As for something for myself, once I start my second job (family wants a cruise so that's about how we're going to afford it) I will build in a day once a month where I go get a massage or buy myself something small. You're right that I need to do stuff for me. Originally the gym was that - and there are days it feels good, don't get me wrong. Just the last few times...just so frustrated.

AglaeaC

As for something for myself, once I start my second job (family wants a cruise so that's about how we're going to afford it) I will build in a day once a month where I go get a massage or buy myself something small. You're right that I need to do stuff for me. Originally the gym was that - and there are days it feels good, don't get me wrong. Just the last few times...just so frustrated.

If you can handle a second job, it sounds nice for your family to be able to to go on a cruise. If it pushes you beyond what you can handle right now, I strongly advise against it. A vacation away from home is a vacation no matter where it takes place and what it looks like. You need to take care of yourself first, before you can take care of others, just like they say on the airplane "Assist yourself before assisting others."

ntime60

First, pick yourself up and work to not dwell on the short term. Look at the trend. MFP has a good report tool to see that. Feel good about producing a negative trend and don't beat yourself up over a spike.

Second, it is not a competition, especially with the opposite sex. We are made differently so the way we lose or gain and why is different.

It took me a long time to put on the weight I have and I know it will not melt overnight. This is a long term change and it will take longer than any of us want or like.

Set an attainable goal and stick to it, no matter what. Be a bulldog, never give up never quit, keep being persistent and dedicated and the reward will happen.

We are all either there or have been there. That is why we are here. No negative thoughts. Be persistent and always remember your end goal.

getdancing2013

motivation is only good for so long. it might get you out the door and exercising every so often, but dedication is what will keep you going through the hard and tough days.

i recommend signing up for a race. a challenge that is just outside of your reach, a goal that you can accomplish, is a great way to maintain focus during the tough days.

I honestly don't know about doing a race right now. I've never run really, and on my husband's pushing I tried walking/running, and my shins are so incredibly swollen...even the top of my foot was a mess. I have a lot of old injuries (torn calf, 2 torn ankles) and I'm just too heavy. I think with losing about another 20-30 lbs I'd be in a better place to try running again. As inefficient as it is, ellipticals are going to have to be good enough for now (husband's comments and opinion notwithstanding).

But I do like the idea of setting up a challenge. For now I guess I can put the cruise in April as a "challenge", but it almost feels like I'm putting pressure on my appearance at that point versus a "performance" challenge, which is what I think you're getting at. The company I'll be working for participates in a 5K (Corporate Challenge) where employees can run or walk, or walk and jog, whatever. My husband, of course, placed 4th for his company, so I guess he can sit there and get me a drink

ZaCkOX

So incredibly depressed that I literally walked off the track at the gym to go cry. Too frustrated, angry, sad......just failing all over. Sitting here waiting for my husband, who is of course in fantastic shape now, to finish. Nevermind that after a vacation full of sabotage from my family, he decided he "had" to have outback. I gained 5 lbs in one night. Just can't stop crying and can't shake the feelings of wanting to quit.

I have been fighting for so long and did well for a while, but now...this is the second time I've left mid workout to cry.

The frustration & sadness is overwhelming, & for all the progress I make (going up in reps/weight, smaller clothes) all I see is the fat frumpy wife. All my husband had to do was stop sodas and start working out-40 pounds gone in 4 months. I can't compete, & I know men are just that way, but I honestly don't know if I have any fight left. It seems a lost cause.

Sorry for the rant/vent. I just feel hopeless.

Interesting how your profile picture is exactly what I am watching right now... anyway, I know exactly what depression is.

Your mind is not balanced. You are so one sided you will lead to failure. What you need to do is look at it differently.

I was depressed for 10 years and I was fat because of it. I tried to lose weight many times but always went astray in the past. This time however was completely different. I looked at myself and realized I was overweight because I was depressed. I was determined to kill the depression. How does one do it? You fight, and you fight harder than you ever have, you fight as if you will die if you don't fight. I am fighting the hardest I ever have. I do 1,000 of minutes of exercise a week. I have taken control and regained who I actually am.

So what you need to do is take control. Just because your husband is winning easily at weight loss doesn't mean you cannot. When you quit, is when you lose. So what... you gained 5 lbs? You know you can lose that in a week or two? One WEEK possibility? Would you rather spend one more week dieting or gain another 50 lbs on top of what you are now??? The answer is clear right?

