The Husband drives me crazy!!!!!!

ambercole
ambercole Posts: 426
edited September 22 in Food and Nutrition
Why is it that if we have "REAL" food ( as in healthy food that you have to actually cook or prepare) in the house, my husband says that there is NOTHING to eat and walks around and pouts. We had this conversation again this morning. I even took items out of the cabinet and fridge and put them together to show him what he could make. All I got was ah "UGHHH....."! I swear if it's not Dr Pepper and Hot Pockets, he's not happy. I've gotten to the point after years of trying to get him to be healthy with me that I don't even care what he eats anymore, but the problem is that it is so freakin' expensive to have to try and buy all the healthy food that I eat and then turn around and have to re-grocery shop for him and my son. It's too much money! Not to mention having to cook 2 different meals everytime I cook. If i cook a healthy meal he will eat it but he moans and groans the ENTIRE time. He does support me in my wanting to be healthy but he just says that he doesn't want to have to do it too. Do any of you have this same issue?
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Replies

  • ZebraHead
    ZebraHead Posts: 15,207 Member
    You need to open a big can of STFU on him! That would be my solution. :bigsmile:

    EDIT: I should add that I do almost all the cooking, and my wife and I are on MFP together (she started first). We enjoy all of our meals together and get excitted when we find something new and different. My teenage son will join in, but I know when to let him have his pizza, burritos, or pasta... :wink:
  • Ashley_Panda
    Ashley_Panda Posts: 1,404 Member
    Tell him if it's that big of a problem, he can go grocery shop for himself and cook his own meals. :)
  • Melis25Fit
    Melis25Fit Posts: 811 Member
    Girl, I hear ya! Mine is always like, "There's you're food, but nothing for me!" DUDE! Eat what I eat! Have a salad! Have some chicken and steamed veggies! It's not going to kill you. But this is what I get -- " I don't feel like eating that!" Really? Food is food, and this is at least good for you! I'm about to boycott making him whatever he wants. But I know he won't eat what I cook.

    Girl, I hear ya. I'm about ready to make him cook his own meal or do the grocery shopping- both of which he does not like to do! Maybe that will solve it?!
  • amelia_atlantic
    amelia_atlantic Posts: 926 Member
    You need to open a big can of STFU on him! That would be my solution. :bigsmile:

    HAHA! I Second that! Tell him if he doesn't like, here's a box of Hamburger Helper. After eating dog food, he'll come around! :wink:
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
    Sounds like my dad. when we were younger he would look at the container and if it sad sugare free, fat free, etc etc he would moan and say he didnt like it. He also wouldnt drink organic milk.

    my mom told me last week she dumped organic milk into a "regular" milk carton and said my dad was asking why the milk tasted so much better. was it a new brand??

    Some Men.
  • Vonnie2006
    Vonnie2006 Posts: 246 Member
    Hit him in the pocket. Show him exactly how much it costs to grocery shop Twice.
  • The way it works in our house is I will cook the meal and you can either eat it or make something yourself. I would never make 2 seperate meals! Teach your son early to eat what's prepared. That's how my parents did it - I had to try a little bit of everything and if I still didn't like it, I could make myself a PB&J sandwich - those were the only 2 options in our home.

    If my husband wants something in particular it's up to him to write it on the grocery list and I'll get it the next time I go shopping. It takes a lot to plan, prepare and feed a whole family. If he wants to be unhealthy, you can't do much to stop him, but don't let him take your son down with him!
  • Pril2000
    Pril2000 Posts: 254 Member
    Dude. I can totally relate. My fiance just started Atkins about a month ago. I hate low carb diets. They are so restrictive. I can control my portions, but he can't so he needs the structure to help him lose weight. This means that I have to cook low carb dinners for him and then try to add a potato or something to it to make it not terribly bland and boring for me. Usually I end up eating some soup or chicken and veggies while I'm cooking his chicken and specific low carb vegetables. The thing is, he can't even eat every kind of vegetable. I have to check the list to see how many carbs everything has before I plan dinner. If there's protein and veg in the fridge, I consider him covered but he'll come home from work at 11 pm and want chicken wings or he'll say, "I'll just drink a protein shake" because it's easier and then I'm all "I spent an hour making you dinner that I won't eat and you're going to have a protein shake?!"

    It's an uphill battle to find a balance, but at least we're both losing weight. Lol
  • Girl, I hear ya! Mine is always like, "There's you're food, but nothing for me!"

