Depressed about my body

I_need_moar_musclez

Just been to the gym and I took a photo afterwards.
<---This is said photo. It's properly put me on a downer. Why won't my muscles grow like the other guys on here?

AndyRogan

I feel the same, but a good friend gave me the following advice:

Its your body not theirs, you have no idea what they do each day, they might be spending 12 hours a day in the gym or been training for 5+ years.
Just be happy with what you have and what you are gaining.

A year ago, you would have looked at people with your current body shape and wondered why you can't look like that

arnostbilej

Troll much?

I_need_moar_musclez

Troll much?

No. Just devoid of any self-esteem and completely disillusioned. Thanks for your help, though.

kessler4130

Looking at your diary, you are most likely not in enough surplus, basic rule of thumb is a 500 calorie surplus, I seriously doubt your maintenance intake is 1800-1900 calories. I would also drop your protein to 0.8 to 1 gram per pound of lean body mass, 260 grams would sustain Jay Cutler, you would be more than fine at 200 grams, your fats are fine, the rest would be carbohydrates. You cannot grow without a surplus of calories, and trying to lean bulk at just above maintenance takes the knowledge of a mad scientist as you could very well over exert yourself and end up in a deficit.

Make sure you track your progression or total volume (weightxrepsxsets) and be sure to increase it over time, working to failure is not always the key as you will decrease the total volume by falling short on remaining sets, save working to failure for your last set or two of an exercise to keep your volume at its highest.

But you look like you are coming along just fine, keep up the good work.

picnic2day

You're looking pretty good to me :flowerforyou:

abadvat

It takes time and patience to eventually get there.
No one ever got to the physique they have without time and efforts.
Eat big - train big and make sure you give 110% in the weight area - all the good stuff will eventually show up!

I_need_moar_musclez

Looking at your diary, you are most likely not in enough surplus, basic rule of thumb is a 500 calorie surplus, I seriously doubt your maintenance intake is 1800-1900 calories. I would also drop your protein to 0.8 to 1 gram per pound of lean body mass, 260 grams would sustain Jay Cutler, you would be more than fine at 200 grams, your fats are fine, the rest would be carbohydrates. You cannot grow without a surplus of calories, and trying to lean bulk at just above maintenance takes the knowledge of a mad scientist as you could very well over exert yourself and end up in a deficit.

Make sure you track your progression or total volume (weightxrepsxsets) and be sure to increase it over time, working to failure is not always the key as you will decrease the total volume by falling short on remaining sets, save working to failure for your last set or two of an exercise to keep your volume at its highest.

But you look like you are coming along just fine, keep up the good work.

Thank you. Appreciated.

CrusaderSam

When you say "other guys" who are you talking about? Like ifbb pro bodybuilders, guys at your gym, people here on mfp?

shadowofender

Just a thought, but does it get harder with age?
Regardless, you look fantastic, I think, and if you're working hard you'll get where you need to go.

aurorareigns

Troll much?

No. Just devoid of any self-esteem and completely disillusioned. Thanks for your help, though.

Aw *hugs*

traceywoody

Dude, your physique is way above average in terms of attractiveness and fitness as compared to the world's average 40 year old.

So what's the problem?

And what the hell is going on here with the threads tonight?

A 39 year old is worried about his girly friend shunning his moobs (which appear to be non existent in his photo) and a 40 year old is depressed about not looking like Jean Claude Van Damme circa 1985.

Its the pull of the Super Moon tonight. It must be messing with our minds. :laugh:

ilfaith

I think you look terrific. You have made great progress and your work and dedication has paid off. But, truth be told, I do not think your most recent picture is your best, but that is due simply to poor posture and a bad camera angle (also, not loving the beard, but it is for a good cause). I know it can be hard not to compare ourselves with younger, fitter people...especially at the gym...but really, you are in great shape for a man of any age (of course I think of 40 as quite young, since I am five years your senior).

FindingAmy77

that is easy to answer: because you aren't the "other guys" You are you. Looks good to me.

Lesleycali

you are looking good! And I agree, this photo was not the best out of all of them ( I peeked). You definitely got some muscles and your hard work is obvious.

Nojoke81

This trip that we're on is a real learning experience, that is inevitably saturated with disappointment.

Effort over time is one part of it, however learning about chemical compositions of food and various minutia that overtly and covertly effect the results that we have is at least half of it.

Be patient, keep at it you'll be there one day.

wannakimmy

Think you are looking great. Keep up the hard work.

I_need_moar_musclez

Thanks folks, and many apologies. This thread has spelled it out to me that mentally and physically I'm poles apart. I'm desperate to get a good body because I can't do anything about my face and I just want to have SOMETHING about me that could one day be considered attractive and therefore finally be able to be comfortable in my own skin instead of ashamed of it.

I_need_moar_musclez

When you say "other guys" who are you talking about? Like ifbb pro bodybuilders, guys at your gym, people here on mfp?

The other guys on here with the ripped profile pics.

Veil5577

I see absolutely nothing wrong with the way you look.

Rocket_Man44

Looking at your diary, you are most likely not in enough surplus, basic rule of thumb is a 500 calorie surplus, I seriously doubt your maintenance intake is 1800-1900 calories. I would also drop your protein to 0.8 to 1 gram per pound of lean body mass, 260 grams would sustain Jay Cutler, you would be more than fine at 200 grams, your fats are fine, the rest would be carbohydrates. You cannot grow without a surplus of calories, and trying to lean bulk at just above maintenance takes the knowledge of a mad scientist as you could very well over exert yourself and end up in a deficit.

Make sure you track your progression or total volume (weightxrepsxsets) and be sure to increase it over time, working to failure is not always the key as you will decrease the total volume by falling short on remaining sets, save working to failure for your last set or two of an exercise to keep your volume at its highest.

But you look like you are coming along just fine, keep up the good work.

THIS!! Couldn't sum it up better myself.

yopeeps025

I feel the same, but a good friend gave me the following advice:

Its your body not theirs, you have no idea what they do each day, they might be spending 12 hours a day in the gym or been training for 5+ years.
Just be happy with what you have and what you are gaining.

A year ago, you would have looked at people with your current body shape and wondered why you can't look like that

Five years I know people in their 20s who have been training for over a decade.

I am not to sure if age has anything to do with not building muscle well. I'm sure it makes no differences.

otter090812

You look good to me, face and body (I see the beard is being grown for a special reason). You have nothing to be ashamed of. Put simply, I think the problem lies within. You need to work on your self-esteem. Confidence (and I don't mean arrogance) is attractive.

marie3221

I think you look pretty good! Keep it up and don't get down on yourself! It takes time, and I think it is safe to assume that they guys you are referring to did not get that way over night.

Hearts_2015

Thanks folks, and many apologies. This thread has spelled it out to me that mentally and physically I'm poles apart. I'm desperate to get a good body because I can't do anything about my face and I just want to have SOMETHING about me that could one day be considered attractive and therefore finally be able to be comfortable in my own skin instead of ashamed of it.

and why would want to?! You look awesome, looking at your other photos you are getting very muscular, nothing wrong with your face buddy, you look like you'd be a fun guy to hang around and are good looking.

we truly are our worst enemies, something I too strive to overcome!

But we can also be our best friend, learn to love ourselves unconditionally is one of the greatest things we can do for ourselves:happy:

maddyk91

you look amazing! don't be depressed!!

inhobbited

Seriously! Newmeadow beat me to it and said it better than I could. You have a distinguished and approachable look and, personally, I think you're quite attractive. I've never tried to build a bunch of muscle before, so I can't really comment on that. However, you have a nice physique already and continuing to work out is only going to help. I like the phrase, "You are your own competition." Don't worry about "those other guys." I know it's hard, but once you change how you think about that it will really help.

Confidence isn't just about believing in yourself, it's about moving your way through life with purpose. If there's something you believe in that you honestly pursue, it spills over into believing in yourself. Do you like to workout as a hobby? That's fine! What other things do you enjoy? What matters to you? I see you have a charitable spirit, according to your profile - that's fantastic! (As a woman, by the way, I say a big "THANKS!") You have everything you already need. You ARE good enough already.

Just my two cents... :flowerforyou:

SuperVixen2B

Oh my goodness, seriously? You have really good muscle definition! A big part of muscle growth is genetic, and I know quite a few men that would *love* to be able to get where you are and work for it too, but have issues because of genetics. You're blessed!

That being said - that are two things you could do to make the best of what you have.

1. Your posture. Think defeated thoughts to yourself like "I suck, I'm worthless, I'm not good enough", then take a selfie. Then spend some time thinking awesome thoughts to yourself, psyching yourself up like "I'm a total bad *kitten*!" "I'm a magnificent beast". Put on some PUMPED UP Music, Roar like a LION - OWN your space. FEEL the testosterone coursing through your veins. Spend some time standing like a super hero - imagine a cape flowing behind you. Then take another selfie with those thoughts in mind. I bet you see a big difference between the muscle definition in the two. Shoulders back, chin held high, chest forward - definitely makes your body POP. You need to spend some time in inner reflection. Defeated thoughts on the inside will make even the meatiest man look defeated on the outside. Turn that around. You da man!!

2.) Tan. All the body builders I know spend time either using a bronzer and/or tanning before a competition. Darker skin makes muscles really pop, shows definition better.

Now stop thinking those defeated thoughts and start owning your masculinity. You're not a sheep, you're a LION!!! ROAR! :flowerforyou:

I_need_moar_musclez

Thanks again, everybody.

<---This any better?

ilfaith

Thanks again, everybody.

<---This any better?

Yes. Stand proud. You look amazing.

otter090812

Thanks again, everybody.

<---This any better?

Yup!