Here is how you get inside your head. After reading this go somewhere alone and think about why you are not happy. Think to yourself, alone. When I did this, I was very mad at myself. I was pissed. How could I let myself be unhappy and fat? You want to be your own hero. You must change yourself and the only person that can do that IS YOU. Sit down and think what will it take to be happy... weight loss? For me, it is exercise and weight loss. So I decided I would never give up. BECAUSE IF YOU WANT SOMETHING DEARLY, YOU WILL ACHIEVE IT.

Do you want it? YES YOU DO.

When I feel I'm tired and I feel hungry, I ask myself, are you quitting??? I stop, and ask myself, OUT LOUD, "ARE YOU QUITTING?" NOOOOOOOOOO, I will not quit until I have my life back.

Anyone can climb out of a hole, the climb might seem impossible but only is if you give up. Time flies and after months, you will look back and smile. Why? Because you will keep losing weight and you will be happy. Be your own hero, because no one else can do it, climb out of the hole and DO IT. FIGHT THE DEPRESSION AND WIN.

getdancing2013

As for something for myself, once I start my second job (family wants a cruise so that's about how we're going to afford it) I will build in a day once a month where I go get a massage or buy myself something small. You're right that I need to do stuff for me. Originally the gym was that - and there are days it feels good, don't get me wrong. Just the last few times...just so frustrated.

If you can handle a second job, it sounds nice for your family to be able to to go on a cruise. If it pushes you beyond what you can handle right now, I strongly advise against it. A vacation away from home is a vacation no matter where it takes place and what it looks like. You need to take care of yourself first, before you can take care of others, just like they say on the airplane "Assist yourself before assisting others."

This would be our first true vacation, I think. All our vacations are spent with our families in Florida because we live so far away, and that's about the only time they can see our kids. So I spent over 3 weeks (I work from home) with my family - mostly refereeing fights, etc , saw his family, and so on. So it'll be hard but not impossible, and we've always wanted to do it.

That's I think part of what's currently wrong right now, too. My folks knew how I was trying to lose weight. Heck my mother has never wasted a phone call where she hasn't commented about how fat I am (even when I was thinner than I am now), how I'm going to lose my husband...and now that he's in shape again, about how come I can't do what he's doing, why am I being lazy about it, how he's going to find someone else, that I look like a monster and I'm deformed, etc. Yeah, I have that THAT mom. So a cruise, at least, would be a vacation where it's just us as a family, and it comes as my oldest graduates from 8th grade.

AglaeaC

As for something for myself, once I start my second job (family wants a cruise so that's about how we're going to afford it) I will build in a day once a month where I go get a massage or buy myself something small. You're right that I need to do stuff for me. Originally the gym was that - and there are days it feels good, don't get me wrong. Just the last few times...just so frustrated.

If you can handle a second job, it sounds nice for your family to be able to to go on a cruise. If it pushes you beyond what you can handle right now, I strongly advise against it. A vacation away from home is a vacation no matter where it takes place and what it looks like. You need to take care of yourself first, before you can take care of others, just like they say on the airplane "Assist yourself before assisting others."

This would be our first true vacation, I think. All our vacations are spent with our families in Florida because we live so far away, and that's about the only time they can see our kids. So I spent over 3 weeks (I work from home) with my family - mostly refereeing fights, etc , saw his family, and so on. So it'll be hard but not impossible, and we've always wanted to do it.

That's I think part of what's currently wrong right now, too. My folks knew how I was trying to lose weight. Heck my mother has never wasted a phone call where she hasn't commented about how fat I am (even when I was thinner than I am now), how I'm going to lose my husband...and now that he's in shape again, about how come I can't do what he's doing, why am I being lazy about it, how he's going to find someone else, that I look like a monster and I'm deformed, etc. Yeah, I have that THAT mom. So a cruise, at least, would be a vacation where it's just us as a family, and it comes as my oldest graduates from 8th grade.

You don't have the obligation to listen to abuse like that. I totally see why you would want to go somewhere else. Earlier I wrote about step 1, step 2, and having only today, so that's still what I primarily would suggest to focus on. Make today day 1

getdancing2013

So incredibly depressed that I literally walked off the track at the gym to go cry. Too frustrated, angry, sad......just failing all over. Sitting here waiting for my husband, who is of course in fantastic shape now, to finish. Nevermind that after a vacation full of sabotage from my family, he decided he "had" to have outback. I gained 5 lbs in one night. Just can't stop crying and can't shake the feelings of wanting to quit.