    Hahahahahaha!!!! Mine said that EXACT same thing this morning!
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    lol that's a good solution STFU and make it your damn self then...and while you're at it go and do your own grocery shopping...I found the statistics for childhood diabetes while I was at it. Because our son eats like his dad, so they're both grossly unhealthy right now. When my fiance is away at work he eats really well, they don't even have a chocolate bar anywhere near the camp...so when he comes home he gorges on take out and munchies...it's rather irritating because while he's gone i'm eating fish and brown rice, etc...but now that he notices i'm losing a substantial amount of weight, he figures he should too, so here's to hoping he changes his lifestyle.
  • You need to open a big can of STFU on him! That would be my solution. :bigsmile:

    HAHA! I Second that! Tell him if he doesn't like, here's a box of Hamburger Helper. After eating dog food, he'll come around! :wink:

    Only problem with that is that he would be completely satisfied with Hamburger Helper! Give him that and a loaf of white bread and a gallon of sweet tea and he'd be in heaven! UGHHH......
  • jrich1
    jrich1 Posts: 2,408 Member
    Buy healthy food, he gets hungry enough he will eat.

    You might also talk to him and try to find some foods he might like and try to get him to eat heathier that way, or find foods he likes and make them more heathy, might help
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
    We shop twice a month. My family grocery shops together. Except for fresh produce and milk, if it wasn't purchased on the day we went shopping, everyone has to wait until next shopping safari. We are very good at making the grocery list.

    If your husband isn't willing to shop together and deal with a list, then I say take ZH's advice and get him a nice steaming mug of STFU.
  • kpopa
    kpopa Posts: 515 Member
    Why on EARTH would you make 2 dinners!? I would put a stop to that ASAP! I agree with the pb&j comment.
  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,024 Member
    Tell him to cook for himself then! I could picture me expecting my wife to make two dinners. She would, one for her and one to feed to the EMT there to treat my head wound. :laugh:


    I actually have quite the opposite, my wife is VERY supportive of eating better dinners but she always has to have a bag of chips or other crap in the house. We did find a compromise though, she only gets chips I do not like so I am not tempted to dig into them.
  • That is exactly what my wife says. I usually do not complain, but some things I really hate. On a night I want sloppy joe and she makes plain chicken I complain, but I still eat it. The kictchen is her command, and I eat by her sufference.
  • Yeh, I definitely wouldn't cook two meals. I'd have to say "I cooked. From scratch. Non-boxed dinner. It was an effort. And I'm not making another one. If you don't want this you can feel free to cook something else." If he doesn't like the food in the house he can go grocery shopping with you to pick out his crap food. But you don't cook a family meal and then he tells you no, make me something else. Is he frickin' five years old? This is my uncle in a nutshell. He will gripe and complain about most food - he's a pickier eater than kids. Maybe you can find low-calorie versions of food he likes (I'm assuming spaghetti and stuff that picky men like)? They have ways to sneak veggies into casseroles and such. It'd be a shame to have to do that for an adult, but it might be good for your son as well. But if he still won't eat it, then he can cook his own. I definitely learned the "This is what I'm cooking and unless you want to pull your weight and cook, you'll eat it." from my mom. She tried to cater to what people liked, but after that - forget ya if you're complainin'.
  • Gogo76
    Gogo76 Posts: 581
    I swear if it's not Dr Pepper and Hot Pockets, he's not happy.

    This sounds just like my hubby!! Only he is a Mt. Dew drinker. I think honestly with my hubs it is the laziness factor. He doesn't want to have to cook himself something. If it can't be nuked, he doesn't want to mess with it. If I make a meal, he will eat it and he will eat all the leftovers too, but if involves multiple ingredients to put together, he says we don't have anything to eat.
  • Hit him in the pocket. Show him exactly how much it costs to grocery shop Twice.

    This and the STFU comment are EXACTLY how I see it.

