I lost my father today.

luluinca

I read your story and remembered a nurse who helped me through a very rough night. I have a very attentive family but they were all at home and asleep and she literally sat with me and brought other nurses in to ice me down and waited until my fever broke and I managed to fall asleep...................and it was hours. Thinking of your dad being alone like that I would suggest you pay that experience forward and help your future patients through their rough nights. Do it for your dad.

Don't feel guilty, it was his behavior that caused the rift. Give yourself some credit for having a happy and healthy life and pass those lessons on.

Serah87

I'm sorry.....praying for you and family.

irishseven

Dear Sweetheart.....Cry, and cry and cry...and know you will always love your dad, because that is what our humanity has in our hearts.. It is too soon to worry about tomorrows, just hold your son and husband and allow them to help you. Tomorrow will come and you will be okay. Good Lord above you have love in your life,that is where you start to heal. You might not of been blessed with a perfect dad, but you have a family that wants you to be a strong and wonderful mom and wife, so let those relationships guide your heart. You can't control your past with your dad but remember to not judge him too hard now, because others hurt him too. The good life would always be to have a strong mom and dad, and you can give your son that wonderful life now. So cry for your loss and know with each new morning you can hug your baby and give him a loving mommy. You really have been BLESSED, just reach for their hands to hold ! Stay strong!

PetulantOne

I'm so sorry....:brokenheart:

stuart160

There really aren't any words that I can imagine saying to help, I am deeply sorry, not only for the loss of your father, but for suddenness of the loss that deprived you of the opportunity to reestablish the bond you shared as a child. I don't know what your spiritual beliefs are but perhaps you can take comfort in the fact that your words were the last he heard and you got to tell him what you needed and trust that he did hear those words. Also know that he is now able to see beyond hurt, pain, and recrimination and realize that his daughter did love him so much that she ensured she got to tell him the things he needed to hear at the end.

zodan1976

Words cannot express what I am really feeling for you. I have said a prayer for you, your fathers soul and your family. I am glad you were able to get to talk to him before he passed not only for him but for you too. He had to have known of your love for him. This really touches me simply because I haven't spoken to my dad in over a year. our stories are very similar in that regard. I hope that you can find some relief and comfort in your MFP family. "hugs to you"

banjobraids

This really hit me because my father is in a coma right now due to going through DTs. I have a very similar relationship with him as you did with yours, except I went without talking to him for 8 years and in the last 10 have managed to keep somewhat in touch. He's in a coma because he drank himself there and while there's a part of me that is so angry and feels no sympathy because of this, there's another part that is broken up because he's my dad and we had some moments of love between us over the course of my life. I just drove to Virginia from Georgia to sit by his bed for a few days while he thrashes and has no idea anyone is there. My stepmother saw me eating licorice--I always get it when I'm driving a long distance, I don't know why. She goes, "Oh, your dad always eats that, but only when he's driving a long way." I'm sorry they didn't give you the option to go see him, you deserved to be able to see him one last time. I firmly believe he heard you speaking somewhere in his mind and heart. You won't get over his death, but it will get easier. People told me that when my mother died and it's true. If all else fails, live well because that's the best revenge. Sending you hugs. Thank you for sharing your story!

auntiemsgr8

I am very sorry for your loss

14 years ago I almost lost my father due to cancer. He was living in Arkansas and I in Maryland. We were close and I thank God every day for the neighbor who called 911 when he thought something wasn't right and for the 11 months my Dad got to live with me fighting his cancer every day.

I don't say that to be unkind. My oldest sister had cut off communication with him after my parents divorce. She had not seen or spoken to him in over 20 years. Even so, my Father never stopped loving his first child. I had been told over the years of how he always spoke of all three of his children with the same love and pride for all three. I am certain your Father never stopped loving you either.

Try to take comfort in knowing you got to speak to him and tell him everything you wanted him to know. I take care of people for a living, many at the end of ones life, and have seen many families in grief. You need to take time with your husband and son to grieve for your father. Know that he will always be watching over the three of you and sharing all the good and bad that comes with living. As much as you wish you could have been there when he passed it was Gods plan for you not to be.

