The Husband drives me crazy!!!!!!

Darkling

My kids' mom does this. I won't let her go grocery shopping. Really pisses me off because she knows I have crap for willpower. and she buys oreos, reeses, etc. I just need to move me and the kids out already... dang, got me ranting.

asltiffm

I feel for you! I have the same problem. Even when I'm not on "diet", I still eat fairly healthy and he literally says, "I'm not eating that, it's healthy". It drives me so crazy! But I have figured out a way to deal with it. I ask him if there's anything he wants to eat that week, or what he wants me to buy for him when I go grocery shopping. Usually the only thing he tells me he needs is ramen and soda or some snack foods. If he ever tells me a meal he wants, I'll make enough of that for leftovers for a few days for him while I'm cooking other things. But generally, he doesn't give me any ideas so he can either eat what I eat or make himself whatever he can come up with. He eats ALOT of ramen! What gets me is that he's had cancer twice and still doesn't see the value in taking care of his body!!!!!

jeorwa

Dang girl!

What helps is at our house I go shopping at the most once a week. I work on a menu and compromise with the hubbys input. We agree on the menu - and if he has a special request I try to accomodate that in a lower calorie way. (IE - if he wants sour cream for the baked taters, I get low fat sour cream... then I don't eat as much of it!) I build my shopping list from the menu. I only buy what's on the list. The menu goes on the fridge, and I don't go to the store till we've eaten everything on the menu. He's lucky I go to the store at all. :-) And I NEVER go down the cookie eisle, and if I do, I look the other way!

My Hubby is good about eating what I cook - but the only option he's got is A. Take it or B. Leave it. C. Get in your truck and drive somewhere and get what you want. He always ends up with option A.

When we first got married he whined (he was a mama's boy). One day I made cornbread...and there was a comment he made "This is better than last times, but it ain't momma's cornbread". I told him that I hated cornbread and I would never make it again. (and I haven't!) I think after that he was afraid to complain. But, he's learned to cook it himself - and now makes a good mexican cornbread! In fact - he's pretty proud of it!

He is diabetic - so I have to keep candy around for when his sugar drops. (when it's low, he is unreasonable and only will eat M&M's!) But I get the peanut M&M's cause those are the kind I like the least.

But all-in-all I'm pretty lucky, and he's pretty supportive. He even asks how many calories I've still got for the day when I think about an evening snack.

Ding724

I actually have quite the opposite, my wife is VERY supportive of eating better dinners but she always has to have a bag of chips or other crap in the house. We did find a compromise though, she only gets chips I do not like so I am not tempted to dig into them.

My husband is also very supportive but likes to have a fair amount of goodies around the house...so I buy him chips & cookies that I won't be tempted by...like jalapeno chips or nutter butter cookies!!!

& I say that if he doesn't like what you're making for dinner, then he can just wait till the next meal!!! He'll be hungrier by then lol

jsecret

I'm right there with you. My husband will not eat fruits or vegetables at all. He insists on living on soda and pizza pretty much. or mozzerella bites, hot pockets (won't touch lean pockets with a ten foot pole!), etc.

It gets tiring since all his food has to be microwaveable pretty much and even at dinner I have to make two seperate meals, and put it on his plate, and serve it to him at the coffee table. I can even be in the middle of doing something and he will ask me to stop and go get him a soda out of the fridge... seriously???

Last night I had leftovers and a salad and then had to make my son something to eat and then my husband wanted me to make him a pizza. A turn the oven on, stick the pizza in, wait for the beep, take it out and eat it kind of pizza which he could not, for reasons I'm obviously clueless on, do that himself so I cleaned the ENTIRE house for my sons bday, did dog and horse chores outside, put together our new mailbox, decorated the house for the party, carried a ton of boxes downstairs (which he said he'd do DAYS ago but I got tired of looking at), made all 3 dinners, and after working an 8 hr day... finally made it to bed around midnight just for the alarm to go off at 5am.

*sigh* men.

OMG, does he think you're his mom? I would put a stop to this craziness.

"Get me a soda."

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because there is nothing physically or mentally impairing you from making your own trip to the fridge for your own soda."

When I see posts like this I wonder what he actually DOES do and why no one has smacked him yet.