    My husband didn't eat very well when we first got together and I've always loved cooking meats and veggies. After tasting my veggies and all the different spices that I use and try and EVERYTHING I cook is usually an experiment-HE ends up loving it. At first he would never admit to it, but now he pretty much likes EVERY thing I cook. SO as far as meals are concerned. We all eat together and the the same thing now- even the kids. I've always REFUSED to cook two meals for any of them. BUT snacks are different. I get my snacks, they get theirs. Usually they eat mine AND theirs. lololol. BUT.
  • HazelDiva1913
    HazelDiva1913 Posts: 194 Member
    girrrrrl you aint never lied...this happens in my house daily...we have all the food in the world (healthy food that is) but my partner is always saying theres no food in here or nothing that she wants to eat blah blah blah so we end up going out or fast food when theres food here...wahts up w that ?
  • MisdemeanorM
    MisdemeanorM Posts: 3,493 Member
    My hubby will eat what I cook, since it's only like 3 times a week, but he's usually fast food or spaghetti-os or chips and salsa or something. Occasionally I will pick up some chips for him when I shop, but for the most part i shop for me and cooking when I shop and if he wants junk he just goes and gets his own at the grocery. (It drives me more nuts that he won't stick to a budget than what he is actually buying.) He has his gallon of 2% and we have a skim. I put less cheese on my serving, or more likely, he adds more to his. :) I let him butter the garlic toast then go back and scrap the butter off my pieces but leave his how he wants it. If I'm having salad, I'll make sure there is a side too not ONLY salad because odds are he will eat just a side salad. We usually sort of joint plan dinner when we're (usually I'm) cooking... ie we agree on "pasta" or "chicken bake" then I decide what is the healthiest way I can make it for me, but often I will make a side that I won't eat - like stuffing or something - because the boys like it, but I stick to the veggie and meat. There is not a chance in hell I would cook two meals because the kid or hubby did not like what was on the menu. Next time he grumbles stab him the face with a fork. See if he does it again.
  • jhandley
    jhandley Posts: 118
    I'm lucky in the aspect that my BF will eat whatever is put in front of him! lol

    Our kids are coming around to it, they don't mind it they just want more to eat.

    They have been fine from switching from hamburger to ground turkey, whole wheat pasta, fat free milk, etc.

    At one point or another they'll either give in or he'll go hungry and I highly doubt he'll go hungry!

    We ended up having to tell the girls to lay off the healthy snacks cus they were mine for my lunch and stuff, I'd go to pack my lunch and my 100 calorie snacks were gone! lol
  • YES!!!! SAme issues!!!!!! I feel your pain!!!!! :grumble: :mad:
  • MisdemeanorM
    MisdemeanorM Posts: 3,493 Member
    I have to check the list to see how many carbs everything has before I plan dinner. If there's protein and veg in the fridge, I consider him covered but he'll come home from work at 11 pm and want chicken wings or he'll say, "I'll just drink a protein shake" because it's easier and then I'm all "I spent an hour making you dinner that I won't eat and you're going to have a protein shake?!"

    I'd leave the meal planning to him! Maybe you can cook it, but he can plan it out! Otherwise, let him cook his own!
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
    Why is it that if we have "REAL" food ( as in healthy food that you have to actually cook or prepare) in the house, my husband says that there is NOTHING to eat and walks around and pouts. We had this conversation again this morning. I even took items out of the cabinet and fridge and put them together to show him what he could make. All I got was ah "UGHHH....."! I swear if it's not Dr Pepper and Hot Pockets, he's not happy. I've gotten to the point after years of trying to get him to be healthy with me that I don't even care what he eats anymore, but the problem is that it is so freakin' expensive to have to try and buy all the healthy food that I eat and then turn around and have to re-grocery shop for him and my son. It's too much money! Not to mention having to cook 2 different meals everytime I cook. If i cook a healthy meal he will eat it but he moans and groans the ENTIRE time. He does support me in my wanting to be healthy but he just says that he doesn't want to have to do it too. Do any of you have this same issue?

    when I was married to my ex husband I had to cook three different meals every night....exhausting...My ex was never there for me....he never supported my want to be thinner...SO you know i know this isn't your case and i hope it isnt but i ended up divorcing him because he started cheating on me with someone who he worked out with............Nip it in the butt tell him this is important to you..being married is supporting your spouse. if he doesnt want to eat your food make him get his own food.
  • kmtetour
    kmtetour Posts: 300 Member
    My husband happens to work next door to an Aldi, so he frequently goes in and buys their version of Lean Pockets and Doritos to eat when I'm not around. If I cook, he'll eat it, but he also suggests fast food ALL THE TIME! I've had to go through the nutrition info of all of his favorite places to find stuff I can eat without going over, or fend for myself; and I really hate cooking for one. Those are the nights I eat cottage cheese and fruit for dinner. I'm honestly concerned about raising kids with him wanting junk all the time.

