Am I overweight?

Grokette

I do not think that you look overweight. Then again you are not naked in the pics lol and clothes can hide alot. I think you look great so you need to do what you want for yourself and no one else


and FYI... when I asked my fiance if he thought I should loose some weight he said.. "yea you could loose some pounds, but only if you want too. I think you are beautiful just the way you are no matter what." And when I ask him how I look in certain outfit and its not a positive answer.. I take that as constructive criticizm and find something else. This has happened with two outfits so far and when I put them on again after I lost some weight.. his reaction was priceless

I respected his opinion and am thankfull that he can be honest with me.

All men should learn to be brutally honest with their women..no matter what.

I agree - My husband is the same way!!!

It has happened a couple of times with outfits I put on and he said to me............"You are not the size I was when I first met you and what you have on does NOT look good on you at your current weight. If you want to wear those types of clothes again and have them look good on you, you know what you need to do for yourself."

My husband has loved me when I weighed 125 pounds and he still loved me unconditionally when I weighed 265 - and he continues to love me the same every where in between.

trekkiebeth

All men should learn to be brutally honest with their women..no matter what.

You're a minority in this respect. In my experience, most women don't really feel that way, and many men learn to avoid that at all costs after a few nights on the couch.

This really surprises me. I would have thought that most women would want their man to be honest with them if they sincerely wanted to know if they were overweight or if a certain outfit looked good on them. I wouldn't want my boyfriend to tell me I look great in something if it was actually very unflattering. I would just end up embarrassing myself. I guess how honest a man should be depends on how honest a woman is being by asking the question in the first place. If she asks a question that she doesn't really want an answer to, I suppose a man will learn to not answer honestly.

Like I said, I'm pretty sure I have body dysmorphic disorder. (I have almost all of the symptoms.) My boyfriend says I don't have a realistic view of my looks, so this is an issue we both need to talk honestly about to help me get a realistic view of how I look.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder

JLeeAlton

There are nice ways to go about how you say something to someone about their weight. If a woman is asking a question about how she looks for what thier man's opinion is of an outfit or weight in general.. then yes be honest.

However if a man wants to be an *kitten* about it.. then that is a different story. That is not what I am referring too. And honestly if a woman asks if she looks ok or if they need to loose pounds and thier man is honest and says how he feels and the woman doesn't like the answer.. she has no one else to blame but herself for asking the question.

Stewie316

BMI calculators tell me I'm overweight and I'm sure I must be overweight, but my boyfriend says he thinks I look really good and he doesn't think I look overweight. He has normal taste in looks and doesn't prefer overweight women or anything.

Do I look overweight? I'm about 5'4 and 148 pounds.

Your BF is not going to tell you the truth. Unless the truth is the truth. Yes, you are over weight. The real question is: are you happy with the way you look and feel?

Um OK...her BF is not telling the truth?! Maybe I read that wrong, but it seems an odd thing to say, lol. He said that she looks good and does not look overweight!

As to the OP I agree with others. Do you like the way that you look and are you satisfied with your level of fitness? If the answer to one or both of those questions is "no" then maybe make a road map to help you address those concerns.

You are not overweight. BMI is just a guideline and isn't accurate for everyone. I looked up your BMI number and it was 25.4 (25 is considered overweight), but you may have more muscle than the average person making your BMI higher. Being only .5 away from the "healthy" category doesn't automatically make you overweight. IMO you don't look overweight at all.

FireRox21

Um OK...her BF is not telling the truth?! Maybe I read that wrong, but it seems an odd thing to say, lol. He said that she looks good and does not look overweight!

No, you read that correct. No boyfriend is going to tell his girlfriend she is overweight. That is setting himself up for disaster. Does he think she looks good? Absolutely. Does he think she looks over weight? You will never know. However, judging from her photo and height/weight, yes she is over weight. Is she obese? Absolutely not. Hence, that said it is up to her on how she feels about the way she looks and feels.

Come on people there is no need to candy coat it here. She has her boyfriend for that. We are all here on this site to lose weight and/or get fit. We should at least be able to tell each other the honest truth.

