Would you be offended if......

2

Replies

  • HeidiCooksSupper
    HeidiCooksSupper Posts: 3,839 Member
    Hey, if I can tell my mother I don't want to discuss my weight, you should be able to do it with a coworker. Just say, "Thank you about noticing my weight loss but it really makes me uncomfortable to talk about it and I don't want to think about it at work. So, may I ask you to ignore it for me? Thanks."

    The path of least resistence often involves playing nice-nice with co-workers so act like it's a problem with your sensitivity not that she's a buttinsky who should butt out.
  • Lemongrab13
    Lemongrab13 Posts: 206 Member
    So you are getting offended because someone acknowledges your weight loss?

    I would say thank you and move on with my day. Can't win anymore people are offended if you don't say something or if you do...

    This. It's a compliment. I know what you mean about it being awkward, I find it hard to cope with attention on my appearance. But recognise it for what it is. A compliment.

    Also verification of success :)
  • YaGigi
    YaGigi Posts: 817 Member
    Why would you get upset? You're working hard on it. Just enjoy your good shape, you've earned it.

    I personally looooove compliments.
  • meltedsno
    meltedsno Posts: 208 Member
    I don't mind the comments I get from my coworkers. They are seeing "someone" they have never seen before. I've dropped about 100 lbs over the last year and it is a little difficult to not notice! Even more so, however, are the comments I get from them as they see me trotting around the building during my breaks and lunch. They tell me I am an inspiration, which is a role I never, ever thought I'd be in. But, it is great because I now have people joining me on those walks. If I can inspire even one person, then wow... that is cool.

    I will say what I find offending is someone telling me how "skinny" I am... I HATE that word as much as I hate the word fat. I am not skinny. I don't even know if I would classify myself as thin... I prefer the word "curvy" because, let's face it... I have hips and a waist and there is a definite curve whether I wore a a size 26 (in my former body) or a size 4 (in my current body).

    I also find it offensive for people to comment on my weight loss and then INSIST that I have had to have surgery because it would be impossible to lose the amount of weight in "such a short period of time". Truth is, it has been 13 1/2 months of work which I did not broadcast publicly, so when they started noticing it was like a 4 or 5 month period of time.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    one of your coworkers keep going on and on how you are losing weight? I am 5`3 and small frame so a 10 pound weight lose shows.even when I gained last winter they point it out as well :devil: Now that I am losing and the weight is meting off it she points it out all the time as well:grumble: .would this offend you?How would you handle the situation?
    Yes, I had this happen. There as a lady who worked in the same office and constantly was noticing my weight, making comments, etc. etc. At first I was nice and asked her to stop making comments about my weight, she didn't, and I finally told her point blank to knock it off. She did, but she was fired a short while later for some other issue.

    That said, I don't mind if someone at work asks me if I've lost weight and how I did it. But, in a general sense, it's not good to comment on people's physical appearance at work.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    So you are getting offended because someone acknowledges your weight loss?

    I would say thank you and move on with my day. Can't win anymore people are offended if you don't say something or if you do...
    She didn't say someone is acknowledging her weight loss, she said they are going on and on about it. Believe me, there is a difference. I've had people at work comment on my weight loss, but it's just a comment, and it's very flattering. But, someone putting a lot of attention on you and making comments often is a bit annoying. It's the workplace.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    I work alone...

    ..but sometimes I like to tell myself how purty I look. Should I hate myself?
    Cute. :laugh: :bigsmile:
  • scb515
    scb515 Posts: 133 Member
    I don't mind the compliments. (Why would I?) i don't mind being asked for advice. (Happy to share the health.)

    What I do dislike are the comments about wasting away and being too thin. I'm an accountant; I'm professionally trained in numbers. I'd like to think I know how to calculate my BMI and check whether I'm too thin or not, thank you!

    Not sure how I'd react to a coworker who comments on weight /gain/ though. The only person who has ever told me I'm getting too fat is my mother. I'd accept that from a friend too - but from a colleague? I think that might be overstepping it.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    People get offended if you compliment their weight loss...People get butthurt when you don't seem to notice.