I have been fighting for so long and did well for a while, but now...this is the second time I've left mid workout to cry.

The frustration & sadness is overwhelming, & for all the progress I make (going up in reps/weight, smaller clothes) all I see is the fat frumpy wife. All my husband had to do was stop sodas and start working out-40 pounds gone in 4 months. I can't compete, & I know men are just that way, but I honestly don't know if I have any fight left. It seems a lost cause.

Sorry for the rant/vent. I just feel hopeless.

Interesting how your profile picture is exactly what I am watching right now... anyway, I know exactly what depression is.

Your mind is not balanced. You are so one sided you will lead to failure. What you need to do is look at it differently.

I was depressed for 10 years and I was fat because of it. I tried to lose weight many times but always went astray in the past. This time however was completely different. I looked at myself and realized I was overweight because I was depressed. I was determined to kill the depression. How does one do it? You fight, and you fight harder than you ever have, you fight as if you will die if you don't fight. I am fighting the hardest I ever have. I do 1,000 of minutes of exercise a week. I have taken control and regained who I actually am.

So what you need to do is take control. Just because your husband is winning easily at weight loss doesn't mean you cannot. When you quit, is when you lose. So what... you gained 5 lbs? You know you can lose that in a week or two? One WEEK possibility? Would you rather spend one more week dieting or gain another 50 lbs on top of what you are now??? The answer is clear right?

Here is how you get inside your head. After reading this go somewhere alone and think about why you are not happy. Think to yourself, alone. When I did this, I was very mad at myself. I was pissed. How could I let myself be unhappy and fat? You want to be your own hero. You must change yourself and the only person that can do that IS YOU. Sit down and think what will it take to be happy... weight loss? For me, it is exercise and weight loss. So I decided I would never give up. BECAUSE IF YOU WANT SOMETHING DEARLY, YOU WILL ACHIEVE IT.

Do you want it? YES YOU DO.

When I feel I'm tired and I feel hungry, I ask myself, are you quitting??? I stop, and ask myself, OUT LOUD, "ARE YOU QUITTING?" NOOOOOOOOOO, I will not quit until I have my life back.

Anyone can climb out of a hole, the climb might seem impossible but only is if you give up. Time flies and after months, you will look back and smile. Why? Because you will keep losing weight and you will be happy. Be your own hero, because no one else can do it, climb out of the hole and DO IT. FIGHT THE DEPRESSION AND WIN.

I love Chef...I was watching Kitchen Nightmares just now...

Thank you thank you for the words. I know I want it...and I don't want to keep using my health issues as excuses. I've even gotten into alternative treatments to stop taking chronic steroids so I don't have meds to deal with. I think my issue is that some of the fight that you describe...I use it up giving to my kids, my parents, my husband, and I save none of it for me. So when I lose it or lose hope it takes a long time to fight back.

That's part of the reason why I posted. I don't have that support at home. I hardly talk to my husband really, and I've given you an insight into my mom so...

Right now I like the idea of setting up my motivation stuff again, but maybe this time putting something on my phone or on the fridge where I can see it plainly instead of logging in to see it.

I need to get the swelling in my legs back down, but I think (and God help me I may need to drink before this) that for tomorrow's workout I'll swim. Mind you, I've gone to a smaller swimsuit size, but my brain still thinks I look like a Blue Whale or something (I'm just a size 14-16 now....I was a 22). I think that'll be better on my joints, and I do love to swim, but I always let how I look dictate getting into the water, which means I never do.

I like the "get my life back" portion. To me I think it's more of what life do I want because I haven't had a "life" since I got married, or even before. Have never been by myself. Then it was all about getting my husband through school. Then I became a mom and it was all about my kid...then the second one came. Now he's finally going to school, and I'm finally going to be in an office again. So now I need to just get over this whole thing and lose the weight....but when I don't see results my brain switches to "self-defeat" mode.

I just need to get my fight back.

ZaCkOX

Changes to your body come from changes to your mental state. Just because you think you look awful doesn't mean you are. I'll give an example, if you did everything in your power to lose weight for weeks and didn't see weight loss, one thing changed. You fought and because you did, you will lose weight rapidly after. If you want to look in the mirror at yourself, look at be grossed out so that you will take it seriously. FIGHT! If you change your mental state you are already winning.