Dang, I found the one man out there that DID tell me I was overweight!! He was straight up honest that I had gained quite a lot of weight and while he wasn't thrilled about it, he understood. We were having LOTS of home-life and medical issues. As for the OP, I agree that your BF is most likely not going to tell you what he really thinks as he wants to avoid arguements and hurt feelings. But ultimately, the decision is yours to make if you want to lose weight or not. Only you have that power.

emmyvera

i think you look beautiful!!!

first of all, you want to be happy with how you look at any level and know that you are healthy.
(just like the commercial where the thin person falls over because of cholesterol, it ain't all about looks)

i'm 5'4" and built very very similar to you. i've weighed between 140 and 160 all of of my teenage/adult life.

i've always felt happy with my curves. but i'm at a point in my life where i want to be healthier, stronger and
fitter. i am sure my hips/curves will stay but i want to have more definition and be strong!!!

it's all about perception and what matters is what you think of how you look and feel and being healthy!
this site is so wonderful because it's more than just dropping pounds, but maintaining a healthy lifestyle as well.

my goal weight is 130 too! good luck lady! :flowerforyou:

HealthyChanges2010

BMI calculators tell me I'm overweight and I'm sure I must be overweight, but my boyfriend says he thinks I look really good and he doesn't think I look overweight. He has normal taste in looks and doesn't prefer overweight women or anything.

Do I look overweight? I'm about 5'4 and 148 pounds.

Your BF is not going to tell you the truth. Unless the truth is the truth. Yes, you are over weight. The real question is: are you happy with the way you look and feel?

well put and more so are you eating healthy and getting regular excercise. We can look great and not be healthy, look at all the ppl out in the world that are not over weight on the scale but eat like crap or starve themselves to wear a dress to an event.

In the end it's how feel about ourselves not how others see us.:flowerforyou:

HealthyChanges2010

I do not think that you look overweight. Then again you are not naked in the pics lol and clothes can hide alot. I think you look great so you need to do what you want for yourself and no one else


and FYI... when I asked my fiance if he thought I should loose some weight he said.. "yea you could loose some pounds, but only if you want too. I think you are beautiful just the way you are no matter what." And when I ask him how I look in certain outfit and its not a positive answer.. I take that as constructive criticizm and find something else. This has happened with two outfits so far and when I put them on again after I lost some weight.. his reaction was priceless

I respected his opinion and am thankfull that he can be honest with me.

All men should learn to be brutally honest with their women..no matter what.

agreed and it's up to us women to learn to deal with the response when we ASK particular questions so guys don't feel they have to lie to avoid confrontation. Guys feel they need to say what is the safe answer because some women truly don't want to hear the truth but what they want to hear. :laugh:

I feel for you men, it's true in some cases you can't win because your ladies don't really want to hear the 'truth' from you when they already know but are wanting to stay in denial instead.

EmmieSu

My sister, knowing she needed to lose weight, went to see her doctor. She had a physical, to find out all her important info, sugar, cholesterol, thyroid function, that kind of stuff, and then she told the Dr. how much weight she wanted to lose. Her Dr. said that she needed to lose it slowly, and after she had lost half of her goal, to come back, and have another physical. The Dr. said tha bmi for one person, is not the same for the next because of bone structure/mass and muscle mass. So what is a healthy weight for one lady that is 5'4, may not be the same as another lady that is 5'4. I suggest seeing your dr, having a physical, and then deciding am I really overweight and unhealthy? If your overweight and healthy, then don't lose any weight, if that is what makes you happy. I believe, that a man that loves his woman, will not care if she's overweight, he loves her unconditionally, that's the way it should be. So, overweight of not, he loves you just the way you are. Poor guys, sometimes they have no chance. In my opinion, you look great.

lloydrt

emme, that BMI chart is government propaganda.....just another way to label us.....

it also DOES NOT take in consideration a persons age, as older people have different issues, readings and fat mass as opposed to a teenager...

I think I read where that BMI Mass index chart is 100 years old.......sorry, but my primary physicain said most Drs dont use it , its obselete...

Thanks for that info though.....Lloyd

hamiltonba

Kewkdb - You're absolutely CORRECT - and this coming from a woman! What man in his right mind would say, "yes honey, you're overweight"!!

HealthyChanges2010

Um OK...her BF is not telling the truth?! Maybe I read that wrong, but it seems an odd thing to say, lol. He said that she looks good and does not look overweight!

No, you read that correct. No boyfriend is going to tell his girlfriend she is overweight. That is setting himself up for disaster. Does he think she looks good? Absolutely. Does he think she looks over weight? You will never know. However, judging from her photo and height/weight, yes she is over weight. Is she obese? Absolutely not. Hence, that said it is up to her on how she feels about the way she looks and feels.

Come on people there is no need to candy coat it here. She has her boyfriend for that. We are all here on this site to lose weight and/or get fit. We should at least be able to tell each other the honest truth.

Dang, I found the one man out there that DID tell me I was overweight!! He was straight up honest that I had gained quite a lot of weight and while he wasn't thrilled about it, he understood. We were having LOTS of home-life and medical issues. As for the OP, I agree that your BF is most likely not going to tell you what he really thinks as he wants to avoid arguements and hurt feelings. But ultimately, the decision is yours to make if you want to lose weight or not. Only you have that power.