Somedays I'll argue it but most days it's not worth the fight. He will just sit there and continue arguing with me or it will lead to some huge explosive fight and I just don't have the time or energy to deal with that so I'd rather just stop what I'm doing and get him his stupid soda. His theory is that I'm the wife so it's my responsibility to clean, cook, and watch our son... on top of working, and since he doesn't like animals I also have to do everything involved with the horses and dogs. And run all errands. It's no wonder I'm always tired!

tristalin

You are not alone! When both my husband & I were working he would do his fair share of "cooking" (ie: open a jar of spaghetti sauce & boil some pasta), but for the past 6 years that I have stayed home with our children, he doesn't cook a thing. Now, I really do not mind making dinner for my family, but what I can't stand is when he says there is nothing to eat! He would rather starve or go get fast food than eat what I make or even make himself a sandwich! And it is not like I am asking him to eat salads every night...he is getting decent, home-made, home-cooked food that most men would kill for. Drives me insane!

dbanks80

my mom told me last week she dumped organic milk into a "regular" milk carton and said my dad was asking why the milk tasted so much better. was it a new brand??

Some Men.

That is tooo funny!! :laugh:

dbanks80

I'm right there with you. My husband will not eat fruits or vegetables at all. He insists on living on soda and pizza pretty much. or mozzerella bites, hot pockets (won't touch lean pockets with a ten foot pole!), etc.

It gets tiring since all his food has to be microwaveable pretty much and even at dinner I have to make two seperate meals, and put it on his plate, and serve it to him at the coffee table. I can even be in the middle of doing something and he will ask me to stop and go get him a soda out of the fridge... seriously???

Last night I had leftovers and a salad and then had to make my son something to eat and then my husband wanted me to make him a pizza. A turn the oven on, stick the pizza in, wait for the beep, take it out and eat it kind of pizza which he could not, for reasons I'm obviously clueless on, do that himself so I cleaned the ENTIRE house for my sons bday, did dog and horse chores outside, put together our new mailbox, decorated the house for the party, carried a ton of boxes downstairs (which he said he'd do DAYS ago but I got tired of looking at), made all 3 dinners, and after working an 8 hr day... finally made it to bed around midnight just for the alarm to go off at 5am.

*sigh* men.

OMG, does he think you're his mom? I would put a stop to this craziness.

"Get me a soda."

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because there is nothing physically or mentally impairing you from making your own trip to the fridge for your own soda."

When I see posts like this I wonder what he actually DOES do and why no one has smacked him yet.

Somedays I'll argue it but most days it's not worth the fight. He will just sit there and continue arguing with me or it will lead to some huge explosive fight and I just don't have the time or energy to deal with that so I'd rather just stop what I'm doing and get him his stupid soda. His theory is that I'm the wife so it's my responsibility to clean, cook, and watch our son... on top of working, and since he doesn't like animals I also have to do everything involved with the horses and dogs. And run all errands. It's no wonder I'm always tired!

You are a good woman!!!

MisdemeanorM

His theory is that I'm the wife so it's my responsibility to clean, cook, and watch our son... on top of working, and since he doesn't like animals I also have to do everything involved with the horses and dogs. And run all errands. It's no wonder I'm always tired!

Ha, you sound like me! He won't clean at all, or take the dogs out, and would do nothing with my horse when I had it (despite the fact that he was a career cowboy for many years!!). I pick my battles. He will (sometimes) cook on days he's not working, othwerwise I do so it's ready when he gets home. He has taken up the grocery shopping too for the necessities (and like I said, his own crap food), though I still usually go too when I have time to get "me food" like yogurt, fruit, and WW tortillas. The boy for the life of him cannot seem to carry a dish to the sink, clothes to the washer, or socks off the living room floor. :explode: Though, I have to admit, my 3 yr old has a cold, and in my own passive aggressive way, I have been letting him blow his nose on the socks on the floor. :laugh: Awful on so many levels, I know. The super frustrating part for me is - I work full time! And from home so it's double duty being a full time SAHM and a full time employee. He thinks somehow it's easier for me to stop and do laundry or dishes - like my work is easier or less time consuming now that I don't sit in an office any more? So I have off Saturdays and he doesn't... so? I worked two jobs 7 days a week for a long time when he was unemployed or only slightly employed for over a year (yet still did no cleaning or dishes or laundry!), I have earned 2 days "off" a week (though, like i said, I have a 3 yr old, it's never really time off!) Anyway, I love husband-ranting posts :laugh: But, i really try not to baby him where possible (sometimes it IS just easier!) but the 2 meals thing always tips me over the edge - I totally would stab him in the face.

neelia

my mom told me last week she dumped organic milk into a "regular" milk carton and said my dad was asking why the milk tasted so much better. was it a new brand??

I just did the same thing with my husband! For months I always had to buy 2 kinds of loaf bread because my husband refused to eat the low calorie bread I bought. For the past two weeks, I've been packing his lunch with a sandwich using the low calorie bread and he never even noticed. When we went grocery shopping last night, he asked why I only got one loaf of bread ("my" bread) and I told him about using that bread the whole time...he was shocked to say the least.

