Awkward men's room moments

wheird

I stopped at Arby's for lunch today and before I ordered I went to the restroom. Another guy followed me in and stepped up to the only other urinal. And there was no dividing wall. This is a bit of an awkward thing for guys and the general ettiquete is Eyes Forward. As I was doing my business I realized that I couldnt hear him going. The guy had stage fright. Not very uncommon considering the awkwardness of standing shoulder to shoulder with your junk out.


However, I was immediately amused and started thinking of ways to make it more awkward. "I should ask him if he wants me to hum so he can relax."

Fighting back a smile as I washed amd dried my hands, I thought of it again as I walked out and didnt quite manage to hold my laughter before the door closed.

Then it turned into an awkward "Waiting for our orders" moment...

sixout

When there is only one urinal left, and it's between two guys that are taller than the divider.

#justawkwardmensroommoments

ChelseaWelseyKins

When I was around 4 my dad had to take me into the men's room with him because it was only me and him at the pool. He told me to stand by the wall and don't look at anyone or anything, just wait while he went into a stall. There were no urinals, I assume they were near the back (it was a big bathroom) so it's not like there was a case of slight pedophilia happening around there, but as a guy was walking out he went to get a paper towel from near where I was standing, and I thought it was my dad. I grabbed his hand and assumed we were leaving and called him dad. After my dad came to my rescue he laughed at me for like an hour.

B**ch I was four :noway:

He still makes fun of me.

LoneWolf_70

when im at the urinal and the water is too cold and too deep heh

Holly_Roman_Empire

Sort of related, but when I was in basic training doing field training, there were only 3 port-a-johns, and about 100 recruits (male and female). We had all of our chem gear (think hazmat suits with gas masks, etc.) on, and we were allowed an opportunity to go pee before we had to enter the gas chamber. We only had ten minutes to do it though, and had to be back in our chem gear by that time.

I've never seen so many men try to fit into a port-a-john before. I think three or four must have been peeing in there at once just to help keep the line down.

wheird

when im at the urinal and the water is too cold and too deep heh

You must have lost your handbook. You arent supposed to dip it into the urinal

And while we are at it, dont drink from it either

hth

redromad275

when im at the urinal and the water is too cold and too deep heh

It didn't take long for this comment to come out!

fanceegirl75

Hahaa hilarious. My bf had me crackin up at the A's game last weekend. It was super crowded. He's trying to concentrate and stare at the wall and still couldn't pee.

skippygirlsmom

My daughter and I were traveling and she was about 4 and needed to use a restroom. We stopped at a rest stop and the ladies room was closed for repairs. She really had to go and no way she would have made it elsewhere so we went into the men's room. There was no one else in there and we went into a stall, of course someone came in while we were in the stall. We came out and washed our hands, careful not to look at the man at the urinal. He turned and said OMG I thought this was the men's room.... I said it is and headed out. He came out a few minutes later and we were stretching our legs before getting back into the car and he looked at me. I said the ladies room is out of order, did you think the ladies room had urinals. He just cracked up and said good point and got in his car.

redromad275

when im at the urinal and the water is too cold and too deep heh

You must have lost your handbook. You arent supposed to dip it into the urinal

And while we are at it, dont drink from it either

hth

Or eat the big white mint

Holly_Roman_Empire

Oh, and I've walked into the ladies' room where there was one woman in a stall, and the water was running full blast on one of sinks. I went to turn it off, and the woman in the stall yelled at me to turn it on. I realized that she needed it on to block her poop sounds. I did my business, but before I walked out, I turned it off.

KseRz

If you are a guy and do this.....I hate you. GTF away from me while I am peeing or I will pee on you....

Lofteren

One time I walked into the locker room at a gym where I used to train and there was an old, hairy guy with one foot on the floor and the other one on top of the counter, Captain Morgan style, while he was BLOW DRYING HIS *kitten*!!!!

I froze.. I seriously didn't know what to do other than look away. My brother followed me into the locker room and started shouting at the guy, "What the hell are you doing, dude? No one wants to see that siht!" Then the old guy looks up with a "where am I?" Kind of look and my brother and I just broke out laughing for about 5 minutes straight.

wheird

If you are a guy and do this.....I hate you. GTF away from me while I am peeing or I will pee on you....

I have had elderly men strike up conversations with me during...

ActuarialChef

Oh, and I've walked into the ladies' room where there was one woman in a stall, and the water was running full blast on one of sinks. I went to turn it off, and the woman in the stall yelled at me to turn it on. I realized that she needed it on to block her poop sounds. I did my business, but before I walked out, I turned it off.

My best friend in high school couldn't pee without the water running. We all called her a nervous pee-er.

My boyfriend walked into the women's restroom by accident about a month ago, while I was waiting for him at the front of the restaurant. He said it was horrible: there was a woman pooping in there and he cannot get over it lmao

LoneWolf_70

Oh, and I've walked into the ladies' room where there was one woman in a stall, and the water was running full blast on one of sinks. I went to turn it off, and the woman in the stall yelled at me to turn it on. I realized that she needed it on to block her poop sounds. I did my business, but before I walked out, I turned it off.

WHAT THE FUUUUU?

Drama_Free_Zone

I've never had any issues, dividers or no.. Hell if some guy wants to stare at my junk as I'm using the urinal that's on him!

Jim_Barteck

When I was around 4 my dad had to take me into the men's room with him because it was only me and him at the pool. He told me to stand by the wall and don't look at anyone or anything, just wait while he went into a stall. There were no urinals, I assume they were near the back (it was a big bathroom) so it's not like there was a case of slight pedophilia happening around there, but as a guy was walking out he went to get a paper towel from near where I was standing, and I thought it was my dad. I grabbed his hand and assumed we were leaving and called him dad. After my dad came to my rescue he laughed at me for like an hour.