You will soon be taking care of patients yourself. Some may be in similar situations to you. Comfort them as best you can and know that at some time a fellow Nurse was doing the same for your father.

For now, cry, pray and remember that your Father loved you with all his heart.

You have my deepest sympathies. May God lay his hand upon you and your family at this dark time and bring you peace and comfort.

Graelwyn75

I am so sorry. I have had a similar situation with my parents, in terms of the badmouthing of one another...me being piggy in the middle. Both my mother and brother ceased all contact with my father because of his negativity. I chose to try and stay in some sort of contact because of my fear of how I would feel if he died and I had not maintained contact.

I really hope you treat yourself kindly, and I am sure your words will have reached him, one way or another.
I am also sure that he, being your dad, would not wish you to feel any guilt or ill feelings towards yourself.

1horsetown

I'm sorry for your loss.

Keep in mind that your dad made choices for himself. It sounds like he spent years pushing people away and, in the end, he reaped what he had sown. You never could change who he was.

He had every opportunity to look you up and mend the holes, but he chose not to. You made efforts to reach out---he didn't reach back.

Be sad (for a while), but be sad that he pushed you away instead of pulling you closer.

He reaped what he sowed.

margannmks

Im so sorry . Eat,drink, cry ,scream whatever you need to do for you. As someone told me after i lost somone i loved dearly " the hole in your heart will never go away,but i promise you it will get smaller"

coopieclan

I am so sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry you didn't see your Dad but you did get to tell him your feelings and give him what he needed for him to pass in peace. You got the chance to tell him what you needed to say. You gave him your love!

You will probably never know why his family never notified you about how critical he was. But closure comes in different ways. Your phone call was wonderful and needed for both of you.

Remember the times when you were his little princess. Those were precious times and deserve remembering. Don't dwell on the negative because you did nothing wrong. I'm sure he never meant to hurt you and that he missed you too. People are strange about their feelings. Sometimes for whatever reason we spend so much time apart it can become too hard to reconnect. That doesn't mean he never thought of you. I'm sure you were always in his heart.

Rest and be in peace knowing you did all you could to relay your love to him.

Be sad for your loss and let others console you but remember you are strong. Time heals all wounds.

God bless you and your family during this very sad time.

marricurt

Oh sweetheart.... Words fail me. Know that you are loved and that you have people all over the world thinking of you and your family right now. May you find some comfort and peace with your husband, son and your family. We are thinking of you. X

allaboutthecake

So sorry for your loss. Professionals believe that hearing is the last of the 5-senses to remain while one is dying. Please take comfort knowing that your father probably really DID hear the words you said and with that, he was able to let go of his earthly hold. Men are a proud people and more than likely he waited for everyone to leave so he could go quietly. Hearing your words were probably his "bucket list" and with that he was able to let go.
God bless you sweetie.

kgeyser

I am so sorry.

skippygirlsmom

I'm so sorry - you are in my prayers.

perseverance14

I am so sorry for your loss...it is hard not to be there, I understand what that feels like, but I do believe he heard you, and would want you to carry on an be happy, take care of your family and his grandson.

Take time to grieve and forget about diet for now.

Alluminati

I'm sorry for your heartbreaking loss.

_HeartsOnFire_

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Sending you love and hugs.



I'm sure he heard you and he knew you loved him. He knows your heart will always be with him and his with you.

rollng_thundr

There is no time limit or rules governing the grieving process, take all the time you need.

I am on the other end of the situation you described. Fortunately, I am able to keep my wits about me. I have never bad-mouthed my daughter's mom and even been supportive. I have always taught her to respect her mom, even though they have a really contentious relationship. But that still hasn't brought us as close as I'd like. It makes me sad.

Reading your story has inspired me to keep trying, no matter the cost. That while all forces I face are fighting against me, the effort is worth it for my daughter.

I know there's not one word I can say to you that can ease the pain and feeling of emptiness you are experiencing.

But know this, your words may keep me from a similar fate...

Find peace. God bless you.