I told him that he automatically assumes it will taste bad just because it is better for you...and he was wrong! Haha!

GorillaNJ

. His theory is that I'm the wife so it's my responsibility to clean, cook, and watch our son... on top of working, and since he doesn't like animals I also have to do everything involved with the horses and dogs. And run all errands.

Is there something wrong with that? :bigsmile:

ZebraHead

^uh-oh!

*bangs head on desk...

neelia

. His theory is that I'm the wife so it's my responsibility to clean, cook, and watch our son... on top of working, and since he doesn't like animals I also have to do everything involved with the horses and dogs. And run all errands.

Is there something wrong with that? :bigsmile:

Yes! Haha!

jsecret

. His theory is that I'm the wife so it's my responsibility to clean, cook, and watch our son... on top of working, and since he doesn't like animals I also have to do everything involved with the horses and dogs. And run all errands.

Is there something wrong with that? :bigsmile:

Yes! Haha!

Honestly if I was that kind of person I probably wouldn't mind it. But I'm not that "betty home maker" type of girl. My barn is always spotless, my horses are groomed and fed, the dogs aisle and stalls are always clean, and all their dishes are cleaned nightly.

Our house just never bothers me. I don't care if the dishes aren't done or the floor isn't vacuumed or the laundry is in a big pile. It drives him nuts! Which is fine but he expects me to do it all. If you are so worried about the food, the house, the laundry then YOU do it! Meanwhile I'll be out in the barn

GorillaNJ

. His theory is that I'm the wife so it's my responsibility to clean, cook, and watch our son... on top of working, and since he doesn't like animals I also have to do everything involved with the horses and dogs. And run all errands.

Is there something wrong with that? :bigsmile:

Yes! Haha!

your right, there is no mention of sex on that list! :flowerforyou:

LuckyLeprechaun

i hate to blame the victim, but if he had never been allowed to get away with that crap he would not behave that way. When you say it's easier not to fight, you're doing the sasme thing a parent does when they give in just to avoid the tantrum. It only makes things worse. If you do not stand up for yourself, this behavior will never change. Don't let him goad you into an argument. Calmly stand your ground. If my husband were to command me to bring him a soda, I'd laugh in his face. Asking nicely, once in a while is one thing. If I'm already up, and he calls out, hey babe, would you bring me a soda please? Sure, no prob! But demanding, and tantruming if you don't is ridiculous. STOP GIVING IN!! (I say this with the utmost caring and respect):flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

violet_820

Ditto to that! Mine says that he wants me to be healthy, but then the next second turns around and suggest McDonald's for dinner. I don't think he does it on purpose, but he definitely doesn't tolerate the eating healthy. Also... not eating as MUCH. I eat less than before and I don't tend to make huge meals... and that doesn't satistfy him. He wants to full meat and potatoes meal, when I can handle a salad with a little chicken on the side. ARGH!!!

I'm so glad there are others experiencing this! It's so frustrating to have the person who's supposed to support you the most be the one who de-rails you the most (regarding weight loss). Ah well... I've learned to be self supportive and go ahead and eat healthy (mostly) anyway. :-)

Keep it up everyone!

Grokette

Dude. I can totally relate. My fiance just started Atkins about a month ago. I hate low carb diets. They are so restrictive. I can control my portions, but he can't so he needs the structure to help him lose weight. This means that I have to cook low carb dinners for him and then try to add a potato or something to it to make it not terribly bland and boring for me. Usually I end up eating some soup or chicken and veggies while I'm cooking his chicken and specific low carb vegetables. The thing is, he can't even eat every kind of vegetable. I have to check the list to see how many carbs everything has before I plan dinner. If there's protein and veg in the fridge, I consider him covered but he'll come home from work at 11 pm and want chicken wings or he'll say, "I'll just drink a protein shake" because it's easier and then I'm all "I spent an hour making you dinner that I won't eat and you're going to have a protein shake?!"

It's an uphill battle to find a balance, but at least we're both losing weight. Lol

AFter a month of being on Atkins, he should be adding in more and more veggies.

I ate just about every veggie out there when I was on Atkins and it was never bland or boring. Added in some rice or a potato for my hubby and extra salad for myself...........

I experimented with spices and herbs too and could have chicken and veggies 5 different ways with in a weeks time.



My hubby only says there is nothing to eat in the house when he has to cook, as long as I am doing the cooking he eats what I cook and always says how I am the best cook in the world...........

I need to go back to cooking where we have left overs so all he has to do is heat and eat.

Ashley_Panda

I bake stuff I won't eat that way he has something in the house for him and I won't touch it. I do the same thing for when my mom visits. I have crap willpower too. Lol.