    And the really sad part? He weighs less than he did in high school and is 3-4 inches taller. I hate that!
  • jsecret
    jsecret Posts: 606 Member
    I'm right there with you. My husband will not eat fruits or vegetables at all. He insists on living on soda and pizza pretty much. or mozzerella bites, hot pockets (won't touch lean pockets with a ten foot pole!), etc.

    It gets tiring since all his food has to be microwaveable pretty much and even at dinner I have to make two seperate meals, and put it on his plate, and serve it to him at the coffee table. I can even be in the middle of doing something and he will ask me to stop and go get him a soda out of the fridge... seriously???

    Last night I had leftovers and a salad and then had to make my son something to eat and then my husband wanted me to make him a pizza. A turn the oven on, stick the pizza in, wait for the beep, take it out and eat it kind of pizza which he could not, for reasons I'm obviously clueless on, do that himself so I cleaned the ENTIRE house for my sons bday, did dog and horse chores outside, put together our new mailbox, decorated the house for the party, carried a ton of boxes downstairs (which he said he'd do DAYS ago but I got tired of looking at), made all 3 dinners, and after working an 8 hr day... finally made it to bed around midnight just for the alarm to go off at 5am.

    *sigh* men.
  • Since we have been married I have been tyring to get my husband to control his eating habits. The man eats enough for 3 people at one time! He went to the dr recently and found out he has high cholesterol and has been put on a low sodium/fat/cholesterol diet. It killed him the first few weeks. He is doing better with it now but he still has problems with HOW MUCH he eats. He has cut back some but to me it is not enough. I guess we will see when he goes to the dr again in a few weeks.

    For example I had 3 pieces of battered fish in the freezer that needed to be eaten. I was not that hungry so I thought that will be enough for him and my son who is five to eat. (I also made reduced fat mac and cheese and baked beans.) He comes in from work and is like "that is ALL we are having? Man I am going to be STUFFED after eating that," etc. HELLO to any normal person 2 pieces of fish is PLENTY!!!!! To say I was pissed in putting it mildly. So I pull out 2 pieces of frozen tilapia and put inthe sink to thaw. Of course then he comes in and apologizes and is like well you don't have to fix any more fish. too late now a**hole it is already dethawed.
  • MisdemeanorM
    MisdemeanorM Posts: 3,493 Member
    I also don't try to STOP him from having his junk food around. He's never going to eat as healthy as I do, though I hope he will lose weight since he's pushing obese, but thinks he's not "too bad". But he eats his hot pocket snacks, and beef jerkey, and other things, but I would TOTALLY put the foot down on him whining like a baby about what we're having for dinner. I don't make things I know he doesn't like or expect him to have just a chicken salad or something, but i will sneak in 1/2 and 1/2 wheat pasta (it also would not be a big deal for me to make 2 pots of pasta, and one of sauce, or leave the pasta meat on the side so they can add it and I can opt out...). Like i said though, if we're having baked chicken and veggies, not a chance in hell I'm grilling up a hamburger or microwaving up a hot pocket for him on the side! My son also will eat what we're having or if he really does not like it he can have a PBJ.
  • I'm right there with you. My husband will not eat fruits or vegetables at all. He insists on living on soda and pizza pretty much. or mozzerella bites, hot pockets (won't touch lean pockets with a ten foot pole!), etc.

    It gets tiring since all his food has to be microwaveable pretty much and even at dinner I have to make two seperate meals, and put it on his plate, and serve it to him at the coffee table. I can even be in the middle of doing something and he will ask me to stop and go get him a soda out of the fridge... seriously???

    Last night I had leftovers and a salad and then had to make my son something to eat and then my husband wanted me to make him a pizza. A turn the oven on, stick the pizza in, wait for the beep, take it out and eat it kind of pizza which he could not, for reasons I'm obviously clueless on, do that himself so I cleaned the ENTIRE house for my sons bday, did dog and horse chores outside, put together our new mailbox, decorated the house for the party, carried a ton of boxes downstairs (which he said he'd do DAYS ago but I got tired of looking at), made all 3 dinners, and after working an 8 hr day... finally made it to bed around midnight just for the alarm to go off at 5am.

    *sigh* men.

    OMG, does he think you're his mom? I would put a stop to this craziness.

    "Get me a soda."

    "Nope."

    "Why not?"

    "Because there is nothing physically or mentally impairing you from making your own trip to the fridge for your own soda."

    When I see posts like this I wonder what he actually DOES do and why no one has smacked him yet.
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