    There is no win win with people that are just going to find a way to get offended about one thing or another. It's all just one big TRAP!
    This is an interesting response.

    So, are you saying it's okay for corkers to go on and on about someone's weight and the person on the receiving end needs to learn how not to be offended?

    I hope that's not what your saying.

    There is a huge difference between a comment and constantly making comments. The first few times, it's flattery. Anything after that is intrusiveness.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Nope.
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
    Just break up.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    Nope.
    Just break up.

    :smile: :bigsmile:
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
    People get offended if you compliment their weight loss...People get butthurt when you don't seem to notice.

    There is no win win with people that are just going to find a way to get offended about one thing or another. It's all just one big TRAP!
    This is an interesting response.

    So, are you saying it's okay for corkers to go on and on about someone's weight and the person on the receiving end needs to learn how not to be offended?

    I hope that's not what your saying.

    There is a huge difference between a comment and constantly making comments. The first few times, it's flattery. Anything after that is intrusiveness.

    this :bigsmile:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    It is funny, when I lost weight from hard work I loved when anyone brought up my weight loss. At the time I got down to 135ish up or down 3 pounds.

    Now, I am down to 122, smallest I have been in 25 years, but still 10 pounds away from a perfect healthy weight (per charts which IDC about, as I am lifting weights and fully expect to eventually gain back a few)

    BUT.....because I was sick, and this is the reason why I lost the last 10-15, I seriously hate when someone says "Oh you are getting so skinny" or "Don't lose any more weight" or "WOW, you have lost a lot of weight"

    I don't take any of these as a compliment. If someone said "You look very healthy" or "You look good!" now that would be a compliment. What does it mean

    "Don't lose any more weight?" :huh:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    Nope.

    :noway: WOW you've lost a lot of weight!!!



    :bigsmile:
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    People get offended if you compliment their weight loss...People get butthurt when you don't seem to notice.

    There is no win win with people that are just going to find a way to get offended about one thing or another. It's all just one big TRAP!
    This is an interesting response.

    So, are you saying it's okay for corkers to go on and on about someone's weight and the person on the receiving end needs to learn how not to be offended?

    I hope that's not what your saying.

    There is a huge difference between a comment and constantly making comments. The first few times, it's flattery. Anything after that is intrusiveness.

    this :bigsmile:

    If it is really that big of a problem, then I'm not sure why you aren't reporting it to your boss or HR.


    Otherwise.....


    Really just seems like a trap. :flowerforyou:
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
    It is funny, when I lost weight from hard work I loved when anyone brought up my weight loss. At the time I got down to 135ish up or down 3 pounds.

    Now, I am down to 122, smallest I have been in 25 years, but still 10 pounds away from a perfect healthy weight (per charts which IDC about, as I am lifting weights and fully expect to eventually gain back a few)

    BUT.....because I was sick, and this is the reason why I lost the last 10-15, I seriously hate when someone says "Oh you are getting so skinny" or "Don't lose any more weight" or "WOW, you have lost a lot of weight"

    I don't take any of these as a compliment. If someone said "You look very healthy" or "You look good!" now that would be a compliment. What does it mean

    "Don't lose any more weight?" :huh:

    how tall are you? maybe they are just not used to see you this small.I am 5'3 and my goal weight is 120
    I woudnt go lower than that.I still want to keep my curves and look slim at the same time
  • micheal_2014
    micheal_2014 Posts: 9
    Nope, wouldn't be offended or irritated one bit. If it is as often as you say than go through HR. There are a lot of irritating people in the world, at least these ones have good intentions :)
  • marricurt
    marricurt Posts: 47 Member
    I am a nurse, so I work in a very female dominated environment...and nurses are renowned for being able to discuss private and personal details quite easily and openly so my weight loss is always a topic of conversation....and I don't mind at all. My co workers, both on my ward and in the general hospital, always ask me about what I have for lunch/breakfast/dinner, ask for advice, compliment me on both the amount of weight that I have lost and my commitment to losing it. We talk about everything. I know it's coming from a place of love and honest curiosity... Sometimes it does feel a little weird as my weight loss started after my cancer treatment, and I realised that I needed to treat my body better, but all my co workers are generally nice people, so if I have had enough of analysing my eating habits I just say "ok..enough about me! How are you all going?" And the conversation changes. Easy to do and nine times out of ten people take the hint.
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
    People get offended if you compliment their weight loss...People get butthurt when you don't seem to notice.

    There is no win win with people that are just going to find a way to get offended about one thing or another. It's all just one big TRAP!
    This is an interesting response.

    So, are you saying it's okay for corkers to go on and on about someone's weight and the person on the receiving end needs to learn how not to be offended?

    I hope that's not what your saying.

    There is a huge difference between a comment and constantly making comments. The first few times, it's flattery. Anything after that is intrusiveness.

    this :bigsmile:

    If it is really that big of a problem, then I'm not sure why you aren't reporting it to your boss or HR.


    Otherwise.....


    Really just seems like a trap. :flowerforyou:

    its not much of big deal.I jsut feel awkaward when people comment on my body posiyive or negetative so I just prefer they keep that to themselves.I know some people love the weight loss comments but I am private person and I minfd my own business
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    People get offended if you compliment their weight loss...People get butthurt when you don't seem to notice.

    There is no win win with people that are just going to find a way to get offended about one thing or another. It's all just one big TRAP!
    This is an interesting response.

    So, are you saying it's okay for corkers to go on and on about someone's weight and the person on the receiving end needs to learn how not to be offended?

    I hope that's not what your saying.

    There is a huge difference between a comment and constantly making comments. The first few times, it's flattery. Anything after that is intrusiveness.

    this :bigsmile:

    If it is really that big of a problem, then I'm not sure why you aren't reporting it to your boss or HR.


    Otherwise.....


    Really just seems like a trap. :flowerforyou:
    Reporting it to the boss is indeed an option. For me, I didn't report it to the boss, I just told her to cut it out and she did. Had she not stopped after me asking her to, I would've went to the boss.

    What is the trap?
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    Schools need to teach a new class: How to talk to the people around you. It would be helpful for so many people.

    "Hey, I don't want you to be offended but you could please not ask me about my weight anymore? I really appreciate it your kind words but it just makes me a little uncomfortable. Thanks."

    Note: I don't actually want schools to teach this but I do wish people could talk to those around them. So much bottled up resentment could be avoided if they could.
  • mangogirl272727
    mangogirl272727 Posts: 95 Member
    Why is it rude to make a comment about losing weight. I agree with the above poster, you can't win anymore. People get offended if you mention that you are losing weight and they get offended that they are doing such a hard thing and no one notices! Why not just say yes, I'm trying to improve my health and leave it at that. I just don't understand why someone would get offended by someone acknowledging that they have lost weight.
    They might have cancer. They might be unable to eat because their husband has been beating the crap out of them and they're stressed. They might be low on funds and can't buy enough food. They might be taking drugs. They just might not like you making their body a topic of conversation.

    It is rude to comment on people bodies. The theory behind this is that it makes people uncomfortable. Some people are not happy about their weight gain or loss, either, so it's best to not make them unhappy.

    Doctors are the only ones who get to make observations that might be considered rude by others. "Have you been trying to lose or is it just coming off?" "What is that spot on your face?" "You have gained twenty pounds. Are you eating more?"

    Everyone else should limit their comments to, "You look great!" without details. :)