JStarnes

I agree with LuckyLeprechaun. I can't believe the number of responders that give in & actually cook 2 or 3 different meals?! I'm not a short-order cook, you'll eat what I make or you'll starve- kids too. Tell him to suck it up, unless you're feeding him dog food or poison, the food you make won't kill him. Learn to like it. And, if the spouse does choose to bring ''bad foods'' in, I don't think its fair to blame him/her for your lack of willpower. Being mad over that is crazy to me. But that's JMO.

mmtiernan

I understand where you are coming from - my ex husband and I fought all the time about what he ate - if it wasn't breaded and fried, he wouldn't eat it. Sadly, he passed away at the age of 38 from a heart attack.

I'm pretty concerned that your son is being allowed to eat the same way as his father! If your husband wants to eat badly, he is an adult but children deserve healthy, nutrition meals to give them a good, healthy start in life! Please don't pass up the opportunity to feed your son well and teach him good, healthy eating habits!

Perhaps you could ease your husband into healthier eating gradually by cleaning up some of his favorite recipes? Once he sees that he doesn't really have to give up everything, it might help him to make the transition. Try making burgers using ground turkey breast, etc. If it helps, Clean Eating magazine regularly publishes healthy, clean versions of favorite recipes.

Also, sometimes guys just need to get the message from another guy. There is a pretty good book written by one of the editors of Men's Health magazine called "The Abs Diet". It's not really a 'diet' per se, as the book talks about healthy eating habits and discusses how eating bad food negatively affects the body by clogging arteries, etc. It also discusses exercise and has lots of success stories about other guys who have changed their eating habits for the better. It's a pretty good read and maybe hearing it from another guy's perspective will help.

Good luck!

frankborelli

I have this problem but in reverse: my wife doesn't like to eat properly. So I cook for my son and I... she eats with us or not. I gave up trying but will not be fat just because it's easier...

GorillaNJ

I agree with LuckyLeprechaun. I can't believe the number of responders that give in & actually cook 2 or 3 different meals?! I'm not a short-order cook, you'll eat what I make or you'll starve- kids too. Tell him to suck it up, unless you're feeding him dog food or poison, the food you make won't kill him. Learn to like it. And, if the spouse does choose to bring ''bad foods'' in, I don't think its fair to blame him/her for your lack of willpower. Being mad over that is crazy to me. But that's JMO.

I have several friends who cook a separate meal for their children... Bull$hit too, I make one dinner and it is for everyone. Do i try to make sure that there is something in there that everyone likes... sure I do. But to make an adult dinner and then mac and cheese or chicken nuggets is not something I will do... ever.

chanstriste13

if you're doing the cooking, it gets to be your way. i'd let him starve. he'll eat it eventually.

chanstriste13

...you'll eat what I make or you'll starve- kids too.

well said!

princess_in_power

I have several friends who cook a separate meal for their children... Bull$hit too, I make one dinner and it is for everyone. Do i try to make sure that there is something in there that everyone likes... sure I do. But to make an adult dinner and then mac and cheese or chicken nuggets is not something I will do... ever.

No!! That is why healthy eating is almost non-existent, people would rather cave then say this is for dinner, period. The only choice we had growing up was to eat or not eat =D And I think that is choice enough! (Plus my mom was an excellent cook and healthy too since she had gallbladder issues)

Hollycat

I've been a short-order cook for years. At home. Everyone wants something different. And yes, it can get expensive. When I tell my husband what I spend on groceries, he just shakes his head. He didn't believe me until I started saving the receipts and charting them in a spreadsheet. It's the quick, convenient snacks that kill a grocery budget. As the kids get older [they're 14 and 20 and both interested in getting healthy and looking good ] and the husband gets older and more concerned with his health, we're all gradually moving toward a more unified, healthier diet. All I can say is it gets easier... Now that they're older, I say if it's not on my grocery list and they want it, they'd better add it to the list before I go shopping or they can darn well buy it themselves. That includes the husband. Things like chocolate bars and cake just never make it to my 'final' list. I regularly make healthy muffins [it takes 10 minutes] and that's as close as it gets.

My response to "there's nothing good to eat...:sad: " Tough. Make something. Anyone who DARES respond with "It's your job!" gets a 10 minute lecture on what a mother's job is.....short version: to raise a responsible, capable adult that doesn't whine or manipulate others into doing what they should be doing for themselves. And then guess what? Mother takes a short vacation from her 'duties'. I love it. Suddenly there's no clean laundry either...except in my drawer and the house looks like a bomb went off.

Oh well!

Hollycat
:flowerforyou: