Really bummed there aren't more supporters for specifics!

oedipa_maas

It's actually worse to have to have your body drastically change than deal with it your whole life honesty. Yet people tend to judge that oh well you've been skinny most of it you're lucky.

Don't put things this way. You have no idea what hurts worse for others. We all hurt together. If people judge, it sucks, but you don't know anything about why someone might not have responded to your post.

The best way to get attention is to keep writing, keep trying, making friendships when you can, responding to others consistently and forming a board presence and a few relationships.

The really unpleasant way of getting attention is to try and shame people for things they may or may not have been feeling/doing/paying attention to.

You don't know what's actually worse for anyone. Just be you without the chastisement, and you will do well.

hookilau

Again thank you for your remarks to the recent posters. It was not an odd remark if you read: my friends who have been overweight all their life really didn't mind not had any comments in MY instance. Yet it's harder when you've been skinny and randomly you're not?! So I asked my friend before I responded so I wasn't rude and she said I'm 285 and she said lowest was 260. All her life? Yes. Asked her if she would have been thin then went to 285 how she would feel: exact statement "probably not much. I was bigger so if I was 120 and went up to 260 I would've freaked out. But I didn't cause I was always around that size it wasn't a freak out." So thank you I took this from an actual convo. That my experience of this, so please don't be rude that your opinion doesn't matches theirs. I was speaking based off MY experience. Not yours. so I can't have a sense of humor about being unhappy and disgusted.

As far as this conversation you're talking about here....how am I supposed to know about how this went down? :laugh:

I responded to you, quoting you, from your original post. I'm not trying to argue with you, but this is the internet, & all people have to go on is what you've typed. I don't know anything about you, or the conversations you've had with your friends etc.

I would put to you this though, your one heavy friend does not speak for all or even most heavy people. :blushing:

tiptoethruthetulips

I just looked at your post to see if I had read it, I hadn't and I don't recall clicking on it...but if I had I would not have read it. I turn off when faced with a big block of words.

sammixbear

Oedipa - completely understand this and thank you for that. However I thought this was a place for personal outlook for weight loas. I'm really disappointed that I have to monitor how I feel because others can't take what someone else said! I didn't even say this as someone who was a different size their whole life. I feel like earlier posters didn't read enough or continue reading to educate themselves. Someone like hookilau (sorry about the punctuation it's the iphone I'm used to a keyboard!) she actually reread my explanation and tried to help.


No one goes through the same things. But there are people on here that have complete disregard to people who are hurting and I'm reading my post over and over there is nothing mean or offensive. I made one remark Not many liked, about my friends account and got ridiculed. This was someone else's Opinion please remember.

golferd

Stay focused on your goal. The first thing you have to realize is the goal is for you. You can build a team of support, but you have to put the effort in.

Your body is broken, experiment with different things or maybe refocus. Maybe take up lifting and turn fat to muscle vs all cardio. I have no idea what your doing for 2 hours, all I can take from your post is it is not working.

Some lose weight easily, a simple calculation and weight falls off. Others struggle regardless of effort. This is life. Every morning when you wake up only 3 things will happen: ok day, crappy day, or great day. You can choose how you want to look at them.

You can do this

hookilau

(sorry about the punctuation it's the iphone I'm used to a keyboard!)

that explains a LOT :laugh:

These boards tend to move fast & yes, lots of people don't actually read but rather skim posts.
Don't take it personally.

Now that you've got the lay of the land, there are still a couple of steps you'll need to take to lose.

Hashi's aside for now, to lose weight, you will need to figure out your maintenance calories first.
Here's a good site for you to plug in your metrics to give you an estimate of your TDEE (total daily energy expenditure)

http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/

I googled a few different TDEE calculators to get an average arbitrary calorie allowance.

Once you figure out your TDEE, take 20% off (this will be your deficit).

Eat at that amount for 2-3 weeks, if no weight loss, this is actually your maintenance allowance.
Decrease by a couple of hundred calories.

If weight loss of 1-2#'s occur, this is your deficit & a good place to be.

If you lose more than 1-2 #'s a week, & your hungry, workouts are suffering, cranky, etc. then your deficit may be too large...increase a couple of hundred calories.

Adjust as needed.