Love an honest man!! Honesty in a relationship is what makes it work long term, sometimes how we word things can be the killer but I agree straight up and honest:drinker:

Cytherea

According to the BMI calculator that I've used, you are only 3 lbs. overweight. I am the same height as you, and that is right around where my goal is! If you are uncomfortable with yourself, I would say work to get more in shape than to necessarily "lose weight." You'll be healthier and the weight loss will result because of it too.

For the record, I am one of those women who expect total, brutal, honesty. My husband would never lie to me and I love him for it. I could NEVER be with a man who didn't tell me the truth.

When I was picking out dresses for a wedding back in August, I was showing my husband the options and my mom was there. She was shocked (to say the least!) at some of the things that came out of his mouth when he saw me in the dresses! On the other hand, it just made me laugh. She doesn't know how I deal with it; I don't know how SHE deals with my dad, who just says "wow" at everything!

trekkiebeth

I didn't know that so many people would question my boyfriend's honesty. If most men lie to their girlfriends/wives about it, then I have to assume that most women don't want their boyfriends/husbands to tell them the truth. He knows that I want to know the truth, and I believe that he's honest with me.

To everyone who keeps saying my boyfriend isn't being honest with me, please stop assuming that you know him better than I do.

Anyway, I can't afford to get checked out by a doctor. I'll just have to take my best guess about whether I'm healthy or not. I try to eat well most of the time, but my activity is sporadic. I've already decided that I want to try to lose weight, so I'm planning to eat even healthier and get more regular exercise.

JLeeAlton

Oh I don't think he isn't being honest with you at all. I think you look great in the pictures. I am sure he thinks you look great as well!

I think conversation just stemmed from men saying they would be put in the dog house if they told thier women, yes you are overweight.

Grokette

I didn't know that so many people would question my boyfriend's honesty. If most men lie to their girlfriends/wives about it, then I have to assume that most women don't want their boyfriends/husbands to tell them the truth. He knows that I want to know the truth, and I believe that he's honest with me.

To everyone who keeps saying my boyfriend isn't being honest with me, please stop assuming that you know him better than I do.

Anyway, I can't afford to get checked out by a doctor. I'll just have to take my best guess about whether I'm healthy or not. I try to eat well most of the time, but my activity is sporadic. I've already decided that I want to try to lose weight, so I'm planning to eat even healthier and get more regular exercise.

Don't worry about what anyone else thinks...........

Most people think because their mate would lie to them that everyone's mate will lie to that person too.

HealthyChanges2010

Oh I don't think he isn't being honest with you at all. I think you look great in the pictures. I am sure he thinks you look great as well!

I think conversation just stemmed from men saying they would be put in the dog house if they told thier women, yes you are overweight.

agreed

I wouldn't take it too personally about others sharing the men vs. women situation, it was brought up as a general topic not anyone calling YOUR bf a liar.:laugh: Simply that as women we have somewhat conditioned men to avoid uncomfortable situations by our reactions when they are saying something straight up. Women and Men communicate differently, some men are pretty blunt some women take that to heart and nothing is truly meant by it regarding hurting the person they care about by simply responded to the question ask.

Lots of thoughts tossed out here, by now you've made your decision and can now decide what you'd like to do for yourself:flowerforyou: Keep in mind message boards are open for all thoughts when someone asks a question:smokin: doesn't mean anyone is trashing your boyfriend:noway:

jennylynn84

I try to eat well most of the time, but my activity is sporadic. I've already decided that I want to try to lose weight, so I'm planning to eat even healthier and get more regular exercise.

Probably your best bet right here. Personally, I think you look fine. BUT because you have such issues with your body, doing a little bit more to take care of it probably won't hurt the way you feel about it.

Also, even though you don't LOOK bad, that's not the definition of health and if you're fairly sedentary putting in some more activity won't hurt either. No use being "skinny fat." Just don't go overboard. Take measurements as well. There are other calculators of body fat available on the web that use your weight as well as waist/hip ratio to measure fat.

Personally, I wouldn't question BF's honesty with you. I'm sure he loves the way you look. He's also probably a tad worried that since you have such a hard time emotionally accepting that you're not gross that weight loss may be difficult for you to turn off in the future once you get started. You know your BF better than all of us, so if you believe he'd tell you if you put on weight, then I'm sure he would. Not all men are terrified. My hubby knows that I'd rather hear from him that something just doesn't look right on me (something that used to fit - there's the hint, lol) than go out in it. IN FACT, I force him to go shopping with me for that very reason. He is the most honest about how something looks on me and if I can successfully pull off a look or not.