If your knees hurt and exercise is hard, I would switch to something like swimming, walking, and/or stationary bike. You need to build your foundation. Even losing weight from diet alone will make it easier to exercise later.

At first that was all I could do, diet. Then months later I was able to do exercise, more and more. Soon as you drop large amounts of fat, you will have more energy to do things. Your everyday life will get easier. This is why it is not worth quitting. Because winning is just around the corner.

Think positive!

lambchoplewis1

So incredibly depressed that I literally walked off the track at the gym to go cry. Too frustrated, angry, sad......just failing all over. Sitting here waiting for my husband, who is of course in fantastic shape now, to finish. Nevermind that after a vacation full of sabotage from my family, he decided he "had" to have outback. I gained 5 lbs in one night. Just can't stop crying and can't shake the feelings of wanting to quit.

I have been fighting for so long and did well for a while, but now...this is the second time I've left mid workout to cry.

The frustration & sadness is overwhelming, & for all the progress I make (going up in reps/weight, smaller clothes) all I see is the fat frumpy wife. All my husband had to do was stop sodas and start working out-40 pounds gone in 4 months. I can't compete, & I know men are just that way, but I honestly don't know if I have any fight left. It seems a lost cause.

Sorry for the rant/vent. I just feel hopeless.

Interesting how your profile picture is exactly what I am watching right now... anyway, I know exactly what depression is.

Your mind is not balanced. You are so one sided you will lead to failure. What you need to do is look at it differently.

I was depressed for 10 years and I was fat because of it. I tried to lose weight many times but always went astray in the past. This time however was completely different. I looked at myself and realized I was overweight because I was depressed. I was determined to kill the depression. How does one do it? You fight, and you fight harder than you ever have, you fight as if you will die if you don't fight. I am fighting the hardest I ever have. I do 1,000 of minutes of exercise a week. I have taken control and regained who I actually am.

So what you need to do is take control. Just because your husband is winning easily at weight loss doesn't mean you cannot. When you quit, is when you lose. So what... you gained 5 lbs? You know you can lose that in a week or two? One WEEK possibility? Would you rather spend one more week dieting or gain another 50 lbs on top of what you are now??? The answer is clear right?

Here is how you get inside your head. After reading this go somewhere alone and think about why you are not happy. Think to yourself, alone. When I did this, I was very mad at myself. I was pissed. How could I let myself be unhappy and fat? You want to be your own hero. You must change yourself and the only person that can do that IS YOU. Sit down and think what will it take to be happy... weight loss? For me, it is exercise and weight loss. So I decided I would never give up. BECAUSE IF YOU WANT SOMETHING DEARLY, YOU WILL ACHIEVE IT.

Do you want it? YES YOU DO.

When I feel I'm tired and I feel hungry, I ask myself, are you quitting??? I stop, and ask myself, OUT LOUD, "ARE YOU QUITTING?" NOOOOOOOOOO, I will not quit until I have my life back.

Anyone can climb out of a hole, the climb might seem impossible but only is if you give up. Time flies and after months, you will look back and smile. Why? Because you will keep losing weight and you will be happy. Be your own hero, because no one else can do it, climb out of the hole and DO IT. FIGHT THE DEPRESSION AND WIN.

Wow!!!powerful message that I needed to hear!! I lost the weight and have managed over the last year to gain it all back. I am pissed at myself. My issue is drinking wine. I quite two years ago, lost the weight slept great and exercised. I stated with a glass of wine here and there. Now the weight is back. I needed this kick in the $&& to stop the cycle.

Thanks

ZaCkOX

Anytime

No one wants to be in a depression state, it just happens. We should take control soon as we notice. It affects our lives so negatively. It can totally jack the mental well-being of a person.

LULU4178

Thank you for your post. While I was looking for motivational quotes, I found this and it has really helped me. "Being overweight is a challenge. Losing weight is a challenge. Maintaining your weight is a challenge. Pick your challenge."

I have to talk myself into exercising every day. I finally wrote a note to myself about how much better I feel after a workout and that I have never regretted working out, only regretted not working out. I read that letter often.

I also have a-hole for a father-in-law. After 20 years, I no longer speak to him on the the phone and I don't discuss his actions with my husband. I do not visit with him when he is in town. Whatever kind of relationship my husband wants to have with him is fine, but I am out. The world has not stopped turning as far as I can tell. It is very difficult but so what? I am happier and he is still an a-hole.