    THIS THIS THIS! You never know the reason for someone's weight gain or weight loss. UNIVITED commentary on someone's weight, even if you mean it as positive, is really uncalled for. Now if that person is talking about their weight loss and wanting feedback that's a different story
  • Bearbo25
    Bearbo25 Posts: 28 Member
    For me when I lost 26 pounds last year I got comments all the time at work. I would just say thank you and that would usually be the end of it. In the odd occasion that I had someone ask further what "trick" I used, I used that opportunity to talk about mfp and how it was no trick ;)
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
    I am a nurse, so I work in a very female dominated environment...and nurses are renowned for being able to discuss private and personal details quite easily and openly so my weight loss is always a topic of conversation....and I don't mind at all. My co workers, both on my ward and in the general hospital, always ask me about what I have for lunch/breakfast/dinner, ask for advice, compliment me on both the amount of weight that I have lost and my commitment to losing it. We talk about everything. I know it's coming from a place of love and honest curiosity... Sometimes it does feel a little weird as my weight loss started after my cancer treatment, and I realised that I needed to treat my body better, but all my co workers are generally nice people, so if I have had enough of analysing my eating habits I just say "ok..enough about me! How are you all going?" And the conversation changes. Easy to do and nine times out of ten people take the hint.


    :smile:
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,724 Member
    Schools need to teach a new class: How to talk to the people around you. It would be helpful for so many people.

    "Hey, I don't want you to be offended but you could please not ask me about my weight anymore? I really appreciate it your kind words but it just makes me a little uncomfortable. Thanks."

    Note: I don't actually want schools to teach this but I do wish people could talk to those around them. So much bottled up resentment could be avoided if they could.

    But alas, there was no class and it helps to bounce proposed conversations off a large group so you can receive feedback. Ever had somebody be a jerk to you but your reaction was way over the top and then you ended up being the bad guy?!
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    Schools need to teach a new class: How to talk to the people around you. It would be helpful for so many people.

    "Hey, I don't want you to be offended but you could please not ask me about my weight anymore? I really appreciate it your kind words but it just makes me a little uncomfortable. Thanks."

    Note: I don't actually want schools to teach this but I do wish people could talk to those around them. So much bottled up resentment could be avoided if they could.

    But alas, there was no class and it helps to bounce proposed conversations off a large group so you can receive feedback. Ever had somebody be a jerk to you but your reaction was way over the top and then you ended up being the bad guy?!

    Nope, but I don't tend to sweat the small stuff in the first place. She asked how we would handle the situation. My first reply was obviously how I would handle the situation.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    People get offended if you compliment their weight loss...People get butthurt when you don't seem to notice.

    There is no win win with people that are just going to find a way to get offended about one thing or another. It's all just one big TRAP!
    This is an interesting response.

    So, are you saying it's okay for corkers to go on and on about someone's weight and the person on the receiving end needs to learn how not to be offended?

    I hope that's not what your saying.

    There is a huge difference between a comment and constantly making comments. The first few times, it's flattery. Anything after that is intrusiveness.

    this :bigsmile:

    If it is really that big of a problem, then I'm not sure why you aren't reporting it to your boss or HR.


    Otherwise.....


    Really just seems like a trap. :flowerforyou:
    Reporting it to the boss is indeed an option. For me, I didn't report it to the boss, I just told her to cut it out and she did. Had she not stopped after me asking her to, I would've went to the boss.

    What is the trap?

    5cFEEHu.gif
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    People get offended if you compliment their weight loss...People get butthurt when you don't seem to notice.

    There is no win win with people that are just going to find a way to get offended about one thing or another. It's all just one big TRAP!
    This is an interesting response.

    So, are you saying it's okay for corkers to go on and on about someone's weight and the person on the receiving end needs to learn how not to be offended?

    I hope that's not what your saying.

    There is a huge difference between a comment and constantly making comments. The first few times, it's flattery. Anything after that is intrusiveness.

    this :bigsmile:

    If it is really that big of a problem, then I'm not sure why you aren't reporting it to your boss or HR.


    Otherwise.....


    Really just seems like a trap. :flowerforyou:
    Reporting it to the boss is indeed an option. For me, I didn't report it to the boss, I just told her to cut it out and she did. Had she not stopped after me asking her to, I would've went to the boss.

    What is the trap?

    5cFEEHu.gif
    Aw, love the cat and dog. :bigsmile:
  • supersupercoolio
    supersupercoolio Posts: 6
    Well yes but then I have an unhealthy view on it. I wish I could eat normally so any comments about my weight no matter what size I am aren't very well appreciated.

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