It all depends on your relationship with your man and how sensitive you are about criticism.

daryls

I love the "your boyfriend is not going to tell you the truth" comment. My husband does tell me the truth....and I love him and dislike him for it at the same time. But, in the long run, it keeps me accountable. (I'm honest with him too....)

As for BMI, no two bodies are the same. The fact that you are asking the question and asking for others' advice makes me think that you have some concerns about your weight. I agree with the others, see a doctor and have a CBC done and look at your overall health, not just your weight.

Best of luck!

binary_jester

I think both sexes can be accused of asking questions they really don't want an answer to.

Was I your first?
Was I your best?
Did you fall asleep on every guy before? (ok, this might just be me. )

JakeNonne

Body dysmorphic disorder is the preoccupation of an imagined defect in appearance which may result in depression or anxiety. I think your decision to lose weight and get fit will surely build your confidence and probably alleviate your BDD. And you have a great community here to support you.

I think your boyfriend loves you and is being quite honest with you. He's a VERY lucky man. If he's hot for you now, imagine how nuts you will drive him as you move towards your goal.

jb_sweet_99

I think u look great!

ZacFields

I didn't get a chance to read all the posts so I apologize if this has already been addressed.

Let's put it this way, I am 6'2" and I weight about 215 or 220.

My favorite football player, Miles Austin, has the exact same height and weight. By BMI standards, we are both overweight. Here is an image of me and an image of him...




As you can see, I need to lose weight... I think Miles is probably fine though. lol.

In short, as long as you are healthy and you're comfortable with your weight, that's all that matters. I think BMI says that someone my height could weigh as little as 130 pounds and be in the "normal" range. I weighed 160 in high school and I was a TWIG. There's no way that someone at 6'2" could weigh 130 pounds and look normal at all.

neelia

Um OK...her BF is not telling the truth?! Maybe I read that wrong, but it seems an odd thing to say, lol. He said that she looks good and does not look overweight!

No, you read that correct. No boyfriend is going to tell his girlfriend she is overweight. That is setting himself up for disaster. Does he think she looks good? Absolutely. Does he think she looks over weight? You will never know. However, judging from her photo and height/weight, yes she is over weight. Is she obese? Absolutely not. Hence, that said it is up to her on how she feels about the way she looks and feels.

Come on people there is no need to candy coat it here. She has her boyfriend for that. We are all here on this site to lose weight and/or get fit. We should at least be able to tell each other the honest truth.

I agree- unless your boyfriend is a mentally abusive a-hole, it isn't likely that he will tell you if you are overweight. Even when I was at my heaviest weight (and seriously...seriously...overweight) my husband NEVER told me that I needed to lose weight., and he WILL never tell me because he knows how much it hurts me to even hear it.

& the guy I quoted is correct- we should be able to tell the honest truth. We are all here for the same reason- to lose weight and get fit! There should be no shame here as we are all looking to attain the same general goal.

I, personally, think you look FABULOUS and would kill to look as good as you! From looking at your photos, I would say you look like you are at a healthy weight. If you are happy with the way you look, that is all that matters! However, you would be in the healthy weight BMI range by losing only 8 lbs, so if you would be happier seeing your BMI on track...then by all means strive for it!

Either way you're gorgeous!

abyt42

"Honey, does this dress make me look fat" ?

My husband's answer: "Not any fatter than you look in the rest of your clothes."

20 years, and still going...

neelia

Oops- I also meant to add that I do NOT think your boyfriend is lying to you. I think he loves the way you look just as you are (How could he not?) I'm just saying that most men, in general, won't tell the utter and complete truth because they know the reaction of their women.

HealthyChanges2010

I didn't get a chance to read all the posts so I apologize if this has already been addressed.

Let's put it this way, I am 6'2" and I weight about 215 or 220.

My favorite football player, Miles Austin, has the exact same height and weight. By BMI standards, we are both overweight. Here is an image of me and an image of him...




As you can see, I need to lose weight... I think Miles is probably fine though. lol.

In short, as long as you are healthy and you're comfortable with your weight, that's all that matters. I think BMI says that someone my height could weigh as little as 130 pounds and be in the "normal" range. I weighed 160 in high school and I was a TWIG. There's no way that someone at 6'2" could weigh 130 pounds and look normal at all.

Miles is lookin' *damn fine*... for real!:blushing:

Edited to add: and you're working on it and look good yourself, glad you shared the comparison on how 2 ppl can be the same stats but it can look differently on each of us. Being a football player the guy is in constant workout mode so that's gonna make all the difference in the world.

You're not too bad yourself in your 'bay watch' photo:laugh: Miles' pecs just caught me off guard is all and that's why he got first mention.:blushing: :laugh: