Why does silence hurt

2

Replies

  • kat65
    kat65 Posts: 124 Member
    they are not ready to talk to you. I would just leave them be. The more you persist, the larger the rift will grow. Leave them alone and let them cool off. Eventually, the relationship could be patched up. But, the other person has to let go of whatever happened and be ready to talk. This could take a week, a month or years. It could just be that they are ready to move on and the relationship is over. The bottom line, though, is that you will continue to get hurt the more you try to contact them and they ignore you.

    My advice is to wait two weeks and then send an email saying that you are available to work things out if they ever decide they want to. And, then leave them alone until they approach you.

    Remember, if you let something go and it flies away, it was never yours.
  • stergios87
    stergios87 Posts: 3 Member
    Noone is irreplaceable. You made your tries. You hit a wall. Move on and continue your life. If they come back in good faith then you both can make ammends. To fix a relationship both parties must want it fixed. You cant do it on your own.
    Everything hurts at first. You' ll get by.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    Who is Noone?
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
    there's some obvious details missing.

    my impression though is that both babies in this situation need to be burped and diapers changed

    Yes.
    Also, has anyone said it yet?


    mmm, Op didn't state that it was a relationship





    Just break up

    I think the other person did... OP didn't get the memo. :laugh:

    just like the other person said they are some details missing and Op didn't say it was relationship with opposite sex.This could be a friendship or family member.who knows and she doesn't need to explain anything to you regarding het personal life.Just answer theqquestion like how its presented instead making assumptions that may not be true
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    there's some obvious details missing.

    my impression though is that both babies in this situation need to be burped and diapers changed

    Yes.
    Also, has anyone said it yet?


    mmm, Op didn't state that it was a relationship





    Just break up

    I think the other person did... OP didn't get the memo. :laugh:

    just like the other person said they are some details missing and Op didn't say it was relationship with opposite sex.This could be a friendship or family member.who knows and she doesn't need to explain anything to you regarding het personal life.Just answer theqquestion like how its presented instead making assumptions that may not be true

    Or you can stop telling people how to write on a public message board.
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  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,519 Member
    I wonder what the falling out was over. I don't need to really know, but you haven't mentioned if you knocked over and broke their favorite vase or you had sex with their significant other. That can make a difference.

    It wasn't anything that big.It was something minor and I accused them of bull*****ting me and I got angry at them. Now I am trying to make amends but they wont respond to me

    If I was accused of bs-ing someone, and I wasn't...I'd be done with the person. Sometimes the damage has been done even if it seems innocuous to one party...everyone has a line and maybe you crossed it with that person.
  • there's some obvious details missing.

    my impression though is that both babies in this situation need to be burped and diapers changed

    Yes.
    Also, has anyone said it yet?


    mmm, Op didn't state that it was a relationship





    Just break up

    I think the other person did... OP didn't get the memo. :laugh:

    just like the other person said they are some details missing and Op didn't say it was relationship with opposite sex.This could be a friendship or family member.who knows and she doesn't need to explain anything to you regarding het personal life.Just answer the question like how its presented instead making assumptions that may not be true
    [/quote


    This
    please reply to my thread politely and contructively to the topc or don't answer at all.I don't have to put all the details regarding my personal life as it is none of your business.
  • SrMaggalicious
    SrMaggalicious Posts: 495 Member
    Leave them be. You have tried contacting them and they obviously are too childish to respond.

    ^^this. the silent treatment is extremely immature and doesn't solve a damn thing..just makes a bigger wedge btwn two people. I call out people I know when they play that stupid game with me.
  • sw33tp3a11
    sw33tp3a11 Posts: 4,646 Member
    Some people just need time to really put everything in perspective. If they care about you enough they will come to you. You already did your part in reaching out. Now let them come to you when they are ready to speak with you again.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    there's some obvious details missing.

    my impression though is that both babies in this situation need to be burped and diapers changed

    Yes.
    Also, has anyone said it yet?


    mmm, Op didn't state that it was a relationship





    Just break up

    I think the other person did... OP didn't get the memo. :laugh:

    just like the other person said they are some details missing and Op didn't say it was relationship with opposite sex.This could be a friendship or family member.who knows and she doesn't need to explain anything to you regarding het personal life.Just answer the question like how its presented instead making assumptions that may not be true


    This
    please reply to my thread politely and contructively to the topc or don't answer at all.I don't have to put all the details regarding my personal life as it is none of your business.

    Then why did you post this on a public message board on the internet where anyone could reply to it? Maybe you should have posted it on your personal wall, you might have gotten the sympathetic responses you were looking for. But since you see fit to give no detail as to how your situation came about, I don't see many people giving blanket sympathy to someone they don't know over the internets.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    there's some obvious details missing.

    my impression though is that both babies in this situation need to be burped and diapers changed

    Yes.
    Also, has anyone said it yet?


    mmm, Op didn't state that it was a relationship





    Just break up

    I think the other person did... OP didn't get the memo. :laugh:

    just like the other person said they are some details missing and Op didn't say it was relationship with opposite sex.This could be a friendship or family member.who knows and she doesn't need to explain anything to you regarding het personal life.Just answer the question like how its presented instead making assumptions that may not be true


    This
    please reply to my thread politely and contructively to the topc or don't answer at all.I don't have to put all the details regarding my personal life as it is none of your business.

    Yet you are airing your personal business on a public message board. K seems legit.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    just like the other person said they are some details missing and Op didn't say it was relationship with opposite sex.This could be a friendship or family member.who knows and she doesn't need to explain anything to you regarding het personal life.Just answer theqquestion like how its presented instead making assumptions that may not be true

    ^^^ I like how this poster chastises people on assuming, but she herself assumes the OP is in a relationship with the opposite sex. What if the OP was in a relationship with the same sex?
  • there's some obvious details missing.

    my impression though is that both babies in this situation need to be burped and diapers changed

    Yes.
    Also, has anyone said it yet?


    mmm, Op didn't state that it was a relationship





    Just break up

    I think the other person did... OP didn't get the memo. :laugh:

    just like the other person said they are some details missing and Op didn't say it was relationship with opposite sex.This could be a friendship or family member.who knows and she doesn't need to explain anything to you regarding het personal life.Just answer the question like how its presented instead making assumptions that may not be true


    This
    please reply to my thread politely and contructively to the topc or don't answer at all.I don't have to put all the details regarding my personal life as it is none of your business.

    Then why did you post this on a public message board on the internet where anyone could reply to it? Maybe you should have posted it on your personal wall, you might have gotten the sympathetic responses you were looking for. But since you see fit to give no detail as to how your situation came about, I don't see many people giving blanket sympathy to someone they don't know over the internets.

    why do you need to know details about how my situation came about? I chose to keep the details vague as I felt like it wasn't necessary .The question is just that , and I am not looking for sympathy.Go through the thread and read other people response who answered my questions without demanding details so you know what kind of answers I am looking for.Nine of them where sympathic yo me at all, they just answered my question respectfully without making assumputions about the situation. Likre what I said details about my personal life is none of bussiness and lets leave it at that
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Some people just need time to really put everything in perspective. If they care about you enough they will come to you. You already did your part in reaching out. Now let them come to you when they are ready to speak with you again.

    Yes
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Sometimes people need space (for many reasons).
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I used to have an unhealthy relationship with my mother. And at one point, for the health of myself and our relationship, I just had to stop talking to her for a very brief time. And I needed to let her deal with her own feelings about it, instead of rushing back into our usual unhealthy relationship. Now, it's better.
  • tiptoethruthetulips
    tiptoethruthetulips Posts: 3,371 Member
    I wonder what the falling out was over. I don't need to really know, but you haven't mentioned if you knocked over and broke their favorite vase or you had sex with their significant other. That can make a difference.

    It wasn't anything that big.It was something minor and I accused them of bull*****ting me and I got angry at them. Now I am trying to make amends but they wont respond to me

    They are doing more bull****ting so as to gain control of the situation, by ignoring you they are in control and make you desperate enough to jump when they say when.

    What are you trying to make amends for? Being angry, making a mountain out of a molehill or the accusation?
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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  • 1stplace4health
    1stplace4health Posts: 523 Member
    Since I am one of those, "leave me alone" people......they just need some time. Let them contact you.:flowerforyou:
  • 1stplace4health
    1stplace4health Posts: 523 Member
    there's some obvious details missing.

    my impression though is that both babies in this situation need to be burped and diapers changed

    hilarious
  • 1stplace4health
    1stplace4health Posts: 523 Member
    Who is Noone?

    hahahahaha
  • Some people just need time to really put everything in perspective. If they care about you enough they will come to you. You already did your part in reaching out. Now let them come to you when they are ready to speak with you again.

    Yes

    Agreed
  • there's some obvious details missing.

    my impression though is that both babies in this situation need to be burped and diapers changed

    Yes.
    Also, has anyone said it yet?


    mmm, Op didn't state that it was a relationship





    Just break up

    I think the other person did... OP didn't get the memo. :laugh:

    just like the other person said they are some details missing and Op didn't say it was relationship with opposite sex.This could be a friendship or family member.who knows and she doesn't need to explain anything to you regarding het personal life.Just answer the question like how its presented instead making assumptions that may not be true


    This
    please reply to my thread politely and contructively to the topc or don't answer at all.I don't have to put all the details regarding my personal life as it is none of your business.

    Then why did you post this on a public message board on the internet where anyone could reply to it? Maybe you should have posted it on your personal wall, you might have gotten the sympathetic responses you were looking for. But since you see fit to give no detail as to how your situation came about, I don't see many people giving blanket sympathy to someone they don't know over the internets.

    why do you need to know details about how my situation came about? I chose to keep the details vague as I felt like it wasn't necessary .The question is just that , and I am not looking for sympathy.Go through the thread and read other people response who answered my questions without demanding details so you know what kind of answers I am looking for.Nine of them where sympathic to me at all, they just answered my question respectfully without making assumputions about the situation. Likre what I said details about my personal life is none of bussiness and lets leave it at that.I left out details about it because of people like you and I was right since you are now making assumptions about the situation and making it something that its not
  • _SantaClause
    _SantaClause Posts: 335 Member
    :huh:

    Pretty much.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    there's some obvious details missing.

    my impression though is that both babies in this situation need to be burped and diapers changed

    Yes.
    Also, has anyone said it yet?


    mmm, Op didn't state that it was a relationship





    Just break up

    I think the other person did... OP didn't get the memo. :laugh:

    just like the other person said they are some details missing and Op didn't say it was relationship with opposite sex.This could be a friendship or family member.who knows and she doesn't need to explain anything to you regarding het personal life.Just answer the question like how its presented instead making assumptions that may not be true


    This
    please reply to my thread politely and contructively to the topc or don't answer at all.I don't have to put all the details regarding my personal life as it is none of your business.

    Then why did you post this on a public message board on the internet where anyone could reply to it? Maybe you should have posted it on your personal wall, you might have gotten the sympathetic responses you were looking for. But since you see fit to give no detail as to how your situation came about, I don't see many people giving blanket sympathy to someone they don't know over the internets.

    why do you need to know details about how my situation came about? I chose to keep the details vague as I felt like it wasn't necessary .The question is just that , and I am not looking for sympathy.Go through the thread and read other people response who answered my questions without demanding details so you know what kind of answers I am looking for.Nine of them where sympathic to me at all, they just answered my question respectfully without making assumputions about the situation. Likre what I said details about my personal life is none of bussiness and lets leave it at that.I left out details about it because of people like you and I was right since you are now making assumptions about the situation and making it something that its not

    I didn't ask you for any details, nor do I really care. I'm just finding it funny that you're getting agitated because you posted your message on a public forum and expect to moderate the answers given to you.
  • They owe you enough respect to not leave you hanging or guessing . It hurts cause they dont deliver it.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    I didn't ask you for any details, nor do I really care.

    I do. What the hell happened to cause this terrible shunning? What did OP do to this poor person?

    Read her OP, she seems to think I was interrogating her. I was really asking why she was surprised that people answered the way they did (my curiousity), being that it was a question posed on a forum.

    Terrible shunning. Really, get a grip :huh:

    Edit: I reread what you said and I'm not sure if you're addressing what I said or the actual OP, as I may have read it wrong. SO if that's the case and you are asking about OP's situation then forgive me for misinterpreting your post. Otherwise, see the first part :laugh:
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I am one of those people who needs to be alone to get over things.

    No it is not passive aggressive behavior. It is Leave Me The Hell Alone behavior.

    No they are not childish.

    YOU need to give them space so they can get over it. If you cannot respect their process, why should they respect yours?
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I am one of those people who needs to be alone to get over things.

    No it is not passive aggressive behavior. It is Leave Me The Hell Alone behavior.

    No they are not childish.

    YOU need to give them space so they can get over it. If you cannot respect their process, why should they respect yours?

    This