Rinse. Lather. Repeat.
:drinker:

sammixbear

Thank you golferd! I spent about 45 min to 1 hour cardio and I do weight training. Most troubling issue is I'm not losing weight nor am I gaining muscle. I did basic shoulder and back exercises and torn the ligaments in my shoulder. I'm worried why can't I build muscle? I was a machine in high school lol

sammixbear

Thanks hookilau )))

golferd

Bodybeast is on sale thru beachbody. Lift heavy and continue to add weight. You will build if you go heavy. You should be using dumbbells over 20lbs for many exercises. The last ones you want the shakes.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I am fairly new and won't talk anyone's ear off but posted an intro and only one kind person responded. I don't know if maybe cause 157 lbs is not enough or what people think cause I was always 114-118 that people have some sort of issue. I am hoping others can blog and talk about being skinny all their life and now dealings with an unusual struggle. Whether you were overweight all your life or just now, it still hurts. Just wish others were as sensitive to this. It's actually worse to have to have your body drastically change than deal with it your whole life honesty. Yet people tend to judge that oh well you've been skinny most of it you're lucky. No. Anyone who has dealt with this I'd please appreciate stories and how you worked thru medical issues life issues Etc to get back to your high school weight. Thank you I appreciate it

I have read this several times and have no idea what you are saying... I think you are implying that nobody responded to you because you haven't got a lot of weight to lose or that you've been thin all your life. Or maybe don't understand your health issue?

Let me explain that people didn't respond because they didn't see your post.

That's it.

fastfoodietofitcutie

Try not to focus so much on what you looked like and did in high school. Your body is not made to function as it did in high school 20 years later.

mfp2014mfp

I dont read many intro posts, most of the people on my friends list are from groups where I have found people who share a mutual interest with me. It may be unwise to assume that your lack of response is due to the amount of weight you have to lose. My friends list is very varied, I like it that way, it's a great range of experience.

I went back and had a look at your post and I would not have read it mainly due to the wall of text, I read at a PC all day and a block of text like that is very hard on my eyes. So yeah I'll support whoever. but pretty much if it's a block of text my eyes glaze straight over and I move on :flowerforyou:

Hello! So I joined MFP a few years ago and sort of got discouraged so I stopped using it. However I find myself googling and reading posts from others all the time so I figured I'd post and see if anyone has any great advice. I go through ups and downs emotionally just cause I really don't know what is going on with me. I'll try to keep this short. My whole life I've been pretty regular but when I got into high school and college I was especially in good shape. I was a competitive cheerleader and was 5'2" and about 118 lbs. went to college and stayed thin probably cause I continued to work out and consumed all my calories through alcoholic drinks lol. I've always been lucky. I are mcdonalds del taco you name it whatever I wanted my whole life and never gained. Let's fast forward to 24 years old (meanwhile at age 20 I grew to 5'6"). I had been on the depo shot birth control since I was 16, another thing that kept me skinny which No one could believe cause it's usually the opposite. After being on it for 8 years the doctors took me off it although I begged them not to. 1. Because I have too much estrogen and have endometriosis which landed me in the ER every month in pain which is why I got on the BC to begin with to get rid of my cycle. Well, within 6 months of getting of the shot, my estrogen levels went insane and although exercising SEVEN days a week, I shot up to 160. Additionally I found out I got hashimotos. I begged them to put me back on the depo thinking it would reverse this but nope, one year later I am now 157. I exercise 5-6 days a week two hours or more a day (cardio lots of weight lifting, all paleo diet except good carbs sometimes before a hardcore workout) and three lbs lost. I can't even begin to tell you how depressing it is to work so hard and feel so tired and fatigued and have no results. And I'm not just going by lbs, inches lost and pant sizes have not changed either. I think it's really upsetting me mainly because I went through life being a size 2 and at 26 I feel gross and just weird in my own body. My chest size went from an A to a C which bothers me the most-- I've always been very happy to be flat chested and can't even wear cute shirts anymore. I'm being tested monthly for thyroid because my doctors have no idea what's wrong and I'm about to go get liposuction and a breast reduction if things don't change soon. Sorry for being a downer but I thought there might be others out there that can help and support and understand what it's like. this sounds so vein but it's more that I feel sick when I see myself and just being in my own skin. could use some encouragement, a "don't give up!" Attitude and hope that others out there understand having a mystery medical condition that won't let you lose any weight !

strassenkoenigin

I tend to agree a little bit with you. So many people nowadays are obese and overweight their whole life that they do not even know what an ideal weight feels like.
I think it is the fault of our food industry, advertising and availability of junk food 24/7. We are virtually trained from childhood to eat food which is bad for us. I am also frustrated that all these weight loss shows like the Biggest loser and Extreme weight loss concentrate only on people who are morbidly obese.
It just shows that in our society overweight is getting to be the norm, not the exception. I wish one of the weight loss gurus would take on people who are trying to get to their ideal weight and are only 20 or 30 pounds away from it and teach them how to keep it up.
We live in a tabloid world of extremes. If you are morbidly obese, addicted to drugs, alcohol or sex, you make the headlines and get help. If you are just an average Jane or Joe nobody cares about your struggles.

americangirlok

I don't know that people who were at a "skinny' weight and then drastically aren't or people who've been "fat" all their lives have it "worse." There's no way to know that. Like what's an 8 on your pain scale may be a 3 on mine, it's all a matter of perspective and I can't really judge you for that or call you a wimp or anything b/c I don't really KNOW. YOUR experience is the only one you can speak to w/ any real certainty.

Now we can speculate who has it worse, but most of don't want to play the "oh yeah well I have it worse b/c...." game. And I'm not saying the OP meant to go there, but for right or wrong that's how it read. I do know that there are things that my recently overweight friends will never understand that only my "always overweight friends" get- but it goes the other way too. And the older I get the more I realize that "pretty, skinny" girls have problems too- No one has a monopoly on that!

donald149

Sometimes 3-4 threads may come in at the same time so it can easily get pushed to the bottom. I'd highly recommend logging your food intake. You're working out lots so it's possible you're not eating enough or the foods you're eating are sabotaging your efforts. Either way great job sticking with the workouts. That's usually the part!

oedipa_maas

Oedipa - completely understand this and thank you for that. However I thought this was a place for personal outlook for weight loas. I'm really disappointed that I have to monitor how I feel because others can't take what someone else said! I didn't even say this as someone who was a different size their whole life. I feel like earlier posters didn't read enough or continue reading to educate themselves. Someone like hookilau (sorry about the punctuation it's the iphone I'm used to a keyboard!) she actually reread my explanation and tried to help.


No one goes through the same things. But there are people on here that have complete disregard to people who are hurting and I'm reading my post over and over there is nothing mean or offensive. I made one remark Not many liked, about my friends account and got ridiculed. This was someone else's Opinion please remember.

I do understand how you feel. This really still is a place for personal outlook--you just have to be willing to deal with whatever you get when you speak out loud. I think people confuse "I have to monitor myself because others can't take what someone else said" with the greater truth that you don't have to monitor anything you say -- you just have to be able to roll with whatever you get. Frankly, you seem to be pretty good at it! You respond, tell your piece of it, and others do the same. Even if you aren't agreed with, or get push back, it can have value. And those who really irk you--practice ignoring them. A lot of peace of mind in that. Good luck!

Lemongrab13

I understand you. But I feel like currently there's A LOT of posts being fired off so unless it's a game thread or some dramatic troll thread, then yours will get pushed into the internet abyss.
I'm finding it hard making friends here now. I was on here last year but then I was offline for 8 months and deleted my account. But back then I made bunches of friends quickly, now I can't even get anyone to talk to me :laugh:

BinaryPulsar

A lot of people don't see or don't respond to intro posts. It takes time to form some friendships. There are also groups for: "Not that heavy girls", etc.

I joined here with no weight to lose. I lost a few pounds, lifted weights, counted calories/macros/nutrients. People are here for all kinds of reasons.

Best of luck to you settling into the community and reaching your goals.

jkal1979

If you are posting looking for people with the same condition as you, put that in the title of your post. It will help it stand out more. A lot of times on the Introduce Yourself forum most posts have the same title (New here, sorta new here, etc) and easily get lost or skipped over.

Be patient about people responding, especially if you are posting during the evening. Post earlier to make sure that people in different time zones are able to see it as well. If you want to move it up on the board, just reply to your own post with "bump" to move it to the top if you are not getting replies.

Also, keep your message short and sweet if possible.

wheird

I haven't had enough caffeine for a PPPM post.