B**ch I was four :noway:

He still makes fun of me.

When my daughter was little, I would have to take her in the bathrooms with me. She saw the urinals on the wall and thought they were "little toilets" that boys could sit in if they just had to go potty really quickly. I didn't have the heart to correct her.

HotOatCereal

This is how we do it in England ---> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJmgLqQ-uog

GothyFaery

I was really, really drunk in Vegas a few months back. My husband practically had to carry me home but before we left the casino I had to go. He didn't trust me alone in the restroom so he came into the lady's room with me. He stood outside the stall to make sure I didn't pass out and hit the floor. I guess he got some really harsh looks from the other women in the bathroom.

I ended up giving him a World's Greatest Husband award for not posting pictures or video of me being so messed up.

blah2989

My boys had to use the bathroom and the womens bathroom had a looooong line. So I took them into the mens bathroom (They are 3 and 4 so when they have to go, they have to Go!) Im was also about 7 months pregnant at the time. So I took them both into a stall, and of course Im saying thingsl ike "turn around so I can wipe you" and of that non sense. So they are done, and we go to walk out of the stall and I come out first. There are like two guys just staring giving me this insane look. Then one of them says- " I can help you wipe!" I was like omfg. I just stared at him shocked, then the boys followed me out and he got a look of shock on his face... I mean really, did he think I was talking to myself? Why the hell would I tell myself to turn around so I can wipe myself. Anyways it was weird and awkward. Esp when my 4yr old replied that he wiped himself, as we were walking out. Dear god LOL

Mikkimeow

I like how you made sure to put in that you washed and dried your hands. Good job.

wheird

I like how you made sure to put in that you washed and dried your hands. Good job.

Only because I was getting ready to eat.

sixout

I like how you made sure to put in that you washed and dried your hands. Good job.

Only because I was getting ready to eat.

*****.

superman_149

In highschool I worked retail in a mall. There was a guy who always worked the same shifts as me, but in the store next to mine. Never said a word to the dude, only gave him the old head nod when we'd see eachother..until one day... I was doing my thing at the urinal, eyes forward, dreaming of putting out fires with my stream, when I feel someone looking, turn, and this dude is beside me. He takes this opportunity to introduce himself to me, which on its own is weird, but then I see his hand come my way. THE DUDE WANTS ME TO SHAKE HIS HAND MID STREAM. I told him I was busy, and he'd have to come introduce himself later.

jyogit

worst thing i ever saw was in a hotel in new york city a few years ago .. it was wall to wall mirrors with urinals just stuck on top of the mirrors .. no side panels or anything ..you just stood and pee'd and watched yourself and anyone else in there with you .. i'm no prude or anything but i thought it was going a bit far .. lol

Lauren8239

worst thing i ever saw was in a hotel in new york city a few years ago .. it was wall to wall mirrors with urinals just stuck on top of the mirrors .. no side panels or anything ..you just stood and pee'd and watched yourself and anyone else in there with you .. i'm no prude or anything but i thought it was going a bit far .. lol

That's actually really creepy. :ohwell:

_Waffle_

I was at a urinal in a restaurant after too much iced tea when this beautiful girl walked in right past me and used the stall beside me. This was a pretty small place. Just 2 urinals and a stall. Within 5 seconds she was peeing and she starts talking to me over the noise. "Is everything going okay out there for you?" I couldn't do anything but laugh. "Yeah, just fine and you?" "Much better now" she replied. "I couldn't wait any longer. Hope you don't have stage fright."

I was washing my hands when she came out. She asked if I was shocked to see her in there. I stopped, started drying my hands and just left the water running for her. As she washed hers quickly I replied "No, but if you would have started using the urinal beside me then I would have been." She died laughing. I walked out, she walked out about 2 seconds later and we were both still laughing. I had some disapproving looks from some of the women seated at tables near the restroom.

I've seen women use the men's restroom lots of times. It almost seems normal but that was by far the most memorable one. Someone mentioned the confusion of seeing a woman in the men's restroom before. I still have that drill in my head. "Okay, a lady just walked in but I'm using a urinal so this must be the men's room."

MagnumBurrito

In elementary school, all the urinals were taken. I'm washing my hands. Another kid runs into the bathroom holding his junk, sees there are no urinals or stalls open, pauses, then gets up real close behind the tallest kid at the urinals, does a half squat, 5 holes the tall kid, and starts pissing through his legs. The tall kid just froze.

kinkyslinky16

If I have to pee and there's a line for the women's bathroom, I have no problem popping a squat in the men's bathroom.

QuiznatoddBidness

Two:

(1) This happened about a week ago. 3 urinals. I take the one on the far left (I always go left), the other 2 are empty. Next dude walks in and steps up TO THE MIDDLE ONE!!! This is a serious friggin violation of all the man rules. He leaves an empty on the right so he can stand next to me!? I don't get stage fright, but I should have turned and pizzed on him for the infraction.

(2) Every time I use the urinals at Jerome Bettis grill in Pittsburgh. They're awesome. At eye level is a 2-way mirror that looks right out into the bar area. Sometimes you're doing your business and somebody is right on the other side of the mirror "looking" directly at you. Again, I don't suffer from stage fright, but it is a unique experience. I lifted my 7yo son so he could see -- he still doesn't believe the people out there can't see us. Mike Greenberg (from Mike & Mike on ESPN) is totally freaked out by these urinals and has commented on it on